Every [Blank] Ever

No Karen, you cannot return a meal you’ve already eaten. This is EVERY RETAIL JOB EVER!

I’m sorry for what I said when we were playing Monopoly. This is EVERY GAME NIGHT EVER!

Do I need this? No. Will I be buying it just because it’s $1? Absolutely. This is EVERY DOLLAR STORE EVER!

Let’s just be clear— I swiped right on the dog, not you. This is EVERY DATING PROFILE EVER!

The dog ate his webcam, so that’s why he can’t video call me! This is EVERY CATFISH EVER.

Moms love it, kid’s soccer leagues just can’t get enough, and the employees are secretly hoping that you won’t ask for your 15th sample. This is EVERY Baskin Robbins EVER!

Start with your brightly dressed main character, add in a diverse best friend, and a resident simp who doesn’t stand a chance and you have EVERY DISNEY CHANNEL SHOW EVER!

Because, where else can you get a bowl of chili in a drive-thru? This is EVERY WENDY’S EVER!

Cutest Couple, or Most Likely to Break Up in the Next 3-6 Months? This is EVERY YEARBOOK EVER!

Grab your pear phone and spaghetti tacos, but hide those feet because this EVERY NICK SHOW EVER!

This just in— the world sucks and everything is terrible. This is EVERY LOCAL NEWS EVER!

Close that textbook, because it’s time to crowd into a smelly school gym and listen to an adult man who peaked in high school prepare you for a myriad of life’s most anxiety inducing situations! This is EVERY SCHOOL ASSEMBLY EVER!

Sure… you’re just here for the wings. This is EVERY HOOTERS EVER!

So, looking to out pizza the hut, eh? This is EVERY PIZZA HUT EVER!

Don’t you just love paying a doctor with ten years of education and wealth of experience to fact check what Google just diagnosed you with? This is EVERY DOCTOR’S APPOINTMENT EVER!

We stan a donut that is both hot and ready. This is EVERY KRISPY KREME EVER!

You better hold on tight to that 107 year old man, spider monkey. This is EVERY TWILIGHT EVER.

Never disrespect someone’s fur baby. This is EVERY DOG PERSON EVER!

If you’re not handing me my ice cream upside down, I don’t want it. This is EVERY DAIRY QUEEN EVER!

Hello, young and impressionable children— buy our stuff! This is EVERY KIDS' COMMERCIAL EVER!

Petition to end the endless box in a box routine?? This is EVERY GIFT EXCHANGE EVER!