Fractured Fairy Tales

Jack is a professional baseball player who uses the beanstalk to catch fly balls.

This is the story of the Pied Piper who plays a flatt, not a flute, and who drives out all the mice in the town. The strange little man has the ability to create pies from his pipe! The King loves his tobacco pie! The only problem is that when the Queen takes a bite of the pie, she dissapears!

A witch casts a spell on a lively princess to make her boring.

The tale of the small son of a wood chopper.

The old witch in this Sleeping Beauty story has trouble casting a sleep spell, so Beauty pretends to sleep when the Prince comes around, but after they exchange pleasantries, the witch reappears and casts the right spell on both of them by accident.

A frog is very happy to be a frog. A wacky witch convinces him that he would be better off as a handsome prince. The prince marries a "witch" of a princess!

A good king's last wish is for a fairy godmother to make something out of his obnoxious, nasty son.

In a pond in the Middle West, an ugly duckling wants to be a star, so he has a face lift that makes him good-looking, and missing the opportunity to play an ugly role.

This the a twist on the story of Rumplestiltskin who can't remember his own name, so he changes it in embarrassment

An old man who has three sons plans to give one of them a golden goose, but he first must find out which one deserves it. A rather dimwitted guy trades his stale sandwich to a goblin for a golden goose. Several people try to take the goose, but when they touch it, they are forever stuck to it!

Little Red Riding Hood is SO contrite after her booby-trapped basket explodes in the Wolf's face- especially as she's just discovered that he's a member of Riding Hoods Anonymous, a program designed to help him kick "the Riding Hood habit." And this is just the beginning of the story! A wicked, wicked satire that takes on 12-step programs, the DAR and the NRA in only four minutes!

Once upon a time, there was an evil ugly witch who cast a spell on anything beautiful. In the country one day, she came upon a beautiful Princess and turned her into a horse, figuring that a Prince would not kiss a horse. After six months, a Prince finally passed by and commented that she is a real runner, and entered her into the big race. At the race, Beauty would destroy the field but stopped five feet from the finish line, so he took her to Merlin the Wizard. Several days later, he came back, saying that she has a kiss complex, so at the next race, he kissed her and she turned back into a beautiful woman and they lived UNHAPPILY ever after, because she was still an old nag.

A Jay Ward send-up of this classic tale, with a whole new twist on the story that you expect. This time, the Three Bears invade Goldilocks' house!

Tired of living in the shadows of his famous father, Prince Fletcher (the son of Beauty and the Beast) decides to become famous. He hires writer Sordid J. Scrivener to write a book about him, but he has led such a boring life that there is nothing to write about! The writer talks Prince Fletcher into going to a witch so that he can be turned into a beast like his famous father.

A fisherman and his wife are very poor, and he is happy. The wife, however, is unhappy, and wishes that he would catch more fish in order to make a better living. While fishing, he catches a talking fish and takes it home to prove to his wife what he had found. The fish does not want to leave and gives the couple three wishes if they let him stay. They fumble around and get mad at the fish, telling him that they wish he would shut up- thus destroying all their hopes of getting rich. Eventually, they end up poor and back to square one.

The King taxes all people under 4'6" (the little people), which happens to affect only the Goblin family.... So they decide to kidnap the King's daughter and marry her off to the king of the goblins.

This is the story of Snow White and Rapunzel mixed together with a twist.

A King and a town loved their little Princess until one day she grew too big, so the King made everything big to accommodate her, but he ran out of money. To raise money, he enforced a tax law on everything, and the town became rebellious, so the King asks his board what to do, and they suggested to marry her off, suiters arrived but when they say her they ran, and she cried and started to flood the crops, so the King sent her on daily walks. On a walk, she meet a funny little man and kissed him hoping he'd become a prince, but instead she shrunk back down to her normal size, and all was well in the kingdom, except that tax law was still in order.

King Dom the 73rd is miserable because he's in love with a princess who is under a spell. To break the spell, he is told to step on a cat's tail. With the spell broken, a genie pops out and tells him that he will marry her and have a son that has a nose like a casaba melon. The Queen makes everyone wear a big fake nose to make him feel normal, but when he wants a girlfriend, the truth is revealed. He says the magic phrase, "I have a nose like a casaba melon," and his own nose curse is lifted. The end.

Grizelda wins the Witch of the Year Award for being so nasty, but then falls in love with a handsome prince - so she decides to enchant herself and make herself a princess. It works, but her broom keeps following her, so she gets it a dustpan (called a "gride"), and they have a double wedding - Bride and Groom, and Gride and Broom.