1-800-MAGIC

A team of two humans and an elf engages in a firefight against a team of four trolls. One soldier (Michael Bidderman) finds that his gun has jammed. He calls a tech support hotline for help, but grows more frustrated when his instructions seem impractical during battle. Meanwhile, the troll warriors question why their boss refuses to acknowledge any of their success, instead merely reminding them not to fail their mission. Once Bidderman's gun is fixed, he storms into the battle, but disappears in a flash, to which the creatures marvel at it having "happened again," prompting one of them to claim to be "magical" and "The One."

Bidderman finds himself in a weird landscape, where he has a conversation with a talking tree named Frank, who informs him that he is "the One" and has "the Magic," despite Bidderman's insistence that there's no such thing as magic. After he says magic doesn't exist, Frank makes a good point that he's "talking to a glowing tree". Frank then informs Bidderman that he's "on the wrong side." Abruptly, Bidderman is teleported back into the firefight, but finds himself teleporting around uncontrollably. Bidderman's two teammates, meanwhile, are quickly demoralized and wish to retreat. Beakman, the creature who had earlier claimed to be "the One," steps forward and taunts them, but is suddenly shot in the head by Bidderman. Bidderman proclaims his victory, but once again involuntarily teleports away.

One of Bidderman's teammates argues with the hotline operator; the operator insists that magic doesn't exist, and claims Bidderman didn't teleport, but instead experienced some "minor lag in the system;" he then accidentally refers to the incident as teleporting before telling them not to allow Bidderman to rejoin their team. Meanwhile, Bidderman arrives back in front of Frank, who explains that Beakman was supposed to guide him through the process of magic. Bidderman sheepishly admits that he just killed Beakman; an upset Frank tells Bidderman that he'll have to figure it out on his own now, then teleports him back to Beakman's team. The trolls demand proof of Bidderman's powers before accepting him, and he spawns a blue, ghost-like monster which proceeds to attack one of them.

The blue monster continues to assault Steve, the troll with the chaingun. Bidderman attempts to fix the problem with his powers, but only ends up making things worse by summoning jagged crystals that start burning the other two trolls. Bidderman again uses his powers, and ends up accidentally resurrecting Beakman. After witnessing the mayhem Bidderman is causing with his powers, Beakman tells him he should probably just go back to the other side. Frank appears, and agrees with Beakman's assessment. When Bidderman protests his dismissal, Frank gives him a number, "1-800-MAGIC", to use if he ever needs help and has nowhere else left to turn. Bidderman attempts to rejoin his teammates, but they refuse to accept him because he is magical, especially after he accidentally turns himself into smoke. Meanwhile, Johnson (Bidderman's elf teammate) disappears, and finds himself in front of Frank, who tells him that he is "magical" and "the One". With nowhere left to turn, Bidderman calls 1-800-MAGIC, only to get a "Spell Support" hotline.