Roland Rat: The Series

BBC3 proudly presents Roland Rat Superstar - big budget, expensive sets and two years in the making. They said it could never be done - and they were right. All the great showbiz stars have been begging to appear in this major new series set in the Ratcave. Also Roland's sensational new glamorous all-girl dance-troupe The Sewer Sensation make their debut. Star guests include Tim Brooke-Taylor, Samantha Fox and The Communards.

This week's show includes a Pot-pourri of starring guests supported somewhat limply by the usual bunch of idiots Kevin, Errol, Fergie, Little Reggie et al.

A strange pet arrives for Little Reggie and joins the other bunch of hangers-on in the Ratcave, thus assuring itself of fame and fortune for the rest of its life. But who is this strange pet? Professor Stanley Unwin and Margaret Thatcher are among the lucky guests in the programme that refreshes the parts other shows cannot reach. Music in the Ratcave by Ultravox. Also featuring thef wonderful Darcey de Farcey (JAMES SAXON) and the delectable Maureen McConkey (ANNA KAREN).

The show the critics have acclaimed; loved by the masses, Roland is everyone's idea of a cuddly, adorable superstar. This week in the Ratcave Maureen goes on a blind date, courtesy of the Darcey de Farcey Digital Dating Service. Special rodent guest star is Brian Blessed in a sensitive re-enactment of A Tale of Two Cities, re-written by Roland for the televisual medium. Also featuring the wonderful Darcey de Farcey (JAMES SAXON) and the delectable Maureen McConkey (ANNA KAREN).

BBC3 swings into action once again with the hippest rodent this side of Hendon. This week's show is greatly enhanced with the arrival of cuddly, adorable... warthogs, who manage to make even Little Reggie look hygienic! Also, making a musical debut, is Colin the Flea. Colin denies owing his showbiz break to Roland and insists he worked his own way up from scratch.

Tonight the acting bug strikes Roland's incompetent crew. All of them deserve an award.... not for acting, but for keeping their names on the credits. Special rodent guest star is Ross Davidson in a multi-million pound remake of The Bridge on the River Kwai, Ross's first starring role since he kicked the bucket in EastEnders. Other guests include John Challis and Nik Kershaw , not to mention the irrepressible Darcey de Farcey (JAMES SAXON) and the gorgeous Maureen McConkey (ANNA KAREN).

Och aye, hooray for Fergie's show, It's on tonicht, didn't ye know. With Lulu and aforesaid Ferret, Who are very Scottish, to their credit. So all ye sassenachs with bagpipes sing,Three cheers for Fergie's highland fling R. BURNS Featuring Darcey McFarcey (JAMES SAXON), Maureen och aye the noo McConkey (ANNA KAREN), and of course star of tonight's highland fling, Fergie the Ferret.

Proudly presented by BBC3. Tonight's theme - Horror! This big-budget episode begins with a spine-chilling and blood-curdling sight.... and after Maureen, it continues to horrify until the final, climactic scenes. Little Reggie gets so scared. Iris can't change his nappies fast enough, but Roland insists that he's a supernatural superstar and not frightened of anything. Music in the ratcave tonight performed by the Stranglers. Plus special guests Richard O'Brien and Gary Wilmot. Not forgetting the ubiquitous Darcey de Farcey (JAMES SAXON) and the tantalising nymphette Maureen McConkey (ANNA KAREN)

Thousands of letters flood into the Ratcave but one arrives which changes Roland's plans. As well as surprise guests and chart-topping sounds, Roland's dance troupe - The Sewer Sensation - feature in a musical extravaganza. Also starring Darcey de Farcey (JAMES SAXON) and Maureen McConkey (ANNA KAREN).

Fed up with down-town King's Cross, Roland decides it's high time to screw more money out of the BBC, so he can film in exotic locations. Darcey finds an island in the Caribbean to shoot their latest multi-million dollar rodent James Bond extravaganza starring Leslie Ash as the beautiful Russian spy, and yes, you've guessed it, Roland Rat Superstar as 007. Plus Darcey de Farcey (James Saxon) and Maureen McConkey (Anna Karen) in the most expensive show this side of the Northern Line.

Do you need to wear a toupee to succeed in show business? Do rats believe in dentistry? The answers to these questions and many more will be revealed in the Ratcave tonight when Roland meets Dr Hans Q. Krakenspiner from Brussels. Special guest star is Frank Carson. Also starring Darcey de Farcey JAMES SAXON and Maureen Conkey ANNA KAREN

Darcey's long-lost brother Luigi Marcello de Farcey pays a visit to the Ratcave, and causes more than a little trouble to the beloved team of rodents. Music in the Ratcave is performed by the brilliant Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Plus special guest star, the wonderful Alexei Sayle. Plus the dashing Darcey de Farcey (JAMES SAXON) and the little cutie Maureen McConkey (ANNA KAREN).

Deep below King's Cross, wedding bells are ringing. Is Roland about to marry the girl of his dreams in this, the last Rodent spectacular in the current series? Music in the Ratcave is performed by Go West as well as Glenis the Guinea-pig. Special guest stars include Karen Kaye Garry Glitter and Samantha Fox. Plus Darcey de Farcey (JAMES SAXON) and Maureen McConkey (ANNA KAREN).

Yes ratfans, it's time to put on your party hat and boogie on down to the Ratcave where Kevin the gerbil, Errol the hamster, Fergie the ferret and all the gang celebrate in style. 4 Will Roland succeed in rewriting the original Dickens' classic A Christmas Carol? Special guests include Brian Blessed, Chris Tarrant, Mike Read, Aled Jones and a host of others, not forgetting Darcey (James Saxon) and Maureen McConkey (Anna Karen).