Road Wars

Charlie and new partner Mish Ryan are out in Slough and are alerted by their ANPR to a parked up Volvo with a bit of a criminal history, so they park up and wait for someone to return to it, as they suspect that the driver may well not be properly documented. The planned stop doesn’t, however, go according to plan as the driver decides he doesn’t want a word – but, being in a cul de sac, he’s had to flee down a footpath and gets a bit of a headstart, leaving Charlie to guess where he’s gone. By chance they catch up head to head, and the Volvo reverses away from them at speed, barging backwards past anything in the way. This is followed by a u-turn over a central reservation, before nearly hitting the driver of a car he’s only just banged into! The chase moves onto the Britwell at which point things go totally unaccording to plan when Charlie reverses into a parked car. Brian and Jake are in Tilehurst looking for someone apparently on the loose with a samurai sword. Astonishingly, at the scene, he finds officers dealing with a youngster who, overeager to hurl missiles from an upstairs window of his home, has accidentally managed to throw himself out, too – requiring the assistance of paramedics. The apparent swordsman is still inside the house, requiring careful planning for the next move. The door goes in, and shielded officers storm the house. All plans turn out to be unnecessary as the bloke is flat out in a drunken sleep upstairs. Dutch courage rules… Lloydy and Jason Evans are in Reading following a car going up a one way street the wrong way. Out comes the breathalyser – but before they can use it they have to listen to an astonishing saga about a robbery. Not that it makes any difference as he blows red anyway. Despite a long wait at custody to get on the evidential breathalyser, he still blew nearly twice the limit, so Lord alone knows what he was when they stopped him. Lloydy is back with Jim in Slough looking for a stolen BMW spotte

Simon and Conrad are near Slough, and head off to assist a bus driver under attack nearby, with a robbery in progress. They arrive with superb timing and manage to snaffle the thief as he attempts to flee, all without disturbing Mr Hills’s shades! The suspect complains that he hasn’t done anything wrong – though the shaken bus driver says otherwise. The bus has a wide range of smashed windows and mirrors but, fortunately, no one has been hurt. Though the suspect doesn’t take at all kindly to being taken to the nick… Helen is in Maidenhead and is called to the scene of a road crash in case Bonnie is needed to chase down any fleeing drivers. There is no need, however, as the driver – drunk, of course, has trapped herself in her car by slamming it between two traffic signs. Astonishingly, despite being trapped in a totalled car with the possibility of petrol vapour all around, the woman actually attempts to light a cigarette – and protests furiously when they prevent her as she’s ‘in shock’. After wresting several lighters away from her, Helen withdraws to allow her to be cut out of her wrecked car. Obviously assuming that refusing to provide any specimen for testing will get her out of a drink drive charge – she is, happily, proved wrong as refusal carries exactly the same penalty! In Gerrards Cross – a bunch of Proactives, led by JK, are helping a range of officers to bust a whopper outdoor cannabis farm and factory. In they go – nicking one suspect as he attempts to leave the site, but another flees, so a search begins across the plantation. There is no doubt whatsoever what is being grown on the site, though it’s very well hidden, despite being in such a crowded area of the country. It’s the biggest such plantation JK has ever seen! Anna McShane and Tony ‘Griff’ Griffiths are in Aylesbury, where the dealer from the previous drugs bust is being held in temporary accommodation – except he’s escaped from the portakabin and

Simon and Conrad are out and about in Slough when they recognise the driver of a car they’ve been advised as being wanted for drugs offences (though apparently looking like Boris Becker is not a crime), so they turn around and head off after him, with Charlie and Mish heading in for backup. They lose the car briefly, but CCTV find it parked up, so they settle down to wait for him to come back to it and drive off again. The stop itself is – initially – pretty uneventful, as the driver gives himself up at once. His two female passengers, on the other hand, make things extremely eventful, when they loudly object to being filmed and decide to have a go at Simon as he won’t let them drive the car away – primarily because they’re uninsured to do so. Fortunately Charlie, Mish, Lloydy and Jim are all on hand to assist. Waller and Flipper are in Reading coming to the end of their shift – but come to the assistance of an Inspector who has pulled over a car whose driver has no license or insurance, and is suspected of not being totally honest with his details. It’s all very funny to the lad, until he gets nicked, of course – at which point he starts fighting. Waller and Flipper are, however, ready for this and swiftly have him on the ground in cuffs. Flipper is rewarded for his swiftness of mind with the chance to drive the total shed of a car back to the nick… Brian and Jake are out and about in Reading, and are called in to track down a man who’s fled from a pub after being spotted by officers investigating him for breaking into his own girlfriend’s house. The chase heads into a local bus garage, where they corner the guy – who proceeds to jump over a fence with a 10 ft drop the other side! Brian is then held up as Jake has taken it upon himself to try and find another way round independently. Fortunately, the bloke doesn’t get away – he’s busted his ankle… Still in Reading, Brian is helping to deal with the fallout of a wake that’s

Charlie and Mish are in Bracknell and head in to assist with a drugs raid – along with anyone else in the team who is available. Except for the point where they run out of petrol and have to go and fill up, and then get stuck in traffic despite the sirens. Finally, everyone gets together – but it’s too late as the suspects have already driven off. Teaming up with Roma and new boy Kev Murphy with Flipper lurking on the sidelines, they move in, but have to wait again, as the suspects are now out and about on foot. As the suspected dealer has been known to attempt to swallow her stash, they want to get in quickly and hard – and boy, do they! The car has quite an impressive collection of needles, but not much in the way of actual drugs. But then, the driver doesn’t have much in the way of driving documents, either. Anna and Griff are in Aylesbury and are immediately called in to assist Conrad and Mark who are involved in a drugs search of a couple of likely lads. All goes smoothly, including the discovery of some cannabis on the suspect, but things then go a bit wonky when he is asked to remove his shoes – which he won’t do because he’s ‘got rights’ – which apparently state they can’t take his shoes off in a public place. No probs – they’ll just do it in the station instead. Unlike his mate, who is more co-operative, despite accusing Conrad of tickling him. Waller and Flipper are in Reading and get called to an incident which is claimed to involve a knife. Paramedics waiting, they go in first to assess the situation as the ARV aren’t on scene yet. Being under strict instructions not to get too close, they attempt to check the likely suspect from the car, and thus ensues a dance between suspect and vehicle which must look astonishingly odd on CCTV. They can’t tell whether the guy has a knife or not – despite his constantly putting his hands in and out of his pockets – and behaving generally like he has. Eventually, he obeys Flipper

Conrad and Simon are in Slough, and head off to assist a youth who has been violently assaulted to force him to relinquish his bike. The report has come in from a good samaritan with whom the victim has sought refuge and so they head there first. It looks like he’s had a pretty nasty blow to the face, and a possible broken nose. He is able to give a description of the bike, along with some money and a mobile. Armed with descriptions, they head off in search of the ‘oiks’, and it doesn’t take too long to find some likely suspects. The lads know they’ve been spotted, so they flee – but not before hastily hiding the bike in a stairwell. One of the suspects, however, is still lurking, and mines the usual depths of bad language and clichéd insults when Simon arrests him. The others might have escaped TV31, but not a local unit called in to assist with the search. Nice. Lloydy and Jim are in Burnham are out to execute a warrant to arrest a man wanted for armed robbery, which requires kitting up to use the enforcer. Lloydy is the lucky man in pads tonight. The front door gives easily, and people pile in – straight into another door which is much tougher to get through. In the end they resort to smashing the glass panes. – only to find that there’s no one in. There is no such thing as giving up, however, so Charlie and Mish are called in to assist with the arrest of the suspect, who is at a local doctor’s surgery. Not only that – Waller and Flipper are also lurking to help; but the local units get there first. Astonishingly, for bloke with a lot of form for violent robbery, the suspect takes one look at all the coppers and gives up without so much as a squeak. Everyone is on the lookout for a fast Golf V6 whose occupants have been spending the day razzing around stealing from other motorcars; and have managed, so far, to evade the law. That is, until Mish and Charlie spot them on Langley High Street outside a takeaway. Charlie is just a squeak too

Conrad and Simon are in Taplow, but heading post haste towards Reading in search of a ‘vamoose’ car (i.e. stolen using keys burgled from the owner’s house) which has been left parked there. They pair up with Roma and Kev to await the return of the thieves in order to capture them before recovering the vehicle. Fortunately, they don’t have to wait long, and pile in to nab all but one of the thieves, who vaults over a high fence while Dave Jones helps his dog over to find any possible trail, despite the heavy rain. Needless to say, the humour flies in thick and fast about the high fence, as we all recall the last time Simon tried to vault one! Waller and Flipper head to Reading to help deal with a bloke who has threatened his ex-girlfriend with a knife. The threat of the knife is real, so an ARV is deployed – taser on hand – to ensure he doesn’t use it on anyone. The threat of 50,000 volts is enough to persuade the ex-boyfriend to capitulate immediately. Though he brings his bad attitude to the fore again when he spots the camera. Apparently he thinks that it’s there to film him. Tristan is out with Bella, who is happy to demonstrate her love of public order work for the camera. Showing off over, they head out to Slough to look for a happily blatant shoplifter and it doesn’t take long to find him. Charlie and Mish head in to assist, which is just as well, as the bloke has a pile of drunk mates with him who are eager to intervene on their colleague’s behalf. This is, naturally, bread and butter for Bella – but assistance is probably more important. Once everyone arrives, things settle down again. It turns out that the shoplifter has eaten the evidence – a packet of crisps. Though the drunken pals are still loitering while Tristan has a search, which gives Bella yet more opportunity to have a jolly good bark. Charlie and Mish respond to a call in Slough to pick up someone who has a similar name to the Crisp Shoplifter from a few days back.

Charlie and Mish are in Slough in conjunction with Lloydy and Jim to help stop a pursuit. Charlie’s a bit lost, but this is less of a problem as the driver has abandoned the car and is now on foot – therefore being much slower. Anna is able to help them catch up with things once they finally make it to the scene, while Jim and Lloydy work on searching for the guy who is now, reportedly on the tracks of the main London-West Wales line, while everyone else, on the other side of the railway checks gardens. Much racing back and forth ensues as the suspect hops from one side of the line to the other, despite there being a high speed train due. As they are forbidden to join him on the tracks, Lloydy keeps watch from up a tree to see where the guy will emerge, sending off to a likely spot – but turns out to be perfectly placed to make the arrest himself – and viewers get the chance to play ‘count the bleeps’. Answers on a postcard, please. Charlie is now with Conrad, and they’re in Chalvey where they spot a roughly dressed couple walking along, one of whom is carrying a load of copper piping under her arm. As scrap metal is commanding high prices, this looks rather suspicious, so they stop the pair. There is something of a language barrier to cross over, as the couple are Russian, though Conrad is able to elicit that they claim they found the copper in a pile of rubbish. As there is no reason to doubt this, they are allowed on their way, though it is likely that Charlie would have preferred it if the couple had had some mints in their rucksack rather than cider. We join another new face – long standing dog handler Andy Burke. He and his new dog, Hawk, are out and about. Hawk is inexperienced, but enthusiastic and capable and they’re now in Maidenhead to track a suspected assailant following a punch-up. Hawk catches someone – but it’s an innocent person who has crossed the suspect’s trail. Fortunately, this isn’t a problem as the guy has spotte

Simon and Conrad are in Slough – their patrol is interrupted by a sudden chase of a wanted bilker in a silver Vectra which heads over pavements and the wrong sides of roads as the fleeing driver attempts to get away, coming within an ace of hitting vehicles in all direction. Sooner or later he’s going to come a cropper, and eventually does – fleeing into the night and leaving a nasty prang behind him. The search involves a chopper and Mark who, as the search falters, ends up being called in to help with a totally different wanted man who’s been spotted by a local team also taking part in the search! Not that it mattered in the end as they got the original guy a few days later… Still in Slough, still with Simon and Conrad, an ANPR ding pulls up a rather ancient car which shouldn’t be on the road as it’s got no MOT – it’s also meant to be in Kent, but isn’t. Given the lack of an MOT, it’s likely that it hasn’t got anything else either so they stop it. While Simon does the questioning, Conrad spots the driver hastily dropping something, and the stop turns into a search which turns up some cannabis and something unidentified in a foil pack in the boot. They never did find out what the white stuff was, but apparently the puff was seriously rubbish quality; so not only has he lost his stash – he was ripped off when he bought it, too. Back to Slough again, this time with Tristan and Bella heading off on patrol together. The first call of the night is to a bunch of youths apparently lurking suspiciously around a moped at the back of some shops. A bunch of likely lads claim to have done nothing wrong – but they fit the description and the report makes it clear they’ve been trying to start the moped, so they have to stay. Given that there’s three lads – plus friends – and only one Tristan, the odds are awkward if they want to make trouble, and even with back up, the boys in blue are still outnumbered. While they wait for the van to arri

Daz and Dan are in Reading, and fall in behind a Corsa which pulls an illicit U-turn, causing Dan to pull out a tidy cliché before they try to pull the Corsa. The Corsa driver, however, has other plans and a pursuit ensues. Simon and JK are also in the area, and head in to assist. The fleeing driver doesn’t give a stuff about anything other than getting away, and Dan suspects the vehicle has been stolen. Attempts to lay a stop stick fail as the driver goes a different way, so Dan requests permission to carry out a TPAC once they’re on a suitable road. This turns out not to be necessary as the car flies down a dead end, and the driver flees on foot – hurtling through fences, rather than over them. The passengers, however, weren’t quick enough and have been captured. One of them is only fourteen. The driver, however, has disappeared into the night. Not surprising given that the car is a vamoose. It’s lunchtime in High Wycombe, and Simon and Conrad’s break is interrupted by the appearance of a wanted car which pootles past them. They attempt to remain anonymous in the queue of traffic, but this proves impossible when the car pops into a petrol station, and they have to follow, scaring the driver away. Griff and Anna are ready at a roundabout to pull in front of it – but the driver backs into Simon and Conrad before zipping away at speed and triggering a pursuit before dumping the car and fleeing. This is not a problem for the dog patrol, and the occupants – who turn out to be suspected thieves – are soon collared. Simon and Conrad are back in Slough, working as part of Operation Caveat, looking to catch burglars. A car spikes their ANPR as having no insurance so they head off after it, as it comes back as having been used for a burglary, so they get behind it as it pulls into a drive. The occupants are Romanian, which makes questioning them a challenging affair, and have an interesting heap of bling in the footwell of their car. With Charlie and

Waller and Kev are in Slough on patrol, and are behind a car whose driving leaves a lot to be desired, possibly because he’s been distracted by his girlfriend, who he’s been snogging at the temporary traffic lights. The car pongs of booze, so a breath test is in order – though the passenger locks herself in; apparently she’s scared. Once they get both occupants out, questioning starts, but the girl seems to be getting mega upset, and somehow convinces herself (wrongly) that Kev has agreed to let her go if she talks to him. There are suggestions that the guy deals Crystal Meth, and it’s possible that one or the other of them has hidden some drugs somewhere, but the girl gets so hysterical that it becomes impossible to deal with her. Help arrives in the form of an old friend, as Derek Ingram makes a long awaited return to our screens. As a search needs to be done, female assistance is needed and arrives in the form of Mish, which is just as well, as the girl is now in such a state that she has to be put on the floor. Not even Mish is able to subdue this fit of screaming, and in the end leg restraints are also required to get her into the van. Even now, the fit carries on, and Flipper has no choice but to ride in the van with her just to stop her attempting to hurt herself. It’s only after the search has been completed back at the nick, that things finally calm down – but no one knows what happened, as no one had any drugs at all. Simon and Conrad are out and about in Slough looking for a drug dealer. His car has been spotted by local teams, so they’re in the right place; until their crim radars are spiked by another car – and the computer concurs with their view that its driver is dodgy in the drugs department. Things are further compounded when the driver, who is female, flees. She eventually pulls over, and her car just screeches ‘user’, with foil and clingfilm all over the place; but her attempts to hide her current (quite large) stash in her

Midnight in Reading. Daz and Dan are out on patrol and are called to a possible burglary, as a man as seen people crawling over the roof of a building. A chopper is en route, and the fire brigade are coming in with ladders. The use of the Night Sun reveals all, but we don’t see it as the Lads are called away to deal with some vamoose burglars currently being pursued. Dan recognises the driver of the fleeing car as the kid in the Corsa from Episode 9, and they’re driving along the exact same route as that chase so the stakes are upped as that driver got away. This time, however, the use of a stop stick has unexpected benefits as the driver’s attempt to get round it sends him into a fence right between two metal barriers which means they can’t open the doors and are nabbed by the large gaggle of cops, which includes Dave Jones the Dog Man and old face Jim Lovell. It’s all the same crew again – only this time they’ve got the driver – and he’s only 14! Simon and Conrad are in Windsor, looking out for a blue van which has, quite literally, just been seen at a burglary. They are stopped as they pull into a rather swish drive, and the driver is promptly arrested. He is quickly separated from his passenger to ensure they can’t come up with a hasty story; while the passenger is very excited to discover he’s being filmed on Road Wars, which he watches – apparently for tips! He recognises Simon, but doesn’t do much for brownie points when he likens them to Pat and Carl. Despite everything, the driver still attempts to explain himself in as loud a voice as possible so that his colleague can hear, until Simon promises to march him half a mile up the road if need be. Conrad is the lucky man who has to get the suspect van back to the nick, only to find that it’s almost out of fuel; not that he’s impressed with the quality of the vehicle. That said, it’s full of evidence that connects it, and possibly its occupants, to the burglary. Charlie and M

Tristan is on patrol with Bella – and is called to an incident of criminal damage, in which young man has smashed the window of a young offenders’ rehab centre. Having found the youth concerned, Tristan discovers that the situation is far more serious as the lad has a piece of broken glass in one hand, and knife in the other – and he’s been slicing at himself with the glass. The youth refuses to be placated, and threatens to keep on cutting at himself, before taking exception at the presence of the camera and running at the cameraman. Tristan intervenes immediately, and is forced to use pepper spray – but with the wind blowing in the wrong direction, gets an eyeful himself. As there are weapons being used, he can’t get Bella involved, so she stays in the van while Tristan gives chase on foot. The two meet up again a few streets away, puffed-out cameraman in tow, but the youth is so wound up that he continues to cut himself and demand that the camera be turned off, and Tristan immediately backs off and asks for the filming to stop, so the Cameraman backs off to a safe distance to film at a wide angle out of view as reinforcements arrive and bring matters to a safe conclusion – apart from a bleary-eyed Tristan accidentally attempting to subdue a plain clothes officer in the midst of the ruck. Conrad is on patrol with Dixie in Slough and their antennae are piqued by two youths who are loitering somewhat on a street corner. As they stop the two guys, one of them pops something in his mouth – so they hastily step in to try to prevent whatever has gone in from going any further. Thanks to Conrad’s quick reflexes, two small pieces of wrapped crack are spat out onto the pavement. Further searches reveal huge amounts of paraphernalia, and three more bits of crack in his jacket pocket. The other guy is clean, and allowed on his way, while the drug carrier turns out to be wanted for breaching a drugs order as well. Simon and Conrad are out and about (not

Dan and Daz start their shift in Reading with a drugs raid. With a bit of hasty tooling up, they head to the house, enforcer at the ready, and – seven knocks later – they’re in. The house is clearly a place where drugs are used, though apparently in better nick than the Chaps were expecting, as they commence the incredibly thorough search that will be required. Dixie is upstairs with new colleague Tom French, where they find clear evidence of major drugs use, the floor behind the bed littered with needles and the walls spattered with little flecks of blood. Gross it may be, but the one thing they needed to find – drugs – weren’t in evidence that day. Dave Jones is responding to a disturbance at a petrol station in Reading, where it is reported a group of youths are beating up an elderly gentleman. Things don’t look quite as described when he gets there, however, as the youths are standing some distance away, and the elderly gentleman is brandishing a broom, and has a fire extinguisher at his side. He’s also sozzled, and appears to have pinched a bottle of wine. More to come… Back with Dave at the Petrol Station, where the man is claiming to have been attacked with by a group of youths, while a security guard is claiming he’s actually nicked a bottle of wine. Things are not improved when the man starts hurling racial insults at the youths, who are, it seems, merely standing watching the ‘show’. Dave is deeply unimpressed and cuffs the man under section 5 of the Public Order Act, though the language doesn’t improve, and instead gets worse, so Dave puts him on the floor and demands that he shut up. Things are quite volatile as there is a risk of the youths being provoked – primarily because the guy just won’t stop wibbling, and continues to spout abuse even when back up arrives, and is only stopped by the door of the van being shut. Mish and Flipper are in Slough, and are getting vibes from a battered vehicle with three young peop

Lloydy and Jim are in Slough are heading in to assist Charlie in nicking two guys involved in a drug deal. One of them has, apparently, gone into a cul de sac so they head in that general description armed with a description from Charlie, and start searching gardens. Lots and lots of gardens. As more coppers arrive, Kev spots the suspect and, delicately, attempts to climb over the wall – whereas Huey, being far more direct, hurtles straight through the gate and collars the guy amid a veritable forest of satellite dishes. The suspect has far less gear than they would have expected for a dealer, and claims he was the buyer; so quick checks ensue to be sure he hasn’t ditched anything – which indeed he hasn’t. Back with Kev, now with Waller in Windsor out on patrol patrolling. Waller spots a guy sitting in a car park alone, who Kev recognises as a drug user, so they pay him a quick visit as the hour is late and there is no real reason for him to be there. The guy claims to have no drugs – but does have a knife, which they quickly secure. He’s terribly edgy, though, so Waller searches the car. When they decide to take him back to the nick, at which point he flees – with the handcuffs still on! Needless to say, he doesn’t get far, and a further search reveals several wraps of drugs about his person. Conrad is patrolling in Slough with Dixie, when an ANPR ding alerts them to a car in front of them. The car’s driver has apparently had his license revoked having accrued six points within two years of passing his test. As this relates to the car rather than the individual at the wheel, they pull it over to find out who’s driving it. The driver claims to be legitimate and pulls out a heap of papers to back this up – but this doesn’t include insurance. While waiting for Conrad to check this out, the driver fills time by asking Dixie’s advice on how to switch off his fog lights. Maintenance queries completed, Conrad reveals that the insurance policy

Dan and Daz are out and about in Slough, responding to a call from a local resident who is concerned at what appears to be drug dealing in a local park. Daz takes the cartoony approach, and they sneak up to a fence in true comedy style, with Dan peeking over the top of the fence, and Daz crouching to look through a knot hole. Spotting the suspects, they consider a suitable way of ambushing the group – and watch a deal take place from their hiding place. Rather than attempt to nab the guys in the park, they instead decide to speak to the customers, who are now heading away – Dan on foot, Daz in the car. Speed is essential, as they don’t want the customers to swallow their merchandise – but they quite blatantly do so as the car pulls up, and despite desperate efforts to prevent the purchases heading stomachwards, they don’t manage it. They freely admit to swallowing drugs (heroin, in one case) – but without the evidence, it’s not possible to charge them with possession, so they’re free to go. Dave Jones is patrolling in Reading, when he’s called to an assault on security staff at a club – by a girl. He spots her as soon as he gets to the scene, but she spots him and performs a perfect sidestep, fleeing down the street. Fortunately, to save Dave’s embarrassment at being outrun by a girl, she runs straight into another copper. It’s ANPR time again – and Simon and Conrad are on the streets of Slough picking up suspect vehicles spotted by the van. Dixie and Tom are also busy, dealing with an untaxed moped being seized from someone who just can’t seem to accept that he’s losing it and refuses point blank to hand over the keys. With Simon and Conrad nearby sorting out some illegally tinted windows, and are freely able to help as the youth is so determined not to cooperate that things get ridiculously out of hand, and he has to be arrested. The guy with the tinted windows, on the other hand, is much more cooperative, and is quickly on his wa

Waller and Kev are in Bracknell, on their way to assist with breaking up a whopper fight as there’s no one else available. When they arrive, there’s only a guy with a mop and bucket, who redirects them, and they find a lone officer attempting to break up an ongoing argument. They’ve all been drinking, which has clearly exacerbated matters, and one of them is happy to fight with anyone going – though they’re happy to let him on his way if he just shuts up. Though he won’t, and is at risk of being nicked. Indeed, he is so mouthy that Waller has the pepper spray ready in case the almost inevitable arrest turns nasty. It doesn’t however, but the bloke still won’t shut up and happily insults everyone around him. Things aren’t improved when the arrestee’s brother refuses to submit to a drugs search and is also put in the van, thus transferring the noise from the streets to the nick. Kev and Waller are now out and about near Windsor and get behind someone whose driving is rather erratic. Being the time of night that it is, it’s likely that she’s had a few too many – but she takes an astonishingly long time to stop as she seems intent on getting her car into her drive, and they end up stopping her mere metres from her house. She takes a few attempts at the breathalyser before finally getting the idea and providing a positive sample, and is arrested. She is insistent on getting her car into her drive, but they won’t allow her to do it as she’s now officially unfit, so Kev kindly does the honours. Once back at the nick, however, she’s discovered to be double the limit and will have to spend the rest of the night in a cell. Simon and Conrad are on patrol in Slough and spot a guy driving while on his mobile. Being otherwise occupied, he is not paying much attention to the road and cuts someone up on a roundabout, and is still on the phone as Simon pulls him. The driver is quite convinced that he hasn’t done anything dangerous while on the p

Dan and Daz are in Reading on their way to a pub where a fight has broken out. Details are very sketchy, so they’re not sure what to expect – and find a woman with blood all over her face and a very, very active mouth. Donning gloves, Dan immediately requests an ambulance while he and Dan try very hard to work out how on earth she has got into such a mess. It turns out that her alleged attacker is still in the pub, and she wants him arrested for assault, so Daz heads inside. Meanwhile the paramedics arrive and attempt to deal with the woman, who is still describing what happened, accompanied by a range of descriptive gestures. Things get even more complicated when the victim’s parents turn up and want her taken away! Being overwrought and not a little well-lit, she then lashes out at one of the paramedics and has to be arrested and cuffed. Things don’t improve down at the nick, where the girl and her boyfriend spend the night in widely separated cells, before sobering up in the morning and dropping all the charges. Still in Reading, Dan and Daz are called to the scene of a robbery, with eight youths setting upon one, and start the hunt for possible suspects in an area to which they have fled and split up. Dan can hear people working their way through undergrowth, who have transferred to a railway track. He then hears footsteps crossing a bridge and heading towards another where some ARV officers are expected to be waiting. They are then startled by footsteps on a footbridge above them, and race over it, only to find that they’ve chased down the ARV officers. Oddly, there’s a couple of youths lurking in undergrowth on the wrong side of a fence who, on being bluffed that there are more officers coming up behind them, work their way through brambles and nettles to the fence only to claim, unprompted, to be absolutely innocent of anything. Much fun ensues as they help the lads scramble over the fence, before they’re arrested and take a nice stroll all the

There’s been a spate of vamoose burglaries in Reading, and Dan and Daz are on the case. They’ve just been overtaken by a sprightly Ford Focus, and their speed is such that blues and twos go on so that the Guys can follow more safely – and the chase is on. Eventually the driver mucks up a handbrake turn and stalls, before fleeing with Dan in hot pursuit which he has to break off when the guy decides to head onto a main railway line. Unfortunately, in backing up Dan, Daz has been forced to leave the Focus unattended, so the passengers have scarpered as well. Dan it thoroughly disappointed as he was almost within grabbing distance – but the car, at least, has been recovered. While sorting this out, Dan then spots a couple of girls who might well have been in the vehicle – but their drunken bolshiness is such that it’s nearly impossible to deal with them. Dave arrives – presumably with his dog – to assist, and another youth arrives in a car to pick up some girls. Dan attempts to question her to clarify that she wasn’t in the car – but this is made extremely difficult by one of the original girls who is determined to interfere and finally talks herself into a section 5 arrest. Her mouth keeps going even after she’s in the car and the only way to shut up the noise is to shut the car door. On revisiting the stolen vehicle, it turns out that the car is on false plates as it’s got a tax disc with a different number on it; and at least the original owner is left happy at the end of it all! Kev and Waller are alerted by a CCTV operator in Slough to a suspected drug deal that’s just been spotted on a camera. One of the people spotted is well known, so they head in to find him, and catch him alongside a car whose occupants they proceed to search, along with the assistance of Derek. The passenger is spotted dropping something into the footwell, which turns out to be a wrap of something, and is arrested – but he insists that it’s not his, so they tur

Kev and Waller are lurking around Slough on patrol, and are almost immediately called to apprehend a gang who have been spotted by an off-duty officer removing a card copying device from a cashpoint machine. Three of them are grouped around a car, so the opportunity to catch them ‘in the act’ is too good to miss and the Boys don’t want to mess it up. They execute a perfect strike, despite there only being two of them, Kev having to rugby tackle one of them to the ground, while Waller has managed to detain the other two alongside the car before they had a chance to flee. Depositing his prisoner with Waller, Kev dashes off to fetch back the other two gang members and brings them back – and all this before the reinforcements arrive! The following day, Kev and Waller are parked up in Sandhurst on an operation to net a female drug dealer who is wanted on a warrant. Mish and Flipper are also involved and spot the vehicle, which is heading towards Waller, but then goes off in another direction as Flipper and Mish have attempted to pull it, causing the driver to flee. Eventually the car is stopped and everyone piles in, Mish taking on the bewigged woman driver, while Waller, Kev and Mark deal with the passenger. The driver insists that the passenger has no drugs and is not involved at all, but given that he’s travelling in a known dealer’s car, both are taken back to the nick to be searched – along with the passenger’s dog, who doesn’t remotely fancy waiting for his owner in the Nick’s kennels! Dan and Daz are patrolling the streets of Reading, and get an ANPR ding from a car which hastily razzes off. The car has been flagged for bilking, and also no insurance, so off they go to hunt it down. When they catch up with it, the driver’s popped off somewhere, but the passengers are awaiting his return – and are passing the time skinning up, an activity in which they are caught red handed. They are now able to occupy their time being searched. Finally,

Waller and Kev are in Slough – heading to intercept a nicked car. Apparently the car is now parked up while the driver does some shopping, so they head off to find it and wait for his return. There’s also an ARV at the other end of the road who can deploy a stop stick if necessary. It isn’t – as they manage to shock and awe the occupants enough to prevent them driving off. The stop has resulted in a few injuries, the driver getting a grazed face, and Kev a busted finger. Waller, however, is ready to run down anyone who flees – being able to run like a gazelle. He says. Seeking the advice of a paramedic, it turns out that Kev has actually managed to damage a tendon in his finger – necessitating two whole weeks off work to recover! Conrad, now partnered with Anna, are in Aylesbury with Lloydy and Millsy on a drugs operation to intercept dealing. Unfortunately, the suspect they’re after spots the undercover officers trailing him and flees, so the Proactives have to pile in. The lad’s been nabbed, so Conrad and Anna take over to arrest him, while Lloydy searches him. Everyone’s positive that the lad has purchased drugs, but initial searches reveal nothing, requiring a more ‘intimate’ search down at the nick. While this is being done, Conrad and Anna commence a search of the area in case he’s discarded it into nearby undergrowth. After finding nothing, they manage to get hold of a drugs dog have a good sniff – but instead it’s another officer who finds the suspected package, which has about £1,000 worth of drugs in it! Conrad and Anna are in Slough where they spot a moped driver taking a swig from a can of Stella. As he drives off, they follow to have a quick chat about it. It seems that he just likes to have a can at lunchtime. He needs, however, to give a sample of breath now – which means they’ve got to hang around for twenty minutes to avoid an instant, and unfair, fail. This annoys the driver, who is supposed to be back at work,