It's that time again, and Carl came prepared with some wicked good Tuel material.

Let's hear it for them New York Football Giants! Not the horse-headed, biblical giants. Obviously.

Carl knows that the real "week one" occurs three weeks into the season.

Carl finds himself alone and forgotten in a cold, indifferent world. Because of sports.

Carl's getting help from some very nice men with some very colorful pills.

With the Giants now 0-5, Carl is forced to move on to greener pastures.

A new era dawns as Carl finally acknowledges teams that exist outside of New York.

Sensitivity abounds as Carl discusses team names and mascots.

Carl has a deep, abiding respect for Schiano's abusive, fatherly coaching style.

Carl's sick of all the bullying in Miami. The media's bullying of Richie Incognito, that is.

Carl knows that every heart attack has a silver lining.

Carl's beloved Giants are back, and his swelling pride leaves no room for your fancy naysayer math.

Join Carl for some quiet reflection as he gives thanks for the only thing that matters in life: football.

Carl knows there are sinister plots underway within the world of professional football, and he's about to bust the doors wide open using nothing but acronyms.

Carl admires any fan who dares to battle the cold and ice with only a chest full of blubber and a cheese-lined mustache.

Carl gets into the Christmas spirit by really sticking it to Dallas. Big time.

In the midst of Playoff Fever, Carl takes the time to defend his beloved mustache. Get your whisker priorities straight, Andrew.

Carl prepares for the Conference Championship by waxing nostalgic on the punching bag QB strategies of old. Allegedly.

The greatest game on Earth has finally come to the greatest city on Earth, according to Carl.