The Bald And The Beautiful

Alaska 5000 talks beauty icons, making catchy music, and finally realizing how beautiful she is while on molly at Burning Man. Brace yourself for some not-so-glamorous drag memories, nostril waxing, and what the hell is ear candling?

Living legend and inventor of everything Jackie Beat joins Trixie and Katya to discuss the best lighting for hook-ups, the ideal wigs for entertaining gentleman callers, and how the movie Carrie changed her life forever.

Join Trixie and Katya for an intimate conversation about circuit parties, society's obsession with weight, and the socially-responsible act of masturbation. Also featured: tips for the lonely during quarantine.

Join Trixie and Katya as they discuss guest Sasha Belle's (aka Frisbee Jenkins) hot body, what's it like being a drag queen from Iowa, and what Sasha won't do on OnlyFans.

Trixie and Katya are joined by the species-and-genre-defying Miss Fame, to talk about the futility of tik tok, the sadder side of fame, and the journey from humble beginnings to going shopping with celebrities and not being able to afford anything.

Trixie and Katya are joined by Canadian YouTuber, socialite, actress, and model: the one-and-only Gigi Gorgeous! They tackle toxic YouTube comments, silly insecurities, excess labia, and insanely inappropriate questions on live TV from Katie Couric.

Straight from the Great White North, Trixie and Katya are joined by Canadian TV personality, drag queen, and winner of Canada's 2020 Drag Race: the queen Priyanka! Topics covered in this episode include the joys of nasal COVID swabs, the ancient drinking traditions of Newfoundland, b*******e sex in drag, and consensual dick pics.

All aboard, folks. Our tour guides today will be Trixie and Katya. From teenage brides to Nick Nolte fantasies to grandpa sex, we guarantee you'll be a better person by the end of this episode. Come for the tips about sex with old people, stay for the wisdom about spousal finances.

This week Trixie and Katya are joined by the infamous, inimitable star of Drag Race season 7, legend of stage and screen, Mrs. Kasha Davis! They talk Botox, witch hazel, trash bags full of dollar bills, and how to keep a long-time marriage spicy after more than a decade. (hint: it involves wigs)

Trixie & Katya are joined this week by the runner-up in the twelfth season of RuPaul's Drag Race, the Gigi Goode! The convo runs the gamut from Australian accents to hot Scooby-Doo characters to wig confidence to the olfactory evils of Drakkar Noir.

From Scream to Romeo + Juliet to Bowfinger to Malibu's Most Wanted, this week's guest is an outright entertainment legend. Trixie & Katya are joined by actor, comedian, and screenwriter Jamie Kennedy! The three showbiz souls put their brains together to solve social media, decide that Clubhouse is not a thing, and reminisce about the glory days of the 90s when the term, "followers" meant creepy people that would actually follow you around. Also, Katya learns how to lease a car. It's truly magnificent.

As we look out onto the gray skies and bleak landscape that herald the doldrums of winter, this week's episode with Trixie and Katya is here to be the warm beverage that soothes your soul until the light of springtime finally arrives to brighten your day. They also discuss the perils of marathon turds.

From a mysterious cabin in the remote wilderness comes a guest with beauty credentials that are truly unprecedented in the history of the podcast. The otherworldly deity of the forest, also known as Pearl, joins Trixie and Katya for an amazing conversation about beauty buses, glitter secrets, the magic of wilderness weed, and the joys of avoiding humanity.

Today the girls are joined by the most-famous blonde about town, makeup-artist extraordinaire, and legendary painter of beautiful faces, Darian Darling! Come for the juicy behind-the-scenes stories, stay for the self-deprecating jokes about her impossibly fabulous life.

The peerless, legendary, incomparable queen of TikTok, Brittany Broski (aka "Kombucha Girl"), joins Trixie and Katya to talk about her massive podcast, her vanilla musk scent, the perils of meme culture, her stellar cosmeceuticals skills, and the hidden joys of being internet famous in the real world.

From advice on locating your ferociously fierce inner diva to an erudite debate on the existence of an afterlife to a deep-dive on Michael Shannon's private parts, this episode is without a doubt the best podcast episode in the history of recorded sound. Lastly, if you don't agree with this ridiculously hyperbolic statement, you're likely going to a version of hell where you have to sit in a room and smell a burnt onion recipe for eternity.

As part of our special Mother's Day Bald and the Beautiful Extravaganza, we are so excited to welcome Trixie's Mom to the show. Folks, this is like a Jerry Springer episode on steroids. We're talking extreme drug addiction, baby mamas, aliens, cults, and secret second families in Canada. In all honesty, Trixie and her Mom both led shockingly well-adjusted lives and love each other very much. But they do talk about edibles, familial drama, and Trixie's Mom getting hit on whilst in drag. So it's not all rainbows and ponies, people. (but it is very touching at times, which is disgusting)

Part 2 of our special Mother's Day Bald and the Beautiful Extravaganza continues as we welcome Katya's Mom to the podcast! After recovering from the only known case of COVID hemorrhoids, she is fresh out of acute posterior rehab and ready to talk about Katya's placenta, her tragic deli-based skull injuries as an infant, and the actual legal name she was given at birth. This episode is touching. It's confusing. It's kinda gross. In other words, it's a microcosm of genuine motherly love.

Fresh off an insane trip to Mexico for the kitty litter party of all kitty litter parties, Katya regales us with tales of hallucinations where she had an in-depth conversation about Franklin Delano Roosevelt's economics polices with a purple frog whilst on the deck of the Titanic. (in reality, she threw up a bunch after taking some psychedelics, but the purple frog/FDR story sounds amazing, right?) From a physical rebirth south of the border to Madonna's greatest acting performance to the joys of a shorn a**hole, today's episode is, quite simply, marvelous. Enjoy.

Today, the gods of show business saw fit to rain down upon the grizzled gay ghouls of the Bald and the Beautiful with the brilliance, the eminence, the sheer megawatt starness that is: Chelsea Handler. So stop what you're doing, take your spoon out of that peanut butter jar you filthy animal, and pour yourself a fizzy, New Jersey-inspired wine spritzer. For on this fine day, you heathens, you all shall feast with the comedy gods as Trixie, Katya, and comedian, TV host, advocate and six-time New York Times best-selling author Chelsea Handler talk microdosing, vagina cabins, and the myriad joys of being childless and alone during a worldwide pandemic. Don't forget to check out Chelsea's new HBO Max special "Evolution" and her new podcast, "Dear Chelsea"!

As Katya undergoes the world's first experimental belly button-bleaching surgery in the mountains of Tanzania and Trixie puts the finishing touches on her long-gestating Alf biography, the girls are blessing your ears with a much-needed revisiting of their ground-breaking, laughter-inducing, bladder-destroying first episode of the podcast. That's right, folks. This is where it all started. Or ended, depending upon how you feel about the show. So find a spot on your couch that isn't stained with fluorescent yellow nacho cheese, and pop open a Bartles & Jaymes wine cooler for 50-ish minutes of pure auditory ecstasy.

Put some extra ice in that Arnold Palmer, unwrap a refreshing York Peppermint Patty, and crank up that air conditioning, you sweaty hogs. Rejoice as we celebrate the swamp-ass-laden zenith of summer! Amidst crappy news of hurricanes and political turmoil, we take a fantastical trip down memory lane to discuss disco music, swimming pool self-abuse, gift-giving etiquette, and the sheer brilliance of 90's music videos.

From the lows of making an unfortunate calendar-based Twitter faux pas to the highs of a stupendous, scintillating, splendiferous Violet Chachki performance, today's episode is a shining beacon of light upon a hilltop surround by the dreck that is the contemporary podcast oeuvre. Put down that dollar-store frozen burrito, slap on some deodorant, and try to pretend that you're a civilized human being for forty-five minutes instead of a rancid sack of flesh and hair. Also, Happy Labor Day, you heathens.

From the reproductive F.U.B.A.R. that is Texas to the epic grunts and fiery topspin of female tennis players to Trixie's unseating of Diplo as the world's most famous DJ, today's episode is chock-full of life lessons and inspirational teachings to help you be a better, loving human being. Or it's 45 minutes of two queens talking about sex, drugs, and polygamy. You'll have to listen to find out.

Times, friends, they are a changin'. From a full-throated endorsement of the Cheesecake Factory's Skinnylicious Menu to an erudite debate about wigs in film to a profession of unadulterated love towards Panda Express's orange chicken, this week's episode begs the question, "Should Trixie and Katya spend less time together?"

From rubber genitalia in a parking lot to refried bean-induced gastrointestinal distress to broom closets stuffed with depressed backup dancers, today's episode is a life-lesson in how to turn off your AM radio, sit down in a quiet room with saltines and warm milk, and thank whatever heathen god you happen to worship for your blessed life. And if you don't believe you lead a blessed life, you will after experiencing the unadulterated joy that is slowly consuming crispy saltines and room-temperature milk in a silent, darkened room.

As we plan a few forthcoming Bald projects to satiate you filthy heathens, we re-visit one of our favorite episodes with the peerless, legendary, incomparable queen of TikTok, Brittany Broski (aka "Kombucha Girl"). She joins Trixie and Katya to talk about her intoxicating vanilla musk scent, the perils of meme culture, her stellar cosmeceuticals skills, and the secret magic of Dave & Buster's.

As the Bald & the Beautiful creative team engages in To-The-Death team-building exercises in a volcano off the shores of North Africa, we'd like to revisit one of our favorite episodes with editor, producer, & creator of the legendary internet phenomenon Jiz, Jeff Maccubbin! Extraordinarily erudite topics are discussed, such as POV porn, inserting birds into UNHhhh, and the shortcomings of our public school system. Also cum. Lots and lots of talk about cum.

As Fall finally arrives and brings with it the deaths of millions upon millions of poor, innocent leaves, let's take a moment to reflect on the comedic genius that is Macy Rodamn's Caitlyn Jenner impersonation. As the Bald creative team puts the finishing touches on the next great American novel, we revisit the time that artist, singer, actor, and IGTV Hall of Famer Macy Rodman joined the girls in the studio to discuss her Caitlyn Jenner Impersonation, Lana Del Rey-fueled Twitter Mobs, and the absolute insanity of Wendy Williams. This one was all over the place topic-wise, but it's not about the destination. It's about the journey, folks.

This week's episode is a special occasion, you filthy animals. So trim your nose hair, shave your shoulders, and slather on some Drakkar Noir to cover up your disgusting musk. Trixie and Katya explore such weighty topics as traveling toddlers, murderous maladies, and automotive intercourse. So dim the lamps, light the jack-o-lantern, and settle in to experience the most terrifying tales of mung-diving you'll hear this entire Halloween season.

Fresh off a semi-successful back-alley appendix surgery in the frigid Midwest, Trixie joins Katya to talk about her end-of-life epiphany: from here on out, it's goodwill, love, and charity forever! Or, in reality, they talk about painful diarrhea, airplane breakfasts, and yeast infections. Either way, here's some brand-spanking-new Bald content for you filthy peasants.

As Trixie continues her convalescence in a rustic chalet in the heart of the Swiss Alps, Katya joins her for an education on the health benefits of red wine and fondue when consumed at high altitudes. Eventually, the two touch upon such weighty topics as thermometer technology, hetero-societal wedding norms, micro-penis charities, and the perils of porn fasts.

Close the sashes, draw the curtains, light some candles, and let's welcome the one, the only, Guillermo from What We Do in the Shadows, Harvey Guillén! Listen as Trixie and Katya fan-girl the f**k out in an amazing interview which covers everything from Harvey's magical audition story to the show's countless running gags to the ever-expanding set & costume design in subsequent seasons. If you've ever seen this shockingly funny show, today's episode will hit you like a migraine of joy with a side of merriment.

As trees across the nation cease the production of chlorophyll and we celebrate the slow, agonizing death of leaves, let us pause for a moment and reflect on the little things we mistakenly deem important in our tiny, inconsequential, ultimately meaningless lives: random voicemails from 2019, Wife Swap marathons, and the image of Lady Gaga eating a cannoli whilst dripping mascarpone all over her Oscar statue.

The city is silent. The streets are empty. As a grizzled gay ghoul sits alone in a dimly-lit apartment, his belly warmed from a 12-year-old Scotch, he looks down at his crotch. It might be the booze or that ill-advised 2am bean burrito, but his little friend down south begins speaking. He strains his ears to hear what the little guy is saying: "Come closer. Put on some headphones. Henceforth, you will be known as DJ Crypto Meth."

From music stardom as a teenager to a Grammy win with Santana to numerous appearances on TV and Film, Michelle Branch has been an icon of rock and pop music for more than two decades. This week, the insanely talented singer and songwriter joins Trixie to discuss her illustrious career, her family life, and everything in between.

The fragrant garland has been lovingly hung, a faint scent of Douglas fir is carried on the breeze, and a nip is clearly in the air. As the decorative gourds from Thanksgiving slowly decay in a rusty dumpster next to the backdoor of a shady Thai restaurant, it's impossible to ignore: the holiday season is upon us. And what better season than the winter solstice celebration to discuss the best local Sniffies stairwells & parking garages, memorable visible p*nis lines, and the definition of "too famous for Grindr". Hang your nylon stockings, suck on that cinnamon stick, and mull that wine you filthy b*tches, because here's another amazing episode to bring you tidings of sickeningly good cheer.

'Twas four days before Christmas, and all through the club, not a single bear was stirring, not even a cub. The fishnets were hung, by the faux fireplace with care, in the hopes that Trixie and Katya, would magically sprout thick, luscious hair. They were comfy and nestled, all snug in their beds, whilst questions of "Who would play her?" danced through their heads. When out on the boulevard, there arose such a clatter, it was their crazy neighbor Andre, dressed like the Mad Hatter. He yelled up to their window, "Hey Trixie! Hey Katya! Come down and let's party!" To which Trixie replied, "I can't! I had Taco Bell and now I'm a bit farty!" As Andre ran away, in a ketamine-fueled haze, Trixie and Katya turned to the camera and yelled, "To all the Bald & Beautiful listeners, we wish you Happy F**king Holidays!"

As 2021 comes to a not-so-glorious close, let us reflect upon the things that matter most to us in a world filled with death, destruction, and chaos: reupholstered couches, scathing movie reviews, and the solemn act of cancelling otherwise-amazing New Years Eve plans in favor of binging TV whilst wearing a popcorn-dispensing hat. From all of us here at the Bald & Beautiful headquarters, Happy New Years you filthy troglodytes. Believe it or not, we'll see you in 2022.