Unlocking Us with Brené Brown

In this “On My Mind” episode, we talk about shame and accountability. We discussed this a bit last summer, but I’m going deeper today in light of the insurrection at the US Capitol and the resulting calls to unity without accountability. Dehumanization is the most significant driver of insurrection, and it always starts with language. We are all responsible for recognizing it, stopping it, and holding people accountable for dehumanizing language and actions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, I talk with philanthropist and global advocate for women and girls, Melinda French Gates. We talk about empathy, the power of story, and her book, The Moment of Lift — a clear and powerful call to action for gender equity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Emmanuel Acho is a creator, host, and producer of Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man, a web series about racism to drive open and uncomfortable dialogue. His book with the same name is a thoughtful manifesto, a mandate, and a playbook that’s both generous and full of love. We get personal, and we talk about what these important questions mean in the context of history and for culture today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Drs. Julie and John Gottman have taken more than 40 years of breakthrough research and written or co-written more than 40 books on marital stability, divorce prediction, and how science can help people have successful, loving relationships. We talk about the toll the pandemic has taken on couples, their work in the context of current events, and practical shifts that can help us take care of each other. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A conversation with two unforgettable creators: Debbie Millman and Roxane Gay. Debbie is a designer, an author, an educator, and the host of the award-winning podcast Design Matters, and Roxane is a writer, an editor, a cultural critic, and the co-host of the podcast Hear to Slay. Roxane and Debbie are newlyweds, and we talk about their love story, creativity, and the power of a dinner party. Their words and art have been very influential in my life — talking to them about the ins and outs of ordinary life is, in itself, extraordinary. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, I’m talking with Jennifer Rudolph Walsh and Ashley C. Ford about their work, their lives, and the new anthology Hungry Hearts, a collection of intimate stories and essays on courage, desire, and belonging. I just love talking to the storytellers and magic-makers! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m talking to clinical psychologist and author Dr. Edith Eger about her books, The Choice and The Gift. Dr. Eger is a Holocaust survivor who has dedicated her career to helping us understand trauma, anger, resilience, and the power of choosing how we see ourselves and how we resist the labels that people put on us. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, I talk to Dr. Yaba Blay about her new book, One Drop: Shifting the Lens on Race. It’s an honest and raw conversation about identity, grief, transformation, history, colorism, and taking responsibility for change. I continue to reflect on this quote from Dr. Blay: “Identity is nuanced. It’s complicated. I think it’s hard to define. Sometimes I think it’s dangerous to define, depending upon who’s doing the defining.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m talking to Dr. Angus Fletcher, professor and author of Wonderworks: The 25 Most Powerful Inventions in the History of Literature, about the science behind the great writings of authors across time — from Greek tragedies to Maya Angelou to Tina Fey. We look at how the technology of literature can nurture democracy, power personal growth, and improve our mental health and well-being. Weaving together library and laboratory research, we discuss how literature actually changes who we are, helps us understand who we are, and teaches us how to think. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, Unlocking Us is going to Dare to Lead! Olympian, activist, and author Abby Wambach and I connect on the new rules of leadership. Her book, WOLFPACK, I kid you not, is on my top five must-read leadership books. I buy this book for everyone. It’s leadership gold. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Unlocking Us is here to Dare to Lead on inclusivity. Aiko Bethea is a friend, colleague, and diversity, equity, and inclusion expert. We discuss empathy, accountability, and the power of listening and believing (including a very real role play). We also dissect the differences between transactional leadership and transformational leadership and why courage is a prerequisite to lasting, meaningful change. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hanif Abdurraqib is a beautiful person and an incredible writer, poet, essayist, and cultural critic. His new book, A Little Devil in America: Notes in Praise of Black Performance, took my breath away. Hanif’s ability to straddle the tension of grief and gratitude, beauty and horror, mourning and jubilation is where the miracle and the genius happen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Brandi Carlile is a singer, songwriter, performer, producer, activist, and author of a new memoir, Broken Horses. We talk about everything from the politics of middle school lunch tables, to the pursuit of complicated faith, to the tyranny of fitted sheets. This is a conversation between two people, meeting for the first time, and yet, somehow, it feels like we’ve been friends forever. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Get ready for a delicious conversation. I am talking to Samin Nosrat, author, cook, teacher, podcaster, and the force of nature behind the revolutionary cookbook Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat and its Netflix documentary. We connect on her work and the struggles and realities of creating connections in a period of great disconnection. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I have a tough, loving conversation about dementia and Alzheimer’s with Jason Karlawish, physician, researcher, professor, clinician, and author of The Problem of Alzheimer’s: How Science, Culture, and Politics Turned a Rare Disease into a Crisis and What We Can Do About It. This heartbreakingly common diagnosis creates multiple patients — both the diagnosed and the caregivers. We talk about the difference between Alzheimer’s and dementia, how we respond to a disease that diminishes our autonomy, and what we can do to take care of ourselves and each other. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week’s episode features two audio essays from You Are Your Best Thing, an anthology on the Black lived experience of vulnerability and shame resilience, led by my friend Tarana Burke, an organizer, writer, activist, and the founder of the ‘me too.’ Movement. It starts with an introduction from Tarana and me, followed by an essay from Jason Reynolds, award-winning and #1 New York Times bestselling author. All of the essays in the book are urgent, compelling, heartbreaking, and heart-affirming. I’m proud and grateful to share this work with you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m talking to Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce Perry about their new book, What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing. We define trauma and talk about why big and small traumas activate our stress-response systems and create emotional, physical, and social consequences and how we can find the path to healing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I talk with Justina Blakeney, designer, artist, and New York Times bestselling author, about how we can create spaces to tell our stories. We talk about how color, pattern, plants, and windy paths can be personalized to help express our individuality and how connecting with both our unique roots and adventures allows us to not only look at objects and space differently but also see ourselves and our worlds in new ways. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, I’m talking to writer Ashley C. Ford about her new memoir, Somebody’s Daughter, and how it is written for everyone who walks into a bookstore and feels like they can’t find a book about themselves — and there are a lot of us looking for that. We talk about the writing process, the truth-telling process, and how connecting the two can be liberating not only to us but also to others. Our conversation is not just a story about her life, it is a story about life and what connects us to show us that we are not alone — and that we are braver than we know. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m talking to writer, teacher, and scholar Dr. Clint Smith about his new book, How the Word Is Passed: A Reckoning with the History of Slavery Across America. We talk about the history of slavery in this country and how we approach, excavate, recognize, and react to that history — and how we have a responsibility and accountability to get the story and the history right. Because when we can be honest about the history, we can begin to acknowledge it, reckon with it, and heal from it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me and my sisters, Ashley and Barrett, for Part 1 of our six-part Summer Sister Series on The Gifts of Imperfection. In this episode, we start with the Introduction, go over the 10 Guideposts, and talk about our personal Wholehearted Inventory scores. Surgeon General’s Warning: This is about as real as it gets. Equal amounts laughing, hard conversations, surprising revelations, and cussing. And some singing. But I file that under painful and/or laughing. If this sounds like your kind of conversation, join us for the rest of the series. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s Part 2 of our six-part Summer Sister Series on The Gifts of Imperfection, with my sisters, Ashley and Barrett. In this episode, we start with Guidepost #1 (Cultivating Authenticity and Letting Go of What People Think) and move into Guidepost #2 (Cultivating Self-Compassion and Letting Go of Perfectionism). Practicing authenticity — and, yes, it is a daily practice — is really connected to boundary work, so we admit the individual fears we each experience when setting boundaries. We also talk about perfectionism as a process addiction and how our imperfections are not inadequacies, but instead, they’re reminders that we’re all in this together. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re at the halfway mark of our six-episode Summer Sister Series on The Gifts of Imperfection, and this week, we dig into Guideposts #3 and #4 (Cultivating a Resilient Spirit: Letting Go of Numbing and Powerlessness and Cultivating Gratitude and Joy: Letting Go of Scarcity and Fear of the Dark). Ashley, Barrett, and I look at our lives post-COVID and talk candidly about the ways we’ve numbed over the past year — and how we’ve lost some of our gratitude practices. These two things may be related. Moving forward, we (re)commit to making wholeheartedness a family affair. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This might just be the toughest, most personal episode yet in the Summer Sister Series on The Gifts of Imperfection. As Ashley, Barrett, and I tackle Guideposts #5 and #6 (Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith: Letting Go of the Need for Certainty and Cultivating Creativity: Letting Go of Comparison), we reflect on our upbringing, which was marked with uncertainty, unpredictability, and plenty of eggshell living. It’s no surprise then that letting go of certainty is one of my greatest challenges. We talk about that and how we try to show up differently in the families we are raising now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this second-to-last episode of the Summer Sister Series on The Gifts of Imperfection, I have a couple of in-real-time revelations: namely that I suck at cultivating quality rest and play (a.k.a. Guidepost #7). Thankfully, on the flip side, I’ve gotten pretty good over the years at cultivating calm and stillness (thank you, 5-mile-long daily walks) and letting go of anxiety as a lifestyle (Guidepost #8). We dig in and ask the existential question: What does your ideal restful vacation look like? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s the final episode of our six-part Summer Sister Series on The Gifts of Imperfection with my sisters, Ashley and Barrett, and we finish strong with the last of the Guideposts, #9 and #10 (Cultivating Meaningful Work: Letting Go of Self-Doubt and “Supposed To” and Cultivating Laughter, Song, and Dance: Letting Go of Being Cool and “Always in Control”). We talk about how doing meaningful work connects us and how being cool is honestly very lonely. And we finally reach the moment Ashley and Barrett have been waiting for all along — and possibly the only reason they agreed to do this series — they finally get to share their top five songs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m talking to my dear friend Tarana Burke about her new memoir, Unbound: My Story of Liberation and the Birth of the Me Too Movement. Her book is beautiful, hard, and breathtaking. Tarana is unflinching in her storytelling. As she takes us on the journey that transformed her life and the world, we can feel our own transformation happening. The person who starts this book is not the person who finishes this book. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m talking to Esther Perel, psychotherapist, New York Times bestselling author, and podcaster, about relationships in the pandemic and beyond. She blew my mind around some patterns that Steve and I have discovered over the past months in lockdown. We also talk a lot about paradox and straddling the tension of two competing ideas that can both be true. It’s maddening and inspiring. And you’ll hear in real time how I’m wowed, impressed, and completely Esther Perel-ed before it’s all over. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sarah Niles plays respected sports psychologist Dr. Sharon Fieldstone on Ted Lasso — and I just want to let you know that we have worked very hard for no show spoilers at all. It’s just a great conversation about where she came from, what she believes in, and the story of how she ended up as this central and pivotal character on one of our favorite shows. This is one of those podcasts where if you’re walking, just take a deep breath. If you’re driving, maybe crack the window. If you’re at home, grab some hot tea or a cup of coffee. To know Sarah is to love her and appreciate her talent, her gifts, and her commitment to truth, love, and kindness. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m talking with first-time authors and longtime podcasters — and even longer-time friends — Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman. We’re talking about their book, Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close, and why the lack of meaningful, intimate, vulnerable friendships is almost a crisis right now. One key learning for me is how many of us believe that friendships should be easy and require little effort, when, in reality, we can’t have any meaningful relationships without putting in meaningful work. And that’s not always easy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I am back with my sisters, Ashley and Barrett, to do a follow-up on the Summer Sister Series on The Gifts of Imperfection. We received a lot of questions in the comments after the six-episode series, so I’ve pulled my sisters back in to seek some answers. We are also knee-deep in life stuff right now, so we open up about our own struggles with some of the topics in question, including running away, setting and managing boundaries, polling others over listening to ourselves, and living in authenticity. Join us as we seek A’s to all the Q’s from social media. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

OY! It’s our first LIVE Unlocking Us, recorded at ACL Fest in Austin, Texas. I asked Brett Goldstein — writer, comedian, producer, and Emmy Award–winning actor — to join me onstage for a conversation. We talked about the vulnerability and humanity behind comedy, we talked about the band we’d create, we talked about the Muppets — and we talked about why everyone loves his character Roy Kent and all his friends on the beloved comedy series Ted Lasso. This will definitely not be our last live recording. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m talking with singer-songwriter, activist, and artist Jake Wesley Rogers, whom I discovered on TikTok. It was love at first listen — and I mean, I fell madly, truly, deeply in love with him and his art, as well as how it made me feel, how it made me dance, and how it made me sing. He takes me to church. His songs are relatable and universal, he is pure light and love, and I cannot wait for you to hear this conversation. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, I’m talking to Karen Walrond, writer, activist, and longtime friend of mine about her new book, The Lightmaker’s Manifesto: How to Work for Change without Losing Your Joy. This is the right book for the right time. Activism is such a big and often intimidating concept, and Karen breaks it down into small, intentional, and integrated acts that create a joyful life. We talk about how we met and how we define activism, and we share some really personal experiences we each had after Hurricane Harvey that shaped how we see the intersection of activism and joy. So, enjoy this first of two episodes on life, light, and activism and how those three things are completely interconnected. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s Part 2 of our two-part series with Karen Walrond, writer, activist, and longtime friend. We are talking about her new book, The Lightmaker’s Manifesto: How to Work for Change without Losing Your Joy. In Part 1, we talked about activism and how it shows up in our daily lives. And in this episode, we talk about the connection between activism and spirituality. We talk about listening to the whispers that are calling us and the self-inquiry strategies that help us know what we’re supposed to be doing. We also dig in on performative activism and outrage, as well as the realities of burnout and how joy helps curb some of that. It’s an important conversation — and one we need to be having right now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, I’m talking with Lukas and Willie Nelson about their new album, The Willie Nelson Family, a collection of country gospel–flavored songs performed by the Nelson Family Band and recorded at Willie’s Pedernales Studios — where we recorded this podcast — just outside Austin. We talk about faith and family, music as church, and love — and how it’s really all tied together. We also talk about what brings us together, what keeps us apart, and what holds us back. We get some Nelson family advice — including their three family rules. And we end the episode with a surprise treat you’ll be singing all week. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I wanted to share with you a talk that I did at UCLA’s Royce Hall for Oprah’s Super Soul sessions where I uncovered the fundamentals of trust. What is trust? The data says there are seven parts of trust, and we organize these into the acronym BRAVING. Breaking down the anatomy of trust into specific behaviors allows us to more clearly identify and address breaches of trust. I love the BRAVING checklist because it reminds me that trusting myself or other people is a vulnerable and courageous process. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this first episode of a three-part Sisters Book Club series, Ashley and Barrett turn the tables on Brené and interview her about her new book, Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of the Human Experience. They ask all the questions we want to know, and they pull no punches—starting with stories about childhood superpowers, to matters of biology, biography, behavior, and backstory in the context of emotions and the book itself. They also talk about how Atlas is broken up into three sections, how the data was collected and analyzed to present the 87 emotions covered, and how powerful it is to have vocabulary that's as expansive as our experiences. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s Part 2 of the three-part Sisters Book Club series, where Ashley and Barrett turn the tables and interview me about Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience. We dive into the specific findings on some of the 87 emotions and experiences covered in the book. And they ask me the podcast rapid-fire questions — including my top five songs. Plus, they include some brand-new rapid-fire questions that I didn’t expect. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We asked for your Atlas of the Heart questions and, man, did you deliver. More than 1,500 questions poured in. So, in this final episode of our Sisters Book Club, Ashley, Barrett, and I answer as many questions as we can, tackling how emotional literacy affects self-awareness, how family patterns affect emotions, and how emotionally intense moments affect our decision-making. We also discuss the powerful connections between art and emotions, as well as how parents can bring this work to their teenagers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices