PRETTY GOOD

Beware of banana peels. They are capable of inflicting great physical harm. Even worse, they might own you so badly that you'll need to make a 33-minute documentary about them several years later simply to purge yourself of the abject shame and humiliation.

Happy early Fourth from Jon and the whole Secret Base gang! Episode 15 of Pretty Good is a deconstruction of the 1996 summer blockbuster Independence Day, a documentary about the time Jeff Goldblum defeated an invincible alien race by going to Area 51, getting drunk off his ass, and writing a computer virus in Visual Basic. Rather than focusing on the heroes, though, this is a thorough examination of one of Jon's favorite and least favorite characters in the history of cinema: Secretary of Defense Albert Nimziki, played by true genius and legend James Rebhorn.

Kadarius Toney is one of my favorite players in the NFL. Prior to the 2023 season, a statement like this wouldn't have required an explanation. After the 2023 season, this requires an explanation in the form of an hourlong, two-part documentary or video essay or whatever you'd like to call it. If you'd like to join the Kadarius Toney Fan Club, or at least understand why such a fan club might exist, this is for you.

Hey everybody, it’s Jon again. Thanks for stopping by! This brand-new Pretty Good episode is about a lot of things. I hope you enjoy them.

When I bought a mattress in 2018, the company that sold it to me sent me a few emails. "Thank you for your purchase." "Your order is on the way." "We'd love your feedback." You know, that sort of thing. The nature of our email correspondence was completely one-sided, since I never answered any of them, but it was about what you'd expect, and it didn't bother me in the least. Then one day, this correspondence began to take a turn. From then on, my life would ... well, it would remain exactly the same. But let's examine an alternate history in which it did not.