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Season 2024
You may know Glenn Danzig for his music. Or perhaps you know him as the guy who got punched out. Or maybe you know him from his viral kitty litter photo. But what you may not know is
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You may know Glenn Danzig for his music. Or perhaps you know him as the guy who got punched out. Or maybe you know him from his viral kitty litter photo. But what you may not know is that Glenn Danzig is also a "'''''''''filmmaker'''''''''' who's previous movie was called Verotika. We reviewed Verotika on Half in the Bag a few years ago and now he's back, baby! His latest movie is called Death Rider in the House of Vampires. It's a vampire western. And the main character is literally named "Death Rider" because Glenn Danzig is a very serious filmmaker. Come with us on this autopsy of a once promising good-bad filmmaker who has now made one of the most boring movies of all time. If Glenn Danzig is going to waste our day, then we're going to waste yours! Enjoy, suckers!!
A wise man once said, “Brevity is the soul of wit.” Well, if that’s the case, judging by the length of this video these are four of the most witless clown-fools on the internet today.
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A wise man once said, “Brevity is the soul of wit.” Well, if that’s the case, judging by the length of this video these are four of the most witless clown-fools on the internet today. Mike, Jay, Jack and Rich Evans are perhaps the dumbest humans that have ever krebbed in my shorts. Hi I’m retired underground illegal casino pit boss Krebs Gorlon, and today I write to you from my home in war-torn Haiti to tell you about this newest episode of Best of the Worst. I'm farting as I type this due to the bacteria ravaging my colon, but I will try to make sense. Boy, it sure has been a long time since we’ve seen the boys watch three feature films, eh? But alas, today they are spinning the Wheel of the Worst™ again... There’s something about old, undiscovered tapes that makes my taint tingle with the titillating excitement of that first time I killed a man. Rich and Jack display a palpable level of non-excitement at this prospect in our video’s opening. Trust me, I get it.
It finally happened! The day that we received a package from Breen was the best day since the pandemic started. The slim package that arrived in our mailbox was like a little slice of
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It finally happened! The day that we received a package from Breen was the best day since the pandemic started. The slim package that arrived in our mailbox was like a little slice of heaven sent to us from above. A simple mailer that held the truth of which we sought. Cinema. Kino. Joy. I looked at the package, my brow sweating with anticipation. I pursed my lips as I often do in the delicious moments before sipping an ice cold beer. This was just as good. Maybe better. The mailer was that of a simple man. It wasn’t a fancy mailer. It wasn’t padded nor did it have a design on it. In fact, the mailer the DVD arrived in was a cut up cereal box held together with duct tape. I smiled and whispered to myself, “That’s the cup of a carpenter…”. It was here. We received the new Neil Breen film. Was this a Blu-ray? No. This was a DVD-R burned on a computer. I smelled the disc and the jewel case. It smelled like 2003. I cried at the beauty of the whole embarrassing ordeal.
Florps Hoggenwarsch once said, “The day four men in their forties spend a lovely afternoon with each other participating in such infallible and wasteful follies instead of putting in a
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Florps Hoggenwarsch once said, “The day four men in their forties spend a lovely afternoon with each other participating in such infallible and wasteful follies instead of putting in a hard days work, well that’s the day I put a pistol in my mouth!” Florps Hoggenwarsch was one of the literary giants of his time (1802 – 1842) as well as a notable cultural critic and observationist. Florps did indeed put a pistol in his mouth whence-forth he discovered that four of his dearest friends spent a lovely afternoon in 1842 reading aloud and mocking amateur books and poems to the enjoyment of a small crowd of other failures. The crowd consisted of toothless town-folk, drunkards, ex-convicts, perverted men, and failed politicians (some crossover) along with some very smart animals. As Florps friends read passages aloud from the failed poets and aspiring novelists of the time, the crowd laughed loudly and chewed on raw potatoes. They threw cornhusks and flatulated freely.
Rich Evans™ and his "friends" Mike, Jay and Jack embark on an adventure like no other (except for 27 other adventures) discover the magic of the Wheel of the Worst! The wheel is spun
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Rich Evans™ and his "friends" Mike, Jay and Jack embark on an adventure like no other (except for 27 other adventures) discover the magic of the Wheel of the Worst! The wheel is spun thrice for these human mice. Experimenting with how much the human mind can endure by watching manure. These four brave men tempt fate by selecting three tapes, not knowing what horrors await...
So listen up dummies, our building gets hot in the summer. Real hot. It's also freezing cold in the winter, but that's besides the point. It was a hot day. Stuffy and smelled like balls. Yet we managed to suffer for you the audience. These tapes were not the best, but something rather special happens at the end of this episode. Believe it if you will. Or don't we don't care. We witnessed a miracle before our very sweaty eyes. Rich Evans has a gift, damn it! But what was this feat of amazement performed by one Richard T. Evans? Don't skip to the end to find out you shitheads.
It's that time again! The time where we punish ourselves for no real reason and no real gain. Donald Farmer is one of our most hated filmmakers and his movies make us physically ill, so
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It's that time again! The time where we punish ourselves for no real reason and no real gain. Donald Farmer is one of our most hated filmmakers and his movies make us physically ill, so it only made sense to watch as many of them as possible in one sitting. What is our final conclusion on his filmography as a whole? The answers may shock you! Actually they won't.
We sampled many Farmer films in this viewing but the main ones that are discussed are Scream Dream (1989), Vampire Cop (1990) and Debbie Does Demons (2023).
Happy Halloween, jerks! Light a candle, grab some candy corn, and get cozy cuz this is a long episode! Zombies, Draculas, Mummies, and a Man Freak Beast. We got it all this year. For
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Happy Halloween, jerks! Light a candle, grab some candy corn, and get cozy cuz this is a long episode! Zombies, Draculas, Mummies, and a Man Freak Beast. We got it all this year. For Halloween, we went all out by bringing on a special celebrity guest named Rich Evans, and proceeded to watch two normal Halloween-y bad movies and then one film that is so deserving of a Spotlight episode that we basically devolved into one which is why the episode is so long. It's Devil Story! The most amazing thing any of us have ever seen. We didn’t want to miss covering anything in Devil Story because it’s just too amazing. BooooOoOoOoo…
That time is here of the year!! Although, a little late to the gate it was this year. Christmas Best of the Worst can be tricky and this year’s episode was no exception. All hands on
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That time is here of the year!! Although, a little late to the gate it was this year. Christmas Best of the Worst can be tricky and this year’s episode was no exception. All hands on deck the halls! Mike, Jay, Rich, Tim, Josh, Jack, Josh, Jack, Jay, Tim, Josh, Jim, Josh, and Fartf*ck all join forces to watch three Christmas themed sh*t films. Usually we pick Christmas presents and unwrap them, but this year we did something a little different: Put wrapped Christmas presents on the Wheel of the Worst and spun it. Included with the gifts were lumps of Santa’s coal for the bad boys and boys. However, this year’s episode might go down as one of the worst episodes of anything ever, as our Christmas inventory is getting pretty low. Sure, we could have done a few non-Christmas movies but we wanted to keep it real this year. Rich was unusually grumpy. Mike was usually drunky. Ho ho ho.
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