Barnacle Bill's Semi-Factual Nautical Tales

While Moses is away on business, the chosen people make a statue of God. Actual God is outraged. Artists impressions are dangerous because humans attach to them like they're real. Doug has a cry about Pluto, Craig goes on a rampage.

The gods release evil into the world by putting it in a box and then telling somebody not to open it. It's unclear why they don't just release it into the world by themselves, if they love evil so much. Doug contemplates the nature of truth and comes up with a wishy-washy answer.

The human mind attaches voraciously to metaphors and metaphors attach very well to animals. I love the old-school style of political cartooning where you use an animal -say a bear- as a metaphor for fiscal debt, but then you write 'fiscal debt' on the side of the bear, because honestly- without that, the bear could be a metaphor for pretty much anything.

Doug has a wedding day but it doesn't really work out like he imagined it would. Very little works out how you imagine, because imagination is a pretty bad way to forecast anything. The origins of the wedding march are contemplated, so is the nature of romance. A jenga tower is built but to be honest it might be held together with glue.

Doug feels bad when a wildebeest is murdered. It's too late to save the wildebeest, but it's never too late to stop feeling bad. 1958 horror movie 'the fly' tricks Doug into some wrong conclusions and then causes doubt. Doubt is held up as a good thing for people to feel and then completely discarded.