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Season 2
A bus accident finds Ralph at home with Alice with his sprained thumb and he's driving her nuts. Visits from both Ed and Trixie don't help very much. When the company doctor drops in it's he who finds Ralph is fine and it's Alice who is sick.
A bus accident finds Ralph at home with Alice with his sprained thumb and he's driving her nuts. Visits from both Ed and Trixie don't help very much. When the company doctor drops in it's he who finds Ralph is fine and it's Alice who is sick.
Ralph plays hooky from work to go to a Baseball Ball game with Norton. At the game, Ralph discovers he has the ""lucky"" ticket number which entitles him to the prize of $1000. Ralph
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Ralph plays hooky from work to go to a Baseball Ball game with Norton. At the game, Ralph discovers he has the ""lucky"" ticket number which entitles him to the prize of $1000. Ralph wants to spend it & Alice wants to save it. Ralph's picture appears in the paper & if his boss sees it, he'll know he played hooky from work.
Running time: 17:02
Ralph and Norton want to buy a hot-dog stand in New Jersey, but they need six hundred dollars first. The Kramdens have $158 in their bank account, but it's a joint account and Alice
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Ralph and Norton want to buy a hot-dog stand in New Jersey, but they need six hundred dollars first. The Kramdens have $158 in their bank account, but it's a joint account and Alice won't let Ralph use the money. Ralph is bitter over this because Alice has caused him to miss other opportunities in the past. It's the same story with Norton and Trixie, so the boys are forced to go first to friends and relatives for the money, and finally to a bank. Mr. Foster, the banker, refuses to lend Ralph and Norton the money, until Norton mentions that they were planning to work their regular jobs nights and run the hot-dog stand during the day. Foster is impressed with their dedication and approves the loan. Alice and Trixie help the boys get the stand ready for the grand opening, while Ralph and Norton practice a code that's supposed to help provide quick and efficient service. Things look rosy when a customer tells Ralph and Norton that a building is going up right down the road from the stand,
Uncle George from Pittsburgh is in town and Alice has invited him to dinner. Ralph has other plans: He and Norton have front-row seats at the fights. Alice is especially fond of Uncle
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Uncle George from Pittsburgh is in town and Alice has invited him to dinner. Ralph has other plans: He and Norton have front-row seats at the fights. Alice is especially fond of Uncle George because he's been generous with the Kramdens. Among other things, he once bought them a refrigerator that Ralph later sold. Ralph could care less. He says, ""I'm not missing the best fight of the year!"" Alice answers, ""You try and walk out that door and you'll be in the best fight of the year! "" Uncle George arrives before Ralph can get out of the house, so Ralph tries to get rid of him by faking a backache. Norton walks in on the middle of Ralph's act and is taken in by it too. Not wanting to go to the fight alone, he offers Ralph's ticket to Uncle George.
It's Halloween and the Kramdens and Nortons are going to a bus-company party. They're all in costume: Trixie's a sailor, Alice is an angel, Norton's dressed as Clara Bow, and Ralph's
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It's Halloween and the Kramdens and Nortons are going to a bus-company party. They're all in costume: Trixie's a sailor, Alice is an angel, Norton's dressed as Clara Bow, and Ralph's outfitted as a Zulu chief. Ralph hates his costume, though (a top hat, a sweat shirt, and a grass skirt pulled up to his chest), so he decides to rip up his tuxedo and go as an ""elegant bum."" Freddie Muller and his wife come to pick up the Nortons and the Kramdens and they're dressed to the teeth. Freddie explains that though the party's on Halloween, it's not a costume party--it's a formal dinner-dance to celebrate the boss's birthday. Since Ralph's tux is now in rags, he misses a chance to hobnob with the bigshots, but Norton doesn't consider the evening a total loss: he figures since everyone's in costume, they might as well go out trick-or-treating.
Mr. Marshall is dropping in on the Kramdens, and Ralph, who desperately wants a promotion and a raise, is going to extremes to impress him--he buys champagne, caviar, and expensive
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Mr. Marshall is dropping in on the Kramdens, and Ralph, who desperately wants a promotion and a raise, is going to extremes to impress him--he buys champagne, caviar, and expensive cigars. Norton comes down and embarrasses Ralph in front of Marshall. Ralph finally gets rid of him by giving him money to take Trixie to the movies. Then Ralph gets poked in the eye by the Fickle Finger of Fate. The board of directors for the bus company has been pressuring Marshall to give his drivers a raise, but now that he sees how well Ralph lives on the $62 a week he already pays him, he wants to use Ralph and his gracious life style as proof that he already pays his drivers enough. Ralph is crestfallen, but he dines that evening on caviar and champagne.
Ralph comes home in a rage; after driving a bus for the Gotham Bus Company for nine years, he's been told to turn in his uniform. He is incensed, frustrated, and humiliated, and the loss
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Ralph comes home in a rage; after driving a bus for the Gotham Bus Company for nine years, he's been told to turn in his uniform. He is incensed, frustrated, and humiliated, and the loss of income has him bordering on panic--he actually suggests to Alice that they move in with her parents until he gets another job. Norton comes down to pick up Ralph to go bowling and, as only he can, he makes Ralph feel worse while trying to cheer him up. Ralph feels cheated and betrayed -- both by life and by J. J. Marshall, president of the bus company--so he decides to write Marshall a letter to tell him how he feels after being fired after nine years of loyal service. Norton writes what Ralph dictates. His opening line: ""You dirty bum,"" delivered with such conviction by Ralph that it sounds as if he invented the insult for the occasion. After calling Marshall a miserable low-life and a few other things, he tells Norton to sign the letter ""Respectfully yours, etc., etc."" Ralph is too depressed to go
Ralph spots Bullets Durgom, a wanted killer, on his bus and helps the police capture him. Ralph races home with the news, just a step ahead of the reporters who descend upon Chauncey
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Ralph spots Bullets Durgom, a wanted killer, on his bus and helps the police capture him. Ralph races home with the news, just a step ahead of the reporters who descend upon Chauncey Street for photos of the hero and a firsthand account of how he helped apprehend one of the country's meanest thugs. A police chief comes by to congratulate Ralph, and while he's there one of his men races in with the news that Bullets has escaped. Ralph is terrified, because Bullets has threatened to get him. The cops figure Bullets will head straight to Chauncey Street to carry out his threat, so they set a trap for him: two cops will wait in the Kramden's bedroom, ready to spring out when Ralph says ""Bullets, it's you,"" when the killer enters the apartment. Bullets appears and Ralph is tongue-tied. Just as Bullets is about to shoot, Norton walks in, and upon seeing him blurts out ""Bullets, it's you."" The cops fly out of the bedroom, nab Bullets, and commend Ralph for being so brave.
Alice is knitting baby clothes to make some extra money for Christmas. When Norton comes down and asks Ralph if he can hide Trixie's Christmas present in the Kramdens' apartment, Ralph
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Alice is knitting baby clothes to make some extra money for Christmas. When Norton comes down and asks Ralph if he can hide Trixie's Christmas present in the Kramdens' apartment, Ralph says yes and sticks the present in the bureau drawer -- where Alice has hidden the baby clothes. A moment later, when Norton tells Ralph that Trixie has made a doctor's appointment for Alice, Ralph is sure that Alice is pregnant. He decides he has to make some more money in a hurry so that his future son can go to college, so he answers a newspaper ad for a Santa Claus job. What Ralph doesn't know is that the guys who placed the ad are bookmakers and that they plan to use the Santa to collect bets. Ralph is hired and so is Norton -- as an elf. Ralph and Norton set up shop on the sidewalk, and bettors walk by and drop in their money and slips of paper with the names of the horses they want to bet. When a cop drops some money into the pot and Norton asks him where his slip is, Santa and his helper wind up
It's Christmas Eve. Alice is decorating the tree and setting out holiday refreshments. Ralph comes home with potato salad, but Alice says it's the wrong potato salad. It came from
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It's Christmas Eve. Alice is decorating the tree and setting out holiday refreshments. Ralph comes home with potato salad, but Alice says it's the wrong potato salad. It came from DeVito's, which would have been the right place to go for lasagne, but the right potato salad would have come from Krauss'. Ralph can't believe that Alice is actually asking him to go out for different potato salad, and he's right. She's not asking him. She's telling him. He leaves. Trixie enters, and describes to Alice what Ed gave her for Christmas--a juice squeezer that looks like Napoleon and squirts juice out of its ear. Fenwick Babbitt (played by Jackie Gleason) comes by, to deliver ice and beer. After hauling the beer barrel all over the apartment and standing around with the block of ice, he discovers he's in the wrong apartment, and leaves. Ed enters, escorting Frances Langford. Frances used to know Trixie in vaudeville. She sings ""Great Day"" and ""I Love Paris"" for Alice, Ed, and Trixie, and dances w
It's the day before New Year's Eve, and Alice and Trixie want Ralph and Norton to take them out to celebrate the arrival of 1954. Ralph, who says he hates going out on New Year's Eve,
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It's the day before New Year's Eve, and Alice and Trixie want Ralph and Norton to take them out to celebrate the arrival of 1954. Ralph, who says he hates going out on New Year's Eve, anticipates that Alice is going to ask him to take her out, so he decides to- pick a fight with her so she'll be too mad at him to want to go anywhere. First he screams about dinner; but Alice doesn't retaliate because one of her New Year's resolutions is not to argue with Ralph. Ralph gropes for other things to get her riled, and when they fail he blurts out that he's not taking her out for New Year's Eve. Then they fight. In walk Tommy and Jimmy Dorsey, who've come to retrieve a briefcase full of sheet music Alice found earlier that day in a telephone booth. They invite the Kramdens and the Nortons to be their guests New Year's Eve at the Statler Hotel, where the Dorsey Brothers band is playing. Suddenly Ralph is in a festive mood. Moments later Freddie Muller arrives with bad news: Ralph has to work Ne
Ralph has been chosen to appear on the This Is Your Life TV program, and Alice must meet secretly with Mr. Wilson, the show's producer, to discuss the arrangements. Ralph finds out about
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Ralph has been chosen to appear on the This Is Your Life TV program, and Alice must meet secretly with Mr. Wilson, the show's producer, to discuss the arrangements. Ralph finds out about the meetings and thinks Alice is fooling around with another man. He thinks the best way to uncover Alice's lover's identity is to play detective at the pool room. He already knows that the mystery man likes Italian food and is going to California; when he finds out who the guy is, he'll invite him to the house, find a way to leave him and Alice alone together, and then barge back into the apartment to catch them red-handed. Phil Cuoco, the best man at Ralph and Alice's wedding, becomes the prime suspect when Ralph overhears him telling a friend that he's going to California, and when he tells Ralph that he's eaten at an Italian restaurant two days in a row. Ralph invites him to the apartment and then leaves him alone with Alice so he can spy on them from the fire escape. Phil leans over Alice as they
Ralph and Norton have a secret that Norton can't wait to blab to the wives--he and Ralph are going to buy a cottage in the country. They want to spend nearly a thousand dollars for it,
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Ralph and Norton have a secret that Norton can't wait to blab to the wives--he and Ralph are going to buy a cottage in the country. They want to spend nearly a thousand dollars for it, and Alice and Trixie are immediately against the idea. Ralph convinces Alice to go look at a model cottage, and she and Trixie fall in love with it--not knowing that they're looking at a model that costs more than twice as much as the one Ralph and Norton want to buy. Alice changes her mind and decides she'd love to own a summer cottage. The boys send the wives away so they can bargain with the salesman, a shady character who'd give a used-car salesman a good name by comparison. He tells Ralph and Norton he'll give them a ""modified"" version of the two-thousand-dollar cottage for $989, the price of the model they wanted originally. When the Kramdens and the Nortons arrive at Paradise Acres to spend their first night in their dream cottage, they discover they've been sold a nightmare instead. The wives are
Ralph broke his leg in a bus accident and now he wants to break the bank at the bus company by suing it for ten thousand dollars. According to Ralph, the accident occurred because of
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Ralph broke his leg in a bus accident and now he wants to break the bank at the bus company by suing it for ten thousand dollars. According to Ralph, the accident occurred because of company negligence: the windshield wipers on his bus didn't work and he smashed his bus into a tree because he couldn't see in the rain. Ralph doesn't care that suing the company may cost him his job because he has other plans anyway--when he gets the money from the lawsuit he's going to buy a grocery store in Jersey City. A claims adjuster from the bus company comes and offers Ralph back pay for the time he missed while recuperating and complete payment of his medical bills, but Ralph refuses the offer. Instead, he has Norton call a lawyer, who tells Norton that Ralph has a can't-lose case. The lawyer comes to the Kramden apartment, and while he's asking Ralph questions he learns for the first time that Ralph was the driver of the bus, not a passenger. He tells Ralph about a city ordinance that requires a
Not available. This sketch is still considered lost.
Not available. This sketch is still considered lost.
Ralph and Norton are at the poolroom, when in walks Dynamite Moran, a small-time boxer who's come to New York to make it big. He's had two fights and two quick knockouts, and when Ralph
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Ralph and Norton are at the poolroom, when in walks Dynamite Moran, a small-time boxer who's come to New York to make it big. He's had two fights and two quick knockouts, and when Ralph sees him punch a cigarette machine he decides he wants to manage the kid. Alice feels like KO-ing Ralph when she hears this scheme, but she's placated when Ralph says it won't cost him any money to manage Moran. Then he drops the bombshell: Moran is moving in with them. Ralph and Norton go to see Jack Philbin, a fight promoter and member of the Raccoon Lodge (and in real life the executive producer of the Jackie Gleason Show and The Honeymooners), to try to arrange a match. When Armstrong, another fight manager, tells Philbin he's heard Moran can punch, Philbin schedules a fight for Moran. Armstrong offers to buy Moran's contract from Ralph for five hundred dollars, but Ralph refuses. Armstrong drops by the Kramdens' one morning to watch Moran train, and while he's there a neighbor comes in to complain
A mob boss, who is a dead ringer for Ralph, is holed up in his apartment because a rival gang leader, Barney Hackett, wants to bump him off. Nick, one of his henchmen, takes a ride on
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A mob boss, who is a dead ringer for Ralph, is holed up in his apartment because a rival gang leader, Barney Hackett, wants to bump him off. Nick, one of his henchmen, takes a ride on Ralph's bus and gets the idea of somehow setting up Ralph to get knocked off in place of his boss. He offers Ralph a ""job"" as a top executive with an insurance company, as the pretext of getting Ralph to the boss's apartment so he can be set up. When Ralph tells Alice he's been offered a job as boss of the ""eastern district"" of an insurance company (whose name he doesn't even know), with a salary of six hundred dollars a week, a Park Avenue apartment, and a chauffeured limousine, she is--what else--skeptical. The next day Ralph reports to work on Park Avenue, while the mob boss moves to another hideout. Nick makes a deal with Hackett to bump off Ralph (Hackett, of course, isn't wise to the switch), but the assassination attempt fails, thanks to Norton's interference. Next, Nick sends Ralph to Hackett's he
The Kramdens leave Brooklyn for the Bronx?!? Yes, if Ralph has his way. His friend George and his wife are moving to Albany, and Ralph and Alice have a chance to rent their apartment, a
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The Kramdens leave Brooklyn for the Bronx?!? Yes, if Ralph has his way. His friend George and his wife are moving to Albany, and Ralph and Alice have a chance to rent their apartment, a spacious, nicely decorated place that looks like the Taj Mahal next to the Kramdens' flat. For only fifteen dollars a month more than they're paying at Chauncey Street, the Kramdens can experience comfort and luxury; but first they have to sublet their apartment. When a couple of prospective tenants wash out, Ralph decides to move out in the middle of the night. That doesn't work--Norton falls down the stairs carrying a load of pots and pans and Ralph's brother Charlie doesn't show up with the car--so Ralph tries to get kicked out of the apartment by making a racket and painting the apartment in crazy colors. The landlord of the building in the Bronx drops in to interview the Kramdens, and Ralph, who's never met the Chauncey Street landlord, thinks he's the landlord of his building. Ralph does his best
Ralph wins $73.85 playing poker and hides the money in the pocket of an old suit so Alice won't find it. The next day, a man from the Help the Needy Society comes to the apartment
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Ralph wins $73.85 playing poker and hides the money in the pocket of an old suit so Alice won't find it. The next day, a man from the Help the Needy Society comes to the apartment looking for old clothes and newspapers. Alice gives him Ralph's old suit. When Ralph hears this he and Norton race down to the mission to retrieve the suit. They decide that if Ralph goes in and asks for the suit because his money is in the pocket, the society may check with Alice to verify the story. Instead, Norton makes up Ralph to look like a bum in need of new clothes. Ralph gets on the clothes line, but when he gets to the counter the man tells him he can't get clothes without a ticket. Then Ralph learns he can't get a ticket until he fills out some forms and is investigated by the society. He gives the clerk a nutty sob story, gets a ticket, and grabs the suit he thinks is his. It's not. He sees another guy about his size wearing a similar jacket and tries to pick a fight with him, hoping the guy will
Two con men pull a scam on Ralph as he sits in the park eating his lunch. One poses as the inventor of a miracle hair restorer and the other as an unscrupulous businessman trying to buy
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Two con men pull a scam on Ralph as he sits in the park eating his lunch. One poses as the inventor of a miracle hair restorer and the other as an unscrupulous businessman trying to buy the formula. The second man ""gets rough"" with the smaller one and Ralph intervenes and chases off the larger man. The ""inventor,"" Prof. Steinhardt, tells Ralph about his hair restorer and lets Ralph talk him into selling him exclusive rights to sell the formula in New York. Ralph races home for the money, but Alice won't give it to him because of his dismal track record with guaranteed get-rich-quick schemes. Norton hears the whole fight and comes downstairs for a ringside seat. Ralph figures he can get three hundred dollars against his life-insurance policy, and invites Norton to become his partner for a two-hundred-dollar investment. Norton says no--he's still smarting from the beating he took on the shoe polish that glows in the dark. He finally gives in--before he came down Trixie bet him a quarter
Alice and Ralph return home from the movies. Time passes and Alice can't remember the actress who starred in the film. Ralph can't remember her name either and now he can't sleep until
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Alice and Ralph return home from the movies. Time passes and Alice can't remember the actress who starred in the film. Ralph can't remember her name either and now he can't sleep until he thinks of the name. All the noise keeps Ed awake and he comes down to see what's going on. A cop then comes to the door and tells Ralph that if the noise doesn't stop, he's going to wind up in front of a judge. That's it! says Ralph. Arline Judge is the dames name.
NOTE: This is the same story line as "What's Her Name?" from season 1. Except in this version ends with Ralph and Alice singing the song "One of These Days, Pow Right in the Kisser".
Alice's sister, Helen, and her husband, Frank, have won a cruise to Europe, and Ralph and Alice go to see them off at the dock. Ralph is jealous and he acts it. The next day he buys
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Alice's sister, Helen, and her husband, Frank, have won a cruise to Europe, and Ralph and Alice go to see them off at the dock. Ralph is jealous and he acts it. The next day he buys every product that's running a contest--$23.50 worth of dog food, cereal, cake mix, detergent, etc.--so he can win something too. Ralph eventually wins two contests: his prizes are a dog from the Happy Hound dog food people and a trip to Europe from Slim-o Bread. (Ralph's winning slogan: ""Slim-O Bread adds to the taste and takes away from the waist."") When Ralph reads the telegram that notifies him about winning the trip, he discovers that the company wants to use before-and-after photos of him; Ralph said on his entry blank that he used to be a fatty but that his weight dropped down to 170 pounds after he began eating Slim-O. Ralph cons Norton into posing as him, and stuffs him with a pillow and takes his picture, which is to pass as the ""before"" Ralph. The ruse works--until Mrs. Manicotti comes in and ref
Ralph's been elected treasurer of the Raccoon Lodge--he won by promising to spend the Lodge's budget surplus on beer and hot dogs. On the way home from the lodge he loses the two hundred
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Ralph's been elected treasurer of the Raccoon Lodge--he won by promising to spend the Lodge's budget surplus on beer and hot dogs. On the way home from the lodge he loses the two hundred dollars he's supposed to deposit in the Raccoons bank account. The next day he meets Norton at Jerry's Lunch Room to figure out where he can get another two hundred dollars. He tries to make some of it back by playing pinball against a guy in the lunch room. Ralph rolls up a score that Norton says will put him in the Pinball Hall of Fame, but his opponent tops it with his first ball. As Ralph and Norton are leaving, Jerry gets a telephone call--a hot tip on Cigar Box, a horse running that afternoon at the track. Jerry closes the lunch room to go to the track, and Ralph figures the horse must be a sure thing. He and Norton go to the track, hoping to win two hundred dollars. When the odds on Cigar Box start dropping, Ralph goes around dissuading people from betting on the horse. He and Norton split up, a
This is an expanded version of the March 1953 skit ""Alice's Aunt Ethel."" In this episode, Ralph comes home from work in a fabulous mood--which lasts only until Alice tells him Aunt
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This is an expanded version of the March 1953 skit ""Alice's Aunt Ethel."" In this episode, Ralph comes home from work in a fabulous mood--which lasts only until Alice tells him Aunt Ethel is coming for a visit. The middle sequence of this episode--in which Ralph is trying to sleep on a cot in the kitchen while Alice makes coffee for Aunt Ethel--is ""Alice's Aunt Ethel"" all over again. When Ralph's scheme to get rid of Aunt Ethel by faking a bad back fails, he concludes that the only way to get rid of her for good is to marry her off to somebody. Freddie Zimmerman, the butcher from Freitag's Meat Market, is chosen as the pigeon and invited over for dinner. Ralph goes all out to ensure that the evening is a success. He sends Aunt Ethel to the beauty parlor and buys her a corsage; he borrows the Nortons' love seat and his pal George's record player and records; he sprays the apartment with perfume, and buys four pounds of chopped meat from Freddie to make sure he's in a good mood.
The Kramdens and the Nortons are going on vacation together. The girls think they're going to Atlantic City, but the boys decide they want to go fishing at Fred's Landing. They get their
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The Kramdens and the Nortons are going on vacation together. The girls think they're going to Atlantic City, but the boys decide they want to go fishing at Fred's Landing. They get their way--and wind up having to push their borrowed car halfway to Fred's. After two days at Fred's, Alice and Trixie are worn out cooking, cleaning, toting water, collecting firewood. They decide to annoy the boys enough to get them to want to leave. They don't know that Ralph and Norton are miserable too. Ralph decides he'll dress up in a bear suit to scare the girls into begging him and Norton to go home, so the boys can leave and save face at the same time. Ralph returns with the suit, to find Norton face to face with a real bear. Ralph admits he made a mistake wanting to go to Fred's and it's off to Atlantic City.
This is another version of a sketch that was originally broadcast on June 27, 1953.
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