America's Dumbest Criminals

A guy who graduated from the school of hard knocks, a chef with a recipe for arrest, and a drug bust with a twist. "Return to Cinder," "Cooking with Crack," and "Yabba Dabba Dude."

Some pretty funky footwork, a drive-by surprise, and a mighty fall from grace. "Funky Footwork," "Drive Buy," and "Police Help Me, I'm Falling."

A girlfriend who bails out her beau, frightening footage with a happy ending, and the dumbest DUI excuse ever made. "Two Bits," "Citizen's Arrest," and "Dumbest DUI."

A criminal who falls asleep just behind the wheel, actual footage of dumb criminals on ice, and a case we call, "All Spruced Up." "Pull Over and Wake Up," "Dumb Criminals on Ice," and "All Spruced Up."

The crook caught by the cop without a kickstand, surveillance cam footage we call, "Stuff Yourself," and a blackjack player who really takes a hit. "Kickstand Blues," "Stuff Yourself," and "Blackjack Mama."

A bank robber who didn't have a car or a brain, a dumb criminal who gets a special delivery, and a dumb criminal who learns about gravity. "The Bagman," "Special Delivery," and "This Guy is Falling."

A fool and his jewels, a crime that was not well-done, and three light weights with a heavy load. "Fooled You," "Hold the Onion," and "Box of Rocks."

A social climber who's falling fast, a cat's stolen whiskers, and a major incident with a miniature reenactment. "Social Climber," "The Cat's Meow," and "Tie Tack Terror."

A break in at the wrong house, a panty plucker who has to pay the piper, and a dumb criminal who almost got away. "Don't Call the Police," "Panty Plucker," and "Blinking and Drinking."

A ten year cab ride, a dumb criminal who uses his head, and a criminal who has a very bad payday. "10 Year Cab Ride," "Head Start," and "Crime Doesn't Pay."

A D.U.I. with a W.I.F.E., a comically disabled criminal, and a traffic temper that goes wrong. "Skunk Driver," "Oh, My Aching Back," and "Watch the Lights."

A flasher who falls asleep on the job, a shoplifting film fest, and a drug deal that goes wrong, then goes right. "Buck Naked," "Attention Shoplifters," and "Photo Finish."

Our first twin dumb criminals, actual surveillance cam footage you won't believe, and Rin Tin Tin meets a dummy. "Name Game," "Hi Mom, I'm on TV," "Bow-Ow-Www."

Some dopers who are a little too hospitable, a jewelry store full of dumb criminals, and a dumb criminal who is disarmed and dangerous. "Who is It?" "No Cops Here," and "In Arms Way."

A drunk driver takes more than he bargained for, surveillance store footage from the convenience store from hell, and a glad bag that turned into a sad sack. "A Real Drunk Driver," "Store From Hell," and "Sad Sack."

A dumb criminal who can hide.

A bandit with a beer box for a brain.

Two criminals who absolutely never met.

A little old lady from Pasadena tells her secret.

Two dumb criminals with an extremely short-term memory.

A drunk driver with a lame excuse.

The dumb criminal that just couldn't blend in.

A dumb criminal who thinks he's lucky.

An unbelievably cooperative criminal.

A man who was driving under the influence of Elvis.

A dumb criminal with real bad luck.