Spitting Image

When a Cherubic urchin gets an unfortunate visitation from the Tooth Fairy, the BBC News gets a revamp with Marcel Marceau reporting live from Northern Ireland. A bunch of professional cockneys show off their new long-playing record and Jeffrey Archer appears on Mastermind - his special subject; Jeffrey Archer.

Points of View is taken to task for a continuity error made during the transmission of some hard-core porn, Neil Kinnock takes on a true Mission Impossible - turning the Labour Party into an electable force by 1992 - and Bros are shocked to find that they've just gone out of fashion.

Mrs. Thatcher confesses her true feeling to Ronald Reagan, whilst yet another ITV Telethon tries it's best but fails miserably. Alan Bennett attempts to get Richard Attenborough interested in his new play about an old lady from Huddersfield who can't open a packet of biscuits. Dickie's not sold on the idea.

In an attempt to capture the Green Vote the entire cabinet has grown beards, including Mrs. Thatcher. Sycophancy runs riot during the Royal Variety Show which, this year, celebrates 'Prince Edward - One Year in Showbusiness'. Donald Sinden personally introduces its highlight - Ben Elton taking a brisk trot through history as The Fool.

Jimmy Greaves' concerns about hooliganism at Wimbledon are laid to rest, while Esther Rantzen has a bit of a shock when she meets a dog that refuses to say 'sausages'. While the truth about Kennedy's assasination still refuses to come out, Pavarotti gives a star turn at 'the Last Night Of The Yobs'.

The Conservative government try to reassure the people that the vast majority of statements made by Edwina Currie are harmless. Robery Kilroy investigates the future of broadcasting and John Mortimer fights the case for quality television. Neil Kinnock, leader of The Labour Party, gives a radio performance of 'Under Milk Snatcher', a play for voices very definately not written by Welsh poet Dylan Thomas.