Dark History

We all know that “beauty” often comes with a high price to pay. I mean, worth it though, right? Who doesn’t like feeling beautiful? But what if I told you that “beauty” practices throughout history have been down right ugly? And not just any ugly–we’re talking foot binding, bone crushing, pube-plucking ugly. I guess the takeaway is that beauty standards have a shady past. And the question becomes: Who are we doing all this for?

Did you ever consider that the baddest b*tch you know wouldn’t be anywhere without…the fall of Saigon? Turns out, this major historical moment has a LOT to do with the nail salons we spend so much time in today. But just how did these salons get their start? And at what cost do these salons keep us feeling cute? After this episode, I have a whole new level of respect for nail salons. Salute to you, nail techs!

There’s always all this talk about who REALLY has the power in America. So I did a little digging, and discovered a not-so-great guy named J. Edgar Hoover–made famous for his 48-year racist reign over the FBI. And just as we thought, the guys pulling the strings ARE, in fact, also confiscating our nudes! Go figure. Between all the spying, lying, and legal murder of a beloved civil rights leader, J. Edgar Hoover would change America’s relationship to our governing powers–forever.

It’s no secret that the FBI has had a bad reputation for spying, sleuthing, and watchlists. But where did it all begin? At some point, the FBI went from just keeping an eye on people to actively trying to ELIMINATE them. They had their sights set on an up-and-coming inspirational leader from within a growing American movement, and they would do whatever it took to take them down. Today, we’re taking a deep dive into the dark waters of… COINTELPRO.

Maybe it’s all the social pressure, but personally, Valentine’s Day is not my favorite holiday. And I know I’m not alone in that. Sometimes it feels like Valentine’s Day is just one big scam. Like, why is there only *ONE DAY* to show people we love them? Where did all this pressure come from?! Well turns out, Valentine’s Day has a super surprising backstory…

Despite what some people may say, birth is not a problem that needs solving–it's a natural journey that we just need guidance to help us get through (And of course, doctors, midwives, doulas…you get it). As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized how scary and borderline traumatizing childbirth can be. But not only that… how downright dangerous it is! So on that note, let’s get to it: the Dark History of Childbirth.

Did you know the person who paved the way for the invention of Wifii was one of the most controversial actresses in Hollywood? I know. Random! Today’s episode is about the one, the only, Hedy Lamarr. It turns out, we owe Hedy A LOT. Without her advancements in film and technology, the world would be a VERY different place… She came (onscreen), she saw (war), she conquered (Hollywood). And for that, thanks, Hedy!

Remember Beanie Baby Mania? It was INSANE. Everyone thought these things would be worth thousands. And then outta nowhere, Furby showed up and completely changed the game, terrorizing kids and adults alike with those creepy little eyes and phrases. If you’re a 90s kid like me, chances are you had one of these iconic toys. But what if I told you the fads that had our parents duking it out in the Toys “R” Us parking lot ended up being…well, just fads?

I’ll be honest with you… it’s hard to shock me anymore. So when I tell you that this story that I found *SHOOK ME* to my core… you know it’s for real. While I was looking into lesser-known Irish history, I kept reading about these things called the Magdalene Laundries. And while something like “laundry” seems innocent enough, this story is anything but that. These Catholic Church corruption-founded facilities destroyed the lives of countless women, and justice has yet to be served–even to this day.

Now, before the Olympics were a thing, it was really just a bunch of Greek competitions about testing physical limits. They had no fancy ass equipment or Nike sponsorships. But since then, a lot of people have been abused, and cities have been destroyed. And apparently, people like you and I pay for the Olympics to exist!? Are they even uniting and inspiring us? And with such a hefty price tag, are they even worth it?

Never in history has there been a more unappreciated animal than the pigeon. Most people think they are just disease infected rats with wings. Right? But actually, pigeons were our companions for centuries. All they wanted to do was help us send our silly little messages and stop wars, and what did they get in return? A whole lot of injustice, that's for sure.

The story of the Kennedy’s has been so romanticized by the media over the years. People are *obsessed* with them. I personally have never understood it, because I just assumed they were like an old money family that wiggled their way into politics and partied their life away because they could. But no… they were so much more than that.

Did you know one of America’s deadliest riots actually started inside a theater in New York. But instead of a drunk senator causing the chaos--I'm looking at you, Lauren Boebert--it was caused by two actors, with decades of beef between them. And this beef turned into blood in the streets...and I *NEVER* hear anyone talking about it!

The Challenger disaster is considered one of the worst tragedies in American history. It’s seared into our minds. But do we have any idea what went wrong? Like… why did it happen and who is responsible? So friends… I dug deep and found some answers. And lemme tell ya… I got some questions for NASA.

I recently came across this story about something called “The Lavender Scare.” I was like omg… first of all, what a beautiful name. Sounds nice, what is it? And turns out, it was a government sponsored witch hunt, hellbent on ruining the lives of millions of gay people in America… and nobody really talks about it. If you were targeted in the Lavender Scare, your life was over. Pack your bags. You’re moving back to Oklahoma.

People put their lives in the hands of doctors every day, but what if those doctors aren't so trustworthy? We've got a pair of crazy stories for you today... Dr. Max "Feelgood" Jacobson, who spent his career injecting politicians and Hollywood elite with his "feelgood" amphetamine vitamin cocktail till they were hooked, and Dr. Conrad Murray, the man who gave Michael Jackson a lethal dose of sedatives. But how did these crooked doctors get away with it for so long?

Do you know the other woman who was a huge force behind the Underground railroad? I know what you're thinking, and no… I’m not talking about Harriet Tubman. Turns out there's another person we rarely talk about. And the Underground Railroad is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to her accomplishments.

Everything you think you know about women in America’s Wild West is *WRONG.* I feel like we’ve been convinced that women back then were just quietly knitting, churning butter and popping out kids left and right. But THESE ladies? They were rough… they were tough… and they were smart and rebellious. And their legacies are just as complex as the men.

Once upon a time, bedtime stories were straight-up R-rated. Kids were being tucked in to tales about cannibalism, SA, body mutilation, and so much more. And the best part is, these stories are still around… but disguised… as your favorite *Disney* movies. That’s right, some of your favorite childhood memories have absolutely *horrific* origin stories.

Look… I grew up in the early 2000s. I essentially had a Blue Ultra Monster glued in my hand at all times. And to be honest… I have no clue where energy drinks even came from. So what is the story? Who invented them? And why are we so obsessed with caffeine? Well friends… I found some answers.

Gossip has played a *VERY* important role throughout history. It brings us together and makes us feel like we know our favorite celebrities or people in power, but it can also tear us apart. But who paved the way for gossip to be what it is today? Well, this is the Dark History of Gossip.

Some of us loved Prom. Some of us thought it was stupid. Some of us didn’t even go. But why do we even do it? And when did Prom start? Turns out… the roots of this high school tradition goes back centuries and involves something *VERY* controversial. This is the Dark History of… Debutante Balls & Prom.

I stumbled upon this wild story around 3am the other day. It's about Claire Sylvia, who faced serious heart issues and underwent a successful heart transplant. However, upon waking up, she suddenly craved beer and Chicken McNugget, things she had never really enjoyed. It turned out her donor, upon investigation, had a deep love for both. The more Claire learned about him, the more she realized she had adopted aspects of his personality. It got me thinking—does this phenomenon occur with every organ transplant? And now they're talking about using pig hearts—will we all start behaving like pigs next? So many questions!

If you know me, you know I’m obsessed with death. Between Dark History and Murder Mystery & Makeup, it comes up *all* the time. But recently, I realized when people talk about death, they only talk about the event leading up to death--not what happens after. If you’re in America, dying isn’t necessarily about being remembered. It’s very freaking stressful. And… expensive. The industry makes over 20 billion dollars a year. So it got me thinking… why do we do this? Does it have to be this way? And who the hell is profiting off of all this death?

Over the last hundred years, some WILD stuff has gone down in the world of genetics. Did you know that Stalin was once approached to be a sperm donor to create a perfect baby? Or that Jeffrey Epstein had a secret plan to create a squad of genius children on a mysterious ranch in New Mexico? Or that one man created a sperm bank that ONLY accepted “donations” from Nobel Prize winning scientists? Well, we’re gonna get into all that and more in this episode. This is the Dark History of… Designer Babies.

In the US, we have The Kennedys, but here are so many other families in history that are just as rich and influential. Sometimes more. And over in Ireland… they have the Guinness family. Yes, that Guinness. The beer your ex boyfriend loved… a little too much. Also the people who somehow became responsible for those World Record books? But when I started to get into it… I was shocked. I mean I thought the Kennedy Curse was bad. This was *WAY* worse. This family has been a part of some of the biggest events in Ireland’s history, and they have some serious skeletons in the closet.

How the *HELL* are we at *ANOTHER* Joanie’s episode already?! I feel like we *JUST* did the last one… like… a week ago. Anyway… I’m so excited. I *LOVE* the Joanies. It’s just such a fun way to recap the season, revisit my favorite episodes and brush up on some wild cocktail facts that you may have forgotten about.

Whether it was some priests back in the 1500s, a narc who worked for the U.S. government or a Chicago-based DJ who just *HATED* disco music… there always seemed to be some disappointing man taking the fun out of it all. So today… I put together a very fun episode for you… today we are going to expose THE MEN WHO RUINED MUSIC!

Most of us here at Dark History know about the Waco massacre. But nobody really talks about how the Waco massacre led to the deadliest act of domestic terrorism in United States history. And the story of how we got there is *WILD.* I’m talking Doomsday preppers, a Neo Nazi book that still inspires people today, and a whole lot of weird cult stuff. This is... The Dark History of the Oklahoma City Bombing.

I don’t know about you, but the second summer is over, I’m pulling out the pumpkins, I’m lighting my candles, and I am ready to let Halloween take over. When I was going through my closet looking for Joan’s Halloween costumes, something fell from the shelf straight onto my head. It was my Ouija board. And look… I don’t know if it’s because of spooky season or what, but it spooked me. I mean yeah, it’s just a board game… but it is communicating with spirits...allegedly. It made me wonder… why are we letting kids casually communicate with the dead? So I got to searching. Turns out, there is a long, wild history behind the Ouija board, and some of America’s most popular board games. And a lot of their stories end in murder.

I was trying to pull together a last minute Halloween costume for a party, and I was like maybe a sexy vampire? And then I got to thinking… why is it that all vampires are hot? If we started with Dracula, how did we get here? How did we get to Edward Cullen and Buffy and vampires basically being the sexiest villains out there? Well friends, I got to the bottom of it. Spoiler alert, it involves a toxic relationship between a famous poet and his doctor, French mail-order brides being sent to America, and lesbian vampire erotica.

I’ve been watching a lot of scary movies because… hello… It's Halloween. ‘Tis the season. So I put on an old classic… SAW. A couple of years ago, we did a Dark History episode on Ancient Torture. And that alone was way scarier than Saw. I went back and looked into my notes for that episode and girl… I forgot that there are all of these torture techniques we didn’t get to get into. And let’s just say… they’re keeping me up at night. These torture techniques are creative to say the least. So join me on this journey… again! For the Dark History of Ancient Torture… part 2!

Do you guys ever go to a restaurant and see someone being a jerk to the wait staff? And you’re like hello? Whatever they bring back to you is definitely going to have, best case, spit in it. The point is, there’s a door between you and the kitchen, so you can never really know what’s going on back there. We put a TON of trust into the people that handle our food. Which brings us to today’s story. Her name was Mary Mallon… some people know her as… Typhoid Mary. And she became known as the Deadliest Cook in America.

Back in the 1800s, matches were a huge deal. In the days before electricity, you needed matches to light your candles, your lamps, your stove so you could cook, and even your fireplace so you wouldn’t freeze to death. Many considered matches to be the most important item in the home. But… ironically… the history of matches is dark. Making matches often led to slow, painful deaths. And workers who didn’t die had to live with brutal, face-altering injuries for the rest of their lives. And, it led to a legendary strike that changed worker’s rights forever.

I personally hate traveling. I’m always doing something wrong and getting yelled at. But that’s just the price you pay to get somewhere quicker. But has it always been like this? Because I know I’ve seen photos of people in the 60’s having lobster and smoking cigarettes on the plane. Flight attendants had these incredible outfits, the flight had an *open bar*, champagne was served in crystal glasses. But when I got to researching, I realized… the old days of flying weren’t so romantic. Welcome to the Dark History of Air Travel.

Over many cultures and many years, being a Eunuch--or someone who has been castrated--has meant something different. Like In ancient China, Eunuchs were thought to be more trustworthy, so they became political advisors. Or In Italy, they realized it stopped men’s voices from developing. So Eunuchs formed a special class of opera singers. Sometimes the process of becoming a Eunuch was voluntary… And other times… not so much. It was done by force or even coercion. But where did these traditions start? Well my friends, today, we’re talking about the dark history of … EUNUCHS.

Lawrence Sperry, the inventor of autopilot had ONE vice, and it's that he was... well, really horny. Allegedly, Lawrence would use autopilot to step away and have sexual relations with women on the plane. Lawrence was later involved in a plane crash… some say it was because he was using his autopilot to service a lady, others say it had something to do with the weather. He and his lady friend survived… but they were found completely stripped of their clothes. And the media went wild. Lawrence became kind of a joke and maybe because of that, he kind of gets forgotten for inventing autopilot. But this made me realize: the very thing Lawrence invented almost killed him. How ironic. And… he’s not the only one. Lawrence is just one of many creators who have had near death experiences with their creations. And some weren’t as lucky as he was. Welcome to the Dark History of creators RUINED by their creations.

I’m very interested in dictators. I read so much about Stalin last year. We even did a two parter on him, wild guy. Today’s main character has a LOT in common with Stalin… He was besties with Hitler. And he survived not one, not two, not three, but FOUR assassination attempts. On top of that, after he survived, he tried to cancel christmas. Today, we’re talking about… BENITO MUSSOLINI. He’s responsible for the deaths of HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of people. But what made him so powerful and why did so many people support him? Well, those are the questions I wanted to know the answers to, so let's learn about Benito Mussolini in today's episode of Dark History.