Road Wars

New members of the Team, Darren 'Daz' Staley and Rosie Vosser, accompanied by Dixie, chase down people who burgle houses just for the car keys. Rosie demonstrates her command of the Proactive Crim Radar and her hunch nets the thieves, while Daz breaks the car. A bit. Ronnie Walsh (unseen) chases a stolen van through Slough whose driver seems to be allergic to driving on the correct side of the road. Despite being stung, he’s not giving up – or at least not until he runs out of road. Oops. Chris (check out the facial hair!) and Simon participate in yet more Falconry to nab a major drug dealer. Simon arrests a guy who is much bigger than he is while the rest of the team take down the door. They hit paydirt though – with a six-figure stash lurking in the house. Off to Bletchley to look into shoplifting – Chris and Simon chew boot leather masquerading as meat while their Crim Radars find a suitably shifty looking character. A quarter of an hour later (a man, in Next, for 15 minutes??) they pounce – and find him very adept at shedding his coat, until they arrest him in a heap of bushes. Charlie and Ruffy take over at Bletchley – dealing with an assault victim who just happens to be selling huge numbers of pirated DVDs catering to all tastes…ick. And the claimed assailants aren’t exactly squeaky clean themselves – if the 4x4 wheels in the back of their van are anything to go by. Charlie and Ruffy are in High Wycombe doing a bit more Falconry. They pull a red Subaru (why is it always a Subaru?) with a delightfully uncooperative passenger and a driver who claims (don’t they all?) to be insured and doesn’t like being filmed. It’s the old ‘take out a policy, then cancel it but keep the certificate’ trick. So – they seize the car! Rosie and Daz are in Reading and come across someone they think has been run over – except she’s been bulldozed by something far simpler; booze! They get her safely home – though the offer of a kiss

Chris and Simon are in Aylesbury keeping tabs on a suspicious car which their crim radars are peaking over. The pull, needless to say, results in a making off. The driving is crazy – but the heavy traffic frustrates the chase. Charlie and Ruffy head off to track down icky distraction burglars in Chesham. They spot a likely looking vehicle and speak to the owner who, while not being a burglar, has (guess what) only just bought it and can’t remember who he’s insured it with. Interestingly, he is quite happy to give up his car despite the recent purchase! This may be because he never reapplied for his license after being disqualified and thus hasn’t got one… Chris and Simon are in Milton Keynes to execute a warrant, until Chris’s amazing sense of smell leads them to something far more astonishing – an entire cannabis factory in a nearby house! All hail The Nose! Still in Milton Keynes, Chris and Simon bust up a spliff smoking session in a parked car. Time to see if it’s just for personal use. And then to work out who the weed actually belongs to. No, boys – it’s not legal, and no, you can’t have it back. Charlie and Ruffy are in Bracknell, and team up with Chris and Simon to pull a car that pings Charlie’s Crim radar. Good call. The chaps in the car are ATM fraudsters. And they catch them with all the evidence of how they do their naughtiness. Well done Charlie! Roma and Ronnie head off to disrupt a burglary in progress in Sunningdale. It’s not a regular haunt so they’re not sure where they’re going. However, the burglars are now hiding in woodland so it’s up to the dogs to find them. Which they do! Chris and Simon are back in Milton Keynes pulling a car full (literally!) of youths with no tax on it. Not just that – he’s got no license or insurance either. Surprise, surprise. There is a tax disc, but not for that car.

Simon and Chris are in High Wycombe to help clamp down on smash and grabs from cars. They aren’t in time to nab them on site, so they head off and help to box it in with a bit of help from Charlie and Lloydy. Not surprisingly, the thefts (of portable sat navs) are funding a drug habit. Chris and Simon, in Milton Keynes respond to a 999 call about blokes hanging around a car suspiciously. Simon recognises them, and Chris spots their ‘conveniently found’ screwdrivers. Guess what they’re doing, then? Even though the car they’re hanging around is abandoned, it’s still a bit on the suspicious – and one of them really, really doesn’t want to be arrested without realising that it’s all part of the Street Caution process. His behaviour leads to a full arrest, and Chris nearly has his arm bitten off by the car door! Rosie and Daz are in Reading and come across a madly speeding transit which they turn and head after. It seems to be lost, but Rosie’s not going to let it go, and her persistence pays off with an ANPR ding. One car chase, some hurled debris (with accompanying bad language) and a cross-country run later, Daz nabs one of the occupants while the other dives into the woods. When they get back to the van – there’s still someone in it! Charlie and Ruffy are in Oxford behind a badly driven white van with an out of date tax disc. That’s just the tip of the iceberg, though – the van is borderline dangerous with so many defects that Ruffy seizes it. Though the bottle of ‘juice’ lurking in the back is perhaps not something he would like to have found… Chris and Simon’s ANPR takes a dislike to a mega posh merc in Milton Keynes because it’s untaxed. The driver is shown as wanted for non-payment of fines and for having no licence – and he has his kid in the car!!!! The car is uninsured and not taxed, so Simon seizes it, and gets the chance to drive it! Iestyn and Boris (left in the van. Shame!) are on duty in Windsor looking

Rosie and Daz are in Reading to nab a pair of suspected armed robbers, but still have time to indulge in a spot of ‘I spy’ with some of the local boys. The first is nabbed easily enough, while the other needs a bit of persuasion to open the front door of his flat – though he can’t see who’s out there because Daz has covered the spy hole with his fingertip. Quite why the guy has two sets of body armour in the flat is not clear… Charlie and Ruffy are in Oxford helping out a couple of PCSOs who are getting grief from a driver at the scene of a crash. One of them really doesn’t like their interest in the slightest. Quite why he feels like this is a mystery as he’s perfectly legitimate and has nothing to worry about! Though swearing at Charlie as he walks off probably isn’t the nicest thing to do. Chris and Simon lead a falconry raid in Aylesbury, tackling a suspected dealer with a history of assaulting police. Particularly satisfying for Lester as he’s one of those police! The search reveals ridiculously large amounts of porn mags, twenty pound notes scattered like tissues after a bad cold and two dead blackbirds; but no drugs. Chris isn’t letting it go, and is rewarded with the stash of coke which is lurking inside a bedstead! Chris and Simon, still on Falcon duty, are in Milton Keynes where they pull a car that takes an ominously long time to come to a halt, pulls off when Simon gets out, then stops as soon as he gets back in the car! It’s the ‘hide the evidence’ routine, but the lads aren’t quick enough to prevent the driver swallowing his. Back in Reading with Daz and Rosie, who pull over someone who is not as ‘old enough’ to drive as he wants to be. Though the choice of stopping location wouldn’t make them particularly popular as it’s right in the middle of a main road and no one can pass them! Once moved (to double yellows! Bad Daz!) time to sort out who he is. Or rather isn’t. Given that Rosie’s met him before,

In Milton Keynes again, Simon and Chris are taking part in a crackdown on drugs – but are called in to help Mark and Huey (TV-34) chase down a fleeing car. They use the warren of streets on an estate to try to cut off the car – only for the occupants to decamp. They spot someone, lose him, nearly run down some colleagues(!) before Simon heads out on foot before they finally nab their suspect in a garden hiding behind a hedge! Charlie and Ruffy, nearing the end of their shift, wait hopefully outside a Milton Keynes takeaway in hopes of grabbing some cheap nosh at closing time. They’re then foiled by a call for assistance to find some lads suspected of nicking beer from an offy earlier in the evening. One of them claims he couldn’t have nicked the beer because he’s a Muslim! In which case, what is all that beer doing in the car, then… Rosie and Daz use their ‘Batmobile’ in foggy Reading to track down car-key burglars. They’ve abandoned their stolen car and are trying to use a taxi to escape. Until they spot the police presence and attempt to hide in gardens. Though they can’t hide from the Bat Crew. Welcoming back a familiar face, Pat returns to Slough to pay a visit to a man who’s been performing a ‘pay your speeding fine for you’ service. For a steep fee, naturally. That’s not all – the guy’s suspected of Identity fraud and people trafficking, too. Chris, Yorkie and Dixie are elsewhere visiting all his properties – and find one or two trafficked people – one of whom only arrived the day before. Sharp eyed viewers may spot Conrad lurking in the background during the raid. Chris and Simon are back in Milton Keynes to execute a warrant to search for illicit subject – Keep those truckers rollin’ Lester! No one’s home, but there’s plenty of speed lurking in the most disgusting kitchen appliance since that oven Carl encountered in series two. Watch out for the musical interlude… Simon and Chris are out again and i

Chris and Simon are on another falconry job in Aylesbury to nab a dealer who hides his stash down a country lane. They stop the car abruptly and it takes three of them to get cuffs on the passenger! They’re carrying a rather startling amount of money, and they eventually find the stash (of weed) in the bushes. Now in Milton Keynes, Chris and Simon step in to disrupt what looks like a drugs deal between two youngsters. One of them just happens to be a passer by, while the other is very good natured at first – until they find the bag of a white substance which he claims is ‘milkshake powder’. Trouble is, even if the ‘milk powder’ is innocuous, he was intending to sell it as ‘drugs’ and could end up being done for deception! Back on Falconry duty in Aylesbury, Chris and Simon are at the forefront of another raid on a dealer. Charlie and Ruffy are also in tow to assist with the search, which reveals all the paraphernalia of a dealer – except drugs. Despite this, the appalling arsenal of weapons upstairs is a jackpot in itself – especially the taser… Charlie, Ruffy, Chris and Simon are out in Aylesbury again to find the dealer who wasn’t at the house they raided earlier. They disrupt a deal and quickly prevent their captive from swallowing a his potentially lethal purchase. Elsewhere, colleagues spring on the dealer as soon as they know that our guys have found the drugs. Charlie is out on duty with Roma on an ANPR job and find a guy on a moped which shows no keeper, or tax. He doesn’t have insurance either – using the ‘it’s in the pipeline’ excuse on both counts. He is also intent on fibbing spectacularly about who he is, and whether he’s even got a license at all. Quite how it was possible for him to confuse himself with his own brother is another interesting question. Highly frustrating, especially as Charlie and Roma end up missing out on a high octane chase! Off to Bracknell now, rejoining Rosie and Daz as they try to

Rosie and Daz are in Reading following a squeak on their on-board ANPR over a high-performance Audi with a dodgy numberplate. It flees – demonstrating just how high-performance it is; which is, very. Despite this, he can’t outrun them on wheels and ditches the car. Time to call in the chopper – but to no avail. While the search goes on, Rosie has a great time trying to load a car onto a recovery lorry with one of its tyres off. Charlie and Ruffy (in-car video only) are racing after a crazily speeding biker on the M1 who has no idea that they’re behind him, despite their lights and siren. Once he spots them, he indicates he’ll stop by waving his hand – and he’s still going at over 100! Chris and Simon are in Milton Keynes on a mission to disrupt drug deals. They park up behind a promising vehicle. The driver claims to have no license on him – but he has; shame it’s forged! Searches of the passengers reveal nothing on one of them, but the other has attempted to hide his stash of crack down the back of the seat. Simon is with new face Mark Thornley and out and about in Milton Keynes. Their in-car ANPR squeaks over an uninsured driver. Why do these people claim to be insured when the coppers can just ring the insurers up and ask? They are happy to go to his house to see the certificate; calling the guy’s bluff. He produces his insurance documents, which look legit until Simon calls the company again – finding that the guy’s taken out a policy that’s been cancelled because he’s not paid for it. The car was seized – then crushed. Charlie and Ruffy are in Aylesbury where they stop a dangerous young driver who is, amazingly, driving with his mates back from a funeral of three other mates who were killed in a car crash a matter of days previously. He’s only had his license 8 months, and he’s already had a crash himself! Chris and Simon are also in Aylesbury looking for a biker who’s been tearing around an estate. When they sto

Chris and Simon are in Milton Keynes, keeping an eye on some shady characters around a phone booth. A quick check reveals that they are following a known pattern of congregating at the booth, before heading off to another location, which (coincidentally) has a drug problem. Someone drives up to the shady characters, hands something over, then screeches off like the proverbial bat out of hell when Chris appears on the horizon. Though quite why he looks so mystified at being dragged out of a car following a high octane pursuit is the biggest question. Possibly because he’s trying to swallow the evidence…who’s the lucky devil who’s going to have to pick up a sim card covered in spit, then? Still in Milton Keynes, still with Chris and Simon, following up on a report of driver with no license, insurance or anything. Driving is clearly not the man’s strong point, stalling twice in quick succession before slamming into a kerb as he’s stopped. Not surprisingly, he only has a provisional license. Car seizure time! Roma and Dixie are in Reading following up a report of a crashed car on slippy, wet roads. It’s a ‘keys burgled’ nicked car, and the occupants have fled. They’ve actually gone home – a fact discovered by a dog. They are in bed – but not in pyjamas! They’re also a bit too damp to be believable; and, as for the electronics lurking under the mattress… Charlie and Ruffy pull over a car that they consider to be uninsured and untaxed. Not surprisingly it’s another car that’s ‘just been bought’. He also claims to be from Banbury – in Somerset. How unfortunate it is that Ruffy lived in Somerset for 18 years! Then he tries Barnstaple…which is, of course, in Devon. Despite insisting he has tax and insurance, he never did come back when dispatched to his mate’s house to pick up the certificate. Chris and Simon are back in Slough, extolling the virtues of being in an unmarked car – and each other’s talents – until Chr

Ronnie and Roma, out on patrol in Slough, when they pass a car whose occupant hastily hides something. He claims he’s had nothing to drink, despite having booze breath and a can sitting provocatively in the passenger footwell. The car may not be moving, but the keys are in the ignition so, in legal terms, he’s in charge of the car. Once back at the nick, however, the reading on the intoximeter causes jaws to drop in astonishment! Incredibly, they stopped him again the following week, and he was almost as bad again… Ronnie and Roma are back in Slough again, and have spotted a suspicious car. They pull it, and find the Polish driver also has ‘booze breath’. He fails a breath test, once it’s established that he should be blowing through the tube, not sucking. Once back at the nick, however, through the assistance of an interpreter on the other end of a telephone, the intoximeter clears him as he’s only blown 34. But all is not as it seems – as he’s giving a false name, ‘cos he’s wanted for other offences anyway! Charlie and Ruffy are in Bicester, and are stopped by supermarket staff, who tell them that someone’s just fled with a load of CDs. Pausing only to allow Ruffy to put his hi-vis anorak on and swap seats with Charlie (I know, I know – it’s a continuity error!), they give chase. When stopped, the man seems quite astonished at the charge while Charlie’s cuffing him, though there’s not a lot he can say about the ridiculously large numbers of security boxes in the back of his car. Or the rigged bag that can block the signal from alarm tags, or the fact that he’s not actually legal to drive – or the huge haul of nicked stuff he’s got hidden in the boot! Yorkie and Dixie are in Reading looking for a car being driven by a man who has just completed a disqualification – but hasn’t actually got around to sorting his license out. Ironically, it was their work that got him the ban in the first place! He has managed to get in

Lloydy and Jim are out in the country hunting down a suspected burglar. Their attempt to block him fails and the driver is off down the pavement like a weasel on speed – only to come face to face with another unit around the corner. Much shock and awe ensues. Fortunately they’ve got the right man – given the damage to his car! Chris and Simon are in Newport Pagnell, also looking for a pair of opportunistic ‘walk in’ thieves. They call in Mark and Huey to cover the back of the lucky bungalow (with a green door, no less – cue another vocal rendition from The Nose!) before walking over – all decked out with the enforcer! Rosie and Daz are in Mortimer to take part in a raid on a guy who has one or two bladed weapons. What a shame there’s no one in – though they really should have tidied up before they left. All those blades, drugs and potentially stolen goods… Chris and Simon are in Aylesbury and see some odd goings on in a car park. It would appear that two youngsters are in the midst of puffing a spliff or two on the quiet. Shame about the rest of the skunk in the cannabis grinder that they didn’t declare! Charlie and Ruffy are also in Aylesbury pick up an ANPR ding stating no tax. Apparently the driver is ‘working on it’. Unfortunately the shifty looking behaviour of the passenger piques Charlie’s interest as there some drugs ‘paraphernalia’ in the car leading to a trip to the nick for a strip search. Back with the driver, and there’s issues over insurance (surprise, surprise) leading to seizure of the car. Rosie and Daz are in Reading and find a car in a known red light district occupied by a couple with the light on. Bizarrely, the woman has a screwdriver and a knife in her handbag, but she most definitely doesn’t want any closer searches – which is odd given that she’s not carrying anything. But her reluctance becomes clear when it turns out she’s wanted for breach of a suspended sentence

Rosie and Daz are in Reading for Operation Fanta (seriously!) looking for burglars who steal car keys to get at the increasingly hard-to-nick cars. Called in to help with a chase, they head off after a 4X4 which is able to get over the sump breaker in the road, when they can’t. Ouch! Back in Slough – Simon and Chris are looking for people pinching stuff out of parked cars. After an easy stop, a suspicious vehicle (fortuitously borrowed off a Mr John Thomas). It squeaks on databases, but the passenger doesn’t, so a visit to the nick is required for identification (mainly because he’s a convicted burglar who’s escaped from prison!). There’s also a nice little assortment of tools in the boot, not to mention broken glass in the footwell. As for the improvised balaclavas… Chris and Simon are now in Bicester following up an ANPR ding for no insurance. The driver claims he’s covered on his dad’s insurance, though he can’t remember which company it is. But then, given that he’s given a false name, it’s a moot point. Unfortunately, the passengers are forced to walk home – including three little kiddies. We return to Reading to rejoin Rosie and Daz, who have to deal with a guy who’s been threatening a pub landlord with an axe. Apparently he’s very drunk – but fed up with loud music from the pub due to noisy lock-ins. The fact that there haven’t actually been any lock-ins probably doesn’t really help his case. Simon and Chris are being very mobile tonight! They’re now in Bletchley and have spotted a stolen car with their ANPR. Proving the virtues of unmarked patrol cars, they stop the car in a car park without the driver having noticed them there. Amazingly, the thief owns up immediately without as much as a squeak. Everything seems to be going swimmingly, until the thief develops a sudden attack of severe pain and requires an ambulance. Amazingly, it took a week to not find anything wrong with him… Jeez – they’re busy!

Charlie and Ruffy are off to catch a thief in Bracknell – someone who’s pinched some alloy wheels and thrown them into the back of a stolen convertible. Using much vaunted ‘local knowledge’ they find the car. The wheels have been left lying around, but they spot the suspect and head after him – Charlie on foot and Ruffy in the car, which is why, when he takes to his heels too, he’s able to go tearing past his winded colleague and catch the suspect. Cheat. Ever generous, Charlie even finds some suitable reading material for the prisoner while he waits in the cell – though whether he really wanted to read about botched boob jobs is debatable… Iestyn and Boris are in Windsor at stupid o’clock looking for a man reportedly trying to break into a car. Boris stays put as the suspect – shirtless and almost as hairy as Boris – is questioned. He’s immensely pie-eyed, and apparently thinks the car is his, though he doesn’t seem to know where he is. Things take a strange turn when he demands to be arrested, but makes no sense. Matters are resolved when his worried spouse reports him missing – having run off from a relative’s home for reasons best left to his own boozy confusion… Charlie and Ruffy are still in Bracknell, looking into the matter of a man acting suspiciously near some parked cars. Charlie opts for a drugs search as the area is a known dealing spot, while Ruffy homes in on the ‘looking into the parked cars’ thingy. A search reveals a screwdriver secreted in his layers of clothing. One change of name later, they discover he’s known for nicking from cars. His compliance lasts right up to his arrival in custody and starts claiming he’s got needles in his clothing, which just leads to a full on search in a cell. Back in Slough, Charlie and Ruffy come across a passenger not wearing his seatbelt, so they pull up behind the car as it, coincidentally, draws up at the owner’s home. For some reason, the driver takes immense of

Simon and JK are in Amersham to assist with a raid on a suspected drug dealer. They’re going in mob handed – with two other Tango Victor teams and the drug squad. The suspect is, not surprisingly, displeased at their arrival, but is hastily arrested while his flat is raided. Cue the usual, in depth searches, which turn up some digital scales and some cocaine. In Reading with Rosie and Daz, coming to the end of their shift, are called in to assist with a driver who is both banned and not supposed to be in Reading. He’s fled on foot and is now lurking somewhere in alleyways. He’s found, but manages to get away while they’re trying to get the cuffs on and disappears into the night. Daz thinks he’s found the guy, so they head back into the back yards and, one horrifying outside toilet later, discover him hiding behind a shed which he climbs over to get away. In her eagerness to stop him, Rosie throws her torch at him! Fortunately, Jet the dog tracks him down to a different outside toilet. Charlie and Ruffy are near Maidenhead behind a bloke yakking on his mobile phone who was so busy with his conversation that he didn’t notice he’d barged past them. One ‘Follow me’ sign later, he is pulled to the side of the road and offers the excuse that his ‘handheld’ equipment broke yesterday. Ruffy offers him the choice of fixed penalty or a Magistrate. He chooses the former. Had it been a few months later, it would’ve been £60 and points. Bah. Lloydy and Jim are in Slough on patrol and find themselves behind a car which dings their ANPR over PNC markers. Intriguingly, the driver is able to hand over his passport as identification. Since he’s a known user, he is searched – but clean, so Lloydy goes through the car and find a wrap lurking down the back of the passenger seat, much to her distress when she’s arrested for possession of it. Not being able to prove one way or the other, they nick the driver too – and find a second wrap. The girl

Ruffy and Charlie are in Aylesbury on the look out for a female drug dealer. Charlie catches up with her and an apparent customer, and they’re both detained for a drugs search, much of Charlie’s explanation being given with a pen between his teeth. Back at the nick, the lady is found to have hidden her stash in the plastic case used to contain a Kinder Surprise Egg toy. The bloke also has some, but the explanation about where she had her stash leads to much embarrassment and giggling during the piece to camera… Charlie and Ruffy are now in Bracknell and find themselves behind a van with a very odd looking number plate. The tax is out of date, but the number plate is also interesting as it’s got bits of tape all over it to change it – which resembles a legal vehicle in Sunderland; but is actually the numberplate of an untaxed van…there’s no insurance either so it’s getting seized! The botch job might have passed muster with an ANPR van, but there’s no fooling Charles and Rufus. Iestyn is patrolling Windsor and, sans Boris, assists with a call to some boy racers messing about in a Multi-storey car park. The lads are not impressed with the uniformed gatecrashers, and remonstrate in the noisiest, most ‘young-idiot-out-to-look-big-in-front-of-his-mates’ way possible. The result is a pointless ruck on the floor followed by a trip to the nick. Then arrested guy’s brother turns up and seems to be even more of a young-idiot-out-to-look-big-in-front-of-his-mates. In the end, three of them got section fived. Morons. Charlie and Ruffy are on the M4 when a bloke on a motorbike zips by on the inside and cheerfully continues to race along on the inside lane. He’s on a conspicuous, bright blue Harley, but our doughty heroes can’t get past anyone even with their siren and lights on, so they lose him. Fortunately, they’ve warned colleagues further ahead on the Motorway, and they pull the bloke, so Ruffy’s able to deal with him after all. Iest

Lloydy and Jim are in Slough on Falconry duty. A pusher’s been disturbed and fled on a bike, and they’re soon on his trail. Lloydy manages to stop the pedalled flight by crashing into him and bowling the pair of them over! A quick search reveals no drugs, so Jim heads off with a local beat officer to see if he can find any hiding places along the escape route. This also proves fruitless, unlike the strip search back at the nick where his mixture of wraps wrapped in a hanky falls out of his underpants. Rosie and Daz are on tour in Slough, and pull a car that their ANPR suggests has no tax. No one in the car has a full license either, so there’s no insurance. So the car’s going to be seized (leaving the occupants with a six mile walk home) – but it turns out that the car is implicated in a string of thefts of wheels from cars parked in a local hospital. Interestingly the car has three jacks in it, though the lads are telling the truth (for once) when they explain that they’ve only just bought it. Watch out for Rosie’s one-woman impersonation of the Road Wars theme at the end of the sequence! Yorkie and Dixie are patrolling in Reading and end up behind two kids on a motorbike, neither of whom are wearing helmets. They are cheeky beggars who offer nothing more than obscene gestures when Yorkie attempts a stop, but the chase has to be aborted rather than risk the two pillocks being injured in a crash. The same thing happens the next day, but the day after, they come across them by chance – but this time on pushbikes. Amazingly, one of them has previously sought Yorkie’s help after being beaten up! There’s gratitude for you. Rosie and Daz are in Reading and spot a woman wanted on recall to prison for not attending parole meetings. She has fled with her boyfriend, but a helpful witness advises that she will be in said boyfriend’s flat – in the kitchen. A search does indeed reveal that’s exactly where she is – hiding under the sink. Chr

Yorkie and Dixie are in Reading on a Burglary exercise when they’re called to a break-in. They hear that the suspects have made off in a blue Saxo and commence the hunt. A local unit spots them lurking, which leads to a spot of shock and awe. There’s some stolen property in the vehicle from the property that they’d just fled from – good call. Still in Reading, a bunch of young men make the foolish mistake of racing past Yorkie and Dixie while hurling abuse. They are brusquely stopped and expected to account for themselves. The passengers are gobby and trying to out-impress each other. It appears that this is normal, as the car is flagged for antisocial behaviour, the driver being too chicken to stop his passengers from being idiots. Worse still – it’s his mum’s car, and she’s going to keep on being stopped now because the car is flagged! Simon and JK are patrolling in Aylesbury when Simon notices a car with a whopper crack in the windscreen. While they’re dealing with that in a multi-storey, a car park attendant asks JK to investigate what he thinks might be dealing going on in one of the toilets. They stop the two suspects and carry out a drugs search. One is carrying a wrap of heroin; the other isn’t, but admits being a user, so he was able to go; unlike the other. Yorkie and Dixie are listening in on a chase through Reading with commentary by Rosie. A bloke has nicked a bike and is trundling sedately across a playing field with Rosie in tow on foot. What he doesn’t know is that Dixie has stationed their car at the proposed exit, so Yorkie is waiting for him by the gate. Rosie is dead impressed, and does a nice little dance to celebrate not having to do all the paperwork. Lloydy and Jim are travelling on the A40 in Oxford and get a hit on their ANPR – as usual there’s no insurance. The guy’s just bought it a few days ago and is ‘in the process of changing it over’ from his previous vehicle. Which is never going to happen a

Out in Reading with Rosie and Daz on patrol, when she spots a car with a broken window. The driver seems to be taking an endless amount of time to stop, and a pursuit ensues, briefly. For some reason, the driver seems amazed at being stopped, and it appears that his befuddlement is booze-related. He’s known to Rosie, who’s previously stopped him for no insurance. With Lloydy and Jim alongside, Daz breathalyses the driver, who claims that Daz is the guy who blew in the tube! There’s also the concern that the car’s nicked, given that the window’s broken, and the driver seems eager to shout something across to his passenger, while insisting he’s only recently bought it. The car hasn’t been reported stolen despite the smashed window and ignition; but the driver’s failed the breath test and still hasn’t got insurance. Plus he’s out of prison on license. He fails the breath test, and the car was nicked. And they did it so quickly that the owner hadn’t even discovered his loss! In Windsor with Iestyn, Boris still in the van, taking a spot of time to assist with public order issues on a busy night. He’s quickly employed in helping to subdue a reveller who decided it would be a clever thing to try to deck a local officer. With reinforcements arriving, the inevitable section 5 follows. Rosie and Daz are now in Bracknell, following a van driving ‘erratically’ after emerging from a pub carpark. The computer also reports no tax. The van stops without incident (other than hitting the kerb) but the guy reeks of booze, so out comes the breathalyser. He’s familiar with the machine, because he’s still on a ban for drink drive! One failure later, he’s off to the nick for an evidential test. Being only a little over, he’s allowed to offer a sample of urine for testing, which backs up the failure, and his ban is extended even longer. Dixie and Yorkie are patrolling in Reading, and pull over a car to request that the occupants pick up the litter

The team is in Maidenhead on ANPR duty, Lloydy and Jim follow behind a car that’s pinged the system, and manage to get to him in time to notice he’s been ‘fiddling with something’ in the car. Suspecting drugs, and possibly even dealing, the search begins. Jim suspects that a stash has gone down the guy’s trousers, so they go back to the nick for some privacy. One stash of ‘e’ later, they’re off to the custody suite to process him for dealing as it’s a sufficient quantity to be dealt. This is the second time he’s been done for dealing the stuff, and his eagerness to call his girlfriend raises further suspicions to the point that a house search follows – of the guy’s parents’ home. They are absolutely innocent, but the son most certainly is not as they find even more drugs, money and a set of scales in his bedroom. Simon is patrolling solo in Milton Keynes and spots a car whose occupants are acting oddly. Seeing the camera in the car, the guy gives the cameraman ‘the finger’, but Simon is more concerned about his lack of insurance than his gestures. Out come all the standard excuses, one by one. Just bought the car (check), not got his documents but can produce them (check), insured on a trade policy (check). There’s also the fact that he’s trying to pretend he’s his brother, and he’s only got a provisional license – next excuse is ‘in dispute over said license as he should have a full one’. It does him no good; Simon is seizing that car. Out in Reading with Yorkie and Dixie. A car catches their eye, and they pull it – when asked if the occupants have cannabis, they say not, until Dixie finds a joint; at which point the lads see the light and advise of the veritable shop-stock of cannabis the passenger is carrying, along with deal bags and a grinder. The guy has already been in trouble for drugs, and was handed a suspended sentence only the day before! The pair are arrested, and the cannabis carrier reacts gruesomely b

Rosie and Daz are out in Reading looking for burglars, and head to a BT exchange where a van is being broken into live on CCTV. Pretty much every unit nearby is converging on it – though the Bat Car has local knowledge on its side so our duo get there first. There’s an alarm going, and ladders leaning against a wall, but the suspect has vanished. The chopper’s been called in, but there’s a van parked a few streets away which has a history of burglary attached to it. En route, eagle-eyed Rosie spots a different van with someone lying under it! He claims he’s sleeping under the van as he’s been chucked out by his missus; but, interestingly, his keys open up the van they were looking for; which happens to be stuffed with cables nicked from BT! Now in Slough with Lloydy and Roma, out and about to disrupt drug activity. Their interest is piqued by a group of young men lurking behind a parade of shops, particularly as the lads are able to pull into an alcove more or less out of sight. There is perhaps no surprise that a few of them are carrying some cannabis, and the possibility of getting a street caution rather than a trip to the nick leads to some startling honesty as stashes are disclosed. Apart from the ones they’ve forgotten about, of course. One of them manages to embarrass himself briefly as his trousers drop, but the worse outcome is that he’s too young for a street caution and will have to be dealt with down the nick instead. Whoops. Back in Reading, and Lloydy is back with Jim again, just coming to the end of their shift, until Jim spots a kid being carried on a moped who has decided not to bother with a helmet. The ‘driver’ claims he thought that passengers didn’t need insurance! But the other concern is his Section 59 warning, in that he’s used his moped ‘antisocially’. There are issues over whether or not it’s expired, but he doesn’t seem to be aware whether or not he’s got points on his provisional license. Whether he h

Rosie and Daz are out in Reading on a joint operation targeting burglars. They’re called in to chase up a car that’s been nicked from outside a house; the driver of which has crashed it into some bollards. They’ve attempted to move it, given up and fled. With immensely limited descriptions, the team don’t hold out much hope of finding them, but hole up in hopes of catching them out. The tactic pays off as they spot a possible suspect, who they leave with a dog handler and chase after another who vanishes into the night; so they do swapsies with the dog handler and process their first find, who turns out to be the car owner’s son! Lloydy and Jim are in Windsor on the lookout for thieves, but instead encounter a poorly driven car and a motorbike apparently using a car park as a drag strip. Not only that, the car has a Section 59 warning on it – so it’s been driven antisocially in the past. The driver doesn’t seem to have accepted that another one could lead to his car being impounded. Incredibly, while he has a full license, he’s only had it for three months and already managed to get a warning. As he was on private land, they can’t issue another warning, so he’s a lucky lad – he was at risk of six points had he been on a public road, and that would have meant the loss of the car. Lloydy is in Slough with Roma, patrolling an estate. They’re flagged down by a woman who tells them that kids are firing a BB gun out of an upstairs window of a nearby house, so they head in to investigate. The ‘gun’ looks a bit like a ‘raygun’, but the fun element stops there, as the kids are causing real annoyance to the neighbours. They should be at school, but one of them ‘has got a day off’ and the other ‘didn’t want to go’. It’s not an airgun, so they are allowed to keep it – but a flea is firmly applied to the ears. Lloydy is now back with Jim again, and they’re chasing after a driver that’s racing down a dual carriageway outs