Motorway Patrol

A metal missile is launched on the Harbour Bridge, the motorway is heaving with concert-goers while one heaves his lunch; and there’s a fender bender feud.

A cascade of tears from a commuter caught on her cellphone; a bovine goes berserk; and a relationship hits the skids on the roadside.

Mind the gap! An inexperienced driver makes a disastrous lane change; a laptop left on the rooftop causes grief for a sole trader; and there’s sparks when a car thief hits the spikes and doesn’t stop.

A nose-to-tail with a nose and tail in the boot; and a driver pretends to be his brother to save himself.

So many bicycles loaded onto one small car; a sulky speeder who’s forgotten how to breathe; and safely moving an anxious horse in a broken down float.

A driver having sweet P dreams on the offramp creates a roadblock; another escapes the flames of a vehicle flare-up; and an amphibious boat blows a tyre in rush-hour.

A motorway cyclist says he’s riding 170 kilometres on his BMX with no gears; a swerving sportsman has downed some brews after training; and an intriguing modified bike that carries a wheelchair.

A diabetic emergency causes a crash; a drugged man takes a snooze by the motorway; and a drunk woman decides to pee in full view.

A breakdown blocks the fast lane and a second car crashes into it; motorists mouth off; and a witness mysteriously emerges from the roadside shrubbery.

Officers are used to canines, felines, and bovines, but now there’s a panda on the motorway; a man makes a mad dash to retrieve a mattress; and a mound of melons strains the suspension.