You Can't Do That on Television

Carl Segan Meets Millions and Millions of Martians will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Doug goes into outer space to meet the aliens that he'd been communicating with.

Wild, Wild Kingdom will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Lisa gets made-up all flashy looking. When Alasdair insults her new look, she punches him, causing him to think he's different animals.

Ripley's Incredibly Amazing Believe It or Not People will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Ross plugs his new egg farm (at Route 12, King Side Road) by having Alasdair break the world record for number of hard boiled eggs eaten in one sitting.

Mr. T Thinks He's a Girl will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Alasdair tries out different jobs to see which one is right for him. Lisa does a paper for school on what people want to do for their careers.

The Wreck of the Love Boat will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Lisa thinks that being optimistic will save her plant from dying.

Love Connection Short Circuits will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Doug pretends to be Cupid and tries to fix up the entire cast with a girl/boyfriend.

Super Monster Theatre will not be seen at this time so that we may present... As everyone confesses what he or she is afraid of, the Locker Monster attacks Vanessa.

Family Ties Tied Much Too Tight will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Ross convinces Alasdair that he may be the descendant of a millionaire. Ross then sells fake family trees to the rest of the cast, showing them as being related to Napoleon.

Rambo Shoots the Ayatollah will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Ross decides to get rich by selling Instant Revenge to the cast members. Alasdair decides to do it in cognito as the Masked Revenger.

Children of the Corn will not be seen at this time so that we may present... A great movie director had come to make a movie out of YCDTOTV. None of the cast members pass the audition, though, which is filled with slime droppings.