My Brother, My Brother and Me

We apologize for the audio in this week’s episode — not because we all sound bad, but because Justin sounds so good that it makes the other two sound like chumps. Also, we talk about Wienerville for about ten minutes, which probably also constitutes “bad audio.” Suggested talking points: Justin’s Jaundice, Green Acres, Furry Church, Po-Ta-Toes, BIKE ME, Justin’s Sidewalk of Stars, Visible Puppetry, A Glowing Piece of that Radical Rock

In what you could possibly consider to be a “Very Special Episode” of My Brother, My Brother and Me, we finally confess our irreversible addiction to nature’s funniest substance. Suggested talking points: Bill Cosby Jizz Coaching, Last Chance Hook-up, Object Permanence, Shitty Birdhouse, Shakespeare’s Ghost, Wedding Permission, Dipes, The Hard Spray

Did you know that zinc can absolutely wreck you? Did you know that? Zinc will send you to the moon. You will know that by the end of this, our most chemically-altered episode to date. Buckle the hell up. Suggested talking points: Alex Jones Knife Hour, Serendipity, Zinc Tripping, Gun Love, A Visable Slug, Tykel and Myler’s Food, The Works of James Joyce, Dog Pubes

This episode of MBMBaM’s got all the hot comedy stunts you could ever hope to see: Comedy flips, joke jumps and bad impressions so sick that you’ll puke. So maybe don’t listen to it in public. Suggested talking points: Comedy X-Games, Casual Headshots, Twerking, A Real Premium Rush, Birdtrain, Hulk Hogan Buttcrimes

Art thou brave enough to conquer the latest episode of My Brother, My Brother and Me? Dost thou possess the constitution to bear our sports references? Can you survive Justin’s truly horrific audio quality? You cannot. You have died. Suggested talking points: Puppy Bowl XFL, Co-Worker in the Iron Mask, Valentine Minefield, Homemade 24, Love in a Hopeless Place, Oh No, Undergroundhog

They said it couldn’t be done! Who said it? We did. Because two-thirds of us were pretty sick all week, which makes recording a podcast (or sitting upright) a harrowing task. But we love you too much to quit. It’s our biggest fault. Suggested talking points: Throwing DJ Jazzy Jeff, Netflix with John Wayne Gacy, The Rest of the Story, A quiver of dildos, the shenannies, the documentary Jack Frost

Happy Week Two of Max Fun Drive 2013! Have you donated yet? If so, we’ll provide you with a special version of this episode, edited to remove all onomatopoeic egg sounds and Jaleel White impressions. Suggested talking points: MBMBMaM 3D IMAX Re-Release, The J Files, Fast Food Bathroom, Incredible Inedible Egg, Straight Shooting, Krav McGraw, Anger Surrogate, Monstro Slash-Fic, Sonic Slash-Fic

It may be Daylight Savings Time, but we wouldn’t recommend skipping this particular hour of comedy. Also, we are very tired, and are going back to bed. Enjoy the show. Suggested talking points: How Was the Dick For You?, A Falcon Attack at Your Wedding, America’s Serious Home Videos, Daniel Day Nutchuckles, Get out of here Columbo, A Penis Pump that Plays Chris Gaines, You’re the man now dog, Dude, you’re getting Adele tickets.

Coming to you live, from exactly one day ago, it’s My Brother, My Brother and Me: St. Patrick’s Day Edition! Are you wearing green? Don’t matter. This episode’s gonna pinch your sensibilities. Suggested talking points: A Fixer for the City, Justin’s Atrocious Owl Imagery, Love Act Payment, Piracy, Comin’ up Facewards, Cute Meat

Is this episode a day late? Yes. Is it a dollar short? Absolutely not. We’d say it’s a dollar richer, since we had an extra day to ruminate on your questions, providing even more potent measures of sweet, sweet wisdom. Suggested talking points: Passover the Dutchie, Lonely Wife Swap, The Worst Fast and Furious Movie, Arby’s Reunion, Hydranting, Two Dads, Family Photos, Romantic Audiobook

It’s our first Max Fun Drive 2013 episode! We’ve got an extra long episode for you this week, featuring a showdown between the McElroys and their longtime rival-in-advice, Dan Savage. Four podcasters enter! All four leave, the best of friends. Suggested talking points: Halo Opportunities, Schadenfreude, Fabinets, Roll-Ups, Rough Mouth Stuff, A Half-Inch of Spume, Bangarang, Straight Survivor, Cleaning Montage, Walgreens Lifer, Secret Cats

After a two-week absence which we assume was as horrifying for you as it was for us, we return with an episode chock-full of pope jokes and doin’ it humor. Sometimes in the same breath. It’s good to be back. Suggested talking points: Papal Exploratory Council, High School Subtraction, Subway Spy, Suds Buds, Red Band Trailer, Giant Eagle

This week’s episode features a WORLD EXCLUSIVE debut of a track off a highly anticipated album. Please do not rip it and put it on YouTube, or Spotify, or SoundCloud, or Google Buzz. Suggested talking points: Daft Punk Gerunds, Purest Plutonium, Pass it On, McDonalds Vetting, Laundry Hog, Pants Trap, Folgers, The Streak

Shhhhhhh. Yes, we did an episode this week. But, please, listen to it at a low volume. Some of us are trying to nap off an all-day drunk. Like, most of us. Two out of three of us. Suggested talking points: Coors is Cool, Company Ink, Cyble, First Dance, Mellencamp, Cat Smooches, Chun-Li

We made a podcast for you! Sure, it’s got some rough edges, and is made of macaroni, and is not a podcast at all but rather a piece of macaroni art. But still, a LOT of love went into it. Suggested talking points: Favorite Oscars, Squatting, iButt, Dansexual, Big City Livin’, Hot Topic Apocalypse

Halfway to 300! Thanks for sticking by us through all the years, gang. We appreciate your unswerving listenership, even when things got kind of hairy. Speaking of which, today we’re talking about Randy Quaid sex tips. Suggested talking points: Correspondence, Total Wedding Recall, Ladysmith Black Travis, Kid Battle, The Quaid Coin, Shame Rectangle, Hankerin’, Garlic Salad, Rib Ticklers

Can you guys even imagine how psyched we were for the Kentucky Derby? This is a day about honoring the best that horsekind has to offer. It’s about the cream of the crop among a species that is already cream of the animal crop. Yes, please. Suggested talking points: Acid Magnate, Second Place, Pony Regrets, The Best Testicle Day, Murdermask, Wolfwhistles, DuckTales

This week, Justin announces that he’s ready to give the greatest Mother’s Day gift of all: The gift of life. He’s got a baby, in there. In that crazy womb of his. Suggested talking points: Junior Disease, Complaints, Genny Up, Patricia Chiefin, Sexual Kobayashi Maru, Rattata Frittata, Homeland, Kid Court

Who will live? Who will die? Who will be betrayed? Whose terrible secrets will be revealed? Find out on this thrilling season finale of MBMBaM. And join us next week, for more, new MBMBaM. Suggested talking points: Sweeps, In Vino Punchitas, Bully Vibe, A Cat Called Burden, Thinner and Closer, Farm Wisdom, Beeeeeees

Alternate titles for this week’s episode included “Hair Pee” and “Cool Dads and Bondage.” So, yes. Set those expectations high. Suggested talking points: Stuff Crazy People Should Know, High School Swag, Dad’s All That, Tummy Punch Love, Name Change, Sub/Dom, Jelly Batman, Badaboop

Live, from MaxFunCon, it’s My Brother, My Brother and Me’s show-closing spectacular! Well, okay, it’s not live anymore. It was live on Sunday. Now … now it’s dead, we guess?

We’re sorry for missing last week’s episode, but we think you’ll agree that the show has improved with one week’s rest. Like, this week, we talk enthusiastically about horses. When was the last time we had the energy to do that? Suggested talking points: Fat Pipes, Syncing Up, Horse Stack, Morrissey Hair, Ironic Tiesto, Whistlin’ Sarah, Papa Pockets

We’re all about forgiveness, this week. Say some bogus stuff about your racist restaurant ideas? Name your child after a cardinal direction? Are you Dog the Bounty Hunter? Come home, prodigal children. Suggested talking points: Racist Rates, Fantasy Enabler, Average American, Fantasy Football, Butt Chugging, Cardinal Directions, Sky Burial

Folks, we implore you, for the good of mankind, for the sake of your children and your children’s children, for the betterment of the entire world and all its inhabitants: Just tilt the taco. Suggested talking points: Patriotic Mash-Up, Snake Guy, Basketball Hyperkinesis, Pringles Yoga, Anger Two, Squishy Winks, Sheryl Psy

We always ask that you share each new episode with a friend, but maybe don’t do that for this one if your friend works for the government. Let’s just say we’ve got a very special, very … manhunted guest. Suggested talking points: Shnowden, Screening, Reverse Jodie Foster, Hair Sister, Plosives, Worst Christmas Ever, Bank Humpers, Craigyonce, Big Percy’s

We return, refreshed from a week of mixed drinks and dolphin kisses. This episode benefits from that refreshment, as we spend no small amount of time talking about dolphin kisses, which are probably the best kisses imaginable. Suggested talking points: Dolphin Heavenmobile, Tats, Eye Viscera Brothers, Yakov Smirnoff’s Jerk-Off Haus, Sharknado IP Theft, Wallet Chain, 5’10” Hops, Vices

Now that all three of us are on North American soil – the sweetest, most fertile soil there is! – we’re back (a tad late) to share all the wisdom of our travels. There … there isn’t much. Suggested talking points: Turbotwerk, Dangerface, Larry’s Fiesta Party on the House, Suits, Cigars, Making Fun, We’ve All Been Pregnant For Years, A Great American Legend

Our erratic summer schedules made recording impossible this week, but don’t fret: We’ve compiled our favorite bits from the earliest episodes into a one-hour nugget for you to listen to instead. Come, relive the origins of dad-lips-kissing. Take a trip back to the days of the ABBA intro. Remember the headset microphone recording quality, and then try to remember why you started listening to this show in the first place.

We’re rarely correct about most things on this podcast, but we’re not sure there’s ever been a single episode packed with so many un-truths as the one you’re about to listen to. We apologize to all Gluten-sensitive humans and leprosy-infused reindeer in advance. Suggested talking points: The New Doctor, Cialis Sisters, Jamba Jovi, Catching Up, Holofoil Blues, High School 2, Dillon the Bathroom Monster

To those of you about to re-enter your educational institutions for another nine months of grueling brain-work: We salute you. We also provide you with a new episode of our podcast, to help get you through those long, sweaty study sessions. Suggested talking points: Nasty Family Feud, Scoping It, Kissing Experiments, Fur Necessities, Stealing Sunsets, Sajak Attack, Don’t Start Susan

On this week’s MBMBaM, Travis incepts a new mammal and we provide some unsolicited dancing tips. Also, we’ve been drinking, which we never do, but we did it this time, so you get to take that journey with us. Oh! Special guest question! Suggested talking points: A basement teddy bear that tries to kill you, Lil’ Judge Lance Ito, wedding proposal must see like share subscribe with friends, Jeremy the Jackal, David Bowie’s butthole, an EMP for boners.

Fair warning: This week’s episode contains more esoteric references than usual, so we’d recommend Wikipediaing the following subjects before wading in: A Boy and His Blob, Metal Gear, Rick Moranis’ Poutine Addiction. (Also, apologies for the audio quality. Travis had to record during a tech rehearsal, meaning he literally is inside a Shop-Vac for the duration of the episode.) Suggested talking points: Podcasting Union, Parakeet Wizards, Ladder vs. Food, Frankenberry Genitals, Freshest Moment In History, Most Dangerous Shower Game, Super Smash Wedding

This week’s episode is a return to form for MBMBaM, as we explore in-depth the exploits of our favorite TGIF actors, and then talk about Pokemon for 15 straight minutes. (Pokemon is the new Horses/Ghosts.) Suggested talking points: Terrible Things, Imaginary Volleyball, The Cape, Jackson Galaxy, Disciplinary Pizza, Duffycast

We’ve got the biggest product announcement of the week for a product that is a phone but is also a tiny dead human. Also, we find a new former celebrity to inexplicably assault because we are broken inside. Suggested Talking Points: The Legend of Baggy Pants, GuyPhone Stephen, Things We Fucked Up Through History, Don’t Ever Touch The Butt, The Mask of Sean Paul

Gather round, young ones, as we regale you with our prophesies of the coming equinox. Open wide your gullets, younglings. Yummy down on this Pumpkin Spiced Latte. Sate yourself on this Fruit Brute. Suggested talking points: Lost Boy Milk, Parlor Games, Pet Daters, No Scrubs, Sword Myths, Unmoistable, Totally Sweet Hospice Cats, Bob Thompson, Unpaid Overtime Ballers

Our celebration for the arrival of our Earth’s crispest, most autumnal season continues. Grab a pumpkin, a pile of leaves and a pint of cider, and join us as — Oh, man, that cider’s just full of leaves, now. Go ahead and toss that out. Suggested talking points: Lil’ Breaking Bad, Cat School, Rice-a-Grody, Costumery, Little Caesar’s Prep, City Similarities, Centaur Myths

Can we just think of Episode 171 as non-canonical? Maybe like, a part of the extended Brotherverse? Between Justin’s Tandy 12 and Travis recording inside of an enormous actor’s mouth, things are rough, tumble and raw. Suggested talking points: Throwback Quality, Future Spoilers, Baby Hair, JGL Casing, Baby Jelly Hands, Authentic Fieri Pubes, Pretty, Chameleon Nips, Ma and Pa McDonald’s

Everything is pretty terrible at the moment. We’re not gonna sugarcoat it — it’s rough stuff. Come, friends, come and survive the looming end of days in this, our goof bunker. Suggested talking points: Downtown Confluence, Ham Denial, Off-Brand Rap, Internal Parents, Spooky Macklemore, Love Triangle, The Dark Carnival

In the second part of our “Travis is on his honeymoon so we’re improvising” special, Justin and Griffin recount some of their favorite MBMBaM memories from the early days. Suggested talking points: Freak in the bedroll, dad stew, Fergimorphs, the flannel algorithm, pores, going fetal, the Rock Lobster diet, crotch attention, fleshy acorn, Wilson Phillips

We’re back! All three of us are back! We had a rough patch there, but don’t worry — your podcast flow isn’t gonna be interrupted by any pesky wedding rituals for like, three weeks or so. Suggested talking points: Eatotron, The Ron Paul Extranet, Shoplifting, Tick Tock Barber Shop, Guy Fieri’s Rat Fans, Herald Lover, Stealing Channing Tatum

Happy birthday to all three brothers, because all three of them definitely have the same birthday, because really, what kind of parent would give two of their kids the same birthday and then leave the third one out in the cold? CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE PARENTS THAT CRUEL? Suggested talking points: Birthdaze, Martins and Sheens, Curse Squad, Online Publishing, Shoplifting Update, Horse Fuzzy, Candy Crime, Subway Hacks

HOW DID WE GO A WEEK WITHOUT KICKING OFF THORWATCH 2013? Of all the times we have failed you — and boy, have there been many of those times — this is arguably our worst slip-up to date. Suggested Talking Points: Thorwatch 2013, Attorney Beards, Maid in Manhattan, Local Shark Tank, Ted Christiandad, Subway Hacks, Grindr Diaries

Happy Thanksgiving everybody! We hope you remembered that Thanksgiving is this week, because we most certainly did not. Suggested talking points: London Vinegar, iPhone 63, Fleshy Mannequins, Purse Mystery, Subway Hacks, Double Ghosts, Undercover Fat Boss, Badminton Lethality

We know we’re a bit late in telling you this, but the McElroy brothers are here for all your turkey-cooking advice needs. Step one: Visualize the turkey. See it in your mind’s eye. Taste it with your mind-mouth. Suggested talking points: Homeland Turkey, PlayStation Buttslammer, Hair-o, Drive-Thru Limits, Mayoral Powers, Cool Guy Voice, Urinal Mysteries

Can you feel it? Can you fee-ee-eeeeel it? The warmth? The kindness? The magic of Candlenights has begun its wondrous machinations. Suggested talking points: Countdown, Mobile Birthday, Warped Tour, Two Travises for Christmas, Lopez Theft, The JNCO Collapse, Yahoo Answers Appreciation

It’s the most wonderful time of the year as the McElroys bring you their annual pan-faith, no cursing holiday spectacular. Share it with someone you love, share it with someone you want to unnerve, just share it. After all, it’s Candlenights.

We sure hope you’ve been diligent in your dirt-digging, because 2013 is hours away from being behind us. Don’t be scared — we’re here to guide you through the new year with a new, highly brand-able slogan. Suggested talking points: Professionalism, Walk-thru, Second Day Darrell, Little Sister, Sky Bevs, 2014, The Check List