ALBUMMER!

On this episode on Albummer!, we take a look back at the twenty albums we listened to last year and try to determine gauntlet-style which one gave us the most trauma. This is our Apocolypse Now. May God have mercy on our souls.

Ooooooh Yeaaaah!!! Today on Albummer! we're talking about Macho Man Randy Savage's rap album "Be A Man" ohhh yeaaaah with Colin Young of God's Hate (their vocalist is wrestler Brody King oh yeaaaah). Watch us experience joy for once.

This week on Albummer! we listen to the surprisingly palatable first rap album by basketball icon and fossil fuel appreciator, Shaquille O'Neal. This episode is brought to you by the 47 products Shaq is currently the spokesperson for.

This Week on Albummer! we investigate the obvious cash grab of some dude doing a bad Minions impression over unlicensed music. You want to see us get tortured? Step on us, Mistress Minion.

Billy Idol's Cyberpunk 1993 walked so Cyberpunk 2077 could run -- off a cliff. See, the Albummer! crew knows a little bit about video games. And prop work!

Today on Albummer! the gang listens to what could possibly be America's first epic fail vid, the Shaggs' Philosophy of the World. It's like the Jackson 5 with way less skill and way more duress!

Oh no. If doing 27 episodes of this show has taught us anything it's that when rappers try to make rock albums it's always bad and if someone replaces the word "to" with the number 2 we're all going to want to die.

This week on Albummer! we're talking weird butt rock icons, Godsmack. Maybe this is the worst Godsmack album? Maybe this is the best? We don't know but 1,000 hp is a lot and we're going to need the Savage Lynel Sword to defeat these guys... ahhh VIDEO GAMES!!!

This week on Albummer! we're talking about the dude playing a dude disguised as another dude of country music. Yes, it's Garth Brook's convoluted alter ego, and Jordan's absolute worst costume yet, Chris Gaines. What the hell is happening?

Today we're joined by our friend Sam Nulman (Girls5eva) to talk about Rod Stewart's 32nd album, "Tears of Hercules." They say that practice makes perfect so these are probably Rod's best songs about having painful sex.

This week on Albummer! we're talking about Kidz Bop 3, the longest of the Kidz Bops and the longest hour of our lives. Soulless children singing contemporary pop hits! What could go wrong?

There are few albums more cursed, more reviled, and more unspeakably terrible than Lulu, the Metallica/Lou Reed collaborative album. We asked comedian Kyle Kinane to talk about it with us and he instantly regretted it. Please, do not listen to this album. In fact, don't even watch this video. Save yourselves.

This week on Albummer! the gang is talking about Atilla, Long Island royalty Billy Joel's long-lost two-member metal project from when he was only 20 years old. It kicks ass, but you know what doesn't? Drinking and driving. Stay safe, mustaches.

Music. The Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the Albummer! crew as they listen to bad music and think "why did the actor who played Spock spoil the entire plot of The Hobbit in a novelty song? Illogical."

This week on Albummer! the gang talks about Machine Gun Kelly’s newest pop punk album “Mainstream Sellout.” Is he saving guitar music, or does his publicist just have a nightmare job? Find out!

Today on Albummer! the gang is talking about Around the World with The Chipmunks, a novelty record from 1960 that's not nearly as racist as we expected it would be but we still had a good time.

Today on Albummer! we're talking about Loud Rocks: an extremely year 2000 mashup of metal and hip hop that probably should have been forgotten but we have content to make. Ruh oh.

This week on Albummer we're listening to... damnit. Imagine Dragons? Ugh. At least you freaks who like to see us get tortured for sixty minutes are gonna have a good time.

This week on Albummer! we're talking about the worst thing you've ever heard before, ourselves! We're answering questions that were submitted to us by you, the fans. We talk for a long time about sandwiches.

Today on Albummer! We're talking about the Insane Clown Posse album with the song about not knowing how magnets work. Also, Jeremy used to be a Juggalo. Good night and good luck.

This week on Albummer! we're talking about Kryst the Conqueror, the failed Christian-themed power metal band that Jerry Only and Doyle started after The Misfits broke up. This is certainly an album that will make you shout "Jesus Christ."

Today on Albummer! we're talking about Steve-O's ill-fated and luckily mostly forgotten foray into rap, The Dumbest Asshole in Hip Hop. The dude once took a hungry leech to his eye but this is somehow worse.

This week on Albummer! we're talking about the Jet album that notoriously got a 0.0 and a video of a monkey pissing as a review on Pitchfork. Is this that bad? It's not even the worst thing we've listened to this month but man, what a discussion!

Today on Albummer! we're talking music from and inspired by Mission Impossible 2. It's a dozen nu-metal songs that weren't in the movie and a Tori Amos bop for good measure. WTF?

Today on Albummer! the gang takes a look at Liz Phair's 2003 self-titled album which frankly, kicks ass. Why did it get notoriously harsh reviews from several huge publications upon its release? Oh yeah, sexism!

Today on Albummer! we're talking about Freddy's Greatest Hits, a collection of Doo Wop songs with a couple of samples of Freddy Kruger without curses. What the heck? Why doesn't he rap?

Today on Albummer! the gang is joined by Stereogum senior editor Tom Breihan to talk about Transplants self titled debut. If you liked Rancid, Operation Ivy, Blink-182, or commercials for shampoo in the year 2002 you're going to love this episode!

This week we're talking about ScarJo's 2008 debut album, "Anywhere I Lay My Head," a collection of Tom Waits cover songs that nobody wanted. Is this technically part of the MCU now?

Whoa today we're talking about WWE Originals with wrestling fanatic Dan Ryckert. He forced us to endure 17 unlistenable songs by thicc adults covered in baby oil and then we spent a long time talking about what constitutes a burrito!

Today on Albummer! we're talking about Aerosmith's 2012 release "Music from Another Dimension." As Lucie points out, unfortunately, this sounds exactly like it came from our suck-ass dimension.

Today on Albummer! we're joined by YouTuber, drummer, and actual video game player Jon Sudano to talk about the Quake soundtrack. It's like four hours of computer farting in Hell. Good work, Trent Reznor!

We're looking at the soundtrack to Tony Hawk's American Wasteland, 14 classic cover songs made by contemporary punk musicians. Plus, we're joined by James Munoz of The Bled who actually played on this album (even if he never played the game).

This week on Albummer! the gang is talking about the Sonic Adventure 2 soundtrack with Hard Drive Magazine editor Jeremy Kaplowitz. This album was so good it even made Jordan consider buying a Dreamcast.

Today on Albummer! we're talking about Ryan Gosling's Band, Dead Man's Bones, and their only album from 2009. Can beautiful people be spooky? Maybe.

Today on Albummer! the gang is joined by enemy of the show and War on Women front person Shawna Potter to talk about Alien Ant Farm. Do you remember those nu-metal guys who covered a Michael Jackson song? Turns out they had 12 original songs on that CD, too.

Today on Albummer! we're talking about The Clash's last album, the non-ironically named Cut the Crap. A beloved band ending with a swan song akin to a diaper on fire? Sounds like a solid episode idea!

This week on Albummer! we're talking about Dee Dee Ramone's solo rap album, "Standing in the Spotlight." Show us on the leather jacket where he hurt you.

Today on Albummer! we're talking about Metallica's first post black album release and arguably the beginning of their decent into madness. This is our first episode of Monthtallica and we're joined by comedian and human inkblot Shayne Smith!

This week on Albummer! we're continuing Monthtallica, our deep dive into the later half Metallica albums with the sequel to Load, the aptly named Reload. We're joined by fellow podcaster Alex Ptak who famously bought this as his first pre-teen music purchase.

60 episodes? In a row? This week on Albummer! we're doing a very spooky Halloween mailbag and answering thought-provoking questions about candy and mischief night. Jeremy is probably a felon.

Today on Albummer! we're continuing Monthtallica (or Metallitober if you follow the Gregorian Calendar) by doing a deep dive into 2008's Death Magnetic with our buddy Jonah Ray. He's good boy with mostly nice things to say.

Today on Albummer! we're wrapping up Monthtobatallica or whatever with 2016's "Hardwired... To Self Destruct." Our guest is comedian Shane Torres came in with an open mind and left with a broken spirit!

Yabba Dabba California warn ya today on Albummer! We're talking about the second double album released by the Red Hot Chili Peppers THIS YEAR, "Return of the Dream Canteen."

Bee bah pah bado bah, we're talking about Scatman John's full length album. Oh you didn't know he had an album? We didn't even know there were any other words besides skibby deeby dee.

If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eyed Joe we wouldn't have ever started this podcast. Oh my god there are so many Swedish fake country songs.

As Albummer! goes on an indefinite hiatus we reflect upon what we learned listening to sixty-six critically reviled albums. Oh and we talk a little bit about Pure Moods but mostly we just riff. We love you.