Many people…some people…all right, one person wanted to know just how Johnny Mnemonic ended! Well here it is, the multi-faceted ending to the FMV game Johnny Mnemonic!

While searching the Internet for some FMV footage, I stumbled across this stinker for Super Wing Commander, a game I never knew existed for a console that had a higher price point in 1994 than the Playstation 3 had in 2006. So you know this game had to be awesome, right?

Guys…I just… I don’t even know how to start with this. This… Well, this is the most wrongity-wrong goddamn thing I think I’ve ever done. Look, I took the ladies out for a drink or two, we got to talking, and uh…things got weird. In the parlance of Ric Flair, they took a ride on Space Mountain. WOOOO! Do not watch this video. I’m serious. This is Not Safe For Sanity.

It’s a Crisis of Infinite Insanos! Hypertime is collapsing, and only the allied Linkaras of the multiverse can battle the Anti-Comic that is WARRIOR! SKRONK!

Pirate Captain Smiling Jack D’Arcy brings to you his meticulously calculated lists of the best of all things piratical! Part the Firste details the best and greatest pirate comics ever made! Just don’t tell Cap’n Link-ARRRRRR-a!

Okay, so maybe the first list was a bust. So here’s a list of all the greatest pirate videogames of all time!

Time for a list of the greatest pirate movies! And they’re all rated ARRR!

Smilin’ Jack is a big roleplayer, but he prefers to LARRRRRRP!

Scrub all you like, the filthiness just won’t go away! WARNING: For adult audiences only.

Sage and Spoony team up to take down the animated abortion known as, “Space Thunder Kids”.

A dark, bleak story about the ultimate triumph of evil over reason and decency!

Spoony & LordKaT play Bloodwings: Pumpkinhead's Revenge ... until they win.

Damn good coffee. This is a live, uncut playthrough of Deadly Premonition for the Dreamc– I mean, XBOX 360!

It’s a Crisis of Infinite Insanos as Hypertime is jetjacked beyond all belief!

Spoony and Pat the NES Punk review the 4th Highlander movie in the franchise. Part 1 of 3.

Part 2 of 3.

Part 3 of 3.

The Power Rangers do battle with one of the most destructive monsters in cinematic history! It’s time at last to find out…WHO IS DEADLIEST?

Can Sage and Spoony survive Garzey’s Wing, often regarded as the worst anime of all time?

Spoony stumbles upon the darkest secret of the BLAGHO…

Zombies man, they freak me out.

The thrilling conclusion of the Warrior comic series culminates with Linkara, Spoony, and the other TGWTG hosts fighting the complete collapse of Hypertime under the weight of all the Destrucity!

Spoony counts down his favorite laugh-out-loud moments of his videos from 2011!

Noah & Miles team up for the most unsettling cultural train-wreck of a meal, as they combine Highlander Brew and Mead with a cuisine of bratwurst, mashed potatoes, and about 6 lbs of European candy brought back from Ireland!

Something very, very wrong happened at ConBravo between Doctor Insano and one his his many archnemeses, Doctor Holocaust & Captain Awesome.

Spoony invades the Anime Milwaukee convention, but also picks up a little culture on a date with his gal April to Mizuwa. Now together they try a bunch of baked goods and the most bizarre Japanese sodas available!

Seriously, it’s Linkara. He even wears the hat.

My SGC adventure kicks off with a Q&A panel in front of a crowd oddly obsessed with Final Fantasy (more so than usual, anyway). Honestly, things get saved from Square-Enix when the panel is crashed by one of the few people from my awesome past who doesn’t want to boldly punch me!

My showcase panel of SGC begins with a riff of the little-known and little-watched Final Fantasy anime! It features chocobos, giant mushroom monsters, and an apartment building for ants. Take the last train to Wonderland! Sorry the audio isn’t very good. Not much I can do about it.

Every night they shufflin’.

This is what separates Chuck E. Cheese mascots from party clowns: Chuck E. Cheese has an instructional video to show him how not to touch little children.

I can’t wait for a Radio Shack gaming console! But does it require a persistent online connection?

Back when Sony and Sega would resort to poison gas pizzas to learn Nintendo’s secrets.

Turns out you can load all that data into the back of a truck.

This is it! The SGC Riff series concludes with some SEGA!!!

The power is yours! Choose the next entry intro the Blago!

Eight men met for battle, and when the smoke cleared, only one was left intact.

Live at Animecon 2013, Noah & Ben voiced infamous Hentai Visual Novel: Let’s Meow Meow ! WARNING: DEFINITELY NOT SAFE FOR WORK. ADULT AUDIENCES ONLY.

Technically, this is an unofficial, out-of-continuity episode of the series, as this particular fan donation does not come with a video of any sort! Brad Jones and Brian Lewis join up to play the Justin Bieber Board Game to find out, once and for all, who the biggest Belieber really is!

It’s time…

The unvirtuous force meets the inscrutable object!

Better 1, or better 2? I’ll let you decide.

British hates the little children.

You kids and your Photoshop…

Will I pop the question or not?

The Avatar loses a lot more than an eighth.

New nasty ramune! Horrors from the Japanese bakery! Will Spoony finally upchuck?

Part 1 of 6.

Now begins the most arduous labor Hercules has ever faced.

April has made it her personal mission to capture the first ever on-screen Spoony projectile vomit. And she might just pull it off.

If I’m going to give the Barbarians the finger, I might as well do it right.

In which I explain how to properly take a dump on someone's carpet.

Battle tested, Spoony approved! This is how epic fantasies are made!

It’s new and improved! And that’s really, really sad. This is an edited version of a livestream I did a few months ago that probably says more than any scripted review ever could. Yeah, I quit after 20 minutes. I quit because they wanted me to kill squirrels & ladybugs. I quit because my first quest was delivering pie. Way to suck me into the action, guys. By this time in DC Universe I was blasting my way out of a Brainiac invasion ship. By this time in Star Trek Online I was fighting off a fucking Borg cube. By this time in Final Fantasy 14 I was handing off a fucking pie. Fuck the pie and fuck this game. I quit because after all this time, it’s a dirt-average fantasy MMO with nothing separating it from the thousands of others.

This game sssuuuUUUUuuuucckkkkssss.