LoadingReadyRun

With the aid of a timeline, Paul and Graham give the past, the present and the future of LoadingReadyRun.

After three rounds and six plus cans of Diet Lime Coke a winner is declared.

With the help of a Cosmo Girl we find out just how sexy Paul is.

A la Jackass, tennis balls are hit and thrown at James, hitting him in the ass, back and sack.

With the help of a Cosmo Girl we find out just how much a pain in the butt Paul is.

For the first holiday special the crew terrorize Victoria with pumpkins on their heads. Pumpkin dodge ball and basketball do not work so well but throwing a pumpkin disc, pumpkin phone sex and invading Safeway all work.

Jer prepares Chef Boyardee.

To get around the do not call list, marketers are forces to kidnap James off the street, drag him off and ask him many silly questions.

To eat fries you may: toss them around you back; be sophisticated with knife and fork (but off a frisbee); juggle them; use sheer force of will; knife them like Crocodile Dundee; pass them off to a friend; the Sam Raimi; snorting lines of fries; fling them out of a toaster; force feed them to your roommate; use a corkscrew; grate them; bake them; Tiger Woods Style;

With the help of a Cosmo Girl we find out what do guys like about Paul.

To drink Coke you may: have a cokesicle; be a connoisseur; use psychic powers; be a mad scientist and use a series of straws; the classic - drink it from a glass coke bottle in a coke glass; drink it out of bowl on the floor like a dog; balance the can on its edge; do big shots; spray it like a winning racecar driver; drink it out of a paper bag like a hobo; the Sam Raimi; the Freudian shower; play Russian roulette; no really don't;

Graham and Morgan follow James home to surprise him by throwing a Frisbee at him.

December is filled with obscure holidays that should all be recognized: Wear Brown Shoes Day, Bathtub Party Day, National Bouillabaisse Day, and many others. Morgan gorges himself on the many foods celebrated, growing larger and larger over the month of holidays.

To make someone leave a room you may: recite goth poetry; make an empty threat; threaten someone; make vulgar thrusting motions; use a machete wielding serial killer; drop your pants; pull your underwear out of your pants; use the force; show them the goatse; be a space cadet; use the full power of your THX sound system; channel surf; the Sam Raimi; call in a favor from a friend.

Morgan is offered a choice to upgrade some software when Paul and Graham appear to argue for and against. Graham is able to convince Morgan not to upgrade. However, by pretending to be Graham, Paul is able to trick Morgan into upgrading which promptly causes the computer to crash.

Gareth gets his hair redone by eleven people.

Paul and Graham attempt the unthinkable: a documentary about itself. As the two narrate various incidents that took place during shooting, such as the microphone cutting out, crew hi-jinks, and clever talking head editing, those things actually happen.

To end a movie you may: leave a sequel possible; have an early video game epilogue; have a man armed with a gun kill a man with a sword a la Indiana Jones; have Matrix style bullet time; the Sam Raimi; leave it unresolved; have the badass shoot the person behind him; show the shadow of the action and with a long pull back Film Noir style; end with a double cross by the girl.

To ruin a first date you may: have a stinky palm; have a chainsaw; be a hoser from Langford; be delivered like a robot; be off your rocker; train hard right before the date; have a limited wardrobe; have a very limited wardrobe; be bleeding internally; have her do your laundry; the Sam Raimi.

Graham abuses his powers as an interviewer for the Martlet (the UVic Student newspaper) by having Gob plug LoadingReadyRun and throw an apple at him.

Andy sings a song he wrote proclaiming the true name of the man with the nickname 'Bob' as his real name is far too long.

Graham has somehow become trapped in a mirror. It's not completely terrible, though - there are certain compensations. Like mirror cookies. And dates with hot mirror girls. Paul points out a possible drawback to hot mirror girls that Graham hadn't considered.

The Arrogant Worms plug Loading dash Ready dash Run dotcom. It's like porn but better.

The cosplay at Kei-Kon, the UVic anime convention.

Bill is challenged to drink a rank mixture of Pam, cake icing, lemon juice, plum sauce, tartar sauce, ketchup, Dijon mustard, Worcester sauce, vodka, regular mustard, soy sauce, Purple Stuff, salsa, pickled jalapeño, relish, sour cream, Kool Aid powder, lite Italian dressing, corn syrup, tea, peanut butter and a wedge of cheese.

Paul can not decide how he wants Agent Zero dealt with.

Several houses are moved through the streets of Oak Bay onto a barge. Graham and Paul there to report on one of the most exciting things to ever happen in Oak Bay.

Before setting out on a adventure Graham and Paul replace Gejorn with a mule, Fred. Then it is all clear sailing....

Graham and Paul use Cosmo Girl to find out what coffees are most like Derek, Bill and Morgan.

To save the day James, the Guy who is Super, can: remember your wallet; act as a writing surface; provide you with pants when you are pant less; soften your fall; supply you with toilet paper; blow your nose for you; replace your date; turn off the TV; provide you condoms; bring you groceries; give you ear plugs to block out bad conversation; get you out of awkward social situations; remember your anniversary and get a gift; prevent the Sam Raimi;

In a parody of 24, Paul sleeps; Graham calls a sleeping Bill, drinks milk, then falls asleep; Pat plays KotoR; Morgan sleeps; Jason and Kayt stagger along and pass out.

Paul philosophies about death and kill while he should be fighting. After the fight is over a larch (Bill) is summoned but is not long needed. A discussion of the stereotypes of RPG is interrupted by a scream.

Make sure there is a sufficient number of people. Mosh with people your own size, use friends if necessary. Respect the boundaries of the mosh pit and wear appropriate headgear. Cell phones are a bad idea in the pit, as is drinking. Keep sweat to yourself and keep your car out of the mosh pit. Do not mosh on a concrete floor.

With the help of Cosmo Girl Derek's rockstar soulmate is 50 Cent, Bill's rockstar soulmate is John Mayer and Morgan's rockstar soulmate is Justin Timberlake.

Whose Line is it Anyway? plugs LoadingReadyRun.

Paul briefs the new recruits to Evil Corp. about his plan to steal the standard kilogram.

Mr. Atkinson, Graham's grade eight science teacher, offered an automatic A to anyone who could memorize and sing to the class Tom Lehrer's "The Elements", a list of the chemical elements set to the tune of the Major-General's Song by Gilbert and Sullivan. Graham, seeing this as an easy way to get a good grade, memorized the song and has still not forgotten it. Being a man of his word, Mr. Atkinson did give Graham his A, but the school's science teachers no longer make that deal with students.

Canadians are responsible for the invention of the telephone, the gramophone, the zipper, and Trivial Pursuit, among other things.

The LoadingReadyRun crew bring their N64 into the Bay Centre to play GoldenEye. Although the old lady is interested a security guard kicks them out.

Joe (Chris) yanks Graham off an Acura lot to show him his selection of "vintage cars". Joe uses all his tricks to sell one packed with "features". After closing the deal, Joe jumps off the roof where his "car lot" located.

After buying an unlabelled can for nineteen cents, someone chosen at random gets to eat it. Eric ends up getting to eat what turns out to be dog food.

The guards wonder what the greatest military minds are discussing. Little do they know that the leaders are discussing what wood the table is made out of.

Using odds and ends, including many hats, found at Chris Nohr's place the four boys perform several short skits. Andy reappears several times as El Pollo, a Mexican wrestler who plays many instruments.

Kathleen pulls up to the drive thru and asks for a chocolate shake and a dickin. After being informed that there are no male employee available to perform the dicking she asks for a chicken dickin which is also refused.

Steve Notley talks about his creative process and plugs LoadingReadyRun.

As part of Graham's film class, he shoots a time lapse video of Victoria's Inner Harbour.

Paul watches movies. He pays good money to watch them, even Battlefield Earth. So why must he sit through an anti piracy ad?

Morgan, James, Bill and Allen eat a hot sandwich Ash prepares containing jalapeno cheese foccacia, pepper salami Frank's RedHot chili sauce, Heinz chili sauce, Grace pepper sauce, Tabasco sauce, cracked black pepper, red crushed chilies, jalapeno cheese, Louisiana hot sauce, tomato and jalapenos. As the sandwich is good but not hot enough they, add more chilies and stuff peppers with red crushed chilies. People do cry but Bill is the first give up and eat yogurt. Eventually they have shots of hot sauce.

Paul and Graham act out some of the spam they have received.

After receiving a tip about a crop circle, they get lost in the woods and are attacked by ants. After finding the meadow they eventually find a crop circle.

Paul and Graham try to get Morgan to accept Satan as his personal lord and master. Unfortunately the Book of Stan does not help the argument and Morgan points out Satan is rather pointless without Christianity.

Introducing Jangle and Jones. The dynamic duo chase a criminal through suspiciously similar-looking streets. Jangles is incapacitated by a blow to the head, and, after a short coffee break, the criminal looks set to escape. Fortunately, Jangles is already inside the car he chooses to flee in, and captures him. Unfortunately, the criminal takes advantage Jangles and Jones's celebratory freeze-frame high-five to make his escape.

Paul and Graham look back at: A Brief History of Lame; Tennis; the Girly Magazine Quizzes; the 2003 Halloween Special; The Alternative to Telemarketers; Ways to Eat Fries; the 2003 Holiday Special; Hair; Quantum Documentary; Andy: Esq.; Arrogant Worms; Drink; The Dungeoneers; 42; Mosh Pit Etiquette; Whose Line is it Anyway?; Who Watches Movies?; Sandwich of Fire; Door to Door;