Decker Shado

While reviewing the Holiday Special was fun, I don't think it would make sense to postpone this one further by delving into SNL skits for 20 minutes... So let's take a look at Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back! Which it seems likely a hell of a lot of people are going to be doing, due to recent circumstances...

You'd think six years is enough time to come up with a big, spectacular follow up to one of the biggest surprise hits of the 80s. Well, after racking their brains the guys at WB collectively decided "do it in New York!" was the best option, giving us Gremlins 2: The New Batch. I's flashy, it's visually impressive, and it's got Gremlins jokes galore... but does it live up to the original?

Considering in my last "top kills" video, I lamented the character in question not being in Mortal Kombat... it would make sense that this top kills video focuses on a character who in fact, has been added to Mortal Kombat. (and out-gores the standard cast on a regular basis) Jason Voorhees! Of course, his body count is so massive a top 10 list just can't cut it. Top 13 can't either, we need like a top 50 but I don't got that kinda time.

Sometimes you just want to kick back, and enjoy a simple movie about giant monsters crushing cities as they fight. Then somehow, you end up in a convoluted tale about world war 2, time travel and economic terrorism. Only in Japan...

While H.R. Giger's work in film may be known by most as simply "the guy who made the alien from Alien" he's done art for several other features. Notably, the new species from Species. Of course, a movie doesn't come down to simply how nifty the creatures in it look... so does the rest of the film do the man's legacy justice?

Just because the 2nd movie ended with Luke doing exactly what Yoda and Obi Wan told him would mean he could never become a jedi, that's no reason for him to not become a jedi. Thus, it's the return of the jedi! Later, as even though he's calling himself a jedi early on they still say he isn't one yet. It's a bit confusing...

You know what I love? Horror. You know what the masses love? Comedy! You know what comes up a lot in the horror genre? Horror comedy! The problem comes when you watch it, and find out it's just a comedy with blood in it. However, sometimes you find a movie out there that actually does the horror right.. a dark comedy that is truly dark. The Voices is one of those movies.

A cult classic from 1974, Phantom of the Paradise is a modern take on Phantom of the Opera. By modern of course, I mean 70s modern and holy hell is this ever a period piece. Next to nothing looks like it could happen at just any point in history, it all screams mid 70s. Nevertheless, this film written and directed by Brian De Palma did rather poorly when initially released.. Is there a big overarching reason for that? No, seriously I want to know I'm confused about this.

Be it the weather, my brain, or some combination of the two things are taking a bit longer this week I'm afraid. On the plus side, the channel just hit 49k subscribers and.. um.. other things. I really am not good at thinking right now. At least I think I'm not good at thinking.

A little monster movie from 1999, Virus was made quite a while after the original screenplay was penned. At the time, it wasn't quite as possible to do the kinds of special effects that would be required, so it was made into a Dark Horse comic instead. Eventually, the story would be put to the film - but at what cost?

While George Lucas had already made several films that would make the average sane moviegoer question his capabilities, that didn't stop the hype train from going full steam ahead during the late 90s, when news of a new Star Wars prequel trilogy first came. Telling the story of Anakin Skywalker, who everyone already knew would become Darth Vader and was described as a total badass in the original movie... Seriously, how could this movie not be awesome? Well... All those mediocre to bad movies George made? Add this one to the list.

This week marks the beginning of the March of the Clowns! Or last week was supposed to, but I'm a flakey f#cknugget and lack discipline. Either way, the review of the day is We All Scream for Ice Cream, a story made by the director of Child's Play for a Showtime television series. Think Twilight Zone, or Outer Limits, without the deep moral lessons and throw in a bunch of cursing and you get the idea.

The March of the Clowns continues with Funland! This film from 1987 is about a clown. That's a given, but to be honest with you telling you what the generally accepted synopsis is for this movie is completely inaccurate while at the same time correcting that is sorta spoiling things in the description. Either way, we got clowns, an amusement park, and death! That's a sure fit for the March of the Clowns.

It's hard to discuss horror movies about clowns without bringing up a certain horror movie, called Clown. Mainly because of it's incredibly simple straightforward name, as this is actually a pretty damn recent production. Also, it's not entirely the brainchild of Eli Roth despite what certain trailers will have you believe...

The March of the Clowns might have been a bit slower than planned, but it all ended up in the same place. With that in mind, we're taking a look at the 1990 television miniseries adaptation of Stephen King's "It." It's possibly one of the most famous clown horror flicks of all time... despite it honestly not having much at all to do with clowns, other than the main villain of the tale, Pennywise, happening to look like a clown most of the time.

After the hype tornado of Episode I resulted in... episode I... Expectations were not quite as high for the sequel, and the studio was perhaps a little more careful with what did and did not make the cut this time around. With far less Jar Jar, and much more action we got Attack of the Clones and the beginning of the clone wars. However... did they perhaps cut a little too much explanation in this explosionfest?

It's been a long time coming, but I finally got around to reviewing that one Jean-Claude Van Damme movie from way back when that I never got around to - J.C.V.D.! It stars the star as the star, in this weird place called "reality." Fictional reality, but that's how it is in movieland.

What goes better with movies about killer paraphernalia than movies about killer snacks? Mix the two together, and you get Gingerdead Man vs Evil Bong... which is not so much the two movies mixed together, but an Evil Bong movie where nothing happens and then there's a stabbing before the credits. Yay.

From the deep dark depths of mystery known as the British Isles, Gorgo was born in 1961. Meant as a homage to the still young king of monsters, Godzilla, Gorgo employed many visual effects tricks at the time to help the creature appear larger than life.. but what is this?! WESTERNERS doing a kaiju flick?! Well, it might not be as bad as it sounds when you say it like that...

As I recall, when Episode III came out everyone was looking forward to the conclusion of the prequel trilogy. Mainly because after the first 2 movies, they really wanted to see the franchise they knew and loved stop being screwed with. However, it's also widely accepted that Revenge of the Sith is the best of the bunch when it comes to the prequels. The big thing that got everyone to go to the theater and watch it though? The wookie army.. and.. yeah..

After the box office "huh?" that was Prometheus, Ridley Scott was brought back yet again to tackle it's sequel. As such, you know a lot of the direction is the same.. but considering the great many critiques of Prometheus, does Alien Covenant right these wrongs? Or.. make new ones?

Produced by the horror legend Wes Craven, Wishmaster is a tale about how the world would be if genies and/or djinn were real, but also evil demonic extraplanar beings bent on destroying the Earth. You know, kind of like all those articles shared all over social media where children's shows are actually fever dreams of institutionalized psychopaths, but slightly more believable.

So I was supposed to get at least one review finished over the weekend, but oh sweet mother of pain and infections that did not happen. Fortunately, not only am I doing better now, there's things going on that should help keep this kinda crap from happening in the future. At the very least, I have enough saved up to take care of the two major problem areas in my mouth, and actually make a kind of plan for what the hell we're gonna do with the thing. Yay!

Hearing that a Wes Craven horror movie spawned a sequel isn't particularly surprising. Learning it's sequel had no involvement by Wes Craven unfortunately is also not really news. The fact that it went straight to video though? Now we're starting to get into worrying territory... and Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies. Andrew Divoff returns as the Djinn, who escapes from confinement and tries to take over the world via wishes. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

The first of the Wishmaster sequels shorthanded to "the ones without Andrew Divoff" Wishmaster 3 is... bad. I can't say if it was a new direction they were trying, because the setup is generic as f@ck and the pacing god awful slow. What direction were they going for? Straight to hell?

The fourth, and mercifully final movie in the Wishmaster series Wishmaster: The Prophecy Fulfilled is a pointless romp through nowhereville where the Djinn gets his third wish! This should mean bringing forth the legions of Djinn into the human world, and royally screwing it. However, instead he goes on an adventure to learn human love in the worst supernatural dating game you can imagine. Why? Because they never bothered to check the previous movies to make sure the key point in the plot of this one wasn't completely f#cking stupid.

After the dust had settled on the prequel trilogy, more than a few people weren't particularly happy with George Lucas' vision for the Star Wars series. Some years and rights acquisitions later, and before you know it Disney owns Lucas Films, and with it the Star Wars franchise. This wasn't just a buyout though, before long work on a brand new trilogy (and then some) started, with our first peek into this new take on Star Wars being Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens. Upon release, it was cheered as an amazing start to what surely will be an amazing trilogy.. but I'm not here to tell you what other people think, I have my own opinions about the impression this particular film left on me.

I was really hoping the summer special would start on time this year. Unfortunately, things did not seem to turn out in favor of such a scenario. On the plus side, I'm still alive.

Still behind on the reviews, I'm afraid. However, things are moving along and improving. At the very least, in terms of how much has been done to remove parts of my head that have proven to be problems in the past.

From RTS to MMO to novels to film, Warcraft lore is rich in detail and scope. Thing is, the film is the latest piece of that particular series of events and as such, Hollywood gotta do what Hollywood does and figure out all the best ways to screw with the already well established lore because f#ck it, it's just a video game movie after all...

One of the most memorable aspects of Killer Klowns from Outer Space was the music, and the composer John Massari has been at the head of an Indiegogo fundraiser to produce the soundtrack with a full orchestra. He also asked me very nicely to help spread the word.. a while ago. Seems my own works being delayed isn't the only problem I've had since the tooth crud kicked up. But hey, there's still like a week left so... yeah!

Back in 1984, Arnold Schwarzenegger was already a very recognizable actor. However, "actor" was seen as more a technicality of his job than his talent and capabilities. This outlook changed quite sharply when it was decided that instead of playing the hero of this time-travel-killer-robot-dark-future thing James Cameron had been working on, he would play the villain. That meant instead of just being strong and yelling a lot, he had to portray a killing machine.. which it turns out he's very damn good at.

In the fantasy age of the 80s, giant dudes with swords fighting puppets were quite a draw for moviegoers, and a lot of that has to do with the success of Conan the Barbarian. Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, it's about Conan going on an adventure! Just don't try too hard to find the thread that links his motivations together, it can get lost pretty easily.

So delays keep happening.. like, constantly. If it's not illness, or abscesses, or extensive dental procedures I'm off getting engaged or running away from rising waters. On the plus side, I'm okay and work can continue! Except that my Surface is on the fritz as well.. um.. Oh, look at that, Ichabod Todd makes some swell music now, doesn't he?

Ever wonder where the Schwarzenegger Stallone rivalry came from? Well not only were they both action movie stars of the 80s, but Commando was released the very same year as First Blood Part 2 and just so happens to have some superficial similarities. I guess we could just call it the "muscular man firing machine guns" genre at this point.

Would you look at that, the channel hit 75,000 subscribers! Not only that, but a bunch of other stuff has been going on, like expanding over to Vid.me and new Amazon Affiliate links in video descriptions. So let's go over the bases, get sidetracked immediately and inevitably wind up on Goku vs Superman.

One of the biggest sequels of it's time, Terminator 2 was the action follow up to the horror movie that everyone thought was an action movie, The Terminator. Made on a massive budget, Terminator 2: Judgement Day stood as the last movie in the franchise for over a decade. It's got quite a legacy... but exactly how much am I on board with?

What Arnold Schwarzenegger special would be complete without a look at his first starring role? Probably a "best of" list, but that's not the point. In Hercules in New York, Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as Arnold Strong as Hercules, in New York. Yes, it's a movie with a title about as subtle as "The Bad Guy Dies" but deep down, is it really all that bad? Yes, but in what way?

After Conan the Barbarian showed the world you can make a profit off of an esoteric series of intellectual fantasies so long as you have enough gore and boobs to satisfy the masses, Conan the Destroyer showed us just how far a sequel is willing to water down the original no matter how well it did.

Spies, terrorists action and comedy. True Lies was a major hit at the box office, and it's enough to make you feel sorry for the film that Cameron was blatently getting the idea from, La Totale. Nevertheless, ignoring the Lion King / Kimba or Witcher / Elric situation how well does the movie itself hold up today?

Concerned about how your favorite passtime is depicted as a horror that will take over the world and desensitize the population to violence? Don't worry, that's what everyone has said about everything forever, such as how The Running Man depicts a future where TV still matters, and game shows are ultraviolent entertainment fed to the demanding masses, all while the corrupt government does their own shady stuff as well. It's fiction, I swear.

One of the reasons it took so long for a Terminator 3 to happen is because James Cameron, like him or not, is actually one of those Hollywood guys with a modicum of respect for the material. He felt there was nowhere to go from Terminator 2... so the studio found a couple guys who did and had THEM crank out the sequel! Still starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, of course.. otherwise nobody would have ever bothered to watch this.

For a while, Schwarzenegger wasn't doing much but cameos in movies. That's because of his time as the Gahvanahovcalifornja, but since his time in that job has ended naturally he returned to movies. Seems there wasn't a great backlog of projects built around him though, as in 2014 we get him as our lead man in Sabotage, a movie that has nothing to do with a sabotage considering that ending wound up on the cutting room floor.

Schwarzenegger teams up with Belushi for your standard hero/buddy cop flick with a twist.. Belushi is your snarky bad cop from Chicago, while Schwarzenegger is a tough as nails Russian from Russia! That's about it, other than that the plot's pretty standard to be honest.

A tale of swords, sorcery and someone OTHER than Arnold Schwarzenegger, Red Sonja still manages to give the guy top billing above even the title character. This is often thought of as the third Conan movie with Schwarzenegger, but that's not entirely true. Sure, in early drafts of the script Conan was in it, but.. things changed.

One of the most technically impressive movies of it's time, both for the use of CGI when such things were unheard of and the massive practical effects budget at work. It's also based on a short story you probably never heard of, but does that matter? It's got Arnold Schwarzenegger, gunfire and explosions.

With an acting career as large as Arnold Schwarzenegger's, you're bound to have a few stinkers under your belt. However, few have the reputation of Last Action Hero. The first film which Schwarzenegger was credited as executive producer, Last Action Hero released to a buzz of hype to take on.... Jurassic Park. Well then, that's not a fight to pick lightly...

Things have been so behind this week, I actually intended to make the "sorry I'm late" video earlier but that also got pushed back. On the plus side, at the time I'm typing this the next review has been filmed. Yay!

As the Summer.. which somehow turned into the year, was over saturated with a certain action star, why not celebrate it's end with another action star? Yep, we're not going with the classic renditions of this particular ancient dwemer text, but the 2004 Disney production starring Jackie Chan. I really should review more Jackie Chan movies, don't cha think?

300 is a story of a time when 300 Spartans defeated ONE MILLION PERSIANS! Also, it's not exactly historically accurate, as some say it was probably more like a couple thousand versus a few tens of thousands, but why let truth get in the way of a good story?