Today's Topic

Aladdin pretty much spells it out in song and dance what a shady conman he actually is. But, hey, he has a goofy monkey sidekick and turned Genie into a slave, so just forget about all that nonsense. If we're being honest, Princess Jasmine might be better off with Jafar..

Carmen Sandiego does everything Indiana Jones does, plus she's educated way more kids than he has. And she's probably killed, like, 100 times more Nazis as well.

It turns out the Mad Max-type future is going to be loaded six-shooters, mustaches, and wide-brimmed hats.

Titanic Ending Fan Theory: If Rose didn't bang Jack, the mediocre artist, in the back of a luxury town car was, she wouldn't have damned her soul to an eternity along with all the people she killed.

There's a reason we don't see the Magic Pixie Dream Girl trope, featured in movies like Splash and Weird Science, anymore and the reason is super dark and super depressing. At least it's better than the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope.

The tragic events of 9/11 happened over 15 years ago, but that doesn't stop superhero movies, like Iron Man and The Dark Knight from recreating this national tragedy by destroying cities over and over and over and over again.

How do Scarlett Johansson, Mindy Kaling, and Melissa McCarthy and other women put up with this crap? Typical question for male celebrities on red carpet interviews: "How did you mentally prepare for such a challenging role?" Typical question for female celebrities: "So, like, were you able to wear panties in your costume?" What kind of questions are these?

Elliot's pretty lucky that E.T. was an idiot only interested in getting hammered, because he definitely would've spent the rest of his life slowly being devoured. And then healed. And then devoured. And so on and so forth, in a horrifying cycle.