It’s big, it’s as colourful as a bag of sweets and it wants YOU to become a space-faring superstar. Xia: Legends of a Drift System was one of the Kickstarter success stories of 2013, and a retail version is finally upon us, complete with pre-painted ships and metal space-coins. Quinns has buckled himself into the driver’s seat of this board-behemoth to deliver the official SU&SD verdict.

First off, be warned that there is an unexpected disco interlude starting at 06:46. Brendan spilled some raw beats on our editing PC and the resulting funk has gotten into the motherboard, but we’re uploading a fix (with slightly better overall audio) now. It should be up by midnight GMT. Second off, allow us to present the crown jewel in our Expansionanuary festivities! A ginormous Let’s Play of us finishing a full-size game of Cosmic Encounter, proving once and for all in a controlled, scientific environment just how much fun this game can be. Enjoy, everybody!

This week, Matt and Quinns peek into the paperwork of Last Will, a game that challenges you to declare bankruptcy faster than your friends. A game of champagne, boat cruises, fabulous mansions, horses and you in the middle, trying to get rid of all of it. But wait! There’s more! We’ve also played the expansion Last Will: Getting Sacked, which sees you having to do away with that beastly job of yours that insists on paying you every turn. A fabulously expensive marriage might be just the thing.

It’s here! XCOM: The Board Game is now in shops the world over, with its computerised component, its little plastic snipers and its starched lil’ navy blue box. Oooh. You want it. OR DO YOU? Let Quinns and Paul cut a path for you through the jungle of hype around this game, all the way to the UFO crash site of truth. “Welcome to Earth,” indeed.

With spring’s sunshine is still weeks away, Paul decides to review the classic card game San Juan, packing sugar and indigo off to make money. Sent abroad to set up SU&SD’s (North) American office, with a rather unclear remit he also laments the limited nature of board game printings and distribution.

Following on from XCOM, it’s time for our second big review of the year. Doomtown: Reloaded is a portable game with some big ideas. It’s a generous box with a golden future. It is, in fact, the first real competitor to the awesome Android: Netrunner. Is this town big enough for the both of ’em?

First, there was nothing. For our evenings were without form, and void. Then there was Cyclades, which let us fill them with a really lovely, accessible war game. Then came the expansion of Cyclades: Hades, and there was a great sadness because we thought it was rubbish, and said as much. And then there was a great rejoicing, as Cyclades: Titans graced the shelves of our shops, and brought joy to our hearts. Finally came this Cyclades: Titans review, so the people could sit, and listen, and see if it was shit or not. So it is written, and so it shall forever be.

Remember when we told you that Skull was the game that’ll make you and your friends shout the loudest? Monikers might be the funniest game we’ve ever reviewed. Weirder still, it might be more than 100 years old. We’ve always suspected that old things were the best, but now we know. Time to cancel those forthcoming reviews of Armada and Dragon’s Gold. Next week, we’ll be reviewing whist, football and tuberculosis.

Last year, we were invited by the UK Society of Megagame Makers to save the world from aliens in a colossal 60 person game titled “Watch the Skies”. You can see our floundering, corruption and “charm offensives” as the nation of Japan in this video. This year the Society invited us back for the sequel. With over three hundred players, this would be the most mega megagame ever staged. A game so big that the Pope was not only a player, he had his own team. Could we save the world from aliens for a second time? Get yourself a hot drink, a comfy chair and find out. Enjoy, everybody!

OH MY GOD, it’s the thrilling conclusion to our Let’s Play of the largest game anyone’s ever played, ever. Confused? Find part one here, and find our video of the original Watch the Skies here. Palpitations of excitement? Find sedatives here. And find the actual URL of the music we used here, as we misspelled it in the edit. If these videos look like they were a whole load of work from a whole lot of people, they were. And we did it for you, personally. Enjoy.

So it turns out that Paul has actually always had something of a fascination for big ships. It also turns out that Panamax mixes big ships with big business and (very) big bucks. After all these years, could this be the way that Paul finally makes his millions? Of course not. It’s a board game. Still, it could be good, right? Let’s see what Shut Up & Sit Down’s North American Correspondent thinks in a video made in the style of some of our very first reviews.

Imperial Settlers is a civilization-building game with the best art we’ve ever seen in almost five years of running Shut Up & Sit Down. Nations, on the other hand, looks like a Soviet spreadsheet. Don’t make your purchase just yet, though. Let Quinns take you by the hand and lead you through one or two shocking twists, down to a stream of cleansing consumer wisdom. You need to know the truth about both of these boxes.

We’ve got a HUGE game for you this week! Witness might look like a pre-schooler up-ended their homework over your table, but it’s actually an inventive, sexy game of solving mysteries from the publishers of Sherlock Holmes: Consulting Detective. But while Sherlock is a game of wild theories and sweet sherries, Witness is no less than a game of swearing, sweating and whispering. Come take a look. You won’t regret it.

Does anyone remember our written review of the fabulous Star Wars: Armada? No? Of course not. You lot are visual creatures. You need to watch us nudging these tiny Star Destroyers and tinier X-Wings around the table before you’ll believe a word of it. Today, we proudly present a full, 300 point game of Armada between Quinns and his friend Lovely Tim, bolstered with the first wave of expansions, including such vessels as the Star Potato and the Long Fellow(?).

Who doesn’t enjoy a little bit of empire-building now and then? Paul certainly does, which is why he was excited to look at Deus this week, something he did entirely of his own choosing and under no sort of godly compulsion. With a modular board, lots of little wooden pieces to arrange and a huge deck of cards representing everything from legions to laboratories, could this be a new favourite game of centurions and conquest?

Oh snap! Welcome to the Dungeon is the best Japanese game since Love Letter, the best bluffing game since Skull, Iello’s new edition is gorgeous and it’s on shop shelves right now! Nobody’s saying you have to buy this. We wouldn’t dream of it. Just don’t come tweetin’ to us when it’s sold out in a month’s time.

What’s this, sneaking into Friday’s schedule? Why, it’s a review of Plaid Hat’s hotly anticipated Specter Ops, a hidden movement game from one of the industry’s most renowned publishers. Paul takes a long, hard look at the game and… well, has anyone taken a long hard look for Paul recently? Actually, it’s probably best not to. He appears to have both gone missing and gone a little… mournfully malfunctional. This is the first time that’s happened since last time. Do let us know if you spot him, or even any part of him. Probably don’t approach him, mind. Best not dwell on that. Have a lovely weekend!

The English language version of Spyfall is finally available! …And stock has immediately drained out shops the world over like a vodka martini through a sieve. Don’t worry, friends! Operating in a dangerous web of international intrigue, and with a little help from Starlit Citadel, Team SU&SD has secured a review copy. At last, we’re here to tell you if this party game live up to the hype.

Buckle up, boardkids! It’s time for Team SU&SD to tackle the Official 38th Best Board Game of All Time: Trajan. A game of thrashing as many victory points as you can out of Ancient Rome. Don’t believe what you’ve heard. Shut Up & Sit Down can still handle heavy eurogames. …or can they?

After failing to steal a miniature AT-ST in last year’s Gen Con special, Matt, Paul and Quinns have come together to deliver the definitive, official verdict on Star Wars: Imperial Assault. Is it better than its predecessor, Descent 2nd Edition? Why is Paul grunting at the camera? And why does Quinns look so sad? You’ll have your answers to all this, AND MORE.

SU&SD is host to a grand old game today! Fief is a negotiation-heavy wargame that’s been around since 1981, and a fancy new edition titled Fief: France 1429 has just arrived. What will the boys make of it? This review features a special segment on WHEN BOARD GAMES GO BAD. It’s a tear-jerker.

While the rest of team SU&SD is away at GenCon, engaging in all sorts of cardboard debauchery, Paul takes the opportunity to sneakily make a video about an old classic and personal favourite, explaining why he thinks Carcassonne deserves the video treatment. He also cooks himself.

Following our review of the beautiful Samurai on Wednesday, Quinns is reviewing classic game Shogun! Which means it’s retroactively Japan week and you should all act accordingly. It’s worth watching this review just for the fabulous [REDACTED]. How does it work? Where did it come from? We just don’t know! Ha! Please stop asking such silly questions.

Oh no. Just as our Let’s Play of Resistance: Avalon forever branded Matt as a sneaky bastard, so this Let’s Play of Two Rooms and a Boom is going to designate Quinns as a ruthless brute. If we keep this up no member of SU&SD will be respectable. If you’re not sure how to play Two Rooms and a Boom, definitely go check out the publisher’s fantastic, tiny teaching video right here. Or just jump straight in like some kind of mad video-ferret! It’s up to you.

Recently we tweeted asking which “problem players” you struggle with on a game night, and we’ve never seen a response like it. Our grumpometer actually shattered and we had to send Matt out for a new one. Clearly you guys could do with a helping hand, so to go along with our Tips for Rules Explanations and An Intro to Board Gaming For Your Friends, we now have this! With a little help from us you’ll be cool as a cucumber.

This week, Paul takes a trip to the clinic, as a result of looking at another new title from Plaid Hat Games. To everyone’s surprise, he finds himself deckbuilding with Ashes: Rise of the Phoenixborn. Deckbuilding! Whatever will happen next? Seriously, what will happen next? Paul’s been unable to get hold of Quinns since setting up the North American office and now he’s acting a little out of character.

“The Resistance” are sacred words around these parts, as in “Werewolf”. These games of lying and double-dealing have defined Shut Up & Sit Down. The thought of a brand new new hidden role game entering the genre is almost unthinkable! Until today. Mafia de Cuba doesn’t just look good. It feels good. It sounds good. It smells tolerable. Of course we had to check it out.

Porta Nigra! It’s a new eurogame, all about the famous Nigras that live within the mossy depths of the Porta dimension. …Ok, so maybe we’re not entirely clear on what a “Porta Nigra” is. But by god, that won’t stop us from reviewing this hype-filled new release.