Pilot (Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal)
Charlie's life turns upside down when his brother and nephew move in; at the supermarket, Charlie discovers he can use 10-year-old Jake to attract women.
Big Flappy Bastards
While spending time with Jake, Charlie finds it hard to enforce rules that Alan has set out for him. It gets to the point were Jake lures a flock of sea gulls into his room, and Charlie .. show full overview
Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
After spending a day at Disneyland, Jake gets sick and wants to go to his mothers' house, to have her take care of him. This sends Alan into a state of misery, as he realizes he's .. show full overview
If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
Charlie is very unhappy with his housekeepers' decision to quit, after she experiences Alan's demanding ways. Alan then offers to take on the role of housekeeper, but this situation .. show full overview
The Last Thing You Want to Do Is Wind Up with a Hump
After spending a night in Las Vegas, Charlie decides to live up to his promise that he made to Jake about attending his soccer game. During the game, Charlie sets up a play-date with an .. show full overview
Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
Charlie tries to teach Jake to avoid certain calls that Charlie doesn't want to deal with, like his mother (Evelyn) for one. Evelyn gets so frustrated with not being able to talk to .. show full overview
If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
Judith gets worried when, for a school assignment, Jake draws the tattooed buttocks of a female surfer friend of Charlie's who is in the habit of walking around his place half naked. .. show full overview
Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snootful
Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.
Phase One, Complete
After meeting Wendy, a one-night stand of Charlies, Jake befriends her. Charlie doesn't like this situation, as he believes Wendy is using Jake to further their relationship, and he has .. show full overview
In an attempt to prove that he is a family man, Charlie invites Lisa over for Thanksgiving dinner
Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
While at the movies, the brothers bump into Judith and her new boyfriend. Seeing that Judith has changed her look, and the fact that Jake doesn't think Alan is as cool as Judith; .. show full overview
Camel Filters + Pheromones
When Berta is forced to bring her granddaughter Prudence to work with her, the boys find themselves a little preoccupied with her.
Sarah Like Puny Alan
Charlie finally gets a chance for a double date with a hot neighbor, who is out for revenge on her cheating husband, and her sister who's a hot soap opera actress, and needs Alan to come .. show full overview
I Can't Afford Hyenas
Stan, Charlie's accountant, tries to explain Charlie's financial woes to him.
Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
Against Alan's judgment, Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie.
That Was Saliva, Alan
Frankie tells Charlie and Alan why she and her daughter are on the run; Frankie's daughter has a crush on Jake.
Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
Alan offends Charlie by choosing harebrained cousins as Jake's guardians in the event of his death.
An Old Flame With a New Wick
Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man (Chris O'Donnell).
I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
Judith's sister, Liz (guest star Teri Hatcher), hits on Alan at Jake's birthday party; Evelyn prefers alcohol to cake.
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
Judith believes that Jake is having a hard time dealing with his parent's divorce, after he starts annoying everyone with his non-stop guitar playing. So she suggests that they send Jake .. show full overview
No Sniffing, No Wowing
Charlie jeopardizes Alan's divorce settlement by sleeping with his attorney, Laura.
My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
Charlie attempts to cure Alan of his recent bout of sleepwalking; Jake sees his therapist.
Just Like Buffalo
Charlie tries to sweet talk Judith's divorcee support-group into letting Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.
Can You Feel My Finger?
A pregnancy scare has Charlie heading to the doctor for a vasectomy.