Anything Goes With Emma Chamberlain

happy 2023! here we go again. so today i want to talk about my 2023 predictions...what i think is going to happen this year. to be honest, i have no idea what i'm talking about, i have no evidence to back these predictions. so if you hear something and you're like, 'i don't think so' - you might be right. they're just predictions i've come up with, based on my own experiences and observations in life. some of them are predictions and some are more manifestations- like things that i want to happen...but i also can see them happening, you know? let's just get right into it!

today's episode might get a little dark, okay? but we're going to get through it together. today we're talking about mortality. because me, you, everyone you know...we're all going to die at some point. i feel like when i was little, i knew i would die someday, but my perspective was kind of one dimensional and kind of optimistic. i felt like i had so much time. like, the narrative when i was a child was, 'ugh, you have so much time!' i just never really thought about my own mortality. but i think that part of maturing into adulthood is coming to terms with the fact that we're going to die and the people we love are going to die and it's f*****g real. i just fully went through this realization recently and it has rocked my world. so today, we're going to talk about coming to terms with our mortality and how to process it in a healthy way.

today we’re going talk about nepotism. now, what is nepotism? in simple terms, nepotism is getting a job or an opportunity because you know somebody in a relevant position of power. right now, the internet has been discussing nepotism in the entertainment industry. “nepotism babies” is the term coined for people who are famous because their family has connections to the entertainment industry. i think the internet as a whole is alarmed and frightened by how much of the entertainment industry is just nepotism. but i think it’s interesting because it can exist in any industry. if your parents went to a super prestigious college, there’s a good chance you can get in because they're alumni. so this exists everywhere, but why is it such a big deal in the entertainment industry? i need to put in my two cents.

remember when you were a child and constantly had adults telling you what the rules were? don’t lie, don’t steal... don’t do this, don’t do that. when we’re children, we’re constantly being reminded of certain rules and principles that we’re supposed to follow no matter what. and i think that’s important! but i think in our late teens and early adulthood, we have to take it upon ourselves to find nuance in these rules. i’ve actually struggled in my life a little bit because i’ve felt this internal pressure to follow these fundamental rules i learned as a kid, and there was never a check-in moment where an adult told me that things aren’t always so black and white. i’ve sort of had to figure this out on my own. so today i’m gonna discuss a few of my discoveries about these rules, and i think there are some things that could even be beneficial to unlearn as an adult.

don’t you just love it when you’re scrolling through social media, and you stumble upon a little video of somebody showing their daily routine? they wake up at 5AM, roll out of their crisp white sheets, take a shower, do a 40 step skincare routine and give themselves a full blowout so that their hair is perfect and wavy and gorgeous... you get what i’m saying. we all talk about how social media is not real life these days, but even i get swept up into the world of the internet sometimes. i watch a video of somebody's perfect daily routine and i don’t feel good, because i’m like, i’ll never be like that. but the truth is, the whole thing is unrealistic! i think that the pressure to have your shit together is a little bit unhealthy, and there’s an obsession with it on the internet. so that’s what i want to talk about today.

today i wanted to talk about how we view the past, the present, and the future. i’ve had healthy and unhealthy relationships with these three time periods throughout my life, and i can almost guarantee that you have too. it’s easy to become obsessed with the past, or the present, or the future in a way that’s imbalanced. so today i wanted to talk about what i think are healthy perceptions of these time periods, and what might be unhealthy. let’s get into it.

you know what i love to do? analyze people. and you know what my favorite dynamic to analyze is? romantic relationships. i think it’s because romantic relationships are possibly the most vulnerable relationship. they bring out every side of a person. they show every weakness, every strength, every flaw… they show traits of a person that might otherwise just sit underneath the surface. so today i wanted to discuss some behaviors that i’ve observed in other peoples relationships, and maybe even some of my own past relationships as well. and i want to talk about what i think these behaviors mean. i must say, these are all just hypotheses. none of it’s backed by science, it’s just backed by life experience. let’s just get into it.

today i want to talk about religion. what a fun topic. i’ve been thinking about religion a lot recently, not on a personal level, but on a societal level. i want to start by saying i have no bias. i have my own spiritual beliefs that keep me afloat, but i’m not married to a religion. i also have to mention that this conversation is based on my corner of the internet, my corner of the world, and what i’m seeing. depending on where you live or what communities you’re a part of, you might have a very different experience. so i ask you to keep that in mind. let’s get into it.

i have a horror story for you. an absolute horror story. it has to do with my hair. so let’s just get into it, let’s waste no time.

i’ve been asking myself for a long time, have all creative things been done before? has every piece of clothing been created? has every movie been made? has every song been written? humans have been expressing themselves creatively for thousands of years and part of me is starting to wonder if we’ve hit our limit. have we created everything that’s possible to be created? i know for a fact there are incredible creatives today, but as a whole, it seems like a lot of what’s being produced on a mainstream level is not up to the standard that mainstream creativity used to meet. now, I also need to mention that everything i’m about to say could be complete bullshit. When in doubt, remember that everything i say is a hypothesis and i’m so open to other opinions and people telling me i'm wrong. let’s get into it.

today i'm going to be talking about some of the unnecessary things i've bought recently, and whether or not i think they’re worth the money. these are things that aren't necessary but are extremely helpful. that’s like my shopping kryptonite. if something is not necessary but extremely helpful, unfortunately i have to have it. i’m not proud of it necessarily, but i'm going to share some of my discoveries with you. not all of these things were hits, okay, some of these were terrible and we’re going to talk about that too. but listen, some of these things were great so i'm going to put you on. and for the things that are bad, now you know not to waste your time.

today we’re going to be talking about how we don’t know shiiittttt. listen, it’s very easy to fall into a cycle where you believe that you know everything: that you’re right, that you have shit figured out, and that everyone else who disagrees with you is a dummy. now, i know not everybody’s like this. you may not be like this. but at the very least, you definitely know someone like this… a know-it-all. but a discovery i’ve made in my adult life is that it’s such a beautiful and magical thing to realize that you know nothing. it’s so freeing. and that’s why i wanted to talk about it today.

today we’re going to be doing another episode of trendy or timeless. this is when i look at fashion trends that are hot right now and discuss whether i think they’re trendy or timeless, and just what i think of them overall. so let’s get right into it.

when i was in high school i was scrolling through instagram, and i stumbled upon a graphic of a triangle. at the end of each tip of the triangle there was a priority - sleep, success in work/school, and social life. on the bottom of the screen it said choose two. the concept was that you can’t prioritize everything in your life at the same time. for years of my life i’ve sort of lived with this instagram graphic in the back of my head. i’ve constantly reminded myself, something’s gotta give. i can’t prioritize everything i want to prioritize 100%. but recently i had an epiphany and thought, is this true? so today i want to explore this concept, because i think there’s a lot of value there, but it could use a little bit more nuance.

today i wanted to walk you through my daily routine. i’m talking about from the second i wake up, to the second i go to sleep. i want to explain why i do the things i do, why i find them beneficial, and just get into the nitty gritty of my daily routine. because i feel like i have a really solid daily routine at this point. so i wanted to dig into it. talk about it, analyze it, discuss it.

i’ve been talking openly about my mental health on the internet for years now. i think it’s just who i am by nature. i’ve never had much of an issue talking about my struggles, and i think the conversation about mental health is an incredible thing. but the fact that i’m involved in the conversation online about mental health has made me hyper aware of the conversation itself, and has caused me to analyze it as a whole. what are people saying online in regards to mental health? what advice and knowledge are people sharing? two things can be true at once - something can be incredible, and helpful, and lifesaving, and it can also be incredibly damaging, misguided and harmful. and i think that’s happening with this mental health conversation online. it’s an important conversation to have. so today we’re going to talk about the evolution of the mental health conversation online, the benefits of it, and the negative impacts of this conversation.

today i wanted to talk about something super fun, super lighthearted, super hashtag good vibes. that's just the mood I'm in today. so today i wanted to talk about my anxiety. yayyyyyyy. i wanted to talk about it because it's one of the most challenging things i deal with on a daily basis. i’ve struggled with a lot of different mental health struggles. anxiety is definitely not the only one. but i would say anxiety has been the most challenging overall, and it just never really seems to go away for me. it's something that i'm constantly battling, and so i just wanted to talk about my experience and how i deal with it. and that's what's on the agenda.

i've had character assassination on my list of topics for weeks now, because it didn't feel particularly relevant to my life. but the topic became incredibly relevant to my personal life recently, so here we are. character assassination is the malicious and unjustified harming of a person's good reputation. i think it can come in two main forms. number one, a completely fabricated story that doesn't have an ounce of truth in it, that's created simply to harm someone's reputation. and then the second type is a dramatized negative version of the truth. so this is taking a little piece of truth and twisting it into something that is far more negative and defamatory than it actually is. this has always been an issue for public figures and celebrities. character assassination sells. but i would say prior to the internet, there was no way for the average person to just go viral on a whim like it's possible now.

today i’m going to be talking about something that i'm obsessed with. in 2023, our identities as human beings are not just confined to our physical being. our identities are now a combination of our online presence and our physical presence. prior to the internet, if you weren't a celebrity, your entire identity was judged based on your physical presence. at this point in time, your online identity and your physical presence equally, in my opinion, shape the way that people perceive you. i've noticed that with the rapid development of social media, there has also been a rapid development of different aesthetics that people align themselves with in a way that goes beyond just lighthearted interests. to me, it feels like people's online aesthetics become almost a lifestyle, almost an obsession, almost a religion in some cases, and this is so fascinating to me. so today we're talking about our collective obsession with having an aesthetic, especially online.

have you been thinking to yourself, everybody has a podcast these days? i think a lot of people are feeling that way. over the past few years, podcasting has become a real thing. when I was younger, the only podcasts i knew of were ones that were for adults that my parents were listening to. they were all very corporate in the sense that they weren't just individuals turning on a microphone and making a podcast kind of indie style. i don't remember podcasting being a thing for anyone under 40 up until the last maybe five years. but it's definitely become a huge source of entertainment for all ages. and I just wanted to analyze this today because I'm so fascinated by the podcasting world and how it's grown over the past few years, and especially how it's entered into the universe of young people.

ever since i discovered the concept of karma, i’ve been obsessed with it. i learned it through my community. it might have been my parents, it might have been my friends, it might have been my teachers, i don't remember. but the moral of the story is ever since i've discovered karma, i have been obsessed with the concept. i’ve been living with karma in mind for pretty much as long as I can remember, and it's been a fundamental rule in my life. but as i'm getting older, i'm becoming more fascinated by these rules that i've been living by. i'm questioning them in a way, but not necessarily in a negative way or even in a super critical way. moreso wondering what more is there to learn about these certain concepts and how accurate are they? i just find the whole thing interesting and satisfying. so today we're gonna be digging into karma.

i had fomo recently. what is fomo? fomo is the fear of missing out. it's probably not an unfamiliar feeling to you as i assume most people feel fomo at least once in their life. the more expanded definition of fomo is anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media. i thought that i was done experiencing fomo. i thought i grew out of fomo. i thought i had evolved past the point of experiencing that feeling, but i was wrong.

why do celebrities choose to stay famous? on the surface level, this question seems easy to answer because most of us look at fame as a dream come true. we see fortune, power, attention, praise. we see all of the positives. but yet, right in front of our eyes, we witness the way that fame ruins people's lives. it's safe to say that fame is much more complicated than we think it is on the surface level. as much as there are incredible elements of being famous that are life-changing and full of abundance, there are also sides of it that are so challenging that even all the money and abundance in the world can't heal those wounds at times. and so today i wanna try to answer the question, why do famous people stay famous?

recently, i've felt weird posting pictures of myself on instagram, and i've never felt this feeling before. posting photos of ourselves online is a part of being human at this point. it's so incredibly normal. i think most of us aren't even questioning why we do it. and up until recently, i didn't question it either. but the last few times I've gone to post a photo of myself on instagram, i've felt like a narcissist, and it scared me a little bit. i've been finding myself taking a pause before i post a picture of myself feeling almost uncertain of whether or not it's the right thing to do. and i'm somebody who has a tendency to overthink, so part of me wonders if i'm overthinking the whole thing. but part of me also thinks there's a chance that even though we've normalized posting photos of ourselves, it's still actually a narcissistic behavior. so today, I wanna figure out for myself honestly, whether or not posting photos of yourself online is narcissistic.

guess who just got back from coachella? me. if you don't know what coachella is, it’s one of the biggest music festivals in America, where the biggest musicians perform all in one place. there are celebrities everywhere, all doing things that warrant headlines. it's just one of those things that i refuse to miss every year. but today i specifically want to talk about coachella fashion because although music is the number one priority, fashion is a close second. it's undeniably a fashion moment that is recognized by even the largest fashion magazines and brands. and the interesting thing about coachella is that there's sort of no dress code. i think the only rule is you can't be completely nude, but you can be really close and you can still get in. and i feel like this lack of dress code combined with this mass of people all in one place makes it the perfect moment to express yourself with clothing in a really unique way.

today i'm going to be talking about a topic that is not a hot topic: marriage. when my parents were growing up, marriage was this sort of fundamental part of being a human. and recent statistics are showing that millennials and gen z are apparently not loving the idea of getting married. when i was younger i really didn't know if i wanted to get married and have kids. part of it could have been that my parents were divorced. but I think a big part of why i had that belief was out of this desire to rebel against the norm. it's fascinating to me that something so foundational like marriage is being so heavily questioned. it's making me wonder whether or not the questioning is rational, or if it's just kind of an act of rebellion against society. because when we're told to do something, sometimes we freak out and decide to rebel against it. so i guess i just want to investigate all of it.

we often find ourselves disappointed with other people. there are times when we set realistic expectations for people, such as expecting somebody to treat you with respect, or to follow the law and not steal from you or harm you. those are realistic, normal, healthy expectations to have. but there are times when we become disappointed in people because they didn't meet our expectations. but we have to ask ourselves, did we set the expectation too high? today i want to talk about having unrealistic expectations about people and why we should try to eradicate those from our mind. because i think many of us expect a lot. and it's complicated because having a set of expectations for how you want to be treated and for who you want to have in your life is important, healthy, and how you keep yourself safe and happy. but at the same time, we can take it too far and we can set expectations for people that are impossible to reach.

over the past few years, we've experienced a lot of maximalism across the board. it's been a major lifestyle trend. it's been a major fashion trend. it's been a present theme over the past few years. but i feel like its trendiness might be coming to a temporary end. maybe it's just me, but i've been feeling this collective fatigue. we're sick of it, we're tired of it, we're ready to go back to minimalism. and so i present to you part one of a three part series on minimalism. today in part one, we're going to be discussing the minimalist lifestyle.

last summer, my dad and i spent a month in europe. and before we left for our trip, my dad said, i challenge you to fit everything you need for a month in europe in a carry-on suitcase. at first i was like, there's no way. some people would call me an over packer. but even when i over-pack, i still end up wearing the same outfit the entire trip and half of my suitcase remains untouched. so last summer when my dad said, i dare you to fit everything into a carry-on suitcase, i was unsure because i was so used to the ease of having everything and more that i could possibly need in my suitcase. a month is a long time and a carry-on is small. but although it was challenging, i enjoyed it immensely.

today we're going to be discussing minimalism in fashion. fast fashion is the business model of replicating recent high fashion design trends, mass producing them at low cost, and bringing them to retail stores quickly while demand is at its highest. trend cycles are insanely fast nowadays, and fast fashion is thriving because a lot of people want to participate in the trends as they happen. but i think a lot of people are sick of this. number one, it's exhausting and expensive to keep up with all the trends when they're constantly changing overnight. but also, people are starting to realize the impact that being a maximalist consumer is having on the environment and even their wellbeing. i think a lot of people are ready to dial it back and return to a simpler fashion experience. so let's dig a little deeper on what minimalism is in fashion.

about a week ago, i had the realization that i had fallen into some bad habits. i'd been scrolling on social media a little bit too much, online shopping a little bit too much, ordering food delivery a little bit too much, and more. my brain felt cloudy. i felt anxious. i felt kind of depressed. i didn't feel as creative or as focused as i knew i could be. and i really make an effort in my life to have a healthy balance with modern convenience and entertainment, because i know how addictive these things are and how toxic they can be. but when i had this realization a week ago, i had the desire to take drastic measures. i decided i was going to do a dopamine detox. if you haven't heard of a dopamine detox, i'll explain it. and i will say this challenge, as minor as it may seem, was really eye-opening for me. it was challenging, but it was very rewarding.

today i'm doing my very first interview. we're getting into serious podcast territory. i'm bringing dr. lembke on the show today because i've been obsessed with the sneaky addictions of our modern day. you know, the addictions that our grandparents and parents are warning us about: social media, food delivery, porn, gaming… all of the addictions that we're sort of in denial of. she describes the time that we're living in now as the age of indulgence, and i've never heard this time be characterized better. it really is this age of indulgence where everything is at our fingertips, and at face value it seems incredible. but there are a lot of scary downsides. i'm going to be discussing all of this and more with dr. lembke.

i recently found myself in an unusual state of terror and fear. i've always been very afraid of bad things happening to my loved ones. but weirdly, i've never really been that afraid of bad things happening to me. in retrospect, i look at the things that i used to do when i was a teenager that were sort of careless, and it's hard for me to even comprehend now. i felt like nothing bad would happen to me. but recently, i have completely gone the opposite direction, where now i'm terrified of the world around me and how it might hurt me. and that's not healthy either, because when you're living in that state of mind, you sort of stop living your life. there's risk in everything. and you have to have a healthy understanding of what risks are worth taking and which are not. and i've sort of gone on this journey the last few months trying to find a healthy and happy medium. i'm not 100% there yet, but i'm getting much closer.

today i want to discuss the ethics of photo editing on social media. i'm not talking about upping the brightness or turning down the contrast on the photo a little bit. i'm talking about going in and changing the image completely. smoothing out your skin, making your waist a little smaller or your jaw line a little sharper. you used to have to know how to use professional photo editing software like photoshop to edit photos, and it wasn’t easy. but photo editing apps are incredibly accessible now and easy to use. it's so tempting to want to go in and tweak little things about an image so that you love it. and i think the most dangerous part about photo editing these days is that it can be impossible to spot. social media in general has had catastrophic effects on people's mental health, and that's ignoring the retouching side of things. so i'm facing a sort of moral dilemma. what I'm trying to figure out is, is it ever okay to alter your appearance in imagery?

i think all of us can look at the concept of outfit repeating and say, why is this even a topic of conversation? but what's wild to me is how common it is for people to be concerned about repeating the same outfit more than once. not only have i experienced this pressure to not repeat outfits, but i've also seen it in the world. when you go through any influencer's page on instagram, you will probably not see them wear the same thing twice. and then there are lots of people who can't be concerned with the concept of outfit repeating because they don't have that luxury. outfit repeating is absolutely a luxury. and i sort of don't even want to talk about it because by talking about it, i'm giving it more legitimacy than it deserves. but at the same time, i do want to discuss it because i think it's something a lot of people experience, whether they're fortunate enough to actually take it seriously as a concern, or if they wish that they could think of it as a concern.

when i think about it, i actually dislike a lot of people. i wouldn't say i hate a lot of people, but i definitely dislike a lot of people. now, to me, there's a big difference between dislike and hate. for the sake of today's conversation, let's look at dislike as a subtle feeling that can be much more easily controlled. i've found myself wondering recently if i'm the problem. is it wrong to dislike people? i never act upon my dislike. i never treat people that i don't like badly. i keep most of those feelings inside. so in theory, it's kind of harmless because the people that we dislike often don't really know that we dislike them. but i still feel sort of guilty about it. so let’s get into it.

there have been many times in my life where i've found myself feeling really unhappy and not knowing what the issue was. and i've often realized that in those moments, i was feeling unhappy because i was not living life for me. i was living life for everyone and everything else. i wasn't listening to my own opinions. i wasn't making decisions for me. and what's really interesting about falling into a phase like this is that you don't always notice it. it happens slowly and is not obvious. and so today i want to talk about living life for you. i want to discuss some of the sneaky ways that you can find yourself in a routine where you're not living for you, discuss what it can look like, and how to get out of it. because when you're living life truly for you, it's so freeing.

today i have a very special guest. someone who actually shifted my music taste in a big way. today we have mac demarco. when i was like 15 i found his music on vine, and i've been such a big fan ever since. i think what's so special about mac’s music is the way it always sounds like him. whether it's kind of funky, deep and sentimental, or just an instrumental, it always feels like him. his last album having almost 200 songs and being like nine hours long is so intriguing to me. he's going the complete opposite direction of the industry, and i must know more. so i present to you, mac demarco.

today i'm going to be discussing some fashion trends that i believe are underrated. it's not that these fashion trends never get worn and never get discussed, but in my opinion, they don't get enough airtime. so today i'm going to sit here and give them the airtime that they deserve.

to romanticize is by definition to deal with or describe in an idealized or unrealistic fashion; to make something seem better or more appealing than it really is. today we're talking about making a deliberate, conscious choice to romanticize life. romanticizing life became sort of a social media trend about turning mundane daily moments into magical moments. i think a lot of us feel really disconnected from the simple pleasures of life due to the sort of fast-paced, highly technological reality we live in today. we get into a routine, and certain daily activities and tasks turn into meaningless chunks of our day. romanticizing life won’t solve all of your problems, but i think this philosophy paired with a level of mindfulness and awareness can help those mundane moments in life become a lot more enjoyable.

i feel like the automatic response to a problem or conflict is to blame everyone and everything other than ourselves. it's not very automatic to run into a problem and immediately ask, did this problem arise or did this conflict happen because i did something wrong? for the last two years, i've been working on asking myself if there’s any chance that maybe i'm the problem, and reflecting on whether or not i actually did do something wrong when conflict arises. it’s a lot easier to start pointing fingers and blaming everything on everyone else. it makes us feel like we're in the power position. it allows us to play the victim in a way, which can be a much more comfortable place to be. but i truly believe that life gets better when we get into the habit of asking ourselves if we are the problem.

when i experience art, i can almost immediately determine whether or not i think it's good. but i rarely ask myself why it's good. and recently i decided to do that. what's complicated about art is that it’s subjective, and everybody connects to art differently. so good art to one person is bad art to the next person. but i do think that there is an answer to the question, what is good art? so that's what we're going to discuss today. and listen, a conversation about art can very quickly turn pretentious and cringe. but i am going to do everything in my power today to make this not pretentious and cringe.

when i woke up this morning, i decided i'm not going to think very hard today. i opened my eyes and said, today's going to be a simple day. so in honor of that, i decided i'd share with you some simple things that i like a lot. that's it. just some things that are bringing me joy in this current moment.

today we're going to be talking to one of my best friends, owen thiele. i am so excited to be interviewing a friend today because i just think it's gonna be a total hoot. owen and i have a lot in common: we're both only children, we have anxiety about the same things, we tend to like the same people… i absolutely adore him. owen is an incredible comedian and an incredible actor, and if you want to see owen in a movie, mark your calendar for july 14th and go see theater camp. okay, now we can welcome owen thiele to the stage.

when i sit and analyze the most fulfilling times of my life, i notice a lot of patterns. one thing that stands out is that during fulfilling times, i tend to have a healthy amount of self-discipline that helps create stability and joy in my life. in my own words, i think having discipline is striving towards an ultimate goal that feels worthy to you, and striving to be the best person you can be. but if discipline were as easy to master as just forcing yourself to do what's right and forcing yourself to take the steps to reach your ultimate goal, then we would have nothing more to talk about. discipline is complicated because not only is it challenging to cultivate in the first place, but just as much as we need to have discipline, we also need to treat ourselves gently and with compassion. and finding that balance is a challenge in and of itself.

this is a topic that i have avoided forever, because i never wanted to have to admit to my own addiction publicly. but here i am today admitting to you that i have a very severe nicotine addiction. not a day has gone by in the last five years where i haven't consumed nicotine in some form. but recently, i decided that i want to try to quit. and because i'm at a place in my life where i'm trying to quit, i feel morally okay about discussing the topic. i was never proud of my nicotine addiction. in fact, i was always kind of ashamed of it. but two weeks ago, i decided i was done. and now this is a topic i feel comfortable discussing.

i got the idea for this episode because i was quite literally procrastinating writing an outline for a podcast episode. i didn't have an idea for a topic, or the mental energy to sit down and brainstorm. and i realized, everyone struggles with this. at times the human condition can feel like this constant fight against procrastination. we always have things that we need to do, and simultaneously we have so many things that we'd rather be doing that are more fun, lighthearted, and enjoyable. and the thing about procrastination is that not only does it cause stress, but it can also impact our self-esteem. it’s something that a lot of us only vaguely understand. we know we do it, but we don't fully understand why we do it or how we can stop doing it. so let’s talk about it.

i think i'm finally at a place now where i can look back at my high school memories and i can laugh. and it's such a relief because prior to now, anytime i'd remember an embarrassing high school memory, it was still too cringe to me. but i'm finally at a place now where i think i'm ready to share some of these memories, and what a beautiful thing that is. because cringey moments can haunt you. but eventually you get to a point where they become fun, funny, and somewhat a source of joy. so all of that to say, today i'm going to be telling some of my embarrassing high school stories.

today we're going to be talking to michael bess. michael bess is chancellor's professor of history at vanderbilt university, where he has been teaching for the past 34 years. he's the author of five books, and a specialist in 20th and 21st century europe with a particular interest in the interactions between social and cultural processes and technological change. today i want to discuss with him how technology has impacted our quality of life over the past few centuries. i also want to discuss the ways that we might romanticize the past. and last but not least, i want to discuss how the internet impacts our perception of our current times, and how that's possibly very damaging. just sit back, relax, and enjoy my conversation with the incredible michael bess.

about two months ago i was kind of going through it, and around that time i had a trip coming up. without realizing, i sort of put off dealing with the challenges that i was being faced with in my life. subconsciously i thought this trip was going to just erase my problems. and i very quickly realized that problems follow you everywhere. i was on this trip dealing with all these unresolved issues because simply being in another country wasn't going to fix anything. reality hit me hard, and there was no ignoring it. this experience made me hyper aware of how damaging it can be to run away from your problems. so, all that to say, today we're gonna be discussing running away from our problems.

recently i watched a movie that was pretty good, and one of the last scenes provided a quote that has been stuck in my brain ever since. the main character writes down in the margins of a book, “happiness is only real when shared.” now i rarely see a quote and think to myself, i've actually never thought that before. but this quote blew my mind. i know we're gonna be fighting against cringe this whole episode because it is a little corny to talk about a quote to the length that i'm about to talk about a quote. but there's just so much truth here and unfortunately for you, i just have to.

i have a feeling that the parents are gonna love this episode. certain topics just make me fall into mom mode, where all of a sudden i'm saying that the internet is poison and that marijuana is the devil's lettuce. i'll tell you to go outside and touch grass, and i have a feeling that today's topic will send me straight into mom mode. i've recently noticed quite a few trends online that are really toxic and really unhealthy and really bad for society overall, in my opinion. and they've just been sitting in my mind, rotting, growing mold, growing fungus, and i just wanna discuss them today.

today we're going to be talking to dr. lori gottlieb. she’s a psychotherapist, author of the new york times bestselling book “maybe you should talk to someone,” and co-host of the “dear therapists” podcast. she’s an expert on all things therapy, mental health, psychology, you name it. i wanna specifically talk to her about romantic relationships. there's a lot of challenges that come with dating in the age of technology, and i'm curious to talk to a psychotherapist about the challenges of dating in our modern world, while also just talking about relationships in general.

we all know stylish people, and it's easy to decide whether or not someone's stylish just by looking at them. it's pretty obvious. but it's much harder to describe what makes somebody stylish, or why somebody is stylish. so today i want to discuss what truly makes someone stylish. but here's something i want to discuss before we even get into it; not everybody wants to be stylish or looks at clothes as a way to express themselves. and that's okay too. but if you're into fashion and expressing yourself in that way, it can be an incredible hobby. but it’s just not mandatory, and it's not for everyone.

today we're going to be talking about us, because today's topic, parasocial relationships, addresses the type of relationship we have. parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party (the persona) is completely unaware of the other's existence. i've experienced both sides of a parasocial relationship, and as with all things, it can be a little toxic on both sides. but it can also be incredibly positive and healthy. i think my goal with this conversation is to just instill self-awareness and mindfulness around this topic so that both of us can have it in the back of our minds that we have to keep our parasocial relationships under control so that they can be a positive and healthy thing.

in life we're presented with a lot of questions that don't have concrete answers, and there are two ways that we can solve these problems. we can go with our gut instinct, which is our brain and body just automatically choosing the answer without thinking consciously. or we can come to a conclusion by really consciously analyzing the problem or question at hand; what are the pros and cons of taking each action, et cetera? i'm personally someone who tends to go with my intuition. that's not to say that i don't ever come to a conclusion based on heavy analysis, because i definitely do.

today i'm going to be interviewing one of my favorite, if not my favorite designers. she is the founder of her brand bode. maybe by definition bode is a men's wear brand, but bode is very much more than that. bode is a luxury brand with this sort of casual, vintage, eclectic edge. her brand is truly the epitome of vintage-inspired clothing, like she fucking nails it. bode makes it feel like you plucked it out of a store in the fifties. the brand really is helping to preserve the magical, beautiful craftsmanship of the past that's kind of slowly dwindling out of our day-to-day life. and bode is really one of one. i present to you emily adams bode aujla.

for the last few months, i've been on a journey. now that's not saying much because i'm always on some sort of journey. my particular journey as of recent has been rebuilding my social life. i didn't have a social life for a really long time because i didn't want one. for the past few years, all i've talked about is the importance of independence. but arriving to this point of independence, weirdly made me crave friendship. all of a sudden, after years of not really prioritizing friendship, my subconscious knew when i had arrived at a good place, that it was time to make friends again. it was like my subconscious told me, okay, it's time. it's time for you to go back out into the world and you need to put effort into your social life again.

i'm gonna be honest, i'm kind of falling apart over here. i lost my voice. i think it's because i've been singing in the car more than usual. i'm also on my period and i'm in a lot of pain. i'm really cramping up. yeah, i'm falling apart but i'm happy to be hanging out with you today, and turns out, despite all that i'm going through, i'm ready to use my brain. not my entire brain, but i'm in the mood to use seventy-five percent of my brain. i decided i wanted to play a little game of would you rather. a lot of times would you rather questions are like, “would you rather eat an eyeball or all of your fingernails?” that's fun, but i wanted to play would you rather in a way that really uses that seventy-five percent of my brain. so i went online and i found some vaguely philosophical would you rather questions. i think we're gonna have fun today.

we are all constantly receiving advice whether we asked for advice or not. we can receive advice from people that we know, like our family, friends, teachers, or bosses. we can also receive advice from less intimate sources, like random people on the internet, like me, or authors of books or writers of movies. we're constantly being thrown advice from all angles, and as a result, we're constantly sorting through advice deciding what the f**k to do with it. and a lot of that happens subconsciously because the giving and receiving of advice is such an automatic part of interacting as a human being. there are a lot of variables when it comes to this type of social interaction, but today i wanna zoom in on a specific type of advice interaction.

today we're talking about being rejected. the thing about rejection is that we’ve all experienced it before, and we're all going to continue to experience rejection. it's just one of those things that we can't avoid. we can do everything right, and we're still at risk of being rejected. and i truly believe that when something's inevitable in life, it's much better to focus on finding a healthy way to handle it, than trying to avoid it at all costs.

approximately three months ago i decided to embark on the journey to quit nicotine for good, and today's episode is going to be focusing on my experience thus far trying to quit. it's been incredibly hard. the reason why i feel the need to say how hard it is, is because people underestimate how severe nicotine addiction can be. i will say, it depends on the person and the level of addiction. but whether you or someone else in your life is addicted to nicotine and trying to quit, it's important to remember that it's not that easy. i was addicted to the vape specifically. that was my kryptonite. so with that in mind, i want to describe to you all of the different ways i’ve tried to get off the vape, and where i'm at in my process today.

i rarely discuss the business side of my life. and i think that's for two reasons: number one, i fear it's boring, and number two, I feel like it doesn't align with how people see me. but today i'm finally going to let the business-minded side of myself speak. a few years ago i started my coffee company, chamberlain coffee. i had this rare opportunity to start a business with little to no experience because my career on the internet gave me the resources to reach out to people who knew how to make a business vision come to life. and throughout this experience, i've not only learned a lot, but have also grown an appreciation for the process itself. so today i'm going to list 10 of the challenges that i've faced running a business, and talk about what those 10 challenges taught me.

we're all constantly waiting on our favorite creatives to put out their next project. and the reason for that is because art takes a long time to create. i think a lot of us know this, but we forget this. i see a lot of fans online saying things to their favorite creatives like, hello, where's the next project? did you forget about us? are you being f*****g lazy? it's very easy to believe that for artists, being creative is just automatic. and if they're not coming out with stuff left and right, it's because they don't want to. but that's very far from the truth. so today i want to talk about why good art takes time.

the concept of soulmates can be a relief to people, a nightmare, complete b******t, or somewhere in between all of those things. everyone has their own unique perspective on the concept, and it's pretty rare to find two people who see it exactly the same. humanity as a whole has believed in soulmates for a very long time. though it's a very old concept, it has evolved to fit our current time. this isn't some sort of niche spiritual idea. this is very mainstream and even has sort of a trendy feel in some ways. so today we're going to talk about the concept of soulmates.

unsolicited fashion advice.

it's 2016. i'm 15 years old, and for the first time i'm realizing that life is challenging. i'm becoming obsessed with inspirational quotes. i think i’m having a philosophical awakening. now imagine during this time someone comes up to me and says, hey emma, what's your favorite quote? well, my answer would've been - everything happens for a reason. during that time, that quote answered all the questions that i needed answered, because my challenges were painfully simple. i thought i would get that tattooed on my body somewhere as a teenager, and i thank my lucky stars every day that i didn’t because i'll tell you, inspirational quotes look really good on the surface, but when you start to analyze them, they usually have some holes.

about a month ago, i posted a casual selfie, and i saw comments saying “wow, she looks tired,” and “she looks kind of sick.” i was like, wait a minute. i’m well rested and healthy… what's everyone going on about? and then it clicks. i'm not wearing makeup in that selfie. at first it was sort of disturbing to me that i was getting so many comments about how tired or sick i looked just because i wasn't wearing makeup. but then i had an epiphany. so that's what we're going to be talking about today: how makeup impacts the way that we perceive natural appearance.

today i present to you, amanda montell: a writer, linguist, and fellow podcast host. amanda has written three books. one of them, the age of magical overthinking, is about to come out. today i want to zoom in on one of our many common interests. she wrote an entire book about cults, the language used in cults, and cult-like behavior, and i'm excited to discuss how we participate in cult-like behavior on a day-to-day basis without even realizing it. she's really investigated the line between what is a cult and what is just cult-like behavior. and this is something I am curious to explore because I think it's a little bit more relevant than we even realize.

since high school, i've been cycling between two phases: wow, this girl is productive, and wow, this girl can't get anything done. when i'm in a productive phase, working comes easily to me. and when i'm in an unproductive phase, it's the complete opposite. during these unproductive times, i take a step back and analyze what's happening. and what i'm trying to figure out is am i being lazy, or am i burnt out? so today, i want to talk about the difference between laziness and burnout because they are kind of hard to distinguish, but understanding where you’re at helps you get back on track.

throughout my life, i've gone through phases of low self-esteem. this is normal, we all experience this. i'm not super excited to admit this, but for as long as i can remember, phases of low self-esteem have caused me to fixate on one person that i believe is better than me, and compare myself to them. their appearance, their relationship or lack thereof, their friend group, their job, their family situation… everything. i chose to admit this today because i'm talking about comparison. it’s a pretty normal human instinct, and it's important that we have the ability to compare, but when it comes to comparing ourselves, it gets a little bit more complicated. so let's figure out why we compare ourselves to others.

i had an epiphany recently that for my entire life thus far, i’ve been trying to grow up way too fast. in middle school and high school i wanted to find a boyfriend, have my first kiss, and lose my virginity. i wanted to do all of these things that i knew deep down i wasn't ready for, but my peers would praise me if i did. in my early twenties, i wanted to be more like a real adult: retire nightlife and start focusing on settling down and finding my future husband. but i had this sort of epiphany recently where i was like, hold on a minute. i'm 22 years old and I'm trying to live like 40 year old. why am i not giving myself the space and room to be young? so today we're going to be discussing the natural, self-inflicted desire to grow up too fast.

today i'm going to be speaking with ricky kalmon, a hypnotist. my curiosity around hypnosis has been growing recently because i've been going through this journey trying to quit nicotine, and one of the options I read about online to help me quit was hypnosis. i want to understand how and why it works, and honestly, what it even is in the first place. ricky is a hypnotist and a mindset expert. he speaks on how our mindset can be the greatest tool in achievement, reducing stress, and increasing productivity and potential. so i present to you, ricky kalmon. i can't wait.

yesterday wasn't a great day for me. it all started when i showed up to my morning workout class and i realized that i had been booked on the 13th treadmill. i walked into the class and saw the treadmill with a big number 13 on it and i was like, this is bad luck. then on the way home, i saw a dead black cat on the side of the road. by then i was really freaking out because black cats are supposed to be bad luck and a dead black cat must be really bad luck. i was having all this anxiety about these bad omens, and i don't even know where i got those ideas from. do i even believe that those things are bad luck deeply to my core? no. but i realized yesterday that i am very superstitious and i hadn’t ever acknowledged it.

is it just me, or is it starting to feel like romantic love is an illusion? i'm starting to question the concept of romantic love and what that experience is for us as humans because of my own life experiences, but also because the statistics are pretty damning. according to the american psychological association, approximately 40 to 50% of first marriages end in divorce. it's so fascinating to me that something so fundamental to human life seems destined to fail. as i'm maturing and facing these realities, i can't help but ask the question, why? and my brain immediately goes to, well, romantic love must just be an illusion.

here i go again, analyzing another corny quote. on today's agenda, we have a quote that is beloved on social media right now: i don't chase, i attract. we all have a tendency to chase, especially in romantic relationships. i think the concept applies in career as well, but it really hits home for romantic relationships. so today i want to deep dive on this quote specifically within the context of romantic relationships, because i think that’s where it’s the most impactful.

when i was about 12 years old, i read a quote by john lennon that said “when i went to school, they asked me what i wanted to be when i grew up. i wrote down happy. they told me i didn't understand the assignment, and i told them they didn't understand life.” from that point forward, anytime anyone would ask me, emma, what do you wanna be when you grow up? i would answer happy. and so today i thought we would investigate happiness because it's a word that we use so often, but we rarely take a minute to step back and ask ourselves, what actually is this? how do we truly acquire this feeling? so let's investigate it together today.

i had my first fashion identity crisis at the end of high school. that's when i started developing my personal style, and it took years to implement into my actual life. after my initial epiphany, i assumed that for the rest of my life I would have this sort of gradual evolution of my personal style. but apparently i was wrong because recently i found myself in another fashion identity crisis. and even if you're not somebody who uses fashion as a way to express yourself, you still will have periods in your life where you want to change your style too. so today i wanted to discuss how to change your style in a way that's efficient, smart, responsible, and effective.

what does it mean to have good taste in art, music, interior design, fashion, movies, photography? i almost get a gut reaction when i see something and decide whether or not i think it is a sign of good taste. but does it even exist, or is it too subjective? i'm not fully convinced that it doesn't exist, but we're going to go down the rabbit hole together and try to answer the question, what does it mean to have good taste?

my favorite type of content to consume online is content that tells me how to live my life. i've adopted so many habits and hobbies from other people that really inspire me. but this overexposure to different opinions and ways to live a good life can also be a bad thing. i think when it becomes a real problem is when we become obsessed with implementing a new habit or hobby into our lifestyle because it really worked for somebody else, but it's just not working for us. wasting our time trying to implement something into our lives that doesn't work prevents us from finding the things that do work. and i have a ton of examples to share of things that i tried to make fit for a little bit too long.

today i'm going to be speaking to dr. lisa miller. for so long, i've believed that spirituality and science cannot coexist. but what's so interesting about lisa to me is that she is a living example of the connection between spirituality and science. dr. lisa miller is the founder of spirituality mind body institute at columbia university. she's a professor of psychology, and has spent over a decade studying the impact of spirituality and religion on the brain. for those of you who are spiritual, this conversation with lisa is going to be like music to your ears. for those of you who are not spiritual, this might feel like a lot. but i encourage you to open your mind and heart, and let's get spiritual with lisa.

i feel like i owe you an update on my nicotine quitting journey. last time you heard, i had gotten through the first few weeks of painful withdrawal filled with anxiety, depression, sleepless nights, too much sleeping, intense cravings, mood swings, et cetera. and i had switched over from using a vape to using nicotine pouches. but i have a really disappointing update for you; it's going terrible. in fact, i have a vape in my pocket right now. i'm not proud to tell you this. i don't know if it's healthy to feel ashamed because i guess i'm doing my best to quit and inspire others to quit, but i'm not leading by example very well right now. but i want to tell you how this happened so that we can both learn from it.

i've always been somebody who felt comfortable being incredibly vulnerable in real life and online. what does that say about me? after reading through the reasons why humans overshare, it seems like the line between oversharing and being vulnerable is very blurred. so today i wanted to dig into what the difference is between oversharing and being healthily vulnerable with others.

i feel like everyone falls into one of two categories. category number one, mysterious unknown category. number two, super open, super honest, super vulnerable. i personally fall into the second category. everyone knows so much about me. mysterious people are the opposite. they keep all of their information close to heart and they never find themselves in a place where they're like, oh my god, everyone knows so much about me. and i envy that. so today i wanted to sort of figure out whether or not i should try to be more mysterious.

we all get embarrassed. it's part of being a human being. embarrassing things happen to me all the time, and that can't be prevented. but i think the feeling of embarrassment can be prevented. i used to think that it was sort of out of my control. but today i'm gonna be sharing with you how i keep embarrassment to a minimum in my life.

it's an online trend to post about wellness routines. well listen, i’m here to participate in the wellness content, because i’m about to lay out for you my wellness routine. and before you're like, "emma, no, stop. we don't care" - i know that. but i'm gonna tell you anyway.

listen. nobody wants to talk about this. i'm talking about it but i don't want to because it's mortifying. this is a behavior that we all participate in privately. maybe we discuss this with our closest friends, but there's something so deeply personal and private about this that i'm absolutely terrified to discuss it today. but, you know what? we're doing it… social media stalking.

i spent the last few years peacefully unbothered by hookup culture. why? because it was none of my business. i was in a relationship and hookup culture is for the singles. but it's back on my mind because these days i'm back to being a lone wolf. and with that comes hookup culture being relevant in my life. i wanted to reexamine the concept with a fresh lens. so, you know what? i dabbled a little bit, and i wanna share what i found because i came out of it with some solid conclusions. so let's discuss the pros and cons of casual hookups.

breakups are almost an inevitable part of life. but despite how fucking awful they are, they can also be really transformative in a positive way. i've gone through a handful of breakups throughout my life, and i've learned a lot. so i'm going to be doing multiple episodes of breakup advice. this is episode one, where i'm going to be talking about the period before the breakup, the breakup itself, and the week or two following the breakup.

here we go, this is part two of breakup advice. this is about the equally challenging and arguably more complicated phase of the breakup. in some ways it's easier because you're through the thick of it. you've survived the first week or two after the breakup. but now you kind of have to get back to your life, and that's why it's complicated.

2023 is almost over and in some ways thank god, and in some ways, oh no. i'm getting to the age where getting another year older is starting to become daunting. i don't want to think about how quickly time is moving, but i do still have the mental bandwidth to talk about fashion. so in honor of us approaching a new year, i thought i would predict some fashion trends for 2024.