Twits and Crits

Last time, on Twits & Crits, our noble band of adventurers made their way to the western holdfast to rendezvous with Captain Aegis Sniller and collect the reward bounty placed upon the hideous heads of the fugitive Moondog Brothers. Sniller offered the group additional payment to stay and fight the approaching orc army. Two hundred and fifty gold pieces proved a convincing sum, and the group agreed to extend the contract, as willing mercenaries. All relished in their newfound wealth, except for Miri, who received a considerably lesser sum of one hundred and fifty gold pieces, much to his chagrin. For the young halfling Grimo, the companionship of brave war horse Chauncey was payment enough. As the army advanced and the sun set upon our heroes, the very cool Decker procured his metallic wizardry tablet and soothed the tired warriors with a “sweet midi tune.” Now the army approaches and our heroes prepare for one of the most dangerous encounters of their lives...

In which the newly formed orc alliance finds itself on shaky ground, pretty much everybody gets drunk, Dirik fights for control of his army, and Miri gets oddly racist.

In which Racsan makes a new friend, Chauncy reveals many secrets, a new darkness arises, and Decker struggles with his bluest of balls.

In which Horse Lords are summoned, an inconsequential kingdom falls, a bevy of horrible puns are spoken, and old enemies return seeking help.

In which a Parliament of useless animals meets, the kindness of a woman tears a friendship asunder, a strange new ritual is planned, and Decker finally consummates his self-love.

In which a... uh... traditional Gire sock-hop is had, Miri's member is put on display, Grimo has the worst day ever, and an unwanted baby is thrown in a dumpster.

In which a strange new monster appears, a fallen comrade is honored, a special musical guest steals our hearts, and the party finally, FINALLY, sets sail!

In which a most nefarious plot against one of our heroes is hatched, a life-threatening experience shakes Miri to his core, yet another animal sovereign is largely ignored, and Decker finds a strange new dimension of unearthly pleasures.

In which a festival of fleshy delights is discovered, Shattercock introduces us to a strange music called "SKA", a tale of a galaxy far far away is recounted, and our heroes find themselves on uneasy ground.