Chrysler, I want to be a fan of you but you make it tough when you crank out Pow-Pow Powerwheels. And yet, this wasn't a failure. Why? Look at it. It screams MUSCLE MILK and only does preacher curls.

The Stage-2 DeLorean is the DMC we could have had if John Z. had just a few more years to get things right. Now that we're no longer star struck by stainless gull wings, we see that the DeLorean is Norma Jean, not Marilyn.

Smart Fourtwo: when a Prius isn't pretentious enough. It's a tiny car that's full of itself. When you exit this jeweler's display box, you have to re-assure everyone at the block party that, yes, it's a good car.

The SRT-4 is the souped-up version of the 2nd-Gen Neon. You're looking at the last hurrah before Chrysler stopped making small cars. Right, the Dodge Neon was one-inch longer than the base model Caravan, I know. For three years, this Neon was the 2nd fastest car Chrysler made, behind the Dodge Viper.

This bike will kill you if you don't fear and respect the crêpe-thin margin of error between orgasmic adhesion and high-siding, ass-over ladder-piercings, though your principal's front lawn.

This is the 170hp hatchback that finally bested the pompous Honda Civic Si. Ford Focus ZX3 SVT: The official car of Senior Skip Day and the churning white froth of teen apathy and the crisis that arises between individuality and conformity.

ST stands for "See Tanya? It's a family car. It's perfect for our first child. These seats hug you. We can treat ourselves. We don't have to get the base model. We can treat ourselves to the high trim. This one has navigation. It gets good mileage. Ford is really good these days. What are these dials? I don't know. They probably don't mean anything. Oh look big strong brakes! Yes, yes, this car is safe. I've sold my RX-7 like you asked... no more fast cars for me... nope. I promise. Yes. You like it? Good, let's buy it."

This is RCR's car. The first-generation Honda Fit was produced when Honda was coasting though senior year because he earned three A's in the first semester. Now it's March and he's getting lots of C's. So what if the car leaks rainwater? I'm HONDA! I'm terrific! The guidance councilor pulled Honda aside and told him ""you better get your rear in gear (guidance councilor's say this IRL) or you can say goodbye to Bucknell University!" The second generation Fits are better. They don't leak. Honda never officially admitted that the first gen-fits have horrible leakage. Dealerships have paper trails of service records showing new 1st-gen fits coming back with rainwater leakage problems caused by poor silent and in-door plastic rain barriers coming loose. Honda remains silent on this issue.