Dorkly Bits

Professor Darwin has a lot to teach us.

Meet Father Brain.

Don't forget to check your Privilege stats.

Powerless billionaires vs. superstrong patriots - GO!

Man, Obi-Wan really kinda wasted his potential as a ghost, huh? I mean - all he does is give the occasional bit of advice to a kid and talk to a swamp Muppet. You're a ghost dude! Think of the endless potential you have - you're non-corporeal, you can instantly teleport ANYWHERE IN THE GALAXY, and no one can hurt you now. There's one thing you should do ASAP: Haunt the SHIT out of Darth Vader.

Imagine a terrifying world where Nintendo lost the console wars of the early 90s, leaving Sega as the unchallenged victor. With money and power, they claimed Mario as the spoils of victory, and turned him into something distinctly...Sega-ish.

April 1st is coming up - and you know what that means: Half-Life 3's release! Just kidding, don't believe silly rumors like that. The rumors you SHOULD believe are...Half -Life 4!!! Also kidding. We like to kid. The point is: pranks. But in the world of Mario, it's always time for a good prank, because the big M has gotta find a way to spend his free time when he's not rescuing princesses, playing tennis, going to parties, racing karts, and...ya know, that guy actually has a pretty active life. But still, he probably gets a few good pranks in every now and then.

Only a TRUE hero can wield Mjolnir...which means, uh, everyone can.

Not even Tom Cruise could beat these games.

Get ready for Super Mario 69.

Flying rodents aren't a good idea for your secret billionaire cave.

You got a friend in Amiibo.

Darwinism is SUPER EFFECTIVE!

The FF are F-ing confused.

Mario's entering a whole new galaxy.

The world of Pokemon is a lot more dangerous than you'd think.

Show me your Hadoukens!

May the f*cks not be given.

The sad tale of a jacked billionaire with a butler and a mansion who beat street criminals within an inch of their life...

Haven't played since Red/Blue? We're here to help.

The Dark Knight's darkest secret.

Bro-kemon are the most dangerous type.

He's player Bulbasaur.

Shakespeare is worse than Joffrey.

That's my secret, Cap - I'm always horny.

Tons of sequels? Gimmicks? Mario isn't a fan of that.

Think before you conquer.

Hokey religion? JEDIS RAN THE MILITARY LIKE 20 YEARS AGO!

May the Force be...way over there. Away from your sister.