Lister tries in vain to teach Kryten how to lie, insult, cheat and disobey orders. Lister gives up when Rimmer calls Kryten on a trip "moon-hopping". On the trip they receive a distress call and Kryten goes to investigate against Rimmer's orders. Kryten rescues a "female" droid called Camille who he falls in love with, even though droids aren't supposed to have feelings like that. Kryten takes Camille back to Starbug, but when Rimmer sees her, she's a hologram who is interested in him. They bring her back to Red Dwarf and then Lister sees a human female with tastes similar to him. Lister notices how everyone reacts to Camille and she confesses to Lister that she is a Pleasure GELF (Genetically Engineered Life Form) programmed to be everyone's perfect companion. The Cat goes to see, and it is not surprising that he sees himself! The GELF turns into her true form at Kryten's request which is a huge green blob. Despite her appalling appearance, Kryten still decides to ask her to dinner, then the movies (Casablanca). A pod arrives containing Hector (Camille's "Husband") who wants to find a cure for their condition. Kryten convinces her to go.

The crew stumble upon a deserted space ship of non-human origin and Rimmer believes it is an alien ship. They go inside to search the ship and Kryten and Rimmer discover the remains of a three-headed creature. They find a wallet on him with human artifacts such as credit cards, license etc. and Kryten suggests that something has changed his physical form. Meanwhile, Cat and Lister find a machine with a Star Trek style computer panel. Cat begins playing with it and accidentally traps Lister in a pink beam. A deep voice announces that a transmogrification is about to take place. When Cat tries to get him free, Lister turns into a chicken. Rimmer and Kryten come along and while Cat is showing what he did to Lister, he traps Kryten in the beam. He manages to change Lister back to a human, but when he does the same for Kryten, it actually transforms him into a human, rather than just setting him free. Back on Red Dwarf, Kryten is delighted with his new-found humanity. However he soon starts to tire of it after talking to his spare heads and realising that he has betrayed his kind, and wants to be changed back. They go back aboard the ship and Holly says she thinks she has the computer all figured out. Rimmer decides it best if she tries it on something else first. She tries Lister's curry and turns it into a monster by mistake. After being chased all over the ship, Lister decides the only way to defeat it is to turn him into a superhuman. Holly turns him into something like Robocop, but tiny. (about 1 1/2' tall) Lister eventually defeats the Curry Monster with a can of lager (the only thing that can kill a vindaloo).

Lister is in bed with "space mumps" when he hears the news that the gang has brought aboard a cryo-pod from a prison ship which possibly contains a guard named Barbara Bellini. Lister inspects the pod and begins the thawing process, which Rimmer objects to, saying that there were two survivors aboard the ship: Ms Bellini and a Simulant prisoner (Simulants are droids who are noted to be murderous and insane). Since it is too late -- they cannot stop the thawing process -- they decide to travel to the prison colony that the ship was heading for. They arrive on the space station and walk through a white light which Kryten says is a mind probe to seek out any unpunished criminal activity. Lister gets very edgy and confesses that he had committed some minor crimes as a teenager. The justice computer passes his verdict on them: Kryten and Cat get off, Lister does so, but barely. Rimmer, however, is sentenced to 9000 years in prison for the second degree murder of the Red Dwarf's complement of 1167 personnel -- not counting himself or Lister. Kryten believes that he can defend Rimmer and reverse the verdict and he fronts up to the justice computer, describing to it all about Rimmer's extreme inadequacy and sheer hopelessness. The computer eventually concedes that Rimmer should not have been held accountable for the deaths and releases him due to incompetence. Meanwhile the pod has thawed and the occupant has escaped. It is, of course, the simulant who was inside and he chases them through the colony. Lister finally beats him by using the power of the justice field - whatever crime you commit against someone else, the consequences happen to you. When the simulant fires at Lister, the bullets hit him instead of Lister, when he throws a knife, it comes back and hits him and so forth. The gang head back to Red Dwarf with Lister droning on and on about justice and freedom until he falls down a manhole. "Thank God for that" remarks Cat.

An attempt to restore Holly's mind via "intelligence compression" backfires, giving her an IQ of 12,000 but just three minutes to live. With the aid of the infuriating Talkie Toaster, whose questions about life, the universe and everything invariably gravitate towards bread, the crew devises a solution, unaware that a nearby "white hole" is disrupting the passage of time. Alarmingly, it falls to Lister's contested pool-playing skills to put everything back in order.

An alternate reality version of Rimmer literally crashes into his alter-ego while testing a dimension-jumping spacecraft. With Starbug downed after the collision, the daring, dashing Ace Rimmer attempts a one-man rescue, unaware that his doppelganger is, in this reality, an intolerable coward. Neither a broken arm nor hostile, jealous hologram can keep him from his duty, but when the company is this hopeless, even a hero finds it hard to keep his chin up.

Krtyen's discovery of a matter transporter device sends the crew to a distant planet, Wax World, populated entirely by theme park recreations of historic Earth figures. With Lister and the Cat imprisoned by, among other villains, the Roman emperor Caligula, Rimmer and Kryten recruit an army of heroes for a rescue operation. Unfortunately, the allied forces of Elvis, Gandhi, Stan Laurel, Pythagoras, and Noel Coward are about as effective as Rimmer's first military command.