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James "feels like less of a man" due to his 1962 Klammath semi recliner. It is up to KillahByte (Morgan) and the crew at North West Customs to pimp his chair out with Ultra-Fur, a PS2, an LCD screen, rims and a fire extinguisher.

There's such a thing as being 'too' cautious, as Paul and a mysterious Narrator demonstrate for us quite effectively.

For whatever reason they sing "Jingle Bells", "We Wish You a Merry Christmas", and "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" while trick-or-treating.

If you over did it last night, this morning you can: Drink the classic - hot sauce, pepto bismol and tomato juice; Drink the new and improved - raw egg and coke; Drink the hair of the dog that bit you both with and without hair; Cool off in the freezer; Scare your hangover away; Eat lots of fruit and fiber; Pray; Un drink; Sub contract it; Beat up some who feels great then take their liver to replace yours; The Sam Raimi with pepto bismol.

In the list of the top hundred stand-up comedians, there were only eight women. What is responsible for this disparity? Women aren't funny! Kathleen delivers an insightful analysis of the problems with gender-specific humor and offers specific suggestions for improving female comedy.

Graham's been burned too many times before. He's not going to buy a console system, wait desperately for games to be developed, only to have the console discontinued again. He's breaking the early-adopter habit - although he did pre-order one. He can't be expected to go cold turkey, after all. But he's not going to pick it up, no matter how hard Morgan tries to talk him into it. Then Paul begins unpacking his new XBox 360...

The Story Guy makes his second appearance as he discusses his love of pig Latin translations, Irish giraffe herding, the goings on at the Russian Embassy, the Fifth Street Slasher and the Amateur Aeronautics and Tolstoy Appreciation Club in no particular order.

LRR takes a more serious turn as Graham splices together archival film footage to examine attitudes towards adolescence, puberty, homosexuality, and social norms in the 1950s.

You'd better watch out and think twice, because someone is monitoring what you say. If your speech isn't inclusive enough - if you refer not to the "Holiday Season" but a specific religioethnic celebration - they'll find you. They'll take you away. And then the re-education will begin. With candy canes!

In this LRR-style retelling of "The Night Before Christmas", Jangle and Jones are just about to go to sleep when a terrible noise from their kitchen alerts them to the presence of evil - the head of Evil Inc., that is. And he's kidnapped Santa Claus! A valuable lesson is learned by all, followed by a rap from 64K.

Graham is out begging when Andy comes along. Only he does not have any change. Or any bills. Or two pieces of photo ID, the closest bank is closed .... The only solution is for Andy to sit down next to Graham and beg to pay him.

To get rid of your Christmas tree you may: abandon it on someones porch; replant it; sell it at a yard sale for a quarter; toss it off your house; eat it, ... all of it; take it out back and take it out of its misery; just ignore it; will it away with force of you mind; trade places with it; tell it "it's not you, it's me"; hide it in the chesterfield; repurpose it as a lamp.

The elite ghost squad is on a mission of national importance: stop Pac-Man from eating another year's supply of dots. But after they quickly defeat him, Paul switches to Space Invaders.

Graham returns from a job interview. Paul asks how it went, to which Graham responds that he is unsure, but can check with his black box. He holds up a black case and explains to Paul that it records everything he does, similar in fashion to a black box recorder on an aircraft. Graham gives examples such as if he "strikes out" while meeting a girl, or if something goes wrong while in a shop, or even when a moment has to be recorded for posterity. Paul is won over and decides to listen to the recording of the meeting. It starts off well enough with Graham explaining to the recruiting manager the purpose of the black box he is carrying, and that he is trying to set it up correctly. The manager grows impatient from Graham's prolonged fiddling with the black box, and warns Graham that his time is limited, only to be insulted by Graham. Graham is then heard being ushered out of the interview later in the recording. Paul is exasperated and tells Graham the black box cost him the job, but Graham is adament that without it he would not have been able to understand where he went wrong. Paul then gets angry and assaults Graham. The fight isn't seen but can be heard on the black box as Paul and Graham nurse their wounds.

Some of LRR's videos will be appearing in a film festival being held in Nanaimo. The problem's that LRR is in Victoria. Solution? Road Trip! Fun is had by all (Operation Chemainus is a complete success) and LRR picks up some awards.

The Story Guy makes his third appearance, explaining how it became necessary for him to do his laundry while providing a bounty of digressions.

Jeremy Michaels (Jer) hosts a dating program in which three guys (Morgan, Bill and James) vie for the attention of two girls (Lissette and Jessica). Jeremy and Doctor Gibb give terrible dating advice as the three males commit various gaffs. By the end of the show both the girls reject the three and leave with Jeremy.

A dental approval board is discussing the accreditation of a new type of gum on the market. The conversations drifts to one of the member's personal problems with using "male enhancement products", which disturbs the chairman of the board. One member suggests approving the gum on the basis of the packaging, but the chairman reminds him that packaging is something the board does not deal with. The chairman then notices that some of the gum is missing. The member who ate the gum complains he is hungry. The chairman caves in and decides to get some pizza. The board then decides to approve the pizza, much to the exasperation of the chairman who points out the pizza is not good for dental health. Finally, one of the members suggests approving the gum if it had pizza flavour. The chairman gives up and decides to write it down as a suggestion.

Graham and Morgan make a bet that Graham can go for twenty-four hours without talking. After Graham fails to make Paul understand what's going on with a series of charades, he breaks the bet out of sheer frustration, then resolves to start over. Paul decides to see how many times he can get Graham to talk - and he does get Graham talking through a series of clever tricks. The frustration eats at Graham's sanity until he loses all control, proclaims he'll never stop talking, and runs gibbering into the night. Morgan congratulates Paul on his manipulation skills and concludes the private bet they'd made between them.

Gibb explores the world of Kei-Kon, interviews various cosplayers, and learns a very important lesson.

Good evening, everyone! Welcome to the 2006 Lr- lurr?- lrries. LRR presents a selection of this year's movies and gives them a series of funny awards.

Mr. Tiddlywinks (Bill) may kill you in a horror movie if you: answer the phone, answer the door; say any cliched horror movie line including: 'It's okay; he'll never find us in here.', 'It's okay; there's no way he could've gotten here before us.', 'Don't worry: it's all over.', 'Don't worry: he has a pathological fear of closets.', 'Don't worry: he's dead. No one could've survived being hit be a cement truck, having all of his limbs severed, being burned to a crisp, and then being crushed to death by a marching band.', 'Okay, don't worry. I'm not worried. Oh.', 'Okay, don't worry, I have a turkey and Havarti sandwich.' and 'Okay, we managed to escape, but we're still in terribly grave danger... but I think we'll be okay.'; split up; ignore the warnings; be the ethnic minority (in this case South American); wear a red shirt; the Sam Raimi; by infighting.

The creative team behind "Snakes on Plane" gets together to brainstorm ideas for a sequel. Snakes on a bus! Snakes on a train! Snakes on a boat! Snakes on a thane! Snakes with Green Eggs and Ham! (Well, no, but you get the idea.)

LRR makes amends for its horrible slander of Uwe Boll in an earlier video.

If you work on engines or machinery and do not think of your personal safety, you shake hands with danger.

In exchange for Bill eating all kinds of weird stuff, several of Bill's friends agree to eat something he makes - and his unholy creation is truly horrible.

The mysterious individual known only as the Story Guy packs for a holiday and tells a story about the origins of his name - which he fails to mention.

Guy Phillips (Graham) hosts Hagiography Today, your weekly look at the patron saints. Besides answering last weeks mail in quiz, the Saintdown is given, the ranking of saints which is topped by St Marry. The roving Saint Cam with Hal (Paul) is out asking the man and woman on the street who is patron saint of hemorrhoids. Finally there is the Representation Game where you can guess which saint is represented by the given symbols.

Morgan shows up at Graham's place and finds him playing Oblivion. Graham admits he has been playing for 70 hours and is "celebrating no pants day". Morgan then tells Graham that Nintendo have announced their new console system's name, which is the "Wii". Suitably impressed, Graham decides to go out and preorder one and asks for his pants, only to be given a man thong. Outside, Graham cries out "Wee" only to be accosted by a lawyer claiming to be from Nintendo and is warned that he can not shout "Wee" without paying royalties. Graham is skeptical only to be handed a subpoena. Outraged, he asks Morgan for his actual pants and visits a campaign group, Families Against Ridiculous Trademarks. The leader of the group goes off into a tirade about console manufacturers trademarking "monosyllabic expressions of jubilance". The group is joined by a mysterious gentleman who asks if the leader of FART is not afraid of legal action. The leader claims to have a anti-lawyer charm that was bought for $200. He then proceedes to make a prank call to Nintendo only to be traced and found out. Surprised at how they could do so, the mysterious gentlemen reveals himself to be Nintendo's lawyer, who accosted Graham earlier. The FART leader then dispatches him with the anti-lawyer charm. The lawyer melts in a puff of smoke and Graham is left somewhat confused and surprised. The video ends with Graham back at his house playing more video games.

Graham finds Morgan sitting around only wearing underwear. Morgan initially claims it is because he has the right to do so, but when Graham calls his bluff he admits it is because all his clothes were too dirty to wear and are in the wash. This includes the "Billy the Bear costume". He then explains that Bill was doing his washing since he was owed a favour. Morgan also mentions he has been banned from the laundromat, not for doing his laundry in his underwear but for reacting badly to another patron using his machine to clean her clothes. This reaction being covering her clothes in a mixture of "aerosol cheese and his own urine while laughing like a crazed hyena". Morgan then admits it was more fun to stay at home and answer the door as it allowed him to freak out various numbers of people who appeared at the door such as the milkman, paper boy, postman, Jehovah's Witnesses, and girl guides. Graham is amazed and remarks that it's almost a full set. Morgan agrees and notes only the pizza boy is needed to establish a new record. After a training montage of epic proportions, a news broadcast says that Morgan has indeed set a new world record for scaring off people at the door. It also mentions Bill has been arrested for reacting badly to another patrons use of his machine. It appears he also copied Morgan's actions of spraying cheese and urine.

Tired of summer camps that only leave your children with macaroni pictures and a terrible sunburn? At Camp Crush Your Dreams, they can learn valuable life lessons while having fun! CCYD - It's as much fun as grownups have!

Kathleen has a fantastic new money-making idea that she must share with Graham; however, Graham is less than enthusiastic about her plan to register and operate websites catering to obscure nun fetishes, particularly when she reveals her intention to have him dress as a nun. Further ideas involving cats being shot down, Kathleen talks Graham into not only inquiring about a new idea, but going along with it for a trial period before he hears about it. He is then forced to wear a bear costume for her new Rent-A-Furry website.

Graham insists that he and Kathleen need to go hiking, but Kathleen is concerned about bears, and she has a list of totally rational reasons why she should be. The two argue, referencing increasingly obscure but fairly reliable Internet sources regarding the danger posed by bears, ursine and piscine legal counsel, and the centuries-old agreement between bear and shark to remain on land and in sea respectively. Graham has brought enough anti-bear supplies to overcome even Kathleen's resistance, though. The next day, a news anchor reports that the bodies of two hikers have been found in the woods, mauled by sharks.

Paul and Morgan discuss various similes for life, then walk through a fair, discussing how various elements of the carnival might be considered as aspects of life. They establish that life is like a metaphor - it doesn't have to make sense.

The skits performed in this episode of Rapidfire include: - An extended joke involving a clown wig and nose - Several Twisted Fairy Tale Morals - An interlude at the Antique Street Show - An Explanations scene about the teaching of the Theory of Evolution - Audio Trouble - Officer Rodriguez and Detective Riley

A mysterious stranger is handing out petitions full of extremely ambiguous phrasiology regarding Quebec's potential succession from Canada. The arrival of Canadaman reveals him to be none other than the infamous Jaques Francois! The two nearly come to blows, but a bystander directs Canadaman's attention to the petition. Jaques reveals that he has enough copies for everyone in Canada - and he's shipped them Canada Post! Canadaman must rush to stop the petitions from being mailed, but the office has closed early (as it is six-o-clock PM, not seventeen-o-clock). Fortunately he locates the postal worker at Tim Hortons, and the two share doughnuts after stopping the nefarious plan.

The skits performed in this episode of Rapidfire include: - An extended joke involving free association and the TV show "Lost" - A failed attempt at innuendo - An interlude at the Antique Street Show - An Explanations scene on the subject of Relativity - Twisted Fairy Tale Morals - Another Audio Trouble broadcast

Bill and Morgan attempt to rob a grocery store at gunpoint, but Bill neglected to paint his toy gun black to make it more realistic-looking (and loaded it with a suction cup dart to boot). This provokes a fit of laughter from the clerk, and the two flee. They try again at another store and fail miserably due to projectile porn. Deciding that they need to think bigger, they go for a break-in at WalMart, but it's a bad idea to rob a place that locks the cleaning crew in overnight. Next they try to rip off a video store's ATM, but it was too heavy. They end up taking loose change from a beggar's cap. And who says crime doesn't pay?

Graham notices that Morgan is cooking bacon at an odd time; Morgan reveals that James is a hampire and must consume pork products or die. His condition was triggered by eating cursed meat, leading to a host of unusual attributes and weaknesses. Morgan recounts the failed attempts at curing James. Paul makes a jam sandwich, but he uses similarly-cursed jelly and becomes a jampire. Graham wonders what could possibly be next; Bill then enters, singing "Wake Me Up" by the band Wham and complaining about the absence of bacon and jam in the fridge.

Motherfucking Snakes on motherfucking everything in town!

The skits performed in this episode of Rapidfire include: - An extended joke involving headphones and beets - An interlude at the Antique Street Show - An Explanations scene on the subject of the Internet - Officer Rodriguez and Detective Riley

Matt and Jer act out a series of rejected "Get a Mac" advertisements with help from a few friends.

Priceless artifacts are on display at the museum, and our two favorite criminals have hatched the perfect plan to acquire them: enter the building, evade the laser web, get what they need, and get out. Everything is prepared. Except the driver, whom Bill failed to call. So Morgan and Bill take the bus... and leave their carefully labeled plans on it. No problem - they'll steal them back! So that night, they break into the local transit depot by cleverly claiming to sell Girl Guide cookies, then knocking out the guard. Another guard is neutralized by luring him into a closet with a cache of Timbits Bill somehow carries on his person. Plans reacquired from the lost and found, they beat it to the Royal British Columbia Museum... only to find that the "Priceless Treasures of the Old World" exhibit closed the day before to make way for the "Taudry Baubles of the New World". They'll have to pick up a calendar on the way home.

For the first time before a live audience 64K provides a preview of LoadingReadyLIVE!. This rap was performed at each LoadingReadyLive show.

Kathleen explores the Vancouver Zombie Migration 2006. She watches zombies, fights zombies, interviews zombies, meets several interesting varieties of zombie, and has her brain eaten by zombies. Grrrr... bwar...

The skits performed in this episode of Rapidfire include: - An extended joke involving French language tapes, an inflatable Lemming, and a lava lamp - Two interludes at the Antique Street Show - An Explanations scene on the subject of computers - Officer Rodriguez and Detective Riley

Paul has an important announcement: thanks to the purchase of a new camera, LRR will now be seen IN HD!!! Well, it would be if they had the hosting and bandwidth to present HD, and we had the time to download and computer power to watch it, anyway. The team goes on to demonstrate all of the exciting new features of the camera, including a tripod (no more balancing on Matt's back) and humour enhancer (all jokes are 13% funnier). It's so advanced that it can practically shoot LRR's videos by itself - so Paul and Graham will just leave us alone with it.

HOW TO TALK LIKE A PIRATE - PART 5 IN the LoadingReadyLanguage SERIES

Kathleen is looking for employment and only finds jobs which are, according to her friend Mike, scatological in nature. Annoyed at the lack of help from him and the lack of fulfilling jobs, Mike suggests a visit to the careers counselor. Kathleen reluctantly agrees to this after declaring she is up for anything except testing horse urine for drug use. The trip turns out to be unhelpful as the counselor suggests Kathleen "help people actualize their material nationalism...in flag form". After finding out about Mike's fancy walking skills and his persuasiveness, Kathleen decides to first start a street side psychology business, then a grammar analysis business. After both fail, Kathleen gets annoyed and tries to chase after Mike, only to be thwarted by his fancy walking skills. Eventually Kathleen ends up at the flag shop that Mike works at.

Paul has been receiving angry letters from people in the gay community, upset that homosexuals are underrepresented in LRR. Graham explains that Morgan is in fact gay, to Paul's astonishment. A series of flashbacks show how this was revealed, and demonstrate that Morgan is in fact the worst homosexual in the world, ever - but a homosexual nevertheless.

We learn more about the Story Guy and his attire than is probably healthy for us.

An evil madman and his henchman have kidnapped characters from LoadingReadyRun's past, marooned them on an isolated island, and implanted explosive devices in their brains. If they don't fight to the death, they'll die!