Your Brain On Cracked

For as long as there has been a film industry, concerned parents have warned kids that movies like Star Wars, Top Gun, World War Z, and Angry Birds are trying to turn them into violent, promiscuous, Satan-worshipping commies. Well, it turns out they may be right -- though half the time it's not even clear if the filmmakers are even aware of it. "Doctor" Jordan Breeding returns once again to diagnose the state of the film industry and hopefully also escape from a CIA Black Site.

Easter eggs, by definition, are fun little extras. Never does an Easter egg shatter your hold on reality, make you question the fundamentals of your existence, or send you reeling with existential horror... until TODAY. Dr. Jordan Breeding and Your Brain On Cracked return to analyze how Star Wars, Waldo, Kevin McCallister, Pokemon, Mel Gibson, and WALL-E are all tied together in a grand tale about the destruction of the universe... or something.

There are good ways and bad ways to kill off movie and TV characters that are poignant and not distracting. "Doctor" Jordan Breeding is back to talk about the bad ways in titles like Captain Marvel, Game of Thrones, Star Trek, Star Wars, Taken, and many others.

Look, let's cut to the chase - Hollywood just can't quite grasp boobs and weiners and keeps applying weirdly specific tropes to them. They make them do weird things in their movies, and alleged "Doctor" Jordan Breeding is here to set it all straight.

Superhero movies like Spider-Man, Batman, Wonder Woman, and a million others only really work if a bunch of morons in the background bumble around and do their jobs poorly. Alleged "Doctor" Jordan Breeding and Your Brain On Cracked return to point at morons and make fun of them. Like a superhero would.

Everybody loves Spiderman and Bill & Ted and also Casper exists, but even such beloved characters as these will make decisions so terrible they potentially doom the entire planet and all of humanity. You just might not always notice right away. Thankfully "Doctor" Jordan Breeding noticed, and he and Your Brain On Cracked are here to point it out for you.

Supposedly fun action movies are trying to trick you into also thinking they're smarter than they are, but alleged "Doctor" Jordan Breeding isn't about to be fooled by the MCU's or Star Wars' shenanigans.

Hollywood has some truly weird and oddly specific ideas about what food, like, MEANS, man, but alleged "Doctor" Jordan Breeding is here to dissect it all. Or... chop it up. Or whatever. You know, cooking terms.

What would happen if movie women approached sex like movie men? What if movie men did rom-coms like movie women? And why the heck don't we have a gay noir yet!? "Doctor" Jordan Breeding is back to diagnose just how angry and confused everybody would be. It's a lot, probably.

Sometimes even the most famous actors like Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds get typecast. Not as just as hotties with naughty bodies, but as, like, creatures trying to evolve into new lifeforms and stuff. "Doctor" Jordan Breeding and Your Brain On Cracked return to diagnose these disturbing trends.

The Oscars and Golden Globes are stupid because they don't include these specific acting awards I just made up. "Doctor" Jordan Breeding and Your Brain On Cracked are here to fix that.

Hollywood makes a lot of bad movies, but "Doctor" Jordan Breeding is here to help fix some of the worst ones like Twilight, Batman V Superman, Indiana Jones: Crystal Skull, and every Pirates of the Caribbean after the first one.

Hollywood writers clearly don't play sports, but that doesn't mean they don't create insane sports tropes for their movies. "Doctor" Jordan Breeding and Your Brain On Cracked return this week to also not play sports.

The MCU, DCEU, Fast & Furious and other series are all about creating cool supervillains for our heroes to duke it out with, and yet they're all starting to feel a little samey. "Doctor" Jordan Breeding and Your Brain On Cracked are here to point that out and hopefully make it all stop.

Batman movies, Harry Potter movies, and The Purge movies can't show every second of everything, but sometimes that means they completely forgot to film the funniest, weirdest parts. "Doctor" Jordan Breeding and Your Brain On Cracked are here to point those scenes out and do way more impressions than he was expecting.

Hollywood wants you to watch their bad movies, but they're really dumb at marketing according to alleged "Doctor" Jordan Breeding and Your Brain On Cracked.

Why are action movies like Fast and Furious and the MCU trying so hard to deal with family trauma anyway? Family "Doctor" Jordan Breeding and Your Brain on Cracked investigate.

Are you burned out on Harry Potter and Walking Dead? Want a Firefly replacement? "Doctor" Jordan Breeding and Your Brain on Cracked have got you covered.

Wanna learn how the pros sneak filth into movies like Cars, Willy Wonka, and Beauty and the Beast? Good news! "Doctor" Jordan Breeding and Your Brain on Cracked have got you covered.

What do Stark Trek, Star Wars The Matrix, Ant-Man, Pokemon, and Face/Off all have in common? They defeated death and now "Doctor" Jordan Breeding is going to mock them for it with a particularly unhinged installment of Your Brain On Cracked.

Sometimes movies like Despicable Me and Minority Report end RIGHT before a horrific tragedy they set up. As usual, "Doctor" Jordan Breeding and Your Brain on Cracked are going to show those endings.

The explosive YBOC Season 3 Finale focuses on how modern sci-fi movies hate you and are tweaking their tropes to better reflect how sad real life is now. And Dr. Jordan Breeding is visited by a few friends.