Keep It in the Family

Dudley is in bed with a broken bone in the ankle following an abortive attempt at disco dancing on roller-skates. It could have been his neck, if he hadn't landed on the fat Miss Bunting. Meanwhile, Susan is job hunting, and her father finds one for her in the local newspaper for a dentist's girl Friday. He writes the telephone number down on a piece of paper, but Susan inadvertently rings Duncan's number which is written on the other side, causing his secretary, Marlene, to resign. Dudley takes a stab at 'spot the ball', and receives a bank statement which shows £75,000 in his and Muriel's joint account.

The Rushes' receive threatening letters from the Electricity Board and Gas Board, and Muriel suggests using foam granules to insulate the attic. Susan considers having herself tattooed, and Duncan informs Dudley that Barney the Bionic Bulldog is to be replaced by a new character created by the managing editor's wife; Gertie Guitar, a little girl who wants to become a rock star. Then Jacqui has her handbag containing two tickets for the Globe Theatre stolen in the ladies' toilets at Harrods, and her father decides to play detective to catch the culprits.

Dudley invents a new board game, Heart Attack, which he thinks will be a hit with vegetarians. He himself claims to have seen the light, having been convinced by Mr. Adams, the greengrocer. Whilst Muriel tucks into a cholesterol-rich steak followed by treacle pudding with double cream, her husband struggles with organically grown alfalfa sprouts, goats cheese on stone-ground whole bran biscuits and prunes with a sunflower seed as a treat. Meanwhile, Susan is having problems ejecting a troublesome boyfriend, Blackie [so called because he has a black belt in karate], from the ground floor flat. She enlists the help of her father, but Dudley gets rid of Jacqui's Negro boyfriend, James, instead. It then transpires that Blackie could be Dudley's natural son by an old flame, Betty Corkindale.

A mishap in the car wash results in Dudley getting soaking wet and waxed to a showroom finish. Susan goes dancing with her boyfriend, Dave, returns home tipsy on double vodka's and has to be helped into bed, although she is still under eighteen. Her father loses his temper and she considers joining the army, until she learns they only have one colour in their uniforms; and that they have separate barracks for the men. Seeking advice on dealing with Susan's drinking, Dudley bribes Duncan with an offer of lunch at the Cafe Royal; it turns out to be the Royal Cafe, which caters for lorry drivers. Duncan suggests giving Susan a whole bottle of vodka to drink, the theory being it will make her sick as a dog and put her off alcohol for life. Dudley joins his daughter and matches her drink for drink with Scotch whiskey, unaware that Muriel has substituted the vodka for tap water.

Dudley decides to give up smoking, and begins to suffer withdrawl symptoms after two minutes. The girls' pregnant friend Ann and her door-to-door salesman husband Freddy pay a call; the latter has taken Susan on as an apprentice, and they are set to descend on the Hampstead Garden suburbs with their product - The Little Wonder Household Implement. The lease on Ann and Freddy's flat is up and they can't move into their new house until Monday, so Ann prepares to waddle down to a hotel to book a room for the weekend. Jacqui suggests they stay at the flat instead, she and Susan sharing one bed whilst their friends sleep in the other. Dudley jumps to the wrong conclusion and assumes a boyfriend of Susan's has stayed the night.

Dudley's efforts to silence an over-sensitive burglar alarm at two o'clock in the morning lead to his being taken to Highgate police station on suspicion of attempted breaking and entering. Muriel suggests driving out to a country pub for Sunday lunch, but the car hasn't got a road fund license; just a Worthington E label stuck to the windscreen. Jacqui puts forward the idea of a barbecue on the patio, which her mother warms to despite Dudley's warnings of unpredictable weather. He prepares his special barbecue sauce, which makes steaks sit up and beg: garlic, cayenne pepper, garlic, French mustard and more garlic! As soon as Dudley attempts to light the barbecue, the rain buckets down; it's of little consequence however, since it transpires there isn't any meat in the house. Dudley telephones an order through to the Wang Ho Chinese restaurant for takeaway, but more misfortune awaits him when he drives over to collect it.

Dudley's latest mania, for jogging, takes him as far as the front door. Meanwhile, Jacqui's boyfriend Leslie is coming to dinner at the flat around 7 p.m., and she doesn't want Susan running on the spot and jiggling her boobs at him. Her sister promises to be out before he arrives, having been invited to an all-night party. So their father won't interfere, Susan makes a recording on her cassette tape-recorder to give the impression that she is acting as a chaperon for Jacqui. Duncan invites himself round for tea and cake, and Dudley tries to trick him with a rubber chocolate eclair. He then suggests Leslie isn't quite as masculine as he should be, and Jacqui vows to find out for herself and let her father know in the morning.