The Crystal Maze

Its Episode One of Season Four. This is sadly the last season starring Richard O Brien. So make the most of it! The graphics are updated, and the industrial zone is gone, to be replaced by the Ocean Zone... Contestants : Debbie Hutchings (27), Daljit Dohil (27), Ian Otley (30), Vicky Griffiths (16), Martin Lewis (32), Marilyn Chetwynd (37)

Episode Two. Utterly useless team this week. Hopeless at everything. Much running and shouting and no success. Richard is on top form as always and this lot only manage to win four crystals. Contestants : Kris Whitmore (18), Mandy Horsey (26), Tim Lewis (25), Seema Gupta (19), Jerry Price (31), Paula Jones (24)

Episode Three. Ahhh more morons in the maze. Lead by Jane Burt who is a "Contracts Administrator" whatever the hell that is. She is the team captain and utterly hopeless at it. I wonder if she enjoyed her swim in the Aztec Zone? Contracts Administrator??? So that makes me a Crystal Maze Guide Writer then? Contestants : Wendy Brown (25), Hilary Carr (26), Dave Murphey (29), Andrew Kinnon (16), Spencer Martin (24), Jane Burt (32)

Episode Four. This week, for once the team is pretty good and win nine crystals...I say pretty good, it would have been ten crystals, but one of the was dropped in game. Oh well... Contestants : Wendy Snedden (26), Sarah White (17), Michelle Gilder (28), Andrew Sansome (37), Dave Regan (28), Garry Procter (33)

Episode Five. Its another fairly good effort this week, with the team of people with weird job titles that no one has ever heard of, winning eight crystals. I must remember to apply for that job as a ceiling relocation engineer this weekend when I have time... Contestants : Anne Youngs (28), Giles Hooker (34), Fleur Beeley (22), Sally Cornall (25), Duncan King (28), David Ayling (24)

Episode Six. This weeks team are a bit useless. What a shock. They only get five crystals, and two of them go swimming this week, one in Aztec zone and one in Ocean zone... Contestants : Paul Sellars (22), David Greenhouse (27), Rachel Hewish (24), Karen Catlow (24), Clare Sardari (35), Steve Gibson (26/36)

Episode Seven. Classic set of idiots this week. They manage to get two of the team locked in games, and only win four crystals. They end up at the dome with only the four of them to play. Probably the worst performance of the whole fourth series is here. Contestants : Caroline McCann (19), Morag Monaghan (26), Tony Philpps (25), Ray Wallace (34), Ian MacGregor (32), Sharon Melarkey (32)

Episode Eight. More antics in the maze from another average set of humans. They manage to get seven crystals, but go to the dome one member short. Such is life in the crystal maze.... Contestants : Paul Brady (34), Tracey Bennett (27), Geoff Todd (32), Ilan Josephs (20), Ruth Smith (26), Chris Massey (35)

Episode Nine. Another collection of misfits, weirdos and genuinely annoying people come together to attempt the maze. The team does pretty well, but watch out for Lisa Hawkins with her Duran Duran boys haircut. She goes head first underwater in the Atec Zone Pole balance game. Classic swimming episode! Contestants : Paula Walcott (21), Graham Clark (29), Lisa Hawkins (24), Stuart Sibbald (28), Janine Palmer (34), Nick Ward (32)

Episode Ten. Another classic collection of useless pillocks, that dont realise just how useless they are. Only four crystals at the end and two lock ins. Richard just loves it! Contestants : Nicolette Hinckson (18), Julie Griffin (26), Sandra Finnimore (28), Craig Leech (17), Keith Dunthorne (27), Mark Lodge (24)

Episode Eleven. Scary haircuts return again along with the contestants. An average episode here with the usual displays of stupidity and blindness. Contestants : Rob Neasham (31), Darren Harley (23), Richard French (24), Jennie Clark (38), Rachael Black (21), Lynn Green (26)

Episode Twelve. Another epic collecion of hopless fools come to face the maze. Richard is in a reflective mood and busy building a matchstick model of his castle in the Medieval Zone. Contestants : Maria Ashworth (29), Simmi Gupta (18), Patsy Lees (38), Howard Barlow (18), Sanjay Sharma (30), Simon Dean (33)

Episode Thirteen. And so here it is. The final episode of the Crystal Maze with Richard O Brien. His replacement Ed Tudor Pole is just a poor copy of Richard. Its obvious he was just trying to be like him and failing, the audience figures fell and it was soon all over. Everyone knows now, that we all watched the show for Richard O Brien and his interaction with the Maze Morons... Another Average team in the maze, with only five crystals won. As Richard says " Stay well, look after each other and....Bye!"