This week: A man gets so drunk he forgets he broke into a bank, but luckily he streamed it live! Also we learn that police have a device called "the grappler," (they're not very good with it) and finally sure school plays can be bad, but bad enough to make a bomb threat?

This week: A rear end sends a cop into someone else's rear end, an 81 year old substitute teacher presented some very off the books anatomy lessons and just how good a friend are you? Probably not good enough to do this in a Family Dollar ...

This week: My "Definitely Not A Bag Full of Drugs" bag has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my bag. Also just because you buy your own fire engine doesn't make you a firefighter and a band of thieves take from the rich and give to the poor ... except they're monkeys.

This week: If you're going to break in and steal something, the toilet should not be your first pick. Also a principal who wants to be a princiPAL by hosting giant drinking house parties for juvenilles and folks, the last story this week is an actual no kidding miracle of confluences ...

This week: Wow, you can really 3D print anything these days, including Bolivian marching powder! Also this week, sometimes in life a toilet can explode and also you can find a quarter ton bear under your house. Mondays, am I right?

This week: A hundred thousand eggs go missing in Pennsylvania but no sign yet of a giant omelette, a man swears he didn't set a cabin on fire (scout's honor!) and nothing quite ruins a cop's day like a Florida man in a dalmatian onesie ...

This week: "Gotta catch 'em all" gets a new meaning as organized crime expands into Pokemon, carjacking your own customers is never going to work out well and waking up drunk and pantsless in a wrecked car outside a 7-Eleven is no way to go through life, son ...

This week: a new innovation in smuggling contraband into a prison: the t-shirt cannon! Also more kids keep trying to steal New York subway trains and challenging a cop to a fight in a 7-Eleven will likely put you in jail for 365 ...

This week: If you name your gym "Smash Fitness," don't be surprised when that's exactly what happens. Also this week, if you're going to get even with your ex maybe check you have the correct address and a man makes off with an $8 million dollar fishing boat using only a little self-confidence ...

This week: A "toupee fiasco" of an entirely different nature, in an Uno reverse Pokemon have devised a method to get humans to fight for them, and if you're going to be giant racist to the waitstaff you probably shouldn't sign your name to it ...

This week: Is it really 65 feet, or is it ... y'know ... "65 feet?" Also a novel way to rob a convenience store: waving snakes around! And when the karaoke machine shuts down at 2:30AM, it's time for going home, not target practice ...

This week: A dump truck driver leaves his dump behind, a golden toilet leads to heft consequences, and when you try to scale Chichén Itzá you should be prepared for some very angry locals ...

This week: Ever forgotten your passport before a flight? Well, it's worse if you're the pilot. Also a 2000 year old Greek statue is found in a trash bag because art critics are the worse, and sometimes you just want to drive into the sea ... but maybe don't use your dad's car.

This week: A Cybertruck thief fails to steal a Cybertruck, but instead of taking the win that entails he goes back for the stuff he left inside! Also this week, never forget the same plumber who can fix your pipes also knows how to break them and when life gives you lemons, try to start a fight at a child's lemonade stand ...

This week: Not only do crocs look hideous, they'll ruin your car insurance! Also this week, Triple A can fix a lot of stuff but not a police standoff and since when is it illegal to sell human bones on Facebook? I thought this was America!

This week: The co-founder of Business Insider creates his own "AI" workforce, then hits on them! Also a Boeing 787 does battle with a lawn and loses, and we watch two alligators who really want to come inside for a visit ...

This week: An Easter Egg hunt that leads to an arrest warrant, a man offers the police chasing him a little light refreshment and I've heard of climbing to higher altitude for better reception but this is ridiculous ...