A very old Woody Woodpecker reflects on his life, starting with his infancy. Woody's funny life is traced in amusing verse.

Woody Woodpecker, tired and perspiring, is walking down a dusty road of the old West carrying a heavy suitcase. Hearing a stagecoach approaching, he stands in the road thumbing a ride, but the stage passes him by in a swirl of dust. He opens his suitcase, which contains an assortment of artificial limbs used to display women's stockings, wigs, dresses, etc. Woody transforms himself into a young woman by putting on artificial limbs, a wig and a dress. Wally Walrus, driver of a stagecoach, approaches Woody in the road. Woody coyly lifts his skirt to display the shapely limbs. Wally quickly stops the stage, and Woody enters. Woody, in the coach's dining room, orders a sumptuous meal from Wally, now dresses as a waiter. Woody's wig falls off. Wally realizes his mistake, and he hands Woody a check for $30. Woody and Wally argue over the price, and Wally pulls a lever, which ejects Woody over the stagecoach roof. Woody jumps from the stagecoach and runs away. Woody then drives the stagecoach and meets the real "Buzz Buzzard the Bandit" astride a horse. Buzz forces Woody to drive to his hideout cottage. Woody, again disguised as a woman, causes Buzz's heart to flutter as he hastens to put his house in order, dress in "full dress and silk hat," and get ready to welcome Woody. A giant commotion emanates from the cottage. Woody rushes out the door with Buzz in full chase. Woody jumps into the stage, with Buzz making a close second.

When the golfing bug bites Woody Woodpecker, he's ready for the game, but the question is: "Is the game ready for him?" as he tries to match play with a power golfer. Woody's attempts to play golf are interrupted by a big, burly man who makes a bet with him.

In a long shot of an Indian village way out West, all of the tepees have TV antennas, and some of the tepees are shops displaying Indian-made wares and merchandise. In the foreground is a millinery shop with a window full of feathered hats and coats, etc.; in the rear is a barber shop, complete with revolving barber pole. We discover Woody Woodpecker in the barber's chair reading a magazine, with Indian barber Buzz Buzzard stropping the blade of a tomahawk. Buzz tests the blade's sharpness by dropping a feather, which lands on the blade and slowly splits into two parts, each part floating in the air. Buzz trims the feathers on Woody's head, then, with "Feather Tonic," he gives Woody a vigorous scalp massage which, when finished, gives Woody's head the appearance of an Indian headdress, beautiful to behold. At this time, they discover a cute Indian maiden looking in the window and admiring a feathered bonnet, so they both zip out of the shop and tip their feathers to the maid. She continues to admire the bonnet, which carries a "$2,000.00 Wampum" price tag. She first asks Woody to buy the bonnet, but he's broke; she then asks Buzz, who's also without the necessary funds. The maid, with scorn, turns up her nose and walks away, leaving the two rejected swains very dejected and alone. Buzz then suddenly spies the beautiful feather-do that Woody has and, in a vision, dreams how it would look if transferred to the maid. With a malicious grin on his face, Buzz pulls out his tomahawk and starts for Woody, intending to acquire Woody's feather bonnet for the maid. From here on, there's a fast series of gags, with Buzz determined to get the feathers and Woody avoiding him at all times. Woody finally disposes of Buzz. In the final scene, we see Woody, his feathers all gone, now adorning the Indian maiden; Woody is stripped but happy.

Woody Woodpecker lands in a sideshow at a small-town circus, where his heckling proves too much for magician Buzz Buzzard to handle. Woody's pursued by Buzz throughout the fair.

Woody's home is beset by an invasion of voracious alien termites.