I Bet You

The Bet: Who's more of a man? What's at Stake: $4000 It's a MOJO tug of war when Phil and Antonio square off at a Florida sperm bank to find out who's got the more loaded load. With criteria including volume, motility, viability and sperm count, this one's a toss up. Before the final verdict, the guys take their bets to the beach for a competitive sand burial contest and then face off in a wrestling match against Fathead the Alligator. Location: Native Village, Hollywood, Florida

The Bet: Who's the better model? What's at Stake: $4000 The guys become real live posers when they take on the high-fashion world of the Miami modeling biz. Phil and Antonio are judged on catwalk struts, photo poses and an all-crucial, tie-breaking round of Zoolander expressions. This time, the stakes are high—big bucks, plus the loser must make like a model, in mascara, lipstick, and eye shadow. Location: Miami, Florida

The Bet: Who's the better firefighter? What's at Stake: $2000 The Miami heat rises when the guys get in with the Miami-Dade Fire Department to run a few drills, get a few thrills and then compete to see who’s the fastest fire fighter. This time, the loser’s out five grand, but he also must take a power shower, with a blast from the fire hose. Before putting out fires, Phil and Antonio hit the hot South Florida seniors scene for a round of poker with the Abbey Delray Seniors Community's top card sharks. Location: Lincoln Road Pedestrian Mall, Miami, Florida

The Bet: Who is a better fighter pilot? What's at Stake: $5000 The guys get to live out their Top Gun fantasies in an airborne dogfight. Taking the highway to the danger zone, they’re paired up with professional fighter pilots in actual military aircrafts, for a battle to rule the sky. Before the showdown, there’s action on the ground, a highly competitive charades match, pitting Phil and his girlfriend, actress Jennifer Tilly against Antonio and a local mime. And a poker defeat becomes very painful when the loser gets his legs waxed. Location: Air Combat USA, Fullerton, CA

When Phil and Antonio take the stage in a singing/songwriting competition, complete with an authentic 80’s pop princess, legend of the mall Tiffany. After a series of amusement park-based bets, pitting them against the E Channel’s Joel McHale (host of “The Soup”), Phil and Antonio head to LA’s Cascade Studios for an afternoon of intensive lyric-writing, chord-composing and vocal-coaching. Later that night, the guys go tune to tune at a battle of the ballads. Location: Cascade Studios, Hollywood

Phil and Antonio go into the wilds of southeastern Tennessee, climbing, fishing, building fires and of course, placing bets in order to prove who’s the king of the woods. Phil vows to “crush the Persian princess,” at the ancient, primal art of ax throwing, but Antonio may be more of an outdoorsman than he assumes. At a final contest of skill and survivalism, the guys compete to see who can catch a fish first—besides giving up a grand, the loser must make like a fish and eat a worm. Location: Great Smokey Mountains, Tennesee

An injury, sustained while dueling with the grueling forces of nature, sidelines Phil, and The Unabomber is forced to take a backseat, or rather a wheelchair, for the duo’s remaining time in Tennessee wilds. Wheeling and dealing their way through the week’s improvised challenges puts Phil and Antonio on the wrong side of a Civil War re-enactment event. And, it’s a glimpse of hillbilly heaven for Antonio and line-producer Chris (Phil’s stand-in) when they battle it out at an authentic demolition derby. Location: Tennessee Slammers Bangers, Del Rio, TN

Our favorite pair of sinners touch down in Sin City to raise a little good-natured hell. With Phil back in action, it’s time for another motorized match-up—a trip to the Mario Andretti Racing School and a chance to square off in Formula One Race Cars. Before hitting the track, Phil and Antonio take on poker greats Howard “The Professor” Lederer and Eli “The Genius” Elezra in a series of bets, including one that tests the political IQ of a phone sex operator. Location: Mario Andretti Racing School, Las Vegas, NV

Phil and Antonio stick around Vegas for more fun on the strip…this time, with strippers. First, a bet to see who’s the sharper sleuth takes them on a mystery tour of the city, deciphering codes and clues on their way to solving a whodunit. After placing bets on the strip’s drunkest wanderers, the guys sit down to a round of Strip Wizards & Warlocks, rolling the dice while their well-endowed teammates peel off layer after layer, on the way to a magnificent and massive silicone finale. Location: Mystery Adventures, Las Vegas, NV

Main bet: Phil and Antonio see who is better at fencing.

Main bet: Phil and Antonio see who is a better radio host by spending a day on the air with Loveline.