A regular car review for a 2002 Toyota Echo. A calm and rational review of all the specifications of this car. 40mpg easy. 1.5L 4cyl. approx 108 bhp. Plenty of room in the trunk for three kegs of Holy Water. When they sleep. When they sleep. When they sleep. They don't sleep. It has room for 5 adults, but the back seat is rather cramped. Performance is better with the 5-speed than with the 4-speed automatic.

The South African Citi Golf is. Why is VW still making this car? Why is an American reviewing it? Why can't I think about the book? It continues is-ing. What is? Swazy-Land. Fun to be a passenger.

The 2nd Generation Caravan (minivan) is a paragon of Family Values. Its multi-fuction design and car-like ride makes it a superb people-mover, cargo-hauler, town runabout, and commuter. In this video, we will talk about the Caravan's history and features.

In order to understand the importance of the Subaru Outback on the North American Market, we need to come to grips with Australian Stereotypes. While they are nasty, the same stereotypes kept an entire car division from going under. My wife is never coming back.

A dry facts-only review of the 2007 Honda Accord. This is a good car for businessmen who need to be "on the road" a lot, if you know what I mean.

A "Family-First" Sport Utility vehicle that understands Catholic Values. Put your shoulder to your wagon and change your oil. I take a chainsaw to Church. I take an Ax to Mass. Count your blessings. Count your Amyl Poppers

If this car were a book, it would be a grammar textbook. If it were a CD, it would be "NOW That's What I Call Music, Vol 11." If it were a song, it would be the music they play at the Oscars when someone talks too long during their acceptance speech.

This is not a car. The gs500 gets better mileage than any gasoline-electric car could dream of. I have to poop again.

Epileptic Seizure WARNING! Two jokes in this video have fast moving images and flashing lights. These images have the potential to photosensitive epilepsy. Watch at your own risk.

If a Tacoma is such a good truck, why don't contractors use them more? Granted, construction companies may want to drive domestic vehicles to display a patriotic image, but there are sounder reasons. For instance. That tin of Digestives is looking at me. It watched me poop. IT IS THE POOP. It is watching ITSELF! It is watching the circle of life. It is watching the circle of WIFE. My WIFEAU! No! no! I love America! It's a British cookie. What is a biscuit? I have ENGLAND in me. Get it out. I pout. I drink stout?! No. No Coores Light!

Photos of NYC Taxies are copyright and credited to Noah Noahforman (@nyctaxiphoto). Volvos do last a long time, but Town Cars last longer and take twice the abuse. Speaking of abuse...You're listening to "The Beer Belly" on 98.3FM! The non-stop rockin' rock plop cock-block station for all of The Commonwealth! We're broadcasting from The Automile! Come on down and enter to win a Lincoln Town Car! Feeling lucky pucky? Well go for the Double Brown

In 2004 Volvo comes out with something no one was expecting; a 300hp, turbocharged 5-cyl rage monster. Finally suburban kids had a way to get back at their Bush-Loving Fox-Body Driving Dads. Finally my love-pucker can take more than a Maglite. Make all the comparisons to the BMW 3-Series you want. The S60R isn't really a BMW. It is loaded with electric motors that weigh it down. The good news is that no one expects a Volvo to be fast. No one expects you to butt-chug aftershave either.

We're going to visit Daddy today! His apartment building is nice. There are little sculpted bushes outside. I put my Hot Wheels on a fun ride though a little box before I go though the second door of his apartment building. Then we go to his living room. All his friends dress the same. They are so funny. Dad says he is coming home soon. He talks about his four friends who will give him a ride home. They are all named Goldberg! Sometimes one of the Goldbergs is there. He wears a tie and carries a business case. Then, Daddy has to go to gym class. He said it is for grown-ups. Mom tells us it is time go and we get back into our Jeep and bounce home. She says Daddy will be able to play again soon. Mom says when Dad is done with grown-up-sleep-away school, we're all going to Dorny Park and Wildwater Kingdom! YAY

Dodge Avenger: A blue collar cry for help. It's the car that neither of you gets in the divorce. Never have I driven a car that so accurately recreates the feeling of getting fired. I can only eat Turkey Hill ice cream if trim my pubes first. Chop off my dick and give me YOUR DICK!

Why did the Fiat 500 fail to unseat the Mini? Does THE JOKE have something to do with it? True story: the owner of this 500 Abarth was in traffic somewhere near the Walt Whitman. A bum was going from car to car, asking for change. He gets to this Abarth and asks @barkerdk, "what kind of car is this?" @barkerdk tells the bum. The bum instantly responds with THE JOKE.

The Mazda Miata is like a Harley Davidson Sportster 1200; it defines an entire phylum of vehicles. Do you want a fun sports car? Here's your Mazda MX-5 Miata. There are folks who dive Miata's as their only mode of transportation, and they work. How they brave East Coast slosh winters, I don't know. I do know that the Miata is the dirty cheat-code of cars. No one can bust you for driving a Miata because the little bugger is perfect. UGH. You're just a #1 winner all the time. It just bugs me that the Miata has no lovable faults. Yes it's small...ok...yea it's a little slow for a sports car. It's just, it take no grand risks. It's a ham sandwich with lettuce, cheese, and tomatoes.

The Mercury Sable is good for driving to grandma's house were you can go in basement and open the closet that she doesn't want you to open. She says to stay out of the shadows. Grandma says that if you walk in shadows, you will become a "shadow man." The state took her license away last year so you can drive her car. You had to eat Taco Bell for three days straight to fart her smell out of the upholstery.

If you commit to a Honda S2000, you will be hassled by the police the second you stray one mile-an-hour over the speed limit. Here's why: The S2000's X-Box controller layout repels docile family men in the 60's with gray hair. Girls don't like the car either. Angular shapes remind them of their selfish ex-boyfriends. Men in the 30's to 50's can't buy it because it is too expensive of a toy to justify to their nuclear unit. This leaves only one group: spoiled rich-kids. The S2000 is a Boathouse Row graduation present. It is driven largely by the type of kid who L.E.O.s looooove to pull-over: Me-Monkeys.

Take me back to 1999's cherry topping. The year 2000 was perfect. The music was payola-fueled and I had a 56k PCI modem. The Saturn L-Series was the last bare-palmed handy before it was time to go to work forever. Take me back to the 90's. I want to wait thirty minutes to burn a CD. I want to wait for mom and dad to go to sleep so I can go online without tying up the phone. My Game Gear doesn't work anymore.

The Cayman is the Mason Dixon line between rich and poor. This doesn't mean that a Cayman owner is rich. It doesn't mean that a Boxster owner is poor. It just means there's a line, for good or ill. We're silly creatures, us humans. Our bilateral symmetry makes us prejudiced toward invisible lines. We draw them in damn near everything. Ideas that run along the gap between our caveman definitions between black and white are mocked and vilified. Porsche's Cayman is not the foreman's weekend Boxter, nor is it the parcel owner's 911. The Cayman lies in that horrible DMZ, taking hate from both sides. Even I can't help myself. I must place the Cayman somewhere, but where? From my perspective, from my bank account, The Cayman is a Rich-Man's Car.

Chrysler created the best pickup truck of the 90's by building a Tonka Truck instead of a complainant work vehicle. This 4 or 6 wheeled masculine-dicto-simpliciter also changed the line-up of every manufacturer forever. The new Dodge Ram de-throned the luxury four-door sedan as the King of the Car Lot. In the 1990's, trucks became premium vehicles. The Dodge Ram also cemented the idea that a truck must look like a synthol-pumped, penis-panicking, club-brawler. I got the tow/cargo ratings all wrong in the Dodge Ram video. Sorry about that. As a peace offering, please accept this novelty Johnny-Cash-style song written and performed by a friend of mine. Three people are murdered in the song. The song is called: "Wodega."