Nearest and Dearest

Nellie finds herself bedridden and bedsore. But, she says, it's all a mistake. Eli had the symptoms - why should she end up in the blanket-bath?

The problems of parenthood arrive at the Pledge's home in the form of Nigel, the teenage son of a cousin. Nellie and Eli, homely and sensible Lancashire folk, arrange a children's tea party for him, but jellies and Eccles cakes are not quite Nigel's cup of tea. Precocious fellow that he is, Nigel has more mature things on his mind in the shape of ""birds"", and some searching questions for Nellie and Eli about those ""birds"" - and bees.

Walter and Lily, the Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman of Colne, have been together now for 24 years, and their marriage has always seemed, to outsiders, to be one long honeymoon. Nellie and Eli move in as marriage-maker and marriage-breaker when Lily confesses that the relationship is not all it appears.

Labour relations have always been good at Pledge's Purer Pickles; the last strike there was solved quite happily when Winston Churchill ordered the troops in. Demarcation disputes are unknown; cauliflower cutters get the same piece-work rates as gherkin girls, and the beetroot-boilers are totally happy with their two shillings a week danger money. Fringe benefits are good. You can take home as many misshapen pickled onions as you can carry. So why is there the smell of revolution in the air?

Considering they're brother and sister, Nellie and Eli Pledge aren't the best of friends. Perhaps they never stop to find out what the other is thinking or never listen or talk enough to each other. Life's too frantic to take time off and discover what makes someone tick - until one of those long-lost weekends when you find yourself with too much time on your hands.

Hard times arrive at Pledge's Purer Pickles when a pirate pickler undercuts their prices. It's like the Depression all over again and Nellie and Eli face the possibility of having to dispose of some of the family heirlooms like Stan and his cart-horse Storm. But will it come to that? Can the graph of gherkin sales be made to rise again?

Boxing Day at Pledge's Purer Pickles. The factory is quite. The last consingnment of special gift-wrapped gherkins for Christmas has long gone. Nellie and Eli find time to spend a few peaceful hours with the family. It is a small family circle these days and the Pledge's are left with Lily and Walter, affectionately known - by Eli at least - as the Christmas Fairy and King Rat. But is it a good idea to hold a séance to try to get in touch with old Joshua Pledge who has been dead these two years? Is Lily really a medium? Can the ghosts of picklers long departed really roam the factory? Is dad trying to get in touch with Nellie from that great pickle factory in the sky? And, for that matter, what was that noise? It couldn't be the sound of phantom clog-steps…could it?