Victoria Wood

Victoria's holiday flight to sun soaked Alicante has been delayed by seven hours and she's pigged all her chocolates and finished all the women's magazine surveys. Now it's time to mingle with her fellow passengers, amongst which lurks a rampant woman who's keen to introduce Victoria to a wilder world than the one in the problem pages...

Having read ""Swallows and Amazons"", Victoria assumes that her backpacking holiday with friend Jackie will be all milk and buns in local farm kitchens singing ""The Happy Wanderer"". That is, until they meet a Perrier drinking couple at the first farm, lose their way and fight with the tent - and each other. Then they stumble upon a youth hostel - from now on things can only get worse...

Snatched away to the purgatory of Pinkney's health farm by her determined friend Lill who's desperate to reshape her body and ensnare her married lover once and for all, Victoria is pretty miserable. What with Enid and her water retention, Connie and her runaway midriff, miniscule portions and jogging practice at 6:25am, things are getting a bit out of hand.

What bliss! Victoria's cosily tucked up in front of the telly, deep into couch potato mode until friend Jane rings and drags her to her third least favourite thing - a cocktail party (sharing a jacuzzi with Mrs Margaret Thatcher comes first - no competition). The atmosphere is suitably snooty - all Felicity Kendall and David Attenborough enthusiasts - and what's worse, Victoria's just discovered - as the only foul mouthed, raunchy, anarchic, alternative, feminist left wing comedienne in the room - she's the evening's entertainment.

Run by the terrible Madge - who thinks book burning is a sensible alternative to gas central heating - the biggest excitement in Victoria's local library at the moment is waiting for the Domesday Book to come out in paperback. But things are hotting up there now that Victoria's friend has discovered the library is the ideal place to watch her new video dating cassettes. And two's company, three's definitely a crowd when Victoria decides to tag along on the dates to root out any potential axe-murderers...

When Victoria's friend Lorraine ducks out of her appearance on Live With Pam, one of TV's top talk shows, it's up to Victoria to save the day - and the show. Trouble is, Pam's rather a nightmare - all tie neck blouse and slingbacks - and Victoria's not very tolerant of the Margaret Thatcher look...