Astrogoblin

Some say Jacob is still in that cutscene, talking to NPCs rendered in a game engine developed over a decade ago.

You know how we like talking about dog death? this video has a lot of it. there's also a really cool image of a gladiator arena with dudes fighting dinosaurs and giants, at least watch until then. also check out Noah (2014) while you're at it

Once upon a time we would have titled this video, "Tom Handsome and the Charlie Factory" or "Oompa Loompa for sale, never topped." You really don't know it's the good old days until they're over, huh?

While Mel Gibson was filming Monster Summer in Southport, North Carolina he was awarded the keys to the city by the Mayor who declared December 16 to be "Mel Gibson Day".

we didn't know that the Titanic split in half until 1985. Isn't that weird? if you watch any of the older Titanic movies it just kind of slips into the water, fully intact, which is way less scary

Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville. Me and Steve-O are gonna get laid off from Warner Bros. Discovery and start our own media company and end up trapping ourselves in an endless cycle of web content. This is... Astrogoblin.

Replaying this game is creating a lot of dysentery in the ranks, and it's been a real albacore around our necks.

I looked up the description for The Italian Stallion, and apparently Sylvester Stallone "services" and entire group of women! No confirmation yet on whether or not Jon Voight or Mel Gibson could do the same, but we have our top people putting out some calls now

Newark: The final frontier. These are the voyages of the 1999 Chevrolet Suburban. It's six-season mission: to steal strange new Poke-man cards; to shave off new eyebrows and care for new ducks; to boldly put Feech La Manna back in prison.

The Chinese Legend of Winter Solstice dates back to the Eastern Han Dynasty. A renowned traditional Chinese physician saw the poor suffering from the chilblains on their ears, so he had special dumplings stuffed with herbs and other ingredients made for them to help expel the cold. Since the dumplings are shaped like ears, he named them “Jiaoer.” From that time on, the tradition of eating Jiaozi (meaning dumplings) on Dongzhi began.

this game doesn't make no sense no more

WILL SASSO if you are reading this we would love to sit down and discuss who will play you in the film. We will be at the Hollywood Chick-Fil-A from 6am - Close on Tuesday. Have your agent drop you off.

In an interview with James Cameron, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Cameron asked Arnold where he'd go if he could travel back in time and Arnold said that he would have gone back in time and turned down the role of Hercules in New York.

Hey Tone, did you hear videogames are woke now? I was playing Kingdom Come Deliverance 2 with the Blundetto twins and it gave me the option to kiss another man. It totally ruined my immersion Tone, I'm gonna call up J.T. tomorrow and we're gonna write the first anti-woke videogame.

Astrogoblin is grateful to the generous contributions of the Not Bill Just Melinda Gates Association. With their help and the help of other generous benefactors we're able to find all new ways of expressing the absolute dumbest crap.