VH1 ILL-ustrated

Skits include: -He-Man gets a makeover by some ""queer"" guys. -Preview for ""The Passion of the Christ 2: Beyond Thunderdome"" -The Good Time Party Squad visits Andy Dick. -George W. Bush's Punk'd has a special delivery for Dick Cheney! -""Get Shot with Fifty Cent"" contest. -""E!s Whack off the French Riviera"" -C-Span Senate 2006: Is a tart the same as a muffin? -""Camp X-ray"" -Christopher Walken calls 911 during a heart attack. -""Beaver is Naughty"" -""VH1's I Love 5 Seconds Ago""

Skits include: -The Good Time Party Squad go to Robert Downey Jr.'s birthday party and try to get The Olsen Twins to do drugs. -Bush visits a fortune teller, Madame Chenella, to better lead our country. -Sly Stallone and Arnold have a sleep over. -Pete Rose opens up his own hair salon. -""Land of the Politically Lost"" -Donald Trump opens up his own hair salon and takes over Pete Rose's hair salon. -Jackie Chan screen tests new partners for Rush Hour 3. -Clay Aiken comes out...with his new album ""I'm a Vigin (but I'm not gay)"" -C-Span Senate 2006: is Carrot Top funny? -Late Night with Steven Hawking. Special guest: Keira Knightley.

Skits include: -The Time Pervs visit Joan of Arc. -George Bush and daughter Jenna have a ""Freaky Friday"" -Trailor for ""Saved by the Bell: The Movie"" directed by Ridley Scott. -""Michael Jackson's Cancer Kids"" -Election 2004 Presidential Debate with special host Snoop Dogg. -Justice is blonde when Anna Nicole Smith becomes a judge. -""Gollum and Smeagle"" interview Michael Moore. A take off of Fox News' ""Hannity and Colmes"" -Sly Stallone sets to direct a movie about Biggie and Tupac. Featuring Mr. T as Sug Night. -The Joe Lieberman Snooze-o-matic from Demco!

Skits include: -The Time Pervs visit Helen of Troy. -Celebrity Cock Fighting. -Courtney Love Rocks. -Bush's Friendsters. -Steve-O's Balls. -Guitar Central's Social Assimilation Classes for Musicians. -Trista and Ryan's The Rest of Their Lives. -Bush in Space. -The new comissioner of education for California: Calista Flockhart! -Jamie Foxx, Snoop Dogg, Wanda Sykes, Shaq, and MC Hammer give chick advice to a lucky white guy. Black Eye for the White Guy. -The new director of fitness for California: Marlon Brando!

Skits include: -Sly Stallone and Arnold run around in costumes. -Biggie Smalls and Tupac Shakur's Romantic Moods CD -""Washington Squares"" -Howard Dean and the Brody Kids. -Yogi Bush and Boo-Boo Cheney try to outwit Ranger Gore. -""Band Members Reunited"" Def Leopard. -The WB's new Shirtless Tuesday. -Samuel L. Jackson teaches us that the more you f**king read, the more you f**king know! -""The Ted Kennedy Experiment"" -Rush Limbaugh's court hearing with witness Bill O'Reilly. -Bush fights giant monsters in North Korea.

Skits include: -The Time Pervs visit the future. -The Home Shopping Channel: The U.S. Constitution. -Axl Rose gets a new job at McDougals 2. -""Tom and Rummy's Right Wing Icecream"" commercial. -The Shield's Vic Mackey visits The Andy Griffith Show. -The Home Shopping Channel: Innocent Blood. -""American Chopper"" -The Home Shopping Channel: A Dirty Bomb. -""Willie Nelson and The Strokes"" -Help reivigerate your sex life with John and Teresa Kerry's instructional DVD. -""R. Kelly's Parallel Universe""

Skits include: -The Good Time Party Squad visits Robert Downey Jr., Charlie Sheen, Matthew Perry, Whitney Housten, and C.C. Deville at The Betty Ford Center. -""The Crocodile Hunter"" -""The Soprano Kids"" -""Satan and His Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse"" -Michael Jackson tries to find new friends in space. -Cheney and Scalia go ""liberal hunting"" -""Harry Potter and the Prisoners of Puberty"" -Dr. Phil tries to settle the dispute between Yasser Arafat and Arial Sharon. -Preview for ""Catwoman Sucks""

Skits include: -Weekend at Bush's -""Now That's What I Call the Christ"" CD -NASCAR anime -Samuel L. Jackson teaches us to cheer the f**k up! -Ripley and the crew of the Nostromo have an alien encounter with Michael Jackson -IPOD commercial -Don Magic Juan decides who will be the next ""Pimp Apprentice"" -Satan sends his four horsemen of the apocalypse to kill Owen Wilson.

Skits include: -The Time Pervs go back to 1995 to prevent Bill Clinton from making a huge mistake. -Dick Cheney is The Six Bazillion Dollar Vice President. -Ad for the 2005 Dudge Environmental-Holocaust SUV. -John Kerry shreds up the slopes snowboarding in his new video game ""John Kerry Pro Snowboarder"" -Donald Rumsfeld's new fragrance ""Balls"" cologne. -""VH1's 87 Greatest Celebrity Butt Cracks"" -Tom Brokaw reports on a violent hockey attack. -Samuel L. Jackson teaches us that smoking pot is for f**kheads! -The founding fathers discuss the thought of electronic mail, or E-mail for short. -""Ron Jeremy: Living"" -The founding fathers discuss the thought of internet dating.

Skits include: -Introducing Bush's new running mate, William Hung! -""Before They Got it Right"": Finding the right catchphrase for The Apprentice. -Mascots have problems too, when Hoot, Smokey the Bear, and the Crying Indian confront Scruff McGruff about his crime-eating disorder. -""Celebrity Keno"" -John Kerry flip-flops. -Jay Mohr hosts the ""Last Comic Book Hero Standing"" -John Kerry flip-flops 2. -""The Nemisis Game"": Spider Man -""The Rejected Advertising Mascot Anarchists"" -The stars of ILL-ustrated have some fun with the likes of Rick Moranis, Michael Keaton, Michael Jackson, and Arnold Schwarzenegger.