Bizarre ER

Featuring a housewife who performed haberdashery on her husband, stitching up his cut arm with a needle and thread and no anaesthetic, and a golfer who hit the ball straight into his girlfriend's mouth. Plus, how one remarkable little boy survived being skewered like a human kebab on a flagpole.

A&E mops up a massacre after a women's rugby match hospitalises half a team and surgeons operate on a five-year-old's nose to extract life-threatening Lego. Plus, how a man survived falling into a cement mixer.

There's the case of the pole dancer who falls off her pole and onto her head; taekwondo toe woe as a ginger ninja's awkward fall lands him in hospital; and the story of a man whose scalp was shaved off in a car crash and how the surgeons saved him by blowing up his head with balloons.

A rollerblader has a smashing smile after falling flat on his facial piercing; a fisherman gets injured when an anchor is swung into his groin; and how a man ended up with toes on his hands after a very improbable accident.

Featuring a man who has been gored by a raging bullock, a troublesome nail that is going to need more than a manicure to fix, and the chefs whose eyes were fried in their kitchen.

Featuring a frustrated farmer whose knee has been smashed by a runaway sheep; the man who's feeling more than a little rash; and a man savaged by surgeons after accidentally hacking his head in half with an angle grinder.

A plague of pus-filled boils; the man who slices off his finger at the supermarket and brings it to casualty in a carrier bag; and the man whose crucifix conducted a million-volt bolt of lightning through his body but lived to tell the tale.

There's a nasty blockage involving an iPod that isn't music to the ears; a woman whose finger has been ripped off by a dog lead; and the story of a woman whose eye was devoured by a flesh-eating bug.

Includes a man airlifted from a North Sea oil rig after he snorts up a tiny toothpick; a pig-handler who is injured by a sow; and a shopfitter who has a two-metre steel rod plunge from the ceiling into his eye which needed the help of firemen in the operating theatre

Includes a DIY enthusiast whose ear was almost severed falling off a ladder; a toddler attacked by a deckchair; and an extraordinary hair-raising accident and how surgeons saved the victim's scalp.

Includes an agricultural lecturer who has been poked in the eye by a knife covered in cow dung; a vet mauled by a cat in a clear case of self-defence; and a man who survived being impaled on a fencepost.

Including how a night's drinking led to fears of a fractured skull, and the coffee break that broke a nose. Plus, the freak farmyard accident that left a farmer with her jaw hanging off - and the amazing surgery that put her back together.