The Bullwinkle Show

Looking as always for something to help others get a little more pain out of life, Boris and Natasha devise a most fiendish contest: I like being evil because..., in twenty-five words or less, sweeps the country, and when Bullwinkle J. Moose ebters under the mistaken impression that it's a why-I-like-weevils contest, his answer-that he had a distribution rights on 'em in Moosylvania for two years and almost made a fortune-immediately wins first prize, which just happens to be the deluxe edition of the Encyclopedia Badenov, which just happens to contain a very explosive entry under ""Moosylvania.""

Bullwinkle finds an old dirty dhow that he wants to race at Veronica Lake. When he launches it, it sinks, and floats back up clean and revealing jewels! Rocky and Bullwinkle go to learn more about it. When discover it's composed of rubies, and the inscription on the bow says ""Omar Kayahm"", Rocky concludes it s the Ruby Yacht of Omar Kayahm. Bullwinkle puts an article about it in the paper saying ""Moose will sail Ruby Yacht at an interesting party"", but it printed out: ""Moose will sell Ruby Yacht to any interested party. With that in the newspaper, a ruler from a little kindom in Lower NorthEast Pakistan orders his vizier to go retrieve the Ruby Yacht claiming it was his good luck token. Failing into getting the yacht, the Vizier brings his army and takes Rocky and Bullwinkle hostage in the S.S. Plankton. But to not arouse anyone's suspisions, they pose as the ship's orchestra. Rocky wants to escape, but he can't because his leg's shackled. Mr. Know It All: Rocky and Bullwinkle Fanclu

Guy Vizier and his termulous troubadours dont' exactly produce toe-tapping harmonies, but Rocky take advantage of his bass solo to attach a hacksaw to his bow and cut his chains. Soon he and Bullwinkle are hiding in a lifeboat that just so happens to get thrown over the side into a rising sea. Bullwinkle and Rocky row for all they're worth in the direction of New York, but unbeknowst to them the lifeboat is snagged by one of the S.S. Plankton's mooring cables, and two weeks later, they arrive in...Bombay, from which the vizier immediately transport them to the remote city of Jaipur, where the merciless pasha demands the return of the sacred Ruby Yacht to the sacred shrine, actually a very nice bathtub. When Bullwinkle doesn't instantly comply, he's taken to the very edge of the cobra pit, where the vizier promises to teach him the ""error of false pride,"" something another leading man was threatened with, as the fearless cineaste moose points out in Gunga Din. Rocky demands prudence of

It's a skyscraper of a tall story this time when our heroes hit the high road to Shanghai. Why? Because of his faithful service as a snowplow with antlers, the grateful citizens of Frostbite Falls, Minnesota-having weathered another winter-are toasting Bullwinkle at a testimonial dinner, but, unfortunately, the spot on his best dress shirt has a disconcerting inclination to spread. Arriving on the fast plane to Shanghai, our heroes hike directly over to the corner of Main and Chow, where they ""spot"" Ed Foo Yung's Chinese laundry, and Boris and Natasha too. Yes, the two spies have used their position at a local toy company to develop a miniature atom bomb wristwatch. However will they smuggle back to the states? A shirt at tge laundry, of course, one that turns out to belong to a certain moose.

Rocky and Bullwinkle have the shirt, but their in flight they've stumbled into the notorious Shanghai waterfront, and they're going to get taken to the cleaners, at the very least, if Boris and Natasha discover them in the hold of the junk they're piloting. Ashore, Bullwinkle is captured by Boris and his henchmen, meanwhile time is about to run out on Bullwinkle's atomic shirt.

Members of the Committee for Civic Improvement have purchased a new fortune telling machine to predict the weather for now on. Boris and Natasha have a new fiendish plan to steal it. Rocky is after them, only to find an empty van in the middle of a bridge. Boris and Natasha have arrived to Watchowee Falls, where they use the weather lady to win a new steam boat. Rocky has Bullwinkle pose as a Southen colonel to play the lucky poker lady, which is in reality the stolen weather lady. Rocky cuts the lights out, but Boris has his own plan to cut out Bullwinkle's lights perminantly.

Natasha fires a gun right when Rocky cuts out the lights. Bullwinkle grabs what he thinks is the weather lady and makes a run for it, only to realize he grabbed a phone booth by mistake. Rocky uses the phone and offers Boris $50 for the weather lady, naturally, Boris can't resist. Once meeting for the trade, Bullwinkle swats a mosquito on Boris's cheek, and the townfolk assume they've met for a duel. Rocky and Boris go ahead with the trade, but Boris trades them $3.98. The Dingaling Brothers Circus is in town, and Rocky raises $1000 for another fortune-telling machine. Boris and Natasha try to escape with both machines, but their rowboat sinks. Rocky and Bullwinkle have retrieved the weather lady!

Rocky is Bullwinkle's hero, and Bullwinkle is Rocky's hero. Fingers Scarnose is a criminal from Heck's Kitchen. Amazingly, his criminal record has never been convicted in court, because no witness has been brave enough to testify against him. Bullwinkle mistakens Scarnose's getaway car for a taxi, and finds himself in trouble. Scarnose starts shooting Bullwinkle, his onions fly through the air, and cause the driver to spin out of control.

It's Bullwinkle's dangerous duty to testify against crime lord Fingers Scarnose, but Scarnose intends to torpedo that, so he employs an out-of-town torpedo-none other than Boris Badenov-to do in the dutiful mosse before he can do his civic duty. As Boris and Natasha take cover, Rocky discovers the worm in the apple is actually a burning fuse, so the pluky squirrel plucks the bomb from the horrified moose, flies it out the window, and drops it right into a certain garbage can, where a certain pair of distinctly unlucky villains are hiding. Speaking of hiding, that's just what our heroes do, going undercover at a mink farm until the day Bullwinkle has to testify, which is just when Boris turns up. When Rocky returns to the mink pen after taking cover for two hours, he discovers a certain foreign gentlemen has purchased the biggest mink on the farm-who didn't go willingly.

At a large Minnesota college, answer to the question Wossamotta U is...everything;yes, Wossamotta University has lost eighty percent of it's enrollment and it's buildings are crumbling, all because there's no winning football team! The moose marticulates, but since he's on a football scholarship, the only classic the Frostbite Falls Flash has to study is Dick and Jane at the Seashore. Coach Canute is amazed when Rocky shows him the alley-oop pass, and the amazed college trustees immedietally start building their new big stadium in anticipation of great new victories, like the bug upset over Watchmakers College-or as it's know, Tick Tock Tech-or the unusual victory over Barely Normal.

Moose can throw passes, but can he throw an entire game? wonders Boris himself not a graduate of Penn State but of the state pen, so he enlists Natasha to feign distress-dis dress, dat dressm all she knows is she's distraught-so she plays on good-hearted Bullwinkle's sympathy by telling him her brother is on the Hard Knocks school team, and if Hard Knocks doesn't win on Saturday, he'll be thrown off and loose his letter sweater-and gee, it's turning cold too. Bullwinkle sell out Well, heroes are supposed to help damsels in distress, aren't they? Comes the big game against Hard Knocks College, and the odds on Wossamotta are long, but so are Natasha'a batty eyelashes and when Boris inpersonates her brother too, good-hearted Bullwinkle is completely taken in, until the big game's last quarter, when he spots Natasha and Boris in the stands, cheering Hard Knocks. Right at the edge of the wrong goal line, with a horde of tacklers in persuit, the furious moose stops, spots Boris, who's beat i

Boris gets another scheme to defeat Wossamotta U, he disguises as the Mud City Manglers as dolls, to deliver the Wossamotta team a big knock out punch. The score is 500-1, and Boris and Fearless Leader, so confident that Mud City Manglers will win, bet the entire Pottsylvanian Treasury. How to protect this bet? Boris and Fearless Leader hatch another plan, this time it's kidnapping Bob Waterbucket. Later, Boris and Fearless Leader has the stadium looking like a war zone, trenches dug up, guns everywhere, and it looks like the Wossamotta Pigeons are going down! Amazingly, Bullwinkle ends up having no trouble with the game by the second half!

Colonel moose takes those Civil War battle plans rather seriously, running north desite the fact that the Wossamotta goal lines are to the south, and, to make certain that the wrong side wins, a Mud City Mangler keeps a gun pointed right at the referee's fifty-yard line. When a Mud City Mangler is caught intimidating the ref, Bullwinkle springs into action, replaying the final two years of the Civil War in the last ten minutes of gridiron action, and just before the final gun sounds, the speedy squirrel zooms for the goal line, but just at that moment, Boris hurls a large rock at the diminutive Rocky. Hokey smoke! Rocky dodges, the referee ducks, and the rock bonks the Mud City thug holding a gun to the ref's back. Mud City mounts an all-out assault, but out of the pall of smoke abd flame covering the gridiron comes galloping none other than Bullwinkle J. Moose, the football dangling from an antler, and even though Boris has taken the precaution of mining the entire Wossamotta endzone,

Fearless Leader doesn't like hearing badnews unless he's thought of it first himself, and this the worst: The Pottsylvania national treasury is broke! But Fearless Leader has a Fiendish Plan, and soon Boris will find himself in the wettest, soggiestm dreariest place on earth-Moosylvania of course, the only country that has the distinction of being fought over by both the United States and Canada, with each country insisting it belongs to the other-where even now Rocky and Bullwinkle are vacation.