Spoony's first ever video review of the hardest video game ever made: The Adventures of Bayou Billy for the NES.

Witness one of the most broken, pointless, and frustrating RPGs ever to blight the world: AD&D - Heroes of the Lance, a game with broken hit detection, unforgivably bad graphics, and the cheapest frigging enemies ever.

Talk about a bait-and-switch! Spoony got suckered in by the coolest game title ever, only to find that it has nothing to do with samurai OR zombies. Instead it involves the epic struggle between a forty-foot floating head and a greased-up undead Sean Connery. You can't make this stuff up.

It doesn’t get any grander than the licensed videogame where Kevin Costner squeezed into his tights and plucked up a longbow to kick ass in the name of the proletariat! Let’s take a blast back to the past and relive the horror that is… Prince of Thieves!

Following two surgeries and doped-out on prescription painkillers, The Spoony One returns to face his own private Apocalypse on the Atari 2600, the argued worst game ever made, E.T. The Extraterrestrial.

This review of The Thing is brought to you by Quaker Oats. Wilford Brimley reminds you to check your blood sugar, and you check it often! Fight diabeetus!

The first in a long-running review on Final Fantasy VIII. In this chapter, I return from my extended absence to introduce you to just a few of the things that piss me off royally about the game.

Some sick bastards actually wrote in asking for more Draw footage, and they had a point. You can’t understand what Final Fantasy VIII is until you’ve experienced just a fraction of that pure, transcendent pain. Watch, and fear…

The Heroes of the Lance return to save Krynn from the Dark Lord Verminaard and the menace of the Dragonarmies. Can the Spoony One turn back the dark tide of evil one more time? Can he survive this horrible game?

This episode tackles the most annoying of all minigames: the thirty hour side quest known as Triple Triad. Everyone’s doing it! It’s time to d-d-d-d-d-duel!

It’s time to finally confront the game itself. No more mini-games, no more magic. Let’s take a look at the story and characters that make Final Fantasy VIII…shall we say, “special.” Oh, and there’s a giant mechanical spider and Robin Williams. Chicken-geek.

The prom continues, but my date has ditched me! Will I ever find love? And what’s in the magic lamp?

While preparing for the FMV adventure known as Star Trek Klingon, I felt obliged to subject myself to the Power Klingon Language Course provided on the third disc, hosted by none other than Michael Dorn! Take the Power Klingon challenge along with me, and see how much honor you retain by the end! Qapla! (Turn your volume up! Some people have said that the CD is a little hard to hear.)

Sharpen your stakes and gird your loins, because I’m about to load my CD player again and bust the nefarious forces of the undead in this: an audio choose-your-own-adventure known as Terror T.R.A.X.!

As Terror TRAX concludes, we head on down to the Big Easy to stop the wolfman before he changes New Orleans from the chocolate city to the clobbered city.

WARNING: Mature Content! It seems that FF8 has thrown me into a hallucinatory wonderland, where a parallel universe version of myself decided to ravage Final Fantasy SEVEN instead! Before everyone gets upset, I’m just fucking around so count to ten before you go declaring a blood-feud on my house.

When there is no more room in hell, the Resident Evil clones will walk the earth! It’s Mulder & Scully teaming up against the Army of Darkness. Can our plucky heroes survive this dawn of the dead, or should they have brought steel-toed boots? Let’s get kickin’. That’s why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit.

A character who uses a gun? This is a dream! It’s a tale of really awkward romance and a fat man throwing a harpoon at mushrooms. Will our heroes ever wake up and find out what in the hell their mission is? Is Quistis a fembot? And what horrible thing will I name Rinoa’s dog?

Take a tour of the FMV games I grew up playing and learn how they scarred my existence! There’s more to come, and we’re leading up to a full-length review of one of the oddest FMV games ever made! Now we tackle the most dreaded of the FMV titles: the interactive movies. We begin with Foxhunt and continue on to one of the rarest and most difficult games to run: Johnny Mnemonic. He’s a data courier in a future that hasn’t invented e-mail or thumb drives, and if you touch the computers your head explodes. Jeez, even in the future nothing works. Will Johnny ever find the rest of his computer so he can start tracking down that damn download code? And will it do him any good since every computer he touches melts his brain? Only Chef can provide those answers, so we head to the Lo-Tek headquarters to hack our own brains and to get our hands on some chocolate salty balls!

While searching the Internet for some FMV footage, I stumbled across this stinker for Super Wing Commander, a game I never knew existed for a console that had a higher price point in 1994 than the Playstation 3 had in 2006. So you know this game had to be awesome, right?