Astrogoblin

Just when we thought we were out, the Coast Guard pulled us back in! Welcome to Astrogoblin. It's a Cold Fear gameplay channel until Patrick doesn't want to play anymore.

Three backwoods hicks deciding what's Shrek and what's not Shrek? That's classic Astrogoblin.

Patrick's patience for Coast Guard antics has been pushed to the bursting point.

Behold, the first of many Friday videos to come, and the beginning of a full playthrough of Shadow Man. Who better to be the harbinger of our weekend's eve jaunt than the Quintessential Gamer himself.

Bienvenido al comienzo del arco Dark Void de Astrogoblin, presentado por nuestra configuración de audio anterior. ¡Que terrible!

Lawrence is here to take us all on a deep dive into the sexy world of semi-solid dairy goop.

This game bears the moniker "Dark Void," but as goblins we should look within to discover where the true Dark Void lies. Is it the aching pit at the bottom of our distended stomachs? Is it gap between the dull throbs that push blood through our clotted veins? Perhaps you will find the answers you seek at the end of this video...

Terah and Jacob recently discovered that Ryan was living in the walls of their home. We decided to make some videos for old times' sake until the authorities arrive!

In 2024, a crack content creation unit was fired by a Rooster Teeth for having low views. These three promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by Warner Brothers, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a game that needs to be played, if no one else can help, and if you can find them....maybe you can hire Astrogoblin.

Review of 1997's 'Ernest Goes to Africa - 1/5 Stars "Memorable movie. Or about as memorable as anything can be on a Thursday at 3 am in your friend's basement. Still rubbish though. I would've just left the girl in Africa, as she was annoying as sh*t. Ernest was annoying as sh*t too though, so... Pretty funny dancing/yo-yo scene though. Probably the only rewindable moment."

So I said, ‘There’s a Shadow Man 10 yards away from the boat, 10 yards, or here. Do I get electrocuted if the boat is sinking, water goes over the battery, the boat is sinking? Do I stay on top of the boat and get electrocuted, or do I jump over by the Shadow Man and not get electrocuted?’ Because I will tell you, he didn’t know the answer.

Curse you Elden Ring! I hereby vow! You will rue this day! Behold, a true warrior! And I, Patrick! (and Jacob and Charlotte) Your fears made flesh! Solid of content you might be, foul DLC... But I will riddle with holes your rotten hide! With a hail of harpoons! With every last drop of my being!

Dude Hyetta! Don't eat those grapes, they're eyeballs!

Oh these? These are the chains I forged in life. But dude! Ebenezer! You should see yours haha

Corteo, which means "cortege" in Italian, is a joyous procession, a festive parade imagined by a clown. The show brings together the passion of the actor with the grace and power of the acrobat to plunge the audience into a theatrical world of fun, comedy and spontaneity situated in a mysterious space between heaven and earth.

One-Handed Gooner Guide - How to build a One-Handed Gooner (Elden Ring) In this Elden Ring Build Guide, I’ll be showing you my Gooner build. This is a Shadow of the Erdtree build that takes place after level 150. If you’ve been looking for a build that focuses on strong forearms, degradation, and weeks of retention, then you might want to check this out!

I yearn to turn Jacob's bathing tub into a veritable mud soup of droppings and tinkles. A bath that cleans not, but as a rule dirties further? Is that a Nobel prize I hear calling on the breeze?

You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell! Also your paws are stinky!

After conducting multiple bone density tests, it has been determined that Alanah and Ryan's combined levels are equal to one Patrick.

Patrick was eaten by a dingo, so we do this in his honor.

Just because your buddy Steve told you that you could get high on Home Depot seeds, doesn't mean you should.

The more Charlotte loves Hitman, the more it hates her back. Hitman Blood Money - Part 2

The cup has filled to the brim and only the faintest surface tension keeps it from spilling over. Is the end nigh? Shadow Man Part 11

The human form... perfected

We are the dog. The big bad dog. ROHROHROHROHRO-

Little to nothing is stated about Aisha’s childhood besides from her association with swimming and that her parents' hydroelectric company supplies half of the Otherworld's energy supply. She also once flooded her entire secondary school after she failed a math test, and wadded through human poo. Shadow Man Part 12

Three goblins did wobble as they take their first steps across the unforgiving tundra of an alien landscape. With the world behind them in flames, for whom do they wobble? Do they wobble for their goblin mothers? For their goblin priests? Their goblin sommeliers? It doesn't matter. Wobble on they must. Nothing stands behind.

Jet Li: Rise to Honor Part 1 We can't wait to play all these PS2 games with our fully functional PS2 on which our livelihoods depend!

Abeloth, self-styled as the Beloved Queen of the Stars and also known as the Bringer of Chaos and the Destructor, was an extremely powerful Force entity. Her dark side powers and immortality derived from her being corrupted by drinking from the Font of Power and bathing in the Pool of Knowledge. She first lived as the Servant, a mortal woman who served the powerful Ones on a jungle planet over a hundred thousand years before the Battle of Yavin. She eventually became the Mother, keeping the peace between the Father's warring Son and Daughter as a part of the family. However, she grew old while the Father and their children did not, and she feared she would lose her precious family. In a desperate attempt to hold onto the life she so loved, she drank from the Font of Power and bathed in the Pool of Knowledge. Her actions corrupted her, transforming the Mother into the twisted, immortal entity known as Abeloth.

Zoomers will never understand what it was like to buy a mock-stock-mibble-bock-wopper-bopper off a sea pervert. Also 9/11.

-Pot roast shaak round -soy sauce -garlic -cavatelli -olive oil -pearl onions -kale -rainbow carrots -Panko breadcrumbs

Li is a master of several styles of wushu, especially changquan and fanziquan. He has also studied other arts including baguazhang, tai chi, xingyiquan, drunken boxing, Eagle Claw, and Praying Mantis. He did not learn Nanquan ("Southern Boxing"), because his training focused only in the Northern Shaolin Styles. He has also mastered wushu's main weapons, such as Sanjiegun (Three Section Staff), Gun, Dao (Broadsword), Jian (Straight Sword).

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, "PUT THE MIC DOWN." I fear something terrible has happened.

"They're eating the dogs! The people that came in. They're eating the cats! They're eating, they're eating the pets of the people that live there."

As the Clone Wars escalated, Wat Tambor took an interest in the captive ARC trooper CT-1409, who had been captured during a battle in the Citadel but was presumed dead by the Republic. Tambor kept an unconscious Echo in a stasis chamber and managed to extract information from Echo's mind to use as an algorithm consisting of strategies devised by Echo and the Clone Captain CT-7567. While officially professing the Techno Union's neutrality, Tambor had sold the algorithm to the Separatist Admiral Trench, who used it to great effect during the Battle of Anaxes to invade the Republic world of Anaxes. Tambor's dealings with the Separatists were exposed by a Republic infiltration team consisting of Rex, Clone Force 99, and the Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker.

Side effects of eating raw chicken include diarrhea (possibly bloody), fever, stomach cramps, nausea, vomiting, salmonella, bleeding maw, bonewrack, brittle coma, chronopox, and churning lung.

Our intrepid reporter in the field, Ryan Hailey, returns with his take on American sports legend, Joey Chestnut. No one will remember the name of Lou Gehrig.

two losers push themselves to the limit to find out who knows more about fake stuff

Have you ever heard the tragedy of Nim Chimpsky, the dumb ape?

Okay, so what, you're telling me there's these guys right? These weird guys who are big or small or hairy or a bug and you're telling me they're real. Okay. Does kussie know cressie? Who's friends with Gorp? Is Jon Voight a crypt did?

KNOW YOUR RIGHTS! A BUSINESS CANNOT KICK YOU OUT FOR HAVING YOUR DIRTY LITTLE PIGGIES EXPOSED UNLESS IT IS EXPLICITLY STATED IN COMPANY POLICY. MY WIFE AND I HAVE BEEN ASKED TO LEAVE FOUR DIFFERENT RESTAURANTS TODAY BECAUSE WE REFUSE TO COVER OUR FILTHY WIGGLERS!

Jacob and Charlotte's attempts to trap Patrick in a cage, box, or small animal enclosure have been unsuccessful as of late. Please leave your suggestions for trapping a feral Patrick in the comments below.

Progressive insurance.

Patrick is hungee and has chosen violence.

never stop gambling

This is an amazing movie to watch. Ween makes an appearance in this film!! People tend to give this a lower rating but those people clearly have no sense of humor. This movie is super hilarious and really goofy. This is a movie that everyone should watch at least once in their lives.

Ryan Hailey is also here to bring you an important Arkansas restaurant rec.

Legend says that if you find every Arby's in Ohio, you are granted one wish ... but be careful what you wish for

Let it be known: JACOB CANNOT READ. Do not believe his lies.

As we watch Patrick virtually gorge himself on greasy innards of some hapless creature, perhaps we should ponder who the true monster is, and how his skin would look as a shirt+vest+hat combo.

Shiver me timbers! These three scoundrels be setting sail with the comeliest wench this side of Tortuga!

If you needed more proof that God and all his Saints frown upon Astrogoblin, look no further. We have strayed beyond the light of all that is holy. May we find ourselves in darkness, for darkness is all we have now.

When Charlotte and Patrick come over, I greet them with a convivial "andaran atish’an" and then they strike be with canes.

it's a fine game, but after a certain point it just felt like you had to play it because everyone else in the office was playing it. In general I would say I like word games, but if I'm forced to play something every day eventually I'm gonna grow to resent it. I guess what I'm saying is everything in moderation.

Oh Suuuusan you've gone and mucked up the Astrogoblin's recording! Good heavens, Suuusan, Mr. Brown is going to be awfully cross with you. He may even unleach his fowl beasts upon you, Suusan!

Members of our Patreon will receive navigational coordinates to a location where they can give us wedgies, swirlies, and a locker to shove us in.

Did you know Will Poulter is in the third Narnia movie? Has anyone seen that one? I watched them after we did the first video. He’s really annoying, truly awful, does a really weird accent the whole time.

Yuck. Extremely demonic. They were recording in a room filled with TOYS for CHILDREN??!! Extremely ugly and satanic looking with a misshapen hat on one's head. Very large and scary looking. Nondescript white guy, trans person, racially ambiguous dude, all kinds of demonic stuff. I’m so glad I didn’t take any kids to this “Gaming” YouTube channel. Ugh. Consisted of seed jokes and niche pop culture references, more seed jokes, weird opinion, seed seed seed, goblin etc. wish I hadn’t gone.

Beavers have caster sacks near the base of their tail that produce a yellowish goo called castorium. They use castorium to scent mark their territory and communicate with other beavers.

Legend says that if you can find and subdue a Santa Claus, and if you've been very nice, he will grant you your hearts desire.

The old title wasn't performing great but it's too good to not enshrine in the description. "That mouth belongs in a museum" - ca. 2024, Astromus Goblinus

Get your daddy a brand new scythe for his backyard, or maybe a pair of motion sickness goggles for your eldest sister. The problem of Christmas can be solved if you watch this video!

When interviewed by John Johnson in 1988, John Stewart expressed regret for writing the Black Belt article on Dux's alleged Kumite victory. He described himself as naive for believing Dux, saying that after the story was published he received information that "raised questions about Dux's military career". Jim Coleman, then editor of Black Belt, added that Dux's story was "based on false premises" and there was no evidence of the Kumite. Kenneth Wilson from the Ministry of Sports in The Bahamas disputed the existence of the Kumite, saying it was impossible a martial arts tournament of that scale could have been kept a secret. According to Johnson, an invoice for the organization that allegedly staged the Kumite listed Dux as its only point of contact, and the base of the trophy he claims to have won was bought by him at a local trophy store. Dux told Johnson to speak to a man named Richard Robinson, whom he said he had met at the Kumite. Robinson initially confirmed Dux's story, saying

Patrick is chaotic evil given life. From the moment he asks to sit in the driver's seat, he is scheming to destroy this video. To take what makes a video enjoyable and to make it filth. Painful, raw filth. Enjoy!

In 2016, Bashir was ranked as the 25th most important character of Starfleet within the Star Trek science fiction universe by Wired magazine. In 2016, SyFy ranked Bashir as the fifth best of the seven main-cast space doctors of the Star Trek franchise. In 2018, CBR ranked Bashir the 16th best Starfleet character of Star Trek. In 2018, The Wrap placed Bashir as 15th out 39 in a ranking of main cast characters of the Star Trek franchise prior to Star Trek: Discovery.

We passed the test!