This week: A man gets so drunk he forgets he broke into a bank, but luckily he streamed it live! Also we learn that police have a device called "the grappler," (they're not very good with it) and finally sure school plays can be bad, but bad enough to make a bomb threat?

This week: A rear end sends a cop into someone else's rear end, an 81 year old substitute teacher presented some very off the books anatomy lessons and just how good a friend are you? Probably not good enough to do this in a Family Dollar ...

This week: My "Definitely Not A Bag Full of Drugs" bag has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my bag. Also just because you buy your own fire engine doesn't make you a firefighter and a band of thieves take from the rich and give to the poor ... except they're monkeys.

This week: If you're going to break in and steal something, the toilet should not be your first pick. Also a principal who wants to be a princiPAL by hosting giant drinking house parties for juvenilles and folks, the last story this week is an actual no kidding miracle of confluences ...

This week: Wow, you can really 3D print anything these days, including Bolivian marching powder! Also this week, sometimes in life a toilet can explode and also you can find a quarter ton bear under your house. Mondays, am I right?

This week: A hundred thousand eggs go missing in Pennsylvania but no sign yet of a giant omelette, a man swears he didn't set a cabin on fire (scout's honor!) and nothing quite ruins a cop's day like a Florida man in a dalmatian onesie ...

This week: "Gotta catch 'em all" gets a new meaning as organized crime expands into Pokemon, carjacking your own customers is never going to work out well and waking up drunk and pantsless in a wrecked car outside a 7-Eleven is no way to go through life, son ...

This week: a new innovation in smuggling contraband into a prison: the t-shirt cannon! Also more kids keep trying to steal New York subway trains and challenging a cop to a fight in a 7-Eleven will likely put you in jail for 365 ...

This week: If you name your gym "Smash Fitness," don't be surprised when that's exactly what happens. Also this week, if you're going to get even with your ex maybe check you have the correct address and a man makes off with an $8 million dollar fishing boat using only a little self-confidence ...

This week: A "toupee fiasco" of an entirely different nature, in an Uno reverse Pokemon have devised a method to get humans to fight for them, and if you're going to be giant racist to the waitstaff you probably shouldn't sign your name to it ...

This week: Is it really 65 feet, or is it ... y'know ... "65 feet?" Also a novel way to rob a convenience store: waving snakes around! And when the karaoke machine shuts down at 2:30AM, it's time for going home, not target practice ...

This week: A dump truck driver leaves his dump behind, a golden toilet leads to heft consequences, and when you try to scale Chichén Itzá you should be prepared for some very angry locals ...

This week: Ever forgotten your passport before a flight? Well, it's worse if you're the pilot. Also a 2000 year old Greek statue is found in a trash bag because art critics are the worse, and sometimes you just want to drive into the sea ... but maybe don't use your dad's car.

This week: A Cybertruck thief fails to steal a Cybertruck, but instead of taking the win that entails he goes back for the stuff he left inside! Also this week, never forget the same plumber who can fix your pipes also knows how to break them and when life gives you lemons, try to start a fight at a child's lemonade stand ...

This week: Not only do crocs look hideous, they'll ruin your car insurance! Also this week, Triple A can fix a lot of stuff but not a police standoff and since when is it illegal to sell human bones on Facebook? I thought this was America!

This week: The co-founder of Business Insider creates his own "AI" workforce, then hits on them! Also a Boeing 787 does battle with a lawn and loses, and we watch two alligators who really want to come inside for a visit ...

This week: An Easter Egg hunt that leads to an arrest warrant, a man offers the police chasing him a little light refreshment and I've heard of climbing to higher altitude for better reception but this is ridiculous ...

This week: A man decides to put the holiness of holy water to the test in a novel way, a Russian national makes off with a 68 foot luxury yacht and a dream, and the St. Louis police department appears to be easier to raid than a six year old's lunchbox ...

This week: The newest trend the kids all love? Setting Chromebooks on fire! Also a man decides the best way to pay off his debt is by stealing an antique cannon and a story that will ensure you'll never touch a public handrail ever again ...

This week: Thieves rob a truck of Apple products in a heist to rival Vin Diesel, a man crashes his Tesla and blames it on his imaginary girlfriend (she lives in Canada) and if you're gonna rob a restaurant, maybe take the cash and not the meat ...

This week: Everybody's waiting for their ship to come in, but for one man in Norway that turned literal. Also this week, a Florida man is rescued from the water by a karaoke cruise and decided to join in, and if someone dared you to jump off a bridge, would you well yup there he goes ...

This week: A flight attendant turns a business class bathroom into a one man disco, the unluckiest veteran's hall in America and a date that turns into a carwreck ... or five ...

This week: Nothing says "Kentucky Wedding" like a purple rented Lambo and gunfire! Also a man discovers Chris Rock was right about the champagne room and if you drop your phone off of "Deadman's Point" let it go, because man, it's gone ...

This week: Leaving the scene of a crash is bad; leaving the scene of a crash with a cop trapped in your car is worse. Also we discuss the existence of highway hookup cryptids and at a casino you can break the bank but you better not explode the toilet ...

This week: If your dog is stuck in a bathroom, getting yourself stuck in a chimney isn't improving the situation. Also this week, cops get cranky if you try the "just a prank bro" defense and if you can dial 911 16,000 in five years, you badly need a hobby ...

This week: A pre-schooler's lunchbox was packed with something a little extra: firepower! Also this week, a woman tries smuggling with the only special compartment she has available and teaching your kids to drive is good, but teaching them to drive at 10, in the rain, at night? Not so good.

This week: How much could illegally bypassing airport security cost, Michael? Fifty dollars? Also cosplay is great but cosplaying EMS at a crime scene is less so, and brother if you've been convicted 125 times maybe you should try a job that isn't crime ...

This week: Kicking in doors becomes the latest questionable TikTok trend, a British Navy sailor find the fast way to get discharged and "messed up stealing trains in Key West" is either a cry for help or a Jimmy Buffet song ...

This week: Bad idea? Having an affair. Worse idea? Having it at a Coldplay concert on the kiss cam. Also a man impersonates a firefighter complete with his own fire truck (no this isn't a rerun it happened AGAIN) and sometimes people will climb up on your roof and refuse to come down. Then the fire department gives them an axe ...

This week: A woman finds a new yet obvious way to smuggle turtles, a couple attempts to join the Mile High Club but makes it a spectator event, and sometimes in life you just find fifty pounds of dynamite abandoned on your land, what can you do?

This week: I live in a land of radioactive wasps, which probably surprises no one. Also a rocket launch is sabotaged as a cockatoo points out the folly of man and who needs firearms when you have a paper bag?

This week: Grind culture meets the United States Post Office and neither is very happy! Also this week, we discover that even EasyJet has standards for their pilots and did you know backhoes can do cartwheels? You do now!

This week: the hot new white collar crime is embezzling funds for Pokemon cards! Also this week, if the $160k in cash a guy brought into your jewelry store says "prop money" you might wanna be a little suspicious, and the end point of living with smart phones: shooting them!

This week: A man tries to escape police with an astonishing amount of meat in his pants ... no, actual meat, you filthy animals. Plus a man spending an entire year torturing kids at a bus stop is now in the running for worst human being and curbing your dog is great, but curbing someone else's dog with a firearm? Not so much.

This week: A Korn fan refuses to put his freak on a leash and gets busted for lewd activity, a car salesman goes viral for being terrible to customers and if you keep throwing beer bottles from a forty story balcony eventually someone's going to notice ...

This week: I Think You Should Leave becomes prophecy, Parasite becomes a lifestyle choice and an excavator becomes an ATM card ...

This week: A new quick and easy way to avoid gambling debts: jump into the ocean! Also a scuba diving bandit makes off with Disney's cash and if you hear scratching in the walls, it could be mice, squirrels or even your downstairs neighbor tunneling into your apartment!

This week: What's the best way to celebrate a football win? A flamethrower, of course! Also a blind woman and her service dog meet the stupidest restaurant owner alive and sometimes even the teachers throw stink bombs in school ... until they're fired ...

This week: A bus drivers gets busted trying to roast his passengers alive, a burglary suspect is on the wrong streetcorner at the same time as the local news doing a story about him, and there's such a thing as being TOO honest with the cops ...

This week: A novel way to avoid customs: eating your passport! Also this week, if you've committed mass vandalism ChatGPT isn't going to be a good adviser and if you're going to steal from someone, choose anyone other than the US Army ...

This week: When you gotta go, you gotta go ... on the altar at St. Peter's Basilica?! Also a pair of teenage hackers learn very quickly that ransoming preschool photos makes you unpopular and the ultimate test of whether a thermos can keep the cold stuff cold and the hot stuff hot ...