Royal Canadian Air Farce

Bush Forgets Canada: President George W. Bush thanks all the countries that were in the coalition with the United States against terrorism, but forgets about one important country, and learns the hard way that ""C"" stands for Canada. New Digital Channels, Part 1: The Crocodile Hunter Network and Chum's latest ""MUCH"" Channel. CTV News with Wolf and Greta: Lloyd Robertson reports the week's news and interviews CNN's Greta Van Susteren and Wolf Blitzer on terrorism. New Digital Channels, Part 2: The FPJMN Network and Endangered Species Network. Prime Minister Jean Chrétien's Press Conference: Jean Chrétien responds to the alleged snub of Canada in George Bush's address to the American people. New Digital Channels, Part 3: The Water Network and Pigeon Sex Channel. Weakest (Canadian) Link: Margaret Atwood (author), Ralph Klein (premier of Alberta), and Neil Young (singer and guitarist) are competing against each other in Canada's Weakest Link! Newsworld Today: Joe Clark and Nan

A Message From Air Canada: At Air Canada, desperate times require desperate measures. Stockwell Day's Caucus Meeting: Stockwell Day addresses the remaining members of his caucus/party: Stockwell Day. New Digital Channels, Part 4: The Numbers Channel and the Roadie Channel. The Three Divas: Celine Dion (Sheila McCarthy) and Rita MacNeil team up as a dynamic diva duo after a leaving of one of it's members. Erectile Difficulties: Erectile Dysfunction can be a laughing matter, when someone reveals their problem with Sean Cullen. Ron Bickel: Computer Anti-Virus: Ron Bickel's email virus solution is slick as he presents a new method. Scream TV President: The President of the new horror channel, Scream TV, is a real... scream! Health Check, Part 2: The Medical Profession: Dr. Joy Thoms speaks with Dr. Heather O'Brien about the largest challenge facing the medical profession. Jaws 2001: Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day; teach a man to fish shark and he'll probably get

News From Away: Jimmy & Shamus reports on Canada's population, air travel, security checks at airports, U.S. humanitarian food drops, the best way to defeat Osama bin Laden, the Ontario-Vermont border and cousin Mavis O'Toole provides the business report. Ukrainian General's Translation: A Ukrainian military representative explains travel safety, with simultaneous english translation. John Manley's Immigration Test: Immigration Minister John Manley announces a new security measure: a Canadian quiz to pass the border. CNN Report: CNN explains about many aspects of the war coverage with an interview with CNN's Aaron Brownn and the CNN correspondent. Martha Stewart Living: Cloning: Martha Stewart creates a clone using household items. Jean Chrétien & Larry King: Jean Chrétien talks to CNN's Larry King about Canada and the war on terrorism. Nicoderm Patch: A commercial on a smoking patch that really works, which was edited two times. Off The Record: Sportstalker Michael Lands

Dave The Cabbie: Dave the cabbie talks about Premier Mike Harris' resignation; Canada Post and toxic substances; Canadian food drops; Alexa McDonough; Bono's visit to Chrétien; Paul McCartney's benefit concert; Canada Savings Bonds; and a new CFL team in Ottawa. Anne McLellan: Anti-Terrorist Legislation: Justice Minister Anne McLellan's new anti-terrorist legislation targets everyone. bin Laden Watch, Part 1: The search for the most notorious felon since the guy who invented bank service charges. Hurricane Tourists: A tourist couple is blown away by Hurricane Iris. bin Laden Watch, Part 2: Political Spotlight: The show where politicians burn themselves. bin Laden Watch, Part 3: History Channel Promo: : Revisionist History, righting Canadian historical wrongs. Air Canada Board Presentation: Robert Milton hires an ad person to help his ailing airlines. Bono visits Chrétien: Jean Chrétien talks with Bono and acts like a bozo. bin Laden Watch, Part 4: Brenda at the

Canadian Moment: Air Farce's donut shop quartette talk about the Canadian Alliance party, Canadians gaining an hour of sleep, Air Canada, bank rate drops, Al Qaeda, Canada's Immigration Department hires new recruits, drug company threatens to sue government, Hooters new credit card, Michael Jackson, comet passes earth, and Mike Harris. Nation's Business: GM Food: Health minister Allan Rock goes on genetically modified food frenzy. Sopranos Promo: The Sopranos contains extreme violence, coarse language and men with high voices. BBC Interviews Tony Blair: Tony Blair is interviewed about the war situation with George Bush against Afghanistan. He explains about non-action and action, spoken like a true politician. He promises to attack terrorism with his country's most threatening weapon - The Royal Family. Local Report: Two anchors talk about different things occuring in the world including the death of the famous, Bongo the Lion. Osama Videotape: Cave fever has a delusional Osa

Chicken Cannon News: Chicken Cannon News targets the Canadian dollar woes, Allan Rock, Cipro shipment, U.S. Post Office's new motto, Newfoundland's new name, Conrad Black's lordship, CIBC job cuts, cigarette tax, container ship stowaway, Stockwell Day, TD Bank computer crash, Nova Scotia nudists, Bill Clinton, Kelowna snake mom and Michael Jordan. CTV News: CSIS Interview: Sandie Rinaldo interviews the unknown spy. Chrétien & Martin: December Budget: Jean Chrétien and Paul Martin's meeting about the budget. Health Quiz: 4 out of 5 doctors feel The Canadian Health Quiz is the best quiz since the last quiz. Dave Broadfoot - Bartholomew: A geezer goes one on one with a biker gang and explains about his experiences. Glen Clark Commercial: Glen Clark's deck building company offers 100% off to B.C. politicians. Talking To Afghans:CBC's newest comedy featuring Rick Mercer - Talking to Afghans where Mercer interviews with Afghanistan people about the war situation. And his respond

MacIntosh Marriage: A Scottish lad from the MacIntosh clan discovers the wife, he has picked is incompatible after a talk with his parents. Curling Marriage Breakup: The sport of curling leaves a marriage on the rocks. Mike Wine Tasting: Mike from Canmore enters a wine tasting meeting. Olympic Luge: Communications is very important for a successful two man Luge team. Jock McBile - Debt/PM's: Jock shows us how we got to our present debt (1994) from former Prime Ministers Pierre Trudeau to Brian Mulroney. Mobile Phone on Train: A commuter derails a couple of cell phone users. Washroom Ladder Rental: A washroom attendant has his sights set on climbing the corporate ladder.

Wendy Report: The Wendy Report reports on Canada 3000, proposed CBC-CTV merge, women who fall asleep after making love, fertile sperm findings, the Taliban, Osama bin Laden's nuclear collection, and the anthrax scare. Anthrax Emergency: Emergency Task Force officers deal with a suspicious package. Harry Potter: Harry Potter merchandise makes your money all magically disappear. There are many useless items on sale, for hundreds of dollars, now at local stores, and you must watch the movie againa dn again and again. CNN Time Delay Interview: : CNN's Aaron Brown experiences interview lag with Christiane Amanpour. Critic - New TV Season: Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me sinks his teeth into the new TV season. Caplan at Immigration: Elinor Caplan struts her stuff as Minister in Charge of Not Letting Terrorists into Canada. Bush Address: George W. Bush performs his new song on the situation with Osama bin Laden and like the saying goes, ""War is Party!""

News From Away: Jimmy & Shamus report on Nelson Mandela's Canadian citizenship, Conrad Black, Afghanistan Pakool Hats, Harry Potter, the G-20 meeting, death of Andrew McNally, Bernard Landry, the Grey Cup, Royal Bank, Paul Anka, Women's Brains and Canadian troops. Weather Network: Traveller's Forecast: U.S. Special Forces Briefing: American Special Forces in Afghanistan learn whack-a-Laden as part of basic training. bin Ladin is fast and craft, and you do not know where he will show up next. Chrétien & Martin - New VIA Train: Jean Chrétien learns VIA Rail is like the liberal party, both carry a lot of useless freight. Weather Network: Overnight Forecast: Conrad Black Fairy Tale: In the land of Cross Harbour, Lord Tubby Black rules with an iron tongue. Weather Network: Hurricane: Geraldo in Afghanistan: The Rivera Brothers get involved in the war situation and they must search for Osama in a cave. Sister Bonaventure - Expos: The demise of the Montréal Expos leaves The Cu

Stan's Travel: Stan's traveloffers the cheapest prices for travelling the world! Sims & Financial Expert: Business analyst Linda ""Skunkhead"" Sims cautions a reporter at the supermarket not to upset her. Mansbridge & Bin Laden's Right Hand Man: Peter Mansbridge interviews Afghanistan's puppet regime about Osama bin Laden's position. Headline News: Heads-Up News where just the heads read the news. Landry Explains: Québec Premier Bernard Landry has renamed the PQ the TQ, the Taliban Québecois and renamed the major cities of Quebec and the province's name too, to Quebekistan. Cape Breton Coal Miner: An unemployed miner is clearing out the area after mining stops. Canadian Tire Couple: Mr. and Mrs. Fix had some great gift ideas, which make you grateful that Christmas comes only once a year. Vacuums, exploding birds, etc... Smokers Corner: Puffers pontificate on Canadian troops on hold, WTN firings, NDP name change, weight loss with high frequency sounds, cloning Human Embryos,

Dave The Cabbie: Dave the cabbie high-flags Canadian borders, Rogers Internet disruption, the bombing of Yassar Arafat, Vancouver terrorist sentenced, Stockwell Day, Toronto's garbage, Air Canada complaints, George Harrison, Canadians' donations to New York, Pierce Brosnan as being the sexiest man of year, shyness drug and human cloning. Bin Laden Watch Returns #1: Osama seen selling hot dogs in front of the Calgary Saddledome, and at a Nortel Meeting. Sports Central Co-Hosts: The Dynamic Diction Duo comes up with the current sports and recent sports news. Bin Laden Watch Returns #2: Osama spotted in the Coach's Corner of Hockey Night in Canada and one of the Flying Doritos in Vancouver. Martin Prepares Budget: Paul Martin speaks about a new budget in Canada. Bin Laden Watch Returns #3: Osama sighted in a scouts troop in Moncton, New Brunswick. English Pie: A discussion between Prince Charles and Prince William. Book Review: Heather Reisman's book hit list. Reel to Real

This one-hour New Year's Eve Special gathered up many of the best segments of each show in the year 2001: Chrétien & Larry King Harry Potter Digital Channels #1 U.S. Special Forces Briefing Nancy Wilson: Napster with Keith Richards Digital Channels #2 Talking To Afghans Manning Resigns Politically Correct ""O Canada"" Manley Immigration Test Bush Forgets Canada Farm Aid - The Opera Dyer Report Stockwell's News Conference Digital Channels #3 CNN Time Delay Interview Hedy Fry Apology Bouchard & Duceppe: That's Separation Linda Sims & John Roth: Nortel Dragoderm Stan's Internet Baby Service Pringle & Landry Weakest Canadian Link

Chicken Cannon: Target of 2001: The Chicken Cannon takes aim at the viewer-voted Target of the Year 2001. Also Alfanso Gagliano, Argentina, Stockwell Day, Ecoli in Regina, Buffalo, warm Canadian winter, search for Osama, Bin Laden's cave, shoe bomber, Hell's Angels, Australian fires, oldest man, Nelly Furtado, Michael Jordan's divorce, propaganda filmmaker and gay UPS doll. Investigative Science: In the race to produce pig parts for humans a scientist wins by a snout. Critic: 2001 Year in Entertainment: Critic Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me uncovers 2001's entertainment highs and lows. Olympic Moment: The Skeleton: An Olympic coach sends his athlete on a downhill path. Canada 3000: Canada 3000 returns on a wing and a prayer as Canada $29.95. Guy Lafleur for ED: The aging hockey star, Montreal Canadiens forward Guy Lafleur deals with Erectile Dysfunction. Chrétien Addresses The Troops: Jean Chrétien gives Canadian soldiers an Afghani survival kit - soup, Buckley cough syrup and Curl

CTV News Net: Martin & Sims: Paul Martin has difficulty figuring which loonie is in more trouble, the Canadian dollar or Linda ""Skunkhead"" Sims. Videopinion: Postage Increase: Wally and Junior experience stamp rage. A Postcard from John Manley: John Manley travels around the world and reveals them as photo ops. Always Right: Radio right-winger commentator Les Morley promotes his new book, ""Nuke All Them Bastards"". Ford Plant: Crash Test Dummy: The president of Ford begins to lay off some of the workers including a down-sized Ford crash test dummy encounters his biggest fear - unemployment. Afghani TV: Under The Burqa: The Shania Twain of Kandahar sings her song that's with the bullet - ""Under the Burqa."" Wendy Report: The Wendy Report looks at Enron, K-Mart, Mike Tyson (and his new ""beeping"" book), and Prince Charles: addiction counsellor (and going for his next challenge after his son - Ralph Klein). She discusses with Joe Clark, Ted the Timid, and Craig Oliver - the Walke

Dave The Cabbie: Dave the cabbie talks about government's $3.3 billion mistake, Parliament re-opens, Mike Tyson, Canadian on FBI list, K-Mart's president, Groundhog Day, Preston Manning's retirement and McDonald's new Gretzky pucks. Huckley's Cough Syrup, Part 1: Huckley's president has a healing prescription for a kid, and it has to work... Dyer Report: Afghanistan Mission: Military analysts Gwynne Dyer comments on Canada's lean, mean fighting machine. Huckley's Cough Syrup, Part 2: A Huckley's employee reveals just what the ingredients are in their cough syrup. Cover Up: paranormal programming for the paranoid. Bush Addresses Nation: President Bush gets all choked up about snack food and even water. Dick Cheney watches on, getting ready to become the next president. Minority News Report: This news team has everything it needs - a token woman and visible minority. They report on the Canadian embassy in Kabul, Ontario's drinking water, Ontario PC leadership race, Alzheimer'

O.J. Clue NEW! from Parkers Brothers: O.J. clue. Can you figure out how O.J. did it? Coalgate Children learn the importance of complimenting the teacher. Stan's Long Distance Company Tired of paying those monopolies through the nose? Try Stan's Long Distance! Mr. Diaper Don't get caught with your pants down again! Norton Union's Funeral Coverage Plus Norton Union's coverage makes sure you can't take it with you! Hemo-Blaster Do you suffer from the pain and itch of hemorrhoids? So does this guy! Klutzes Hotline This new late night chat service will leave you head over heels in love. Stan's Eye Clinic Stan's Eye Clinic offers neither the latest, nor the greatest, in laser eye surgery. Feminist Monopoly Just in time for Christmas, the newest game on the market, Feminist Monopoly. Zintac 78 Zintac 78: All natural, and drug free (if you don't count the demerol!) Sacre Bleu Coureurs de bois paddle their canoe and peddle beer!

I'm Gonna Burst! Roger and Don discover that anything can happen when you put snack food down your pants. If At First You Don't Succeed... John finds out that a hard to hang picture is worth a thousand laughs. Somebody Call 911! Someone should have shown Luba how to operate the fire extinguisher BEFORE we taped the sketch! I'm Pam, From Wadena... Luba asks a tongue tied question and John and Don decide to go with it. Gunslinger... Or Not! As President of Haiti, Roger soon discovers that John is doing more behind his back than what was called for in the script! Don't Lose Your Head! Technically, this one isn't John's fault! He just has a large head! The "voice" at the end is that of our director, Perry Rosemond, as he gently tries to reassure John. Big, Juicy Ones Roger struggles with a few adjectives, or maybe he just finally gets the joke right in the middle of a pre-taping a sketch. Keep Your Hat On! Another mishap for which we're ready to hold our usually excellent production crew responsible. In this instance, it's Wardrobe and Special Effects! "Take Longer To Die" Guest star Shaun Majumder hams it up a bit with Roger before rolling tape. And then, he decides to take artistic license with the direction he's given in this sketch! It's A Miracle? Never before seen! A religious sketch taped for our 1996 New Year's Special. Wait for the blooper towards the end of the piece, as Roger, Don and Luba get to see for the first time the handiwork of our special effects co-ordinator. BIO Tech, Not BIG Tech. Canadian Dollar, not... Guest star Janet Van De Graaff makes a slight flub with the term "Bio Techs", and that throws her completely off the script. NOTE: Janet has previously appeared in a commercial for "Canadian Tire". Baah, Baah Mad Sheep... Roger begins to lose his composure in reaction to Don's character as a British Scientist. Our director Perry Rosemond lets the cameras continue to roll, and Don pulls out all stops to keep Roger from ever r

Bob Dylan Bob Dylan mubles through the week's top news stories: Timothy McVeigh, Saudi Terrorists, Heaven's Gate, Yassar Arafat and the British Election. Leonard Cohen Carstairs Carruthers presents Leonard Cohen's "Songs for a cold, dark, dreay night". The Three Tenors The three tenors - Luciano Pavarotti, Placido Domingo and the other guy - sing your favourite songs! Celine Dion Celine Dion has a shattering experience. Stumpy Tom Conway Canadian music icon Stumpy Tom is "inbred, and worry free... just like the Royal Family". Blind Willy Feldman Blind Willy Feldman is singin' the blues cuz his "toaster is broke". Elton John Elton John sings a moving tribute in honour of a recently departed friend. Due South: The Lost Episode Special Guest Paul Gross appears in the Lost Episode of Due South where he must rescue, and serenade his true love, Rita MacNeil. Bob Dylan: 1996 Year in Review Bob mumbles through 1996... Bonus Sketch: CTV News with Lloyd Robertson Technically, not a musical sketch. But Lloyd does manage to belt out a few bars of his favourite opera. (And does a pretty good job of it for one of Canada's most trusted newscasters.)

Williams and Leibel - Olympics Recap: Williams and Leibel recaps the Canada hockey gold rush during the Olympics. Chicken Cannon News: The Chicken Cannon registers a perfect score with the Olympic figure skating judges and reports on Art Eggleton, Gordon Campbell, Ralph Klein, the profits of Royal Bank, Ontario PC leadership race and more. Sandie Rinaldo & French Judge: An interview with Sandie Rinaldo and the French Skating Judge. Olympic Moment - Ski Jump: Olympic security is tighter than a ski jumper's lycra inseam. Chrétien Trade Mission World Tour CD: This commercial promotes Jean Chretien's new world tour soundtrack. Olympic Moment - Goal Judge: The French Skating Judge is back as a Hockey Goal Judge behind the net of the Canadians. Off The Record: Michael Landsberg goes Off The Record with ex-spice girl - Geri Halliwell and the Zoom Zoom kid.

News From Away: Jimmy and Shamus report on Switzerland in the U.N., Chretien comments on Rock/Martin fight, Chretien in Australia, Anne Heche's baby, Prince Edward, pine beetle in British Columbia, Alberta teachers' strike, Guantanamo Baywatch, new cane for the blind, and the Canadian Alliance leadership race. Crocodile Hunter - Reptilicus Regina: The Crocodile Hunter comes nose to nose with the world's most dangerous species - British Royalty. Canadian Fear Factor: Gordon Campbell is the only one left and he must swallow some really disgusting things found in Canada. HAG Insurance: Insurance guarantees that a good husband is a dead husband. Videopinion: A response to the CBC Television Channel. Eggleton Grilled: Minster of Defense Art Eggleton explains he's a slow learner. Ma & Pa Crematorium: A creamtorium that provides an eternal flame to your loved one. Win Paul Martin's Money: 2 Political Figures and a Homeless Man battles for tax dollars from Paul Martin.

Chrétien News Conference: Chretien is interviewed about his visit to the White House. Local Report: Sexton and Drizzle talk about Canada's improving economy, Lake Ontario water rising, tax on feminine hygiene products, Canadian/American softwood lumber deal, St. Patrick's Day, New Canadian census, US prepares nuclear hit list, and a March break commentary. Stockwell Day Pitch: Stockwell Day gives his opinion on the other runners for the Alliance Party and explains that he would be the best leader. Mansbridge - Senior Citizen Driver: Peter Masbridge has a conversation with a 80-year-old senior about seniors driving on the streets. Confused Philosopher: The Confused Philosopher asks more of life's unanswerable questions. Beavertone News - Submarine Leak: A submarine commander discovers he's wet behind his ears, and his feet and his waist... Ralph Klein - Education: After going through rehab, Klein hits the topic of Education in Alberta. Grumpy Old Politically Incorrect Men:

A Canadian Moment: Air Farce donut trio looks at Stephen Harper, Robert Mugabe, Gordon Campbell, Elvis Stojko retires, Caribou flavoured condoms, Nova Scotia nude beach, Shae-Lynne Bourne's top drops, and Ralph Klein. Arafat and Wilson: An interview between CBC Newsworld Host and Yasser Arafat. Mike Harris Swan Song: Ontario premier sings before he leaves the political world. Manley and Stout: John Manely who stares into space during his conversation with Stout. Member For Kicking Horse Pass: The latest update from Dave Broadfoot. Gaglianofather: Alfonso Gagliano defends his political career. Critic At Large: Academy Awards 2002: Critic Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me gives his insights and opinions on all of the important Oscars nominees.

Dave The Cabbie: Dave comments on a cleavage revealing lawyer, Ernie Eves, Michael J. Fox, Celine Dion's new CD, Air Canada gouges travel agents, cell phone drivers, back to school in Afghanistan, National Post proposal, and Dr. Scholl. Margaret Atwood's Tax Tips: Margaret Atwood's tax tips put the fun in refund. Ernie Eves Announcement: Blind Willy Feldman teams up with Ontario's new premier Ernie Eves - the blind leading the blind as they approach their new system and ideas of governing Ontario. Ron Bickel - New Inventions: Ron Bickel's reveal his latest inventions - The Chicken Chair & The Cat Cork. Trudeau Movie Promo: The commercial about the upcoming TV movie about Pierre Trudeau's life as a prime minister. CTV NewsNet: Harper & Sims: Stephen Harper, the new Canadian Alliance Leader explain on Newsnet about his upcoming plans for the party. Clark Movie Promo: Joe Clark's TV movie commercial which highlights his career in politics. A Moment With Stockwell Day: Stockw

Legal Dress Code: A judge mistakes the criminal code for the dress code. Lloyd Interviews Chrétien in Africa: Jean Chretien gets jungle fever in Africa. Videopinion: Taffi's ensemble of tunes for her insight on TV Violence. Wendy Report: Wendy discusses Pierre Trudeau mini-series, Jean Chrétien's new plane, Monarch Butterflies and Canada Customs, Queen Mom and Prince Harry, Yassar Arafat, daylight saving time, Canadian troops in Afghanistan, Jazz Air, and Airport security charge. Then she sits down with David Halton, Preston Manning, and Alanis Morrisette to discuss some other issues. Curmudgeon: New $5 Bill: The Canadian Mint's new five dollar bill has a curmudgeon peeved. Stephen Harper Interview: The new Alliance leader discovers not all interviews he does are about him Grumpy Old Politically Incorrect Women: Two Women converse about news around them while feeding pigeons.

News From Away - Opening: Jimmy & Shamus O'Toole ask the question, ""Air Travel - what's up with that?"" Air Travel: Jean Chrétien: Jean Chrétien's airline logic hits turbulence. A Long Line-up: Airport line-ups keep growing and growing. Air Travel: John Manley: John Manley tries to put a positive spin on Canada's airline industry. Pilots Locked In: A pilot learns never to drink six cups of coffee before entering a locked cockpit. Travel Agent: A lonely travel agent will do anything for some attention. Terrorist Detector: Canada's newest airport security detector is a real bang with passengers. Air Travel Quiz: The Jimmy and Shamus Air Travel quiz. Air Travel: Joe Clark: Joe Clark reminisces about Lester Pearson. Native People's Airlines: Air Flying Beavers - where the bingo dabbers and smokes are free. Air Travel: David Collenette: Transport Minister David Collenette gives Canada's airline industry the thumbs up. Westjet Board Meeting: Westjet employees are droppi

Chicken Cannon News: Chicken Cannon News reports on Colin Powell's meeting with Yassar Arafat, Survivor: West Bank, Saddam Hussein, Gordon Campbell, disco music in Afghanistan and more. Colin Mochrie takes an in-depth look at when the animal world attacks. Expos Fans: A couple of fans are home alone. New Look Newman: Newsworld overdoses on screen clutter and leaves Don Newman with the blahs. Abendigo & Colin Mochrie: Abendigo Winkler interviews improv master Colin Mochrie. Saturn Commercial: The world's most sensitive car salesman is pushed to his limit. Global Warming Restaurant Couple: A romantic dinner turns hot with talk of Global Warming. Java Gab: Java Joe pays lip service to the credit card companies. Chrétiens Return Home: Jean Chrétien visits Ottawa during his latest world tour. Larry King & The Bushes: Larry King gets a terrorist updates from Presidents George and Laura Bush. Health Watch Commercial: Growing old and watching Drug Store commercials can driv