Dave Thomas starts the series with a commercial parody for The Laser-Matic camera. (He is holdng a ridiculously-looking prop.) Moe Green does a politicized ""Essentials of Bookkeeping"" lesson in Sunrise Seester. Promotions follow for Unnecessary Surgeon and Malpractice Lawyer. In the Johnny LaRue Show, Johnny is an overweight exercise guru whose activities include opening and closing the refrigerator. SCTV AM News Today sees Floyd Robertson reading all the big news items, leaving Earl Camembert with unevetful stories. Backstage, Johnny LaRue discovers (A) his exercise show is a flop, and (B) everyone knows about his affair. Gregory Peck moderates a PSA to stop depressing PSAs. The highlight is a Masterpiece Theatre story on Sigmund Freud. In the midst of this piece, Johnny LaRue breaks up the shoot. Sunrise Semester, Johnny LaRue Excercise, PSA: Stop Those Depressing Ads, Masterpiece Theatre, Words to Live By

A lunkheaded security guard (Levy) tries to solve a murder while a new educational program is being taped. Yoga/Captain Combat, PSA:Fat Chance for the Sub Sahara, English for Beginners, Gus Gustofferson:Security Guard, Wara Wara Wara

Harold Ramis warns viewers that this show contains ethnic slurs, and all the jokes are about the gypsies. From ""Gypsy Mythology"" on Sunrise Semester to the Hints for Homemakers (a gypsy recommends holding up an Amish family and stealing their food), this show is indeed a gypsy rogue. Sunrise Semester, The Leutonian Hour, Out-Patient, Hints for Homemakers, Theatre North American, Words to Live By

Sammy Maudlin, Sunrise Semester, The $211,000 Triangle, Cooking with LaRue, Backstage, Masterpiece Theatre, Words to Live By

Sunrise Semester, Witness to Yesterday, PSA:So You're Dead...Now What?, Match Unto My Feet, Words to Live By

Star Trek comes to the steppes of Russia in a very funny parody of Chekhov. Heavenly Bodies, Mr Science, Masterpiece Theatre, The Memoirs of Anton Chekhov

BEAUTY AND THE BEETS Beauty learns to like beets... the hard way. Beauty and the Beets, Firing Squad, Alice, the Wonder Dog, Dialing for Dollars, Changing Partners

Dining with LaRue, The Wacky World of Poverty, Eye on Science, Shock Theatre:Early to Bed

Good-Bye America, Sunrise Semester, Philosophy Street, Total Women, A Fistful of Ugly, Feedback with Moe Green

On SCTV News, Floyd Robertson (Joe Flaherty) and Earl Camembert (Eugene Levy) report earthquakes, deli crises, the arms race, and Earl asks terrorists to surrender; Dr Hammond Greer (Dave Thomas) delivers a speech against scientists; Johnny LaRue (John Candy) cleans out the food at Lin Ye Tang's (Dave Thomas) garden restaurant; Lou Jaffe (Eugene Levy) witnesses Irish group techniques (and a bombing); On the SCTV Movie of the Week, a depressing French film about a live-in couple, Jerry Lewis-impersonating Joe (Joe Flaherty) and his fawning lover, Therese (Andrea Martin). Sunrise Semester, Dining With LaRue, Perspective '77, Therese et Joe

Broads Behind Bars is a classic, with Candy's over the top prison guard Shultzy ("Lock 'em up, keep 'em down, and work 'em over") and Martin's lifer Kitty ("No Dice!"). Trivia: the crew put real liquor in Ramis' bottle for the Mort Finkel sketch. (ref: sctvguide.com) Sunrise Semester, Dining With LaRue, Broads Behind Bars

Farm Report, Welcome Back President Kotter, Alistair Cook's Armenia, The Taxidermist

Moe Green promises Ben-Hur will be shown without commercial interruption, but he sneaks in a plug for deodorant. Other spots that break up the movie include something called ""Top-Secret"" and a crude chewing tobacco spread. But the real surprises come in the slapstick version of Ben-Hur ""by General George S. Patton."" The climax comes when Ben-Hur learns his mother and sister have turned into leopards. After the movie, Moe Green calls a few people to see if they can win more than $20 and a handful of kitchen magnets. Dialing For Dollars: Ben Hur, Parts 1 through 4

SCTV Sports Central: The Hefty Neil Story, PSA: Shoplifting

Exorcising, Leave it to Beaver 25th Anniversary Party, PSA:Rip Masters for Children on Booze, Dr Tongue and his Animal Friends

Winning Chess with Borris Morris, PSA:So You're Dead...Now What?, Good-Bye America, Johnny LaRue

Diving for Dollars, Sunrise Semester, Sci-Fi Theatre: Galaxy 66, Beside the Point, Words to Live By

PSA: Re-criminalize Marijuana, Dante's Inferno, Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Madame Blitzman

Wake Up With Alki Stereopolis, PSA: Do Not Remove Tags, The $129,000 Question, Elvira Mad Again Part II, Words to Live By

Sunrise Semester, It Was That Way With Keith Hampshire, I Cry Each Day I Die, SCTV Boogie

Paul's Workshop With Paul Fistinyourface, The Sammy Maudlin Show, PSA: Shoplifting, Dialing For Dollars: Sandy Moss

Passport to Adventure:Africa, The World of Mystery: Sandwich on the Orient Express, World at War:Baseball, Lowell Thompson Remembers

Muley's Roundhouse, Promo: Library Police, The Three Dummies: Of Mice and Dummies, SCTV AM News Today: Terrorist Picnic, Commercial: Spray-On Socks, SCTV Movie of the Week: The Grapes of Mud Part, Commercial: Mrs Prickley's Jams Jellies and Preserves, Disco Farming

Message from Moe: License Suspended, A.M. Little America with Tom Brokraw, Promo: Dan Money, SCTV AM News Today: Mafia Interview, Commercial: Civil Engineering, Officer Friendly, Promo: The Undersea World of Marcel Cousteau, Promo: Masterpiece Theatre: All the Long-Leggedy Beasties, Dream Interpretation with Dr. Raoul Wilson

Commercial: Tiny Tops, Morning Facial with Princess Carlotta, Promo: Check Please, Promo: The Man Who Would Be King of the Popes, Commercial: Mr. Coffee-Table Book from Venerable Electric, The Uncle Earl Show, Promo: Harry Filth, Insights with Hugh Betcha: Socrates, Commercial: Get Tough self-help book, Commercial: Grumbles Restaurant on Route 41, Enough About Me: Antonio Luciani

Dialing for Dollars: Lust For Paint features a show-length parody of Moulin Rouge, with promos for celebrity tattletales and the Babe Ruth story